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30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have Crohn's disease. The fatigue and the joint pain can be debilitating. I have been accused by family members of being lazy because somedays I can't get motivated and do even the smallest of chores. Most people don't realize that with Crohns and Colitis the symptoms aren't just intestinal. The inflammation can effect your entire body. It breaks my heart because I really just want to be normal and capable.

candmjjjc , drian Swancar Report

Final score:

265points

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Tracey Robinson 2 years ago

I'm with you there x

47points

lurklurklurkPOST , Robina Weermeijer Report

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have ADHD

I tell people; Imagine brains are like browsers. A normal person can have several tabs open at once, switching between them as needed.

An ADHD brain has just 2 tabs. Whatever you're doing right at this moment, and a tab just for daydreams that you can't close that plays audio in the background.

Give a normal person a task: "Do your laundry at some point today" and they'll pop it in a new tab and get to it when they're closing tabs later.

Give an ADHD brain the same task, and their one functional tab becomes "remember to do laundry" until a new task pops up, at which point it gets overwritten.

It really sucks as a kid because it's functionally identical to forgetting, and if you've ever had parents, you know "I forgot" is not an acceptable answer.

Final score:

245points

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TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Oh believe me lol i know the felling, i don't have ADHD, i have Asperger syndrome, and worst i'm from the 80s ( when Asperger didn't existed ) which meant i was just had bad behavior, was lazy, and rude lol, and my Mother was a firm appologist in beating my a*s everytime i " missbehaved " ...

92points

wildonthefrontier , Matteo Vistocco Report

What seems incredibly simple for one individual might be extremely hard for another. There’s a bit of an understanding and empathy gap here. People can find it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes concerning tasks and activities that come naturally to them. However, we can start to understand what patients might be feeling by considering what we, ourselves, find difficult, and applying it to other areas in life.

Something else to take into account is the amount of chronic pain and discomfort some folks might be dealing with every single day. We have to think back to the times that we’ve had to function while in pain if we don’t ‘get’ how others might have trouble doing seemingly ‘easy’ tasks. Have you ever had to work or go to school with a toothache, broken arm, or severely upset stomach? Now imagine having to get things done with that (only possibly even worse).

Then there are the psychological factors to consider. People with ADD, ADHD, Asperger’s, autism, extreme sensory sensitivity, and other disorders provided the internet with a window into their lives in the r/AskReddit thread. The best way forward is to be as kind as you can to everyone you meet, no matter if they’re fit as a fiddle or have to deal with lots of obvious and not-so-obvious medical problems.

According to psychotherapist Silva Neves, people have two different, constantly-competing instincts within themselves. One for kindness. The other—for survival. Our brains are hardwired to reward us when we’re acting in a social and altruistic way, he told Bored Panda a while back. A the same time, we’re also prone to selfishness because it’s directly linked to our desire to survive.

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Migraines. To the point of pitch black room, no noise, no aromas or odors, ice cold and ice packs on my head. Can’t see because of all the flashing lights and dark spots in my vision. I hate going somewhere and someone is wearing some cloying sweet perfume because I will get nauseous and flashes start and I could be down for days. Longest migraine was 7 days; had to have i.v. therapy and shots in the butt for the pain.

Final score:

222points

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Susie Elle 2 years ago

I've had periods of migraines when I was younger, ocular ones. Couldn't see anything except for weird lightningbolt flashes, immense headaches and vomiting until I felt better. I can't imagine how hard it must be to experience them on such a regular basis and for such a long period of time. I have a stupid question: doesn't there exist any medication for migraines?

47points

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Celiac disease. People joke about gluten free being a fad diet for basic bi**hes, and then get really irritated with me when I request that when dining out together we go somewhere safe for me to eat. I’m so sorry but PLEASE don’t veto this restaurant just because it doesn’t quite hit your craving. It is literally the only safe place where I can eat something on the menu.

MollFlanders , Julia Tsukurova Report

Final score:

200points

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Laura Ketteridge 2 years ago

When eating out, I will always say to the waiter that I'm gluten-free, and even a tiny bit of gluten will cause problems. From time to time, a chef will come out just to check whether is is a diet-of-choice, or medical need. They have all been brilliant.

7points

PossessionNo6878 , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Arthritis in my hands knees and spine and Bipolar 1. Other stuff too. People (my wife's dad most recently), think it's seriously okay to make fun of the noises I make when I have to stand up. I refuse to take opiates. Standing hurts. A lot. He will literally talk s**t to my wife when I'm out of the room about how I'm just a Pu***. That it's just laziness.

I'm also a large guy. 5'11 280lbs fairly muscular (pretty solid dad bod) they get mad or tease me because I won't do things like carry shingles up onto my roof, and that I paid a neighbor to do it. Arthritis is degenerative and painful. Just because I look this way doesn't mean I can lift and carry.

The bipolar? I have psychotic features. Hallucinations (audio/visual). The minute people hear the word "psychotic" attached to anything they run away screaming. I've lost close friends, relationships, jobs (I have a hard time finding and keeping one. Another thing that gains ridicule), and have family that won't let their kids around me because of a diagnostic term.

I've never hurt anyone. My visual hallucinations are usually dogs and rats that I pet idly if I'm not focusing and distressed. My audio hallucinations are literally audible music, or mostly kind voices encouraging me to do better. I'm not suddenly going to be a serial killer. This has been a thing since I was a child. The ONLY person I've hurt outside of a fair fight (I was a bar hopper for a little while in my youth) is MYSELF.

Final score:

198points

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Madeleine 2 years ago

“The minute people hear the word ‘psychotic’ attached to anything they run away screaming.” It sounds like it’s time to experiment with not attaching that word. Unless someone becomes very close to you and is trustworthy, they don’t need to know details about your condition.

4points

Boring_Blueberry_420 , arritos Mexican Soda Report

People tend to worry that by helping someone out, by being kind to them, it can somehow backfire on them. However, there are benefits to kindness, too. Altruism can make us feel good physically, it gives us a sense of purpose, and it can raise our own self-esteem.

“It [kindness] is also good for others, obviously. So kindness is actually something that we, humans, are naturally driven to be. “The sense of kindness is in competition with our survival mode, so, as human beings, we tend to live in contradiction, between kindness (opening our arms) and protection (closing our arms).”

Meanwhile, the Action for Happiness team previously explained to Bored Panda that altruism is closely linked to our own happiness. When we’re kind to others, when we act in a selfless way, the reward center in our brains gets activated.

“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today,” the AfH team shared how someone can start becoming kinder to others in their daily lives. You might decide that you want to volunteer for a good cause, help an elderly neighbor, or give money to charity.

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I literally have a memory problem, and when I say that everyone acts like I'm joking. Until we are mid sentence and I have no idea what we are talking about. Sometimes people get mad. I can't control it. It's annoying to me too, not just you!

Final score:

177points

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Amanda 2 years ago

I feel this. I have fibromyalgia, and the fibro fog is real. I forget names I’ve known for awhile, specifically kids I teach, and they get a little upset when I ask them to repeat it. I’ve explained though that it will happen, and it’s something I can’t control unfortunately.

64points

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have autism and a few diagnosed mental illnesses that I go therapy for. I have a very hard time blocking noise out due to my autism and I hated as a kid when I would complain about another student bothering me in class and the teacher would respond with, “just ignore them” I LITERALLY CAN'T???? Now as a high schooler, I can just put my headphones on and my teachers don’t mind, since I get my work done in a timely manner (most of the time lol).

This is the only thing I can think of right now, but I might add to it.

ihaveteafortea , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:

175points

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max and the expresso 2 years ago

I also have sensory issues and earphones in the classroom/work environment are a life saver

50points

my depression often cripples me from being able to enjoy or simple tasks. but im just lazy. thats what people say and im starting to kinda believe it. sometimes i cant even will myself to get up

burntbtoast Report

Final score:

158points

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Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago

I know, please take some comfort in the fact you are not alone , we understand

75points

“All of these actions help others and boost your own happiness and if we are happier, research shows we are even more likely to help others,” Action for Happiness said. According to them, if you’re not used to being altruistic and kind, it’s fine to fake it until you make it.

“Maybe at first, you start out doing things to help others only to get attention and praise, but you will find that doing things for others helps you feel good and when you see people’s responses. Once you see the difference you can make in the world and to your own happiness and altruism can grow naturally.”

#10

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have POTS. If I stand up my pulse spikes to 140 bpm and stays that way till I lay down. This often leads to migraines and fainting just from being up for too long. I spend almost all my time in bed, so I can't do most things. Luckily my wife is understanding and we find ways to make it work, but other family members like my parents don't accept my problems and would constantly try to push me to the point of falling down.

odysseyshot , Mufid Majnun Report

Final score:

157points

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MantisGirl15 2 years ago

Same here! People, especially my parents, often don't trust when I say I'm tired or unable to do something because POTS affects me differently every day and I could seem fine one day and feel horrible the next day.

