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After Jamina Bone gave birth to her second child, she was hit with strong postpartum depression, also known as PPD.

"It went from a very educational approach where I was constantly looking up the 'best' way to handle every aspect to being unable to move," Bone told Bored Panda. "I used to plan activities, limit screen time, and make every opportunity a learning moment. I was a Special Educator before having kids so this was everything I wanted and felt equipped to do it all. When PPD hit, it was like wading through mud or even quicksand and still being expected to do all the things."

She felt broken, unworthy of being a mom for her perfect little beings, and selfish for wanting to get away. "I kept the negative thoughts in my head and often imagined terrifying things from hurting myself to the death of my baby. Being isolated the first several months and lack of sleep were definite factors that played into depression but also not dealing with the sudden death of my mother in law to cancer when I was pregnant. I didn’t realize these were risk factors." The woman didn't realize she was depressed. She just thought she was failing.

Over time, however, Bone has managed to get out of the rut. Now, the mom-of-two is encouraging "imPERFECT moms" to ditch social norms and embrace their true badass selves. One of the ways she's doing it is illustrating everyday situations. Through her pictures, Bone reminds people that a woman can have doubts and still be a good mom. She can feel disappointed and still be a good mom. Most importantly, she can be herself, forget the pseudoperfect happy-go-lucky mentality and still be a good mom.

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"We moms are bombarded with the 'proper' ways to parent from Google to Pinterest and perfection-blasted on social media," Bone said. "We share baby milestones with our friends and loved ones, but forget to discuss the difficulties of parenthood. Well, let's be real, motherhood. The mother is expected to give 100% of her body, most of her time, and the majority of her mental energy planning for the what-ifs and all the needs. Community is lost, support is seen as weakness, and if you're depressed, you're seen as ungrateful and selfish."

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    Bone thinks we are a society that lifts the 'selfless' behavior of mothers up on pedestals while condemning the ones who are crying for help. We don't realize that we confuse selfless with self-hate or self-contempt. "My mother was selfless, but I would also say she hated her body, felt unlovable, and rattled with guilt for not seeing abuses that happened to her children," Bone explained. "She used so many opportunities to punish herself from not dating, not taking care of her body, to even shaming herself in front of us."

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    So, like most adults with children of their own, Bone finds herself trying to correct the wrongs. "Many of us built our adult foundation upon trauma without realizing the need for internal healing. Weirdly enough, depression was my unwanted 'gift' that forced me and my family to sort through every aspect in our lives that wasn't working in our favor. We set boundaries, went to therapy, talked to our doctors, and closed the door on every external expectation for our family."

    The down-to-earth mom describes her parenting as 'good enough' and says she is still a work in progress. "I am healing myself and trying to break the cycles of abuse and neglect my husband and I collectively had in our childhoods. I zone in on my own set of values of what I am good at. My kids feel safe and held and seen and heard, and as long as I am moving forward in my own parenting journey, I am good enough," Bone explained, adding that she and her husband communicate more now than ever which also helps share the burdens and joys of parenting.

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    Bone said that one of the most important steps towards overcoming the overwhelming feeling of guilt is celebrating your victories. "I developed a simple online quiz to help mamas find what they are good at. This quiz leads you to know the values that are most important to you so you can learn to turn off the feeling of guilt when you see a Karen posting her gluten-free, no-sugar-added snacks with her home-cooked meals cut out in cute shapes that her kids never complain about after having organized homeschool activities, teaching writing to her 1-year-old because it's never too soon to learn writing." Knowing that Karen has different strengths and values than you is key.

    "I'm also creating a mental health makeover for exhausted mamas coming out soon! I am really proud of this one and even received input from a psychologist specializing in maternal mental health to be sure I was helping and not hindering growth. To sit in the lies fake mom guilt leads us to believe, we often become friends with those voices and we don't know who we are without them. We begin to believe the lies over the truth and over time we forget who we are or who we are becoming. Knowing where to start in order to move past these limited beliefs can be debilitating." This makeover, called "Enough" essentially takes mamas through 5 weeks of progress and habit building based around healthier thoughts, taking control of triggers, and finding a balance that is doable.

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    LittleMissLotus
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The trolls on this post need to chill. It's not like this person is saying you should feed your kid nothing but fast food, and one hamburger isn't going to kill them...

    Alexis Schmidt
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! Everything is good in moderation and it's not like that's literally the only thing that the kid's eating. Just chill, y'all. It's totally okay to eat fast food occasionally and it's also okay to not eat it ever. You do you and mind your own business. It's not like the kid's getting assaulted by a cheeseburger...

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    Zei Kiljoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also parents are allowed to have a 'I am not cooking tonight' moment.

    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom was a single mother raising 2 kids and working long hours. When she had a big project that would require even longer hours, she would declare it "junk food week." Five nights of fast food. We enjoyed it, but knew that it was limited to one week and that regular meals would resume.

    Aly Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Warning to everyone: Do NOT press load more comments. It’s full of people saying the mom is bad for feeding the kid fast food.

    𝓴𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓲_𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔂 💖
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It´s OK to treat your kids to something that isn´t junk food once in a while! Some people need to chill. What are you going to do? make your kids go on a keto diet?

    Richard Brown
    Community Member
    4 years ago

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    JessG
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Eh, questionable. Maybe once a week

    Alexis Schmidt
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's obviously not for every meal and a concept called "moderation" exists. No one is perfect.

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    Scyth
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I'm sorry, but this is too far. Way to make your children obese with fragile sticks for bones and ridden with problems for a large part of their lives. What happened to not indulging your child with everything they ask for?

    Alexis Schmidt
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happened to respecting other's choices, especially when they don't have any effect on you? The illustration obviously isn't advocating for fast food at every single meal. It's fine to have fast food occasionally.

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