31points

#11

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have diagnosed agoraphobia. Most people think that means I don't want to go outside. That couldn't be further from the truth. I can't stand huge spaces with crowds. I was diagnosed before mass shootings were a thing. It's way worse now. Now I cancel plans a lot and it's because of my mental health but people think it's just because I "don't feel like it".

dissapointingsex , Jake Weirick Report

Final score:

145points

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Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago

I have agoraphobia, physical disabilities and depression and a lady from Social Care was her to see if I qualified for having Carers. She ask me to list the things that are wrong with me and when I said that I have agoraphobia,she turned round and said "Oh it's not that you can't go out, it's that you don't want to". When I told me Social Worker, she was not happy because she had seen how it upsets me when I think I may have to go out. Because of my physical disabilities I can't get out anyway but she shouldn't have said it

48points

blackesthearted , Elia Pellegrini Report

#12

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I'm autistic, of the "would be Asperger if that was still it's own diagnosis in my country, but it's not" variety.

I only have a few sensory issues, but I get flack for them all the time.

I'm mostly vegetarian because I can't tolerate meat unless it meets certain criteria. Ground beef is usually fine, as is heavily processed meat that doesn't resemble meat much (like chicken nuggets or most lunch meat). But like, a chicken breast or pork chop? Absolutely not. I've been harassed about this for over three decades now. "Just eat it, it wont hurt you" and "you're just being weird" and "don't be difficult, everyone eats this."

Also, sensory overload. I usually have a high tolerance and it's hard to push me into a meltdown (it's more like a shutdown for me), but when I get there, I legitimatelt cannot function unless I can remove myself to a quiet dark room to "reset." I've never needed to do this in school or work (I'm an RN) but in my personal life I've been called "dramatic" or "difficult" for sometimes needing 5-10 minutes alone to get my sensory needle out of the red.

Mind, I grew up in the dark ages of the 80s and 90s and because I'm female and of "above average" intelligence, was repeatedly told as a child and teenager I could not be autistic. I was diagnosed in my 30s. But, the "you can get over this if you just tried" thing has not stopped since getting my official diagnosis. If anything, it's gotten worse because "yeah but you're not on the 'bad' end of the spectrum so what's the problem?"

Final score:

130points

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Jaguarundi 2 years ago

I truly feel you. Anyone who is "high functioning" is obviously faking to most people. I had to learn to hide and camouflage being on the high end of the spectrum. I still haven't mastered facial expressions (I may never do so at my age) so I always look angry or disinterested. It's hard, very hard for me too. Take care of yourself first, other people may not.

61points

#13

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Hold down a job. I've got a triple threat of medical conditions, epilepsy, diabetes and aspergers. My parents see me only at my physical appearance, my dad has even stated that it's because I'm part of a generation that wants instant gratification and all the millennial stereotypes. My mom thinks I'm just playing a Sad sob story as an excuse not to work hard. But the thing is, I try my damned best to do what I do. I mean I can't earn over a certain amount or my social security stops, so i take the roll of house husband and do all the chores. Cook, clean, grocery shop, ect. But my parents think it's me being lazy. And I'll be the first to admit I've never been good at holding a job. Between the depression from being torn away from my hometown and friends without even being allowed to get phone numbers to say good bye, and the epilepsy that made it near impossible for me to get my driver's license, I decided being a homemaker would be my best course of action. But of course, nothing will ever be good enough for them. They hold every mistake I make over my head. And it sucks. I can't even afford a service animal to help me with my epilepsy/seizures

WinterWizard9497 , Tony Tran Report

Final score:

122points

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Jackie Lulu 2 years ago

Sounds like a big part of your problem is your parents!

72points

#14

I have quite severe endometriosis which is causing a lot of flow on inflammation issues and a whole lot of pain.

It's hard to get people to understand what it even is beyond 'period pain' let alone how it affects me. This is affecting more than just my uterus, and it is every single day. My fam is good, work is not.

HowlingKitten07 Report

Final score:

109points

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Helen Waight 2 years ago

Endometriosis is something I cannot get my boss to understand. No, it’s not ‘just cramps’, it’s ‘vomiting in pain and trying to knock yourself out on the nearest wall’. Some doctors are really unbelievable too - ‘oh that’ll go away once you have kids’

58points

justmanny_beingmanny Report

#15

I had acute leukemia as an adult and had 2.5 years of intensive chemotherapy. I have now been done with chemo 5 years, but I still struggle so much with fatigue. I can only handle like one errand a day or a couple of household chores. I look pretty healthy now and a lot of people just don’t get how much damage the chemo did to my body.

Final score:

101points

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Natasha Tomes 2 years ago

My ex had cancer at 18. He took almost a decade to get to where he could work a full time job.

24points

ForsakenPercentage53 Report

#16

Household chores that involve my arms over my head or a lot of force.

I have a connective tissue disorder that makes me hypermobile. It *literally* means it's harder for me to do something like fold laundry. But it's invisible and I can handle it most of the time (Thanks to a ton of physical therapy!) so people just pretend I'm being lazy.

Final score:

100points

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Alexandra Davis 2 years ago

EDS! I have this too, both the hypermobility form mentioned here (I can dislocate/ partially dislocate stupidly easily, like taking off a jumper will pop my shoulder out!) and vascular form which is much more dangerous. Mine isn't as invisible because this and other physical conditions have left me needing to use a wheelchair full time. But when I could walk, but in daily chronic pain lots of people (thankfully not friends or family) would think me lazy/ low pain threshold when actually it's very very high!)

31points

#17

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Waking up in the morning. I have a complex medical history that includes Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder and I've tried every recommended treatment but it's going against my natural state and I don't want to have to take more meds on top of the ones I have already.

I can work remotely at night and I get decent quality sleep during the day (when it's quiet, that's another story) but my family are convinced this is a sign of depression or laziness. If I force myself to be awake during the day I am clumsy, I drop things all the time and I struggle to form sentences. At night I can multitask, complete 3 hours work in 1 hour and my memory is sharp. There is no reason for me to try and fit daylight hours except to fit into what they think is normal.

Craicpot7 , Kinga Cichewicz Report

Final score:

98points

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Vinicius Assis 2 years ago

Same here

24points

#18

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Combo disorder depression and anxiety mixed around with brain trauma. I forget things constantly and have a hard time doing what others see as simple daily tasks. Anxiety is rough, but it's the absolute worst when it comes to operating a vehicle. Due to my inability to drive safely without the risk of harming others, I choose to not drive. Because I could kill someone. Obviously. The people around me don't understand it at all and I get told I need to grow up or simply not care if I kill a person because driving is just soooo important.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt someone. I cannot put a luxury above the lives of others.

angroro Report

Final score:

94points

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Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago

I have depression and anxiety and agoraphobia and physical disabilities and the number of times I have been made to feel lazy , sometimes by my parents, sometimes by Carers . My parents it was " she's doing it for attention" or " Snap out of it", " Get over it". Another was " Oh what's she crying for now", I had no idea what I was crying for sometimes it happens. My partner wasn't much help either, he used to said that he understood,but he didn't (he died in January) I am now on my own it has made it so much worst because I have to much time to sit and think about things and worry over them . Money yes, we all worry over money at the moment, it can still things like what I am I having for dinner. I know it's silly but that's how my brain is wired and I can't help it

30points

#19

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them it’s not as serious but I’ve had chronic bladder and kidney infections since I was 15 which basically meant constant rounds of antibiotics but also I got up in class 3-4 times an hour to go pee. My teachers were MAD and accused me of just using my phone or wanting to ditch class, when in reality I was just in a lot of pain.

t1nydancers , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

Final score:

90points

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Gabriele Alfredo Pini 2 years ago (edited)

This I don't understand. I know which kids I let them go to the bathroom and then scold (or put a note for the parents on their diary) because they need to learn to wake up a little earlier, and which kids have legitimate problems and need to go to the toilet often. I have a kid with a probable urethra chronic infection and one with little control on their intestine. I will never scold them!

42points

Mysterious_Sugar7220 , Sofia Alejandra Report

#20

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Just go to the ME/CFS sub. I was diagnosed at 23 and am thankfully recovered, but it's the worst illness, and people don't believe you're sick.

Long Covid has finally given people some understanding.

It's not 'tiredness.' It's your limbs feeling like lead - just crossing a room feels like you're walking through molasses. Vertigo that makes you feel like you're going to pass out when you stand up. Sore, achy, painful muscles and joints - neck, shoulders, back, legs. No appetite. Brain fog. Headache. And all of this combined with the worst, most deadening exhaustion you can imagine.

It's essentially the worst flu imaginable, every day. I was basically bedbound.

Besides the flat-out contempt I received from some doctors, there was my family's insistence that it was a 'nervous breakdown,' or that 'if I had no choice but to recover then I would,' or that it was a 'lack of motivation.'

I was told that I needed to go to X event, and I could 'rest' or 'you can sit down when you get there.' Not realizing that even just getting there and having to socialize - even just sitting up - would cause me days of severe pain and exhaustion.

And not understanding that I couldn't be courteous - I couldn't bring this in from the kitchen, help make food or set the table, etc.

When I was fired from my job I was told it was 'great I had time to travel or pursue a hobby' - no, I was too sick to get out of bed.

It's an awful, life-limiting illness and disgusting that its very existence is still disbelieved. In studies, sufferers have been shown to have less quality of life than late-stage AIDS and cancer patients, but it gets less funding than hayfever.

Final score:

87points

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Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I've had ME/CFS for over twenty years. I rapidly went from running a marathon at 30 to barely being able to walk the dog. I'm part of a crowdsourced online research community where 13,000 of us share information about what does and doesn't work for us. The website is https://www.stuffthatworks.health/myalgic-encephalomyelitis. I strongly recommend it. The FDA has not approved any treatments for ME/CFS whatsoever, so it's only through networking with other patients that I've learned how to manage this disease.

10points

RecentRegister239 , Klara Kulikova Report

#21

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia. Just recently diagnosed but have been dealing with the pain and fatigue for years. I get a ton of judgement because my husband is “mr. mom” and takes on a ton of the parenting duties for our toddler, especially when we are out of the home. He doesn’t care - a) he’s an equal parent by choice, and b) it’s an agreement we’ve made, that with all of the energy it takes me to even get us out of the house and socialize…he primarily manages the parenting once we get there…but people see a dad being primary parent and the judgements are plain as day on their faces. My own mom used to make sideways comments implying that I was lazy, poor Bob (not his name hahah), but now I finally have a diagnosis and that’s stopped.

Final score:

84points

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Susie Elle 2 years ago

At least the comments have stopped after diagnosis. Aside from that, my sympathy, OP. It must be really hard.

28points

#22

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Well people don't necessarily get mad at me for it (well they probably do but don't show it) but having a stutter when I speak can sometimes make saying even the simplest of words/sentences can be very difficult at times for me, and it's even worse when I'm speaking to people who I don't really know too well

SammyCCFC , Jessica Da Rosa Report

Final score:

80points

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Helen Waight 2 years ago

And people decide to finish your sentences for you because ‘you’re taking too long’

39points

#23

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Asthma; the amount of times I get told something along the lines of "well my friend's cousin has asthma and they don't have that trigger so you should be fine".
I have really well controlled asthma but I avoid my triggers which is one of the reasons I have it well controlled and asthma is not a one fit all ailment.

Amaranth-13 , Sincerely Media Report

Final score:

80points

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RuthieT 2 years ago

My 5 year old was diagnosed with it last year. Gets sick with so many viruses from Kindy and now school. And allergies seem to be his trigger, so I feel your pain

22points

#24

Social anxiety. My mom complains that I never call, but I am actually scared of talking to people (yup, including family) and accidentally saying something stupid, or rude, or embarrassing, and therefore irreversibly ruining my reputation forever and becoming hated, despised or just a laughingstock for the rest of my life.

Worst thing is that, ironically, I actually enjoy talking to people

Shynosaur Report

Final score:

76points

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Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago

I have had this all my life , my parents have very understood. Told me I was by antisocial.(sorry if I am posting too much on here, but it help to get it out. Sorry)

26points

Carl__Gordon_Jenkins Report

#25

My wife completely broke her shoulder many years ago, detached tendon and everything. The surgery team said she was incredibly lucky to get mostly full range of motion back and she can now lift about 5 pounds or a little more if she's using "dinosaur arms." The other one ended up going kaput soon thereafter because it's a degenerative disorder and, to some extent, it's a compensatory injury.

Otherwise, she looks incredibly healthy. As a result, we keep encountering people who think she should be lifting things. At work, she was approved for a standing desk and they asked her to assemble it herself. It's ridiculous. When we go traveling or shopping, a lot of people end up giving her looks because I'm feminine and smaller than her and I end up carrying everything because she can't. I am happy to do it, but I know it bothers her.

I just wish people were more cognizant of hidden disabilities.

Final score:

75points

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Madeleine 2 years ago

“At work, she was approved for a standing desk and they asked her to assemble it herself.” This is absurd and maddening! Such ignorant and cruel people.

37points

#26

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Dyspraxia! Most people think I'm taking the p**s when some basic motor tasks are difficult for me. Or they assume I'm stupid. Not the case, no matter how hard I try, my brain just can't always process certain things. DIY is a big one. I wish I could do it and do it well but it is very sloppy and rough even with time, practice and effort.

I was late learning to swim, late riding a bike without stabilisers and have an awkward posture and gait. It could be quite embarrassing. It's not as bad these days, I'll be 30 next year so I've had time to either adapt things to the way I do them or figure things out. I used to "get stuck" in the loft if I had to go up there. Climbing up the ladder was fine, down, difficult for me.

Some people assumed autism, which is not the case for me, though it's in my family.

a-jm93 , Ethan Sykes Report

Final score:

71points

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KristinW 2 years ago

My 17 daughter has a form of Dyspraxia, it's not an easy condition to live with.

12points

#27

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have chondropathy since my mid-20s, so running, jumping, using stairs, standing in uneven grounds or kneeling has been quite painful since then.

I don't have enough fingers to count the amount of times I've been denied the use of an elevator or received death stares when sitting on a full bus because... I'm young and thin so... I'm obviously lying or something?

LTKerr , Lindsay Henwood Report

Final score:

65points

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Batwench Premium 2 years ago

For those who have never heard of this, such as myself - chondropathy: disease of cartilage.

29points

#28

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have Borderline Personality Disorder--first I have to make them understand BPD is not bipolar disorder. And I have to constantly prove to them that I am a decent person. They don't believe me when I tell them that therapists have bailed out on me after my diagnosis even though they helped me through my OCD and I don't understand why except they believe that people, especially women with BPD are 'crazy bi**hes' (ableist term istg).

And there are literal subreddits and blogs demonising people with BPD--a mental illness doesn't make a person act bad, that is ableist to suggest so, a person's choices make a person act bad. You cannot s**t someone for being hypoempathetic but you can s**t on someone who chooses to be unempathetic. But I have a hard time making my friends and family understand that. They still routinely use psychopath and narcissist to describe someone doing something bad.

People have it easier when it comes to recognising red flags but since I have such a black and white mentality--it is very difficult--I see red flags when there aren't any and miss red flags entirely and people act like I am stupid but I just cannot--judge. I am trying to figure things out though--it will just take me more effort than most of those who don't have what I have.

They don't understand how--I struggle to have a grip on reality but it doesn't mean I have multiple personalities or trying to spite them--I genuinely cannot and then their reaction just strengthens the dissociation.

And after the Amber Heard case and the psychologist suggesting she has BPD and HPD--it just---worsened people's perception of these mental illnesses--I don't know why people attach mental illnesses to bad behaviour--how will that help anyone heal?

Also the understanding of BPD is so obviously on the pov of people who don't have BPD and have to 'deal with' BPD so the condition is very misunderstood hence the stigma. Thanks to it, everyone thinks it means I am clingy and have abandonment issues and I just--I can't. BPD is beyond that and I personally think the worst thing is the dissociation, the broken memories, the paranoid ideation, the loss of identity, the f****n pain and what not.

However, I am getting better. I catch myself and recognise my differences and find ways to navigate the world while respecting it. It helps me accept and heal. I wish I could find a therapist though...

neuroticfledgling , Kayla Koss Report

Final score:

63points

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KombatBunni 2 years ago

Oh hugs for you! I was only diagnosed with it a few months ago and I’m still learning to recognise if something is a genuine emotion or is it BPD. My daughter has it as well and knowing that makes me feel so bad. We can barely be around each other sometimes and it breaks my heart. Therapy is helping but it’s slow going.

25points

Autistic McWolferson the Third 2 years ago

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Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago (edited)

BPD diagnosis here too. It's difficult seperating out what's normal and not normal, what's reality and what's not, who you are and who you're not. I'm 8 years into my diagnosis and getting there, slowly. It's a long rough road but it does get easier!

10points

Seule Forever 2 years ago

I feel you! I have BPD too, diagnose as an adult, but certain that I had it since I was a child, but it was always misunderstood for me being difficult or weird or depressed, etc. Luckily my mother and my sister are really understanding!

8points

Becky Samuel 2 years ago

This is a difficult one. BPD, NPD and psycopathy are genuine conditions, but the people who have these conditions often leave a trail of chaos and psychological destruction behind them. It's very hard not to judge when someone is standing in the street outside your house at 3am screaming blue murder about something they imagined that you did. And believe me, that's only one of the less damaging incidents.

7points

AR 2 years ago

Exactly. Thanks to my mom having NPD, I don’t trust people with personality disorders. Mental illnesses I can handle as I have bipolar 2, but personality disorders I don’t have the spoons for in my life anymore. I’m almost 40 and still in therapy for what my mom did to me.

1point

Rens 2 years ago

I have BDP too, diagnosis and adult but I've had it my whole life and I can trace it back to parental neglect. Amazon the autism spectrum which is why it was pretty much left to my own devices and not giving much love, support and guidance. My BDP is managed now quite well but I still have times where it rears its ugly head

5points

Rens 2 years ago

I am dictating my messages and slurring my words so I apologise in advance for the typos

3points

Lisa H 2 years ago

God, I can relate so much. My ex accused me of being a narcissist and broke up with me shortly after I told him about my diagnosis. Everyone I know keeps me at a distance. No one wants to get close to me. I now have a very hard time trusting people as a result. I wonder if I should just keep my diagnosis a secret just so people will feel safe around me, even though they have no reason not to. I hate this disorder with every fiber of my being.

5points

B C 2 years ago

Same. I'd share with only trusted individuals. It's really a need to know share. I've learned to keep people at an arms length to maintain healthy relationships. I really only have one good friend that doesn't let me push her away and will always stay close and understanding. She's a friggin' saint, lol.

3points

Borderline Writer 2 years ago

Stay strong! I feel you.

5points

B C 2 years ago

BPD here as well. Amen. I wasn't diagnosed until this last year after I finally found a good therapist. I had been seeing her for a breakup involving narcissistic abuse and she recognized what I had going on. Rather than deny me, she took me and I've been working with her the last 8 months. Everything here. Everything you've said. It's something that I cannot explain or describe to anyone other than those who love me and/or who have known me in my 40 years. The black and white thinking is so difficult to work around. Empathy is a struggle. Positive thought does not come naturally, it takes a lot of effort and is exhausting. It's impossible to explain how it feels to live like this and some days I'd rather not but that's not an option. Good luck, hon. We need it.

3points

Janique P 2 years ago

If you haven’t already, see if you can find a therapist specialising in dialectical behaviour therapy (preferably one recommended by their patients). They are - or at least should be - specifically trained in understanding BPD, and the evidence shows that DBT is one of the most helpful treatment modalities. Best of luck finding a good therapist!

2points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Insert my overwhelmingly enthusiastic rec for the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This is why so many of us bring Rachel Bloom our prescription bottles to sign.

1point

boredkoala 2 years ago

Such a great show!!!!

0points

Jonahs Mrs 2 years ago

A family member I love greatly is suffering with BPD and directed me to places I could find info on this illness and honestly once I had had finished reading my heart hurt, as I realised just how utterly exhausting getting through a "good" day must be and how much it takes to get through new situations and meeting new people. Strength and love to you if you are dealing with this illness x

0points

Lyoness 2 years ago

The media has played a huge role in how society views mental disorders. If you believe the movies all schizophrenics see ghosts, everyone with bipolar disorder is Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde and all people with BPD are abusive a$$holes. The stigmas are real. I appreciate your post. More people need to know these things.

0points

Penny Kemper 2 years ago

So you all are saying BPD is emotions from stress, not really emotions. I personally think most people are BDP, honestly. And people only call it crazy until they do the same thing. I also feel stressed when dealing with people who have that bad energy. You want me to be nice and easy going don't stress me out.

0points

Boerenhond 2 years ago (edited)

If some narcissists bully you and you get mad, in the sense that you really flip out and yell, you're a crazy borderliner. You have to be always perfectly calm and friendly, else noone takes you serious and they think you're insane and dangerous. I have learned to stay calm at all times and then they take you serious and don't bother you anymore.

1point

#29

I have erythromelalgia which causes severe pain in my lower leg and feet. This along with several other underlying issues in my feet make it extremely painful to walk some days. I get a lot of “just wear better shoes” or “use an insert” because people just assume it’s something I can just make go away. I’ve tried literally everything and it hurts no matter what I do or wear. My only option is pain management with medication.

I also live with very “high functioning” depression and low grade anxiety. And I get a lot of “you’re not depressed! You’re so outgoing and active” What people fail to realize is, when I’m off the clock, I’m completely exhausted from being “switched on” all day long.

padi_cake Report

Final score:

62points

POST

Kurtis Cobainus 2 years ago

So true about the second part. I don't have depression but that's what so many people think. Depressed people have two modes. Outside and happy, inside and sad

15points

#30

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have a serious back condition caused by a prolapsed disk damaging the nerves in my lower back. I often ask co workers to lift things for me, I get especially weird looks for light items that are close to the floor. This is made worse by the fact that I'm a 6'3 250lb well built man

automatorsassemble , Afif Kusuma Report

Final score:

61points

POST

Ren Karlej 2 years ago

Yep, have this problem. My elderly mother would pick things up in shops if I knocked anything to the floor and open heavy doors for me. Looked awful but she was fitter than me!! Never assume you know what's going on with people.

38points

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#31

I have fibromyalgia and people do not understand that sleep alludes me due to pain and that sudden weather changes leave me in agony. I look normal but never stop hurting. Trying to do everyday tasks can leave me exhausted.

Final score:

42points

POST

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

People also don't understand that fibromyalgia has its ups and downs. One day, I might be able to handle laundry, dishes, cooking, showering, etc. The next day, getting out of bed is painful and difficult. Sleeping is a crapshoot at best; my nights are more like a series of light naps than a full night's sleep. Weather changes completely derail plans, as does unexpected stress.

11points

#32

Anxiety. Sometimes you want to stay away from people and not go out. My family takes it personally.

SilverstoneOne Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago

I know this feeling too

9points

#33

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have autism, ADHD and a pretty severe anxiety disorder. One relative got extremely mad at me for getting onto disability because their friends weren't able to get disability support for their autistic kid, because apparently this child looks more autistic than I do. Even leaving aside the huge amount of effort and support I needed to get where I'm at, or the way autism is a spectrum, *or* the way my ADHD and anxiety are the things that really render me nonfunctional... I agree that it's too difficult to get disability support, and those people *should* be able to get help? Sorry I don't look autistic enough on good days and stay home on bad days, I guess?

Pseudonymico , Elsa Tonkinwise Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Madeleine 2 years ago

The relative has a crabs-in-a-bucket mentality. It’s something ignorant people (in the US, at least) often have about workers’ pay and rights as well, and here it is about disability benefits, another financial benefit. It’s too common and very destructive. It keeps solidarity out of reach, which only benefits the people who profit from inequality and from the lack of support for working class people. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

10points

#34

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Bipolar. I need to keep my stress levels as low as possible and I need a lot of sleep because my hypomania can be triggered by stress or lack of sleep. I also have to have specific meals on specific times of the day because of my meds. I also have ADHD and can't take most medications for it due to my bipolar. Oh, and I have to stay away from grapefruit, activated charcoal, and natto because of how they cause me to metabolize my meds.

twitchy_taco , Simran Sood Report

Final score:

35points

POST

rennie roo 2 years ago

I have the same, but I used to lovelovelove grapefruit :,(

3points

#35

I have centralized vertigo, which is in the brain- not ears. Regardless of whether I am sleeping or awake, everything rotates. Even with meds I am usually dizzy and nauseous.

Sometimes just changing my sleep position from back to side can take a 1/2 hour and getting out of bed can take hours depending on how "fast" the spin. Trying to walk a straight line is even worse, even with a cane or walker and I often need to stop and rest. So you can imagine how long it might take me just to sweep a floor or wash dishes.

When people find out it's vertigo, they offer me medical advice that works for vertigo caused by crystals in the ears. Balance therapy doesn't work, yes I have tried...multiple times. Did you try losing weight? Yes try exercising when any movement makes you want to vomit. I take this med... Yes I take 5 different meds just to manage the vomiting.

On rare occasions, I do have days where I look normal (body doesn't noticeably rotate) and dizziness/nausea is manageable and I may go grocery shopping, go for a walk, or go to the movies. What they fail to realize is typically after those rare days, I may be in bed the next day or two with my vomit bucket next to me because I did "normal" things.

yep-MyFault_Again Report

Final score:

35points

POST

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago (edited)

I had a similar s**t happen to me once i went to bed fine, woken up at 4am to go to the bathroom the entire Room was spinning and i had the felling i was falling, like a free dive, luckely my SIL is a doctor and told me that was just my vestibulary system " acting up " because i genuinly though i was having some sort of Stroke at the time, luckely it only lasted 3 hours, o still get Dizzy sometimes but its easily controlable with pills, but its a f-ed up thing, it literally debilitates you to the point of not being able to just stand up.

6points

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#36

I'm an alcoholic, don't know if that counts as a medical condition. I don't drink (or I'm trying not to) but if I have even a sip of beer it's f*****g game over for at least 5 to 7 days. It's crazy. I know on some level it's a choice so I'm choosing not to drink at all now. Everyone of my friends just thinks I enjoy getting wasted but it's really not fun the f*****g state I get into.

Epatubiq Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

Yes, it's a medical condition. You're a total badass for choosing not to drink. My father and two uncles had alcoholism, and they didn't make your choice. I wish they had. I have a friend who has been off the booze for years now, and her life is so much better than it was before. Hats off to everyone working on their sobriety! I can't imagine how tough it is, and I have so much respect for people like you who are making the tough choices.

17points

#37

Moderate depression. When you're having a low and everything looks like a mountain it doesn't take long for family to tell you to pull yourself together.

Now_Villager Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Oliver Coine 2 years ago

And/Or your family tries to "fix" you because they don't like seeing you "sad" so you're just kinda stuck being fake happy until they're also satisfied.

6points

#38

I have Polymorphous light (PML) eruption. Basically I’m allergic to the sun. If I’m outside for even 15 minutes I’ll start breaking out in these itchy, burning bumps on my hands, arms and legs. I get horrible headaches and nausea. I get a lot of s**t for not wanting to go outside or do outdoor activities. My friends and family tease me a lot and I just roll with it most of the time. My maternal grandma has it and so does my mom. We’re all affected by it differently. I seem to have the most sensitive skin of us all. I unfortunately can get the outbreak just by being next to a window. It’s not fun! It’s so itchy and very easy to make these bumps bleed and burn. I get teased a lot because of the cloud of sunscreen I leave in my path lol but I gotta do what I gotta do!

Velvetpawss Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Pumpkin Spice 2 years ago

Oof. How can your family be so insensitive (ha) if your mom AND grandma have it??

12points

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#39

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Diabetes (type 1, but I know a lot of type 2 people can relate). Eating is hard and my parents often got frustrated with me when I was living with them for how I took care of myself (or didn’t) and whether or not I checked my sugar on time (and if it was high) AND my insulin calculations. Un/under-educated friends and family are notoriously bad about “can you eat that?” comments and make a lot of comments about my body as well. If you’re not skinny with type 1, it’s an automatic assumption you have type 2. If you’re skinny with type 1, it’s confusion about how you can be skinny with diabetes (also: you can have type 2/insulin resistance and be a skinny or healthy weight; it’s very genetics based among other reasons). If I DO use diabetes as an excuse to not eat or partake in something, it leads to negativity and, you guessed it, them assuming you’re using it as an excuse. S**t, even doctors are bad about knowing how to treat type one unless they specialize in it; they’ll give you c**p for the most minute detail of your health w/type one if it’s not perfect. Diabetes ALSO comes with a massive list of potential comorbidities, including mental health issues. Dude, it’s so tiring to just survive with it.

nosyllaste , Klaus Nielsen Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Donna Clanclan 2 years ago

Hubby and a friend have those sensors which have an alert on their phone. I love that alert. It goes off every 5 minutes with no way to 'sleep' the timer for a half hour when it happens. They get annoyed; I get worried. Hubby more so than friend has a difficult time eating right. Poor impulse control, etc. has made it difficult for him. He thought it would be a great idea to make me the one who holds him accountable for his diet. It's only caused friction between us. Now that it's his phone that's nagging him it's much better. He does better sticking to his diet and there isn't that friction between us. He's had some doctors who were real pills about his diet. One ER visit put him in the hospital for 3 days. The doctor did tests and adjusted his insulin every 2 hours. Got his numbers right, told him to keep it that way, and release him. Never figured out what caused the symptoms that sent us to the ER. 3 weeks later, it happened again. It was his kidneys failing.

1point

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#40

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I very recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and also have pseudotumor cerebri. It's very vexing to explain that it's really hard to do enough cleaning to get by or even make a phone call when so much time is spent resting. Half of my family never talks of any of it as anything other than laziness when speaking to just me. In public, of course, everyone is more supportive.

Psacey , athan Dumlao Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I wonder if you have ME/CFS in addition to fibromyalgia. The telltale sign of ME/CFS is six months or more of feeling exhausted after any exertion -- physical exertion, cognitive exertion, emotional exertion, you name it. You can find out more about the diagnostic criteria here: https://www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/healthcare-providers/diagnosis/iom-2015-diagnostic-criteria.html. (I have fibromyalgia and ME/CFS. Many sufferers have both.) I'm sorry half of your family doesn't understand your diagnosis. I've been able to educate about half my family members, but others remain baffled and judgmental. They were like that before I got sick, though.

3points

#41

It's well established in my family that I have pretty severe memory loss. Not just short or long term, generally memories either dont form properly or they turn into a 'void' of nothing after a few minutes/years.

So they'll tell me something to 'remember for me' and when I've forgotten it hours later I'll get a lecture of some kind. But if I write it down they take it as an insult? Which f***s me right off. It's been a problem since early childhood. My mother liked telling me it was 'selective memory loss' and punished me for it often until a psychiatrist told her I wasn't lying.

NocturnalFuzz Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Pumpkin Spice 2 years ago

Little f**k of a mother. May I just....*puts on boxing gloves*

16points

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#42

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. I'm in constant pain, my joints always feel like they're on fire, I'm regularly sore/stiff, and having suffered from them for a long time without any medical treatment (on Medicaid and I've not been able to get into specialists to get treatment since my diagnosis), and it regularly makes it difficult to do even the most simple of tasks, leaves me tired all the time, caused severe depression, etc. I had roommates that complained that I wasn't doing my share around the house/socializing enough. I tried to explain multiple times that my medical conditions made it virtually impossible for me to do the things they were expecting of me, especially on the level that they were wanting. I cleaned up after myself, cleaning the dishes I used, putting them away, stuff like that. Sometimes it was a day or two later, but I always did so. It'd take a lot out of me to do so. They'd get mad I wouldn't do all the dishes, clean the bathroom regularly (despite my telling them I physically couldn't clean certain things like the tub or toilet the way they wanted it clean because of my joint pain, and offering to clean what I could if the roommate I shared it with cleaned the other things), and cleaning up the living room, den, and garage, despite never using any of those three places as unless I had work (which I had to force myself to go to which took almost all my energy to to do, because no income, no way to pay bills), I basically only left my room to go to the bathroom, or make food/get a drink. It got to the point where it caused a huge fight right before our lease ended, and all 3 of them said they wished me the best, but that they wanted nothing to do with me going forward, including the one roommate that I was close friends with at the time. It broke my heart that they couldn't be more understanding, and that they expected me to do more than I reasonably should have had to do, even factoring out my medical issues.

zeiaxar , Ephraim Mayrena Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I have fibromyalgia too. The pain is almost impossible for able-bodied people to understand. I'm going to write this comment on all the posts about FM: please consider looking into low-dose Naltrexone. I did, and it's the only reason I've been able to survive. You typically have to get it from a compounding pharmacy, and in the US, insurance doesn't cover it. But it moved my pain from screaming unholy hell down to "OK, it hurts, but I can cope." Important links: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3962576 and https://ldnresearchtrust.org.

2points

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#43

I have a bunch of medical issues, but let's start with the one I was born with- a hip deformity.

The only visible sign is that my feet angle outwards, but it causes me a lot of lower back/leg/ankle joint pain. I can't stand or walk for a significant amount of time, can't ride a bike or skate (because my hip joints won't move that way), etc.

Most people just assume I'm lazy because I'm fat. Not wanting to walk, take stairs, need a seat on the train, etc. But I'm often in a lot of pain. The pain from these daily activities makes it virtually impossible to exercise, which is probably a factor in why I'm fat to begin with.

Add to that PCOS (which almost always leads to diabetes, according to my endocrinologist), diabetes, gout, mental health issues, hypothyroidism, and I'm just a barrel of fun! These are all genetic- I have the same conditions as each of my parents. It sucks.

shanabur329 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

AmAndA_Panda 2 years ago

People really don't understand how crappy hypothyroidism can be. The constant exhaustion and mood swings alone are such a pain and people just think you're lazy and bitchy.

8points

#44

ADD. People don’t realize that I forget to pick up after myself. I really put my mind to it, but when important things come up, I drop everything to focus on the task at hand and I need a couple minutes to regroup. In this meditative moment, it seems like everyone around me has to shame me that my papers are too cluttered and I should get on that straight away. It’s f*****g papers

BeautifulInfinite288 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

ADHD raptor 2 years ago

i can realate

5points

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#45

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them I have a cognitive disorder that makes it difficult for me to finish tasks at the same pace as others. People always get frustrated at me because they don't understand how I can spend 10+ hours on a task and still not finish it. It's hard because I'm the one that's the most upset about it but it reads the exact opposite to people. They can't see the internal struggle so they assume lack of results equals lack of effort and care.

SquilliamFancySon95 , Aleksandra Sapozhnikova Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Autumn 2 years ago

I wish they’d told us what it was. It’s sounds at least somewhat similar to what I have.

2points

#46

Sensory processing disorder. My parents use to hold me down to dress me and try to keep me safe when I was overwhelmed, so they know how difficult it is for me to do things and are very understanding. But teachers and friends are less understanding because they haven't lived with me, they don't know how much s.p.d. has affected my ability to function.

Front_Row_5967 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I have this too. I have trouble with the sense of touch. Apparently I had it even as a baby, because my mother once took me to the pediatrician at age one and told him that I didn't like the lumps in baby food. As a three-year-old, I would take my shoes and socks off because the pressure was uncomfortable. I invented the word "bunchy" to describe things that were physically unpleasant, like being crammed into a snow suit. To this day, I don't wear shoes and socks around the house, because the pressure makes my brain shriek at me. Silk pillowcases are my friend.

10points

#47

I have agoraphobia alongside other mental health issues, the front-runner being complex-PTSD.
My husband frequently becomes very frustrated with me because of how terrified I am to go out into public, especially when I’m alone. When I say that I can’t, it means that I really, truly can’t. The feeling that comes over me is entirely crippling, suffocating, and unbearable. Times that I’ve tried to break this, I’ve ended up sitting in the parking lot for 20 minutes and driving back home.
I haven’t met another person who has the same issue as me, so it’s a very vulnerable thing for me to post here.

prestigious_butt Report

Final score:

21points

POST

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

It shouldnt be, everyone has phobias, my SIL hás aracnophobia lol, She literally hás a panic attack if She sees a Spider, no matter how small or harmless it os, i met a woman once that had fobia of birds ( don't recall the techical name ) i almost crashed my car because of it, She was " riding shotgun " with me and a pigeon flown thrue the Window of the Passenger side, She started screaming in Panic and weaving her arms like if the pigeon was trying to kill her, i almost crashed, i have hydrophobia if i go to a pool neck deep, life is good, if i go to the beach waist deep i start having a panic attack. Phobias are nothing to be a shamed of.

7points

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#48

I have Ankylosing Spondylitis, which is arthritis in the spine, and so 99% I'm parking in the handicap at work and any where else I go because it hurts like a mofo, I also have arthritis in the knees, same pain level and I'm sure I get the judging eyes from strangers because they see someone who looks normal, just being lazy, when they don't see the amount of pain I'm in. So, I understand

Dry-Ad5762 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Odile Wipp 2 years ago

My partner has this in combination with other issues and it is so hard to see him in constant pain. He cannot sit, stand or sleep in one position for long and when he wakes up in the morning he needs so much time with a heater on his back to loosen it up to a point where he can just move. He has tried to explain it to people, but they just go blank, not caring, and suggest stupid stuff for him to do as if a bit of stretching will cure it.

4points

#49

30 People With Non-Obvious Illnesses Share The Reasons People Get Mad At Them Visual impairment or hearing impairment can be hidden. It's a spectrum and while people presume you're either 100% blind, deaf or "perfect" there are 100,000s who fall somewhere in the middle where they can do some tasks but not others.

We have issues with some family feeling sure anyone who wears glasses are VI, yes except glasses correct their vision, where as someone legally blind or who identifies as VI glasses do not correct their vision

niamhweking , Nathan Dumlao Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Justme 2 years ago (edited)

I have an auditory processing disorder where I basically can’t hear 2 things at once. My dear husband of 10 years either forgets this or doesn’t believe it and constantly talks through movies and shows. He gets mad at me when I’m constantly hitting pause and asking him to repeat himself. 2 people speaking at once is just noise to me and I can’t comprehend either one.

5points

#50

Misophonia mixed with Autism here. Can't eat with other people, so I go to another room when I eat.

Sea-Airport8480 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Autistic apricot 2 years ago

I cannot stand people eating so I go in another room and get told off instead

5points

#51

I have arthritis (both regular and Ankylosing Spondylitis) Hashimoto's, and Sarcoidosis, and so it hurts to stand, sit, lay, hard to breathe and I'm constantly tired

To strangers I'm probably a lazy bum who doesn't need an inhaler if needed (I use my wife's because she doesn't use it often like she should), shouldn't park in the handicap and shouldn't be napping or I should say people I know who doesn't understand and strangers

Dry-Ad5762 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

#52

I have a level of cognitive impairment and find that I can't drive anymore. I'm too easily distracted and I can get lost in my own neighborhood, so it's just too dangerous.

My family finds it inconvenient when I ask for rides, so they ask me to explain it. Again. (sigh...)

Xylorgos Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Hey! 2 years ago

I usually don't recognize my own house so I use a GPS all the time if I'm driving alone. I worked at the same place for 12 years and still got lost if I didn't pay attention to the exit names, same with going to the same doctor for 18 years. I was late once and the doc still took me in but asked why I was late. When I explained I got lost he asked why I wasn't lost all the other times. Easy, my husband usually brings me to all my appointments.

6points

#53

I have a connective tissue disease (undifferentiated). The fatigue that I feel everyday has led me to quit doing things that had me go out in the evening. People kept asking me when I was coming back and didn't seem to understand that the fatigue can be crippling and I really need to rest, so going out at night is mostly out of the question unless I can sleep the following morning. I just stopped explaining and talking about it altogether.

Blisolda Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Whodathunkit 2 years ago

I am at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota USA with my 17 yo daughter who has this...and POTS, amplified musculoskeletal pain syndrome(AMPS), anxiety and depression. There is hope. Look up "central sensitization". It's interesting. See if you can find a program or clinic that treats your condition. We are currently attending the Pain Rehab Clinic. It's a three week program. As a mom, I am learning so much!

10points

TheEnigmaShew-xbox Report

#54

I have Borderline Personality Disorder, MDD, GAD, a panic disorder, I think I may have C-PTSD and possibly be on the autism spectrum (but haven’t been tested for ASD).

Because of the way I was raised (religious, Asian, military house) when I get upset I stop talking; I shut down and almost lose the ability to talk…? My ex and I would get into fights and he would be yelling at me upset and I would just not even be able to make myself say “I don’t know what to say” or “I can’t talk about it right now”. He would think I was giving him a silent f**k you when really my brain was shutting down.

lustful_livie Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#55

Anything involving bleach or heavy detergents i have chemical exposure from Desert Storm... And my father thinks i just dont like to clean. I clean just not with those.

Final score:

18points

POST

Hey! 2 years ago

Bleach and heavy detergents are not the only cleaners around. I don't use them myself. He must be old to think bleach is the thing to use. I'm almost 60 but my mother used to use heavy stuff like muriatic acid to clean her bathtub.

3points

#56

I have chronic iritis- inflammation in the eye. It’s random, switches between the two. At first I didn’t realize I had it until an optometrist asked me why I had scarring/damaged pupils. Stuck on my left side after a bad flareup that left me temporarily blind and out of work overnight- it was noticeable at the time as my eye was bloodshot. I still deal with after effects- my vision will randomly become white/blurry on and off. I don’t drive, at work people will try to hand me something and i’ll stare at it bc I don’t have depth perception, or they think i’m ignoring them when I really can’t see that day. Now that it’s not physically noticeable, I have to warn people and i’ve heard a few comments that i’m making it up to get out of things. In reality i’m walking around with 50% of my vision being this giant white void.

dylandbloom Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago

My mom has this, along with uveitis, retinitis and noduler sclerosis...Damn, I hope I didn't butcher those words. Her vision has slowly gotten worse since I was born. She can see light and dark but that's about all.

3points

#57

Not leaving my apartment. 😔
I suffer from an eating disorder and one of my symptoms is agoraphobia. This coupled with severe anxiety makes things difficult.

PinkPrincessJKG Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Helen Waight 2 years ago

Eating disorders mess you up, and a lot of people seem to think they are something only teenage girls get. Or it’s ‘for attention’. They don’t realise just how many things in life they make extremely difficult.

9points

#58

Autism, ADD, depression, and poor memory recall (though that last one might not count as a medical condition lol).

The amount of times I've gotten yelled at by my mother because of my disabilities and disorders...well, let's just say that if I were given $1 for every yell, I'd be one of the richest people in the country before I turned 18.

Coworkers have been a little more understanding, thank God. And all my friends are disabled, so I feel more at ease with them.

But yeah. I've tried educating my mother about autism in particular to absolutely no avail because she is just too *stubborn* and just doesn't get what it's like as a neurotypical person.

DidDunMegasploded Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Autistic apricot 2 years ago

I hope your mother will learn and be a bit more understanding to you and your autism

7points

#59

More of a mental medical condition but I have several anxiety disorders and a restrictive eating disorder. The easy task people usually get mad at me over is eating in public. They want to do something and think it’s fun but for me it’s very much not fun and is instead panic inducing and takes days of working up to.

AnxiousnessAlways Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#60

Eating. I don’t have the funds to get an official diagnosis but I’m pretty sure I’m autistic and have ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). I cannot eat a lot of things due to a bad reaction to the texture, taste, smell, and/or appearance of the food item in question. I will gag and instinctively spit the food out like I’m Gordon Ramsay eating a nasty dish on his shows lol. I get called childish and told that as an adult I shouldn’t be gagging and spitting out food, and I need to eat better because I have chronic health issues so I should suck it up and eat the food that literally makes me sick.

I also have a bad gag reflex in general where I’ll choke kind of and nearly vomit if I have anything on or around my neck or throat. It’s so bad that I can’t wear those capes at the salon or I’ll vomit. I’m told I’m childish for this issue as well. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve got a lot of health issues that combine into a giant mess (me lol), and those problems make it difficult for me to do much of anything besides just sitting somewhere. I have chronic fatigue linked with fibromyalgia and have a lot of trouble making myself food because I’m tired and hurting and can’t focus. Our air fryer sees a *lot* of use from me since it’s lower effort, but I often feel too bad to use that even (plus it’s less healthy food). And when I ask for help it’s apparently that I’m lazy or selfish or inconsiderate. 🙄

hotaru-chan45 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Wanita Wobble 2 years ago

Identifying with 90% of your post - even med prof are dismissive of the texture avoidance or the strong gag reflex - it's crippling and I'm so sorry but to know I'm not alone is awesome.

2points

#61

I'm a type 1 diabetic (since age 11) & also have rheumatoid arthritis (since I was 6 or so when it was juveniles arthritis). I was a Theatre major in college and on the way to a rehearsal once my blood sugar plummeted. I was driving so I had to pull into the nearest fast food place and get a sweet tea so I could sip on it for a few minutes in the parking lot then keep going. I texted the stage manager while I was in the drive through line & explained what was happening. Luckily I wasn't far from the school so I wasn't horribly late. When I arrived I put my stuff down & took a few more seconds to drink my tea & catch my breath (sometimes low blood sugar makes your heart beat fast). The stage manager was immediately like "go ahead and join everybody else up on the stage". Yes... I will. As soon as I don't feel like I'm going to lose consciousness anymore. At the next school I transferred to, they told me to come to a rehearsal for stage combat (after I'd just had knee surgery a few days prior & wouldn't be participating in any of the fight scenes in the show for obvious reasons) because they wanted everyone to be able to "speak the same language" of stage combat. I had to go and just sit there with my knee all wrapped up in uncomfortable theater seats just to watch everyone else rehearse said fight scenes. With my already present joint issues, that just wasn't a fun time for me. In one retail job I had, I had to hide in the bathroom to eat a quick snack when my sugar would start going down because the owner acted like you were personally stealing out of her pocket if you slowed down at all.

Instances like that (and many others) made me embarrassed to disclose my auto-immune issues to anyone. I tried to learn to power through blood sugar lows, spikes, extreme joint flare ups, etc... because I didn't want to be looked at differently. I didn't want "special treatment" when I really did need accommodations. People just couldn't grasp that, even though I was very young, these issues were still very real and (at times) debilitating. I was afraid of a boss or professor getting mad at me if I just couldn't keep up. For that reason, I would tell them, "By the way I have type 1 & arthritis, but I don't use it as an excuse!" just to reassure them that I wouldn't allow my blood sugar or chronic pain to inconvenience *them*. It's been exhausting at times. I'm learning to become less embarrassed because I know that I can't help that my body likes to attack itself, but hiding it became such a learned behavior... that I'm going to have to unlearn it.

happyhomeresident Report

Final score:

15points

POST

boredkoala 2 years ago (edited)

T1D here too...powering through bad blood suagrs is an almost daily task when youre working and it is so exhausting. Most people dont understand that you're not only "sick" while your bg is out of range (which could be a long time if trying to fight an unexplained high) but there is a significant recovery period...i think of it as a blood sugar hangover. Solidarity!

1point

#62

Due to a genetic condition, my left eye is nearly useless. So, just looking left, especially in the context of driving or traffic in general, is needlessly complicated. I'm sorry Mr. Instructor that I have to turn my head like an owl to even see what the f**k is to my left.

CynicalNyhilist Report

Final score:

14points

POST

ADHD raptor 2 years ago

same for be but with my right eye i can relate :)

1point

#63

Pretty much everything. I have autism, and prolly some other undiagnosed things that make it extremely difficult to do tasks unless told to. And if I don't do it immediately after being told to, I will forget. I have to set constant reminders for even little things like taking my medicine or eating meals.

I also struggle with doing a full day's work. I work part time, and when it gets busy around the holidays and managers know to give me a day off to recharge if they put me to work for any more than 3 days in a row. Especially if it's a full 8 hr shift instead of the shorter 4 hr shift. Makes me feel terrible though that I'll be the last one in and the first one out each day...

Tignya Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#64

i have adhd, and this prevents me from forming genuine connections with neurotypicals because of forms of communication and how our brains work. i will tell people about this but they will constantly ignore that, and then get mad at me when i don’t show them the attention and energy that i give people with adhd. (though this is usually more of a personal issue with me) another thing is that my parents will go off on me for forgetting things (even though my father also has it)
aside from this i’m also hoh, my hearing is relatively well tho, but my parents constantly tell me how i have “selective hearing” or get pissed off whenever i don’t catch something that they had said

irlfemcel Report

Final score:

12points

POST

ADHD raptor 2 years ago

same

2points

#65

Back when I was in a day clinic for adolescents I'd get extremely overwhelmed by certain sounds (especially cutlery and crockery sounds) to be point that it physically hurt. We were supposed to do different tasks at the day clinic, such as setting the table or loading the dishwasher. I physically could not stand doing those tasks some days, but was forced to do them by the clinic staff if not for the other patients who were on my side and came to my defence. I've been struggling with my hearing since I was a child and still do (I'm actually sick rn with my hearing impaired in one ear for the umpteenth time).

-skyhigh Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Maciej Zajaczkowski 2 years ago

Same here. This is called hyperacusis.

5points

Creative_Trifle1603 Report

#66

I have severe ADHD Ik it’s extremely common I only have the attention span part of it not the hyperactivity since there are 2 versions but I seriously have a bad issue with it any task that requires attention, even playing video games not to mention something that I’m not interested in doing my wife and my mother and people I’ve worked for have an issue with this I’ve been trying to get medication but I need too be diagnosed with it again because the hospital that diagnosed me originally back in the early 2000‘s when I was a young child lost the documents or something while they closed the place, I have problems driving I still haven’t gotten my license yet because I am scared of getting into an accident I don’t have a good education with having dyslexia ADHD and a single mother who never pushed me too do well in school I realized now I should have spoken up when I was younger but child and teen me just said f**k school I have a lot of people tell me i’m using it as an excuse to be lazy

Final score:

10points

POST

ADHD raptor 2 years ago

i also have severe adhd im sorry for you but usuly people are like "no your just lazy or oh you have adhd? lots of people have that your super common" LIKE SHUT UP SHARON NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINIAN ON MY MEDICAL CONDITION

3points

#67

Talking.

I'm autistic, and trans.

I can speak, but speaking causes my brain to scream at me, a combination of bad sensory input and dysphoria, so I don't like to. Problem is, everyone gets pissy when I don't talk and just want to communicate through writing. They claim that since I'm not one of those "screaming baby autistics", I should talk fine and normally and nothing should actually be wrong with me. I agree there's nothing wrong with me, but they consider my desire for muteness to be something wrong, as well as a lot of other things.

itbedehaam Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Seedy Vine 2 years ago (edited)

When I speak loudly enough for people to hear, it hurts my ears. People accuse me of mumbling a lot. I would much rather stick to writing, too!

3points

#68

I have pretty bad anxiety, and I’m afraid to take medications for it and also not trusting enough to go to a talk therapist.

People give me a real hard time for both, and like to say im looking for attention. Actually im not..I was just tryna talk it out with someone I trust but okie, I’ll just crawl into bed for another three hour long nap in hopes I’ll wake up and just “get over it”

TheLovelyZane Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Madeleine 2 years ago

Refusing to see a psychiatrist and try medication is hard to understand. Either or both are necessary to treat some types of anxiety. It’s a condition that’s not going to go away on its own, and it’s also quite common and well-researched and well-understood among good psychiatrists.

5points

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

SpookyPanda 2 years ago

Deaf here... people who don't know I am deaf when I am in the community may think I am rude or or dumb because I didn't hear or understand them. People in general sometimes act like I am stupid (even though I have 5 degrees including a doctorate) or don't even want to bother trying to talk to me because it is too much work for them. My own family doesn't maintain contact with me because "It'S hArD tO tExT; I wish you could just pick up a phone and I can talk to you". Some people even think I am faking; my own step-daughter, who I have known since she was 5, thought I was faking. I don't think she realized I wasn't until she hit middle school. During COVID lockdowns and mask mandates, it was very isolating and anxiety-inducing because my mode of communication was blocked off. Deafness in general can be very isolating.

16points

Hey! 2 years ago

All my siblings and I can read lips. My father was deaf from one ear and could barely hear from the other. We aren't deaf but hard of hearing, thus reading lips. The masks do not help us at all. At least I can read my husband's lips no problem since we don't wear masks with each other. Being completely deaf is another matter entirely. Funnily enough, we like texting or emailing best.

6points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

I'm actually getting a sense of this, be it a tiny one. I moved to Sweden not too long ago and can't understand when people talk around me, as they mostly speak Swedish. It has made me feel more isolated. I can imagine how it feels not being able to hear any of the communication going on around you. You're family should just text you, I would find that a gift if I knew someone who was deaf. I'm sorry you have to deal with these struggles.

2points

AR 2 years ago

I’m sorry you deal with that, especially from your family. My grandma became progressively deaf starting in her 30s, so when I was born she wore hearing aids, used closed captioning (one of those old big boxes in the ‘80s), and I knew I had to face her and speak loudly for her to understand me. She also couldn’t easily use phones even with special handsets, so we communicated through letters and email (she never got into texting). I had no problem repeating things for her to try and understand, nor with moving my mouth carefully for her to read my lips. It’s really not hard to try and communicate with deaf people, it just takes a little longer. I hate that people act like it’s so inconvenient.

1point

Autumn 2 years ago (edited)

This seems slightly unrelated but I’m currently learning American Sign Language :) I hav no idea if that’s what you use but still

1point

Helen Waight 2 years ago

I’m disabled enough to get a parking permit, but not disabled enough to look it - except on the days I have to use walking aids. I’m also fat. The amount of times I’ve had people shout fatphobic stuff at me and tell me that I shouldn’t be parking there because ‘fat isn’t a disability’ and ‘if you lost weight you wouldn’t need that’ is a truly staggering amount.

15points

Something 2 years ago

The fatphobia/ableism combo is unfortunately extremely common. I've encountered those who rant against fat people using disability aids unprompted, seemingly unable to grasp the simple fact that someone can be both fat and disabled.

11points

Rens 2 years ago

Yes, I hear you! I'm fat because I'm sick, I'm not sick because I'm fat. I've been slim, underweight, the correct weight, and that's not made ANY difference to my Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS. I have mobility issues, I use a mobility scooter to have my independence, but I get the looks... I have put on quite a bit of weight because I can't excersise, my meds make me put on weight too. Ironically, I have almost no appetite, lots of food intolerances and aversions; I have IBS and feel very bloated after a meal; I eat small portions and eat 2 meals a day - drinking necessary fluids leaves me too full to eat... Fatphobia is real and it's disgusting the nasty way people behave.

4points

AR 2 years ago

I’m dealing with hip nerve issues and am also overweight. So far I haven’t be told anything to my face or heard anything, but I think my resting b***h face helps a lot. Plus I’ve prepared myself in case someone does say something, because screw them. I don’t like having to use motorized carts at stores to get around because they die all the time, but I need to get groceries. 🤷🏼‍♀️

1point

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago (edited)

I developed fibromyalgia in early 2021. I was already living with migraines, Crohn's disease, ME/CFS, and childhood PTSD, but fibro kicked my butt. All my nerves were screaming at me on a second by second basis. Think about the alarms that your nervous system gives you: itchiness, pain, banged-funny bone feeling, pins-and-needles, temperature swings, muscle tics, sensitivity to light and sound, chills, extreme tiredness, needing to pee, electric shocks. For me, these alarms were going off all the time. I found medical articles indicating that low-dose Naltrexone was helping people like me. I bombarded my rheumatologist with them. He didn't want to prescribe LDN, because the FDA hasn't approved it for fibromyalgia. Finally, after 15 months, I got a prescription. Now I still have the alarms, but the alarms are half as "loud" as they used to be. It's the difference between pure hell and a life that is livable. If you have fibro, please look into LDN and the UK's LDN Trust.

13points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

A friend with fibro says the same. I am so glad you got some relief! The cycles of fibro/depression is just not livable.

8points

The Blinking Duck 2 years ago

My husband has MS and is on a heavy duty immunosuppressant drug. When the pandemic was going on, my work was very understanding about meetings having a Zoom option and letting me work part time from home. Now they're saying the pandemic is "over" so everything should be back to normal. Not for us. I can't get him sick but people come in sick and I've been exposed to covid three times now. My boss said he's "over" Zoom so no more Zoom options for meetings.

11points

Seedy Vine 2 years ago

Sorry to hear that. Wonder if you can get a medical exemption to work from home? Or maybe a better boss?

6points

KK 2 years ago

TLDR: People need to be more understanding.

10points

Shane S 2 years ago

Psoriasis. It’s not unseen but it is stigmatized. Unless you have it, or know someone close that’s had it, it looks like diseased skin and I’ll admit it can look a little alarming in its worst forms. In support groups, sufferers say they’ve been told they have leprosy and no one wants to touch them or be around them- especially when it’s areas of the body they can’t hide. It’s NOT just dry skin that needs lotion. Nor is it a fungus. Truth is, it’s 100% non-contagious from an out-of-whack immune system. You can’t catch it under any circumstances. Genetics play a factor. And it’s extremely tricky to treat and usually incurable ( although people can go into states of remission.) Also, treatment is expensive, so if you don’t have public healthcare or private insurance, it’s not likely to achieve total remission. It makes a person completely uncomfortable in their own skin, literally.

10points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

my family gets it on our face. f*****g fantastic.

5points

TheDivineMsM 2 years ago

I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I know what my boundaries are, my comfort zones, my triggers are. I have learned how to work around those. When I say I don't feel well or am not comfortable doing something- I'm not being "dramatic" or "over sensitive" or "overreacting" or "hypochondriac". I know my limits, and I want to avoid going beyond them. I'm so tired of being shamed for this.

9points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Advocating for yourself in the middle of anxiety is so hard. So f*****g hard.

8points

Alexa Saltz 2 years ago

I have Multiple Sclerosis. I look normal enough, I can still stand up just not for long. I can zombie walk about 15-20 feet. I stumble and fall down a lot. My husband gets tired of trying to explain what is wrong with me. It makes him angry when people think I am exaggerating or faking it. So he started telling people I was a closet drunk. He can be pretty convincing. He has told people that I hide my alcoholism and will deny it or lie about it. The funny part is he did not tell me and had been doing this for several years. Finally I caught on to what had been going on. Now here is where it gets even more ridiculous - people we have known for a while now totally believe that I am a drunkard and when I try to explain that I really have MS they nod and smile not believing a word I've said. Now I just go along with it. I find it hysterical how many people are willing to accommodate an alcoholic but not so much someone with a progressive neurological autoimmune disorder

9points

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

Oh, Alexa. I'm sorry. You don't mention being annoyed at your husband for telling this lie behind your back, so I'm going to figure you're not. I'd be really annoyed, though. I know how difficult it is to get people to understand that you have a progressive autoimmune disease, and I empathize with your struggle. People often question my symptoms, and I'm constantly explaining what Crohn's, ME/CFS, and fibromyalgia are. Whether they believe me or not, I'm going to keep doing it, because I want them to be better informed the next time they meet somebody with an invisible disease. I don't want my doctors, family members, or friends to have the luxury of ignorance. Who knows, they may end up with an autoimmune disease themselves, so I'd just as soon have them learn now. You've already tried to explain MS to others, though, and because of your husband's alternative explanation, they didn't believe you. I can totally understand why you've given up on telling them.

6points

LittlePiggie 2 years ago

My husband is legally blind. Several times he's had someone get mad at him for his inability to see. One was a family member who got upset he didn't recognize his cousin (who he hadn't seen since they were children). Another was a nurse who caught an attitude saying he was lying about not being able to see. "I just can't believe you cannot see." She scoffed and walked off after doing the test. The doctor took one look at his cornea and confirmed he, in fact, has an eye condition that killed his vision. I cannot count the times someone has made snarky comments when finding out about his disability. They see a 6 foot 6 man that looks like a football (American) player and thinks he's lying. It's one of the reasons we left the church and distanced ourselves from family. It's heartbreaking to see him go through that, but I hug him tighter just the same. Hugs to everyone who deals with an invisible disability. ❤️

8points

Something 2 years ago

The stigma makes people think it's rare to have any of these conditions. In reality, a significant percentage of the population is suffering alone for no real reason.

8points

Amanda 2 years ago

I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, most likely developing it during the pandemic due to massive stress. I also don’t do pain killers often, it’s something I’ll normally ride out. Most days I stay in bed because I am always exhausted, and going out is more like a chore now, it’s mainly due to having a hard time walking. I can’t even tell y’all how many times I’ve gone to places and had people get pissed at how slow I walk. My knees take the worse of it, I don’t even do stairs anymore, and yes, I walk slow because not only do they hurt, I’ll lose my balance on top of it. I usually manage to step aside; but then I occasionally get the look because maybe they think I’m too young to be in this much pain. F**k em, it’s not my problem though.

8points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

One of my longtime friends was one of the youngest people diagnosed with fibro at her age, and another has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. The number of people who what to argue that you guys aren't experiencing the thing you're experiencing because you're "too young to have that!" is b******t. I'm so sorry, Amanda. I hope you'll find some care routines and relief that works for you soon.

7points

Justme 2 years ago

I’m curious - how many ADD’ers like me read this while you’re supposed to be working 😬

7points

Scarlett 2 years ago

I have (undiagnosed) depression and my mom refuses to believe it. She says I’m being lazy, a slacker, and a typical angsty teen, and that I need to grow the f**k up. I’m not lazy, I quite literally don’t have energy to move some days,

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

At this point, I think being a teen is just a constant state of depression and anxiety. The changes themselves would be overwhelming enough if, you know, the rest of the world wasn't exploding, too. Don't worry, Scarlett, your Gen X-ers out there went through similar social patterns in the 80s, questioning gender and identity while waiting for bombs to drop and our parents screaming at school board meetings. We made you a mix-tape to help, though. It's got lots of The Smiths and The Cure.

6points

Seedy Vine 2 years ago

I have an auditory processing disorder. I can't always make sense of spoken word. It annoys and exasperates those around me because they don't feel heard. People ask me all the time if I'm on drugs. I wish I could somehow tell others what's up with me before our conversations go south, but there never seems to be a good time to do that.

5points

Adan Adnan 2 years ago

I have misophonia and OCD. My mother is the only one who knows about my OCD. I have problems with anything non symmetrical (I don't care if a surface is organised or not it just has to be symmetrical), extreme germaphobhia u can Say. I think about everything that could go wrong, like if someone had sneezed on restaurant food etc. I have to look at locks repeatedly to be sure it is locked(we are Muslim and my ma says that we should have trust in Allah but it doesn't work like that) and I have depression, tonsils, broken ear drum, adenoids and an ear infection. My ENT is ruined. You know the worst part? I'm only 13

4points

Madeleine 2 years ago

That sounds very difficult. A tip that might help you with locks: Can you take a photo of it with your phone when you leave your house? I read about that as a suggestion for people who worry that they left the oven on when they go on vacation.

0points

Jknbt 2 years ago (edited)

what pisses me off is that they put a line item in the job application form where you are supposed to detail you health problems. This is not legal in the US, since federal labor laws say a worker's health condition is a private matter between the doctor & the worker. They expect you to list all health problems. If you mention depression, anxiety, or mild psychosis (whether managed by meds or not) on your application form, the HR manager will red-stamp your application as "disqualified due to disability". This is just plain wrong. With the meds they have available these days, workers can take Zoloft of Lexapro & cope satisfactorily with anything that will come up on the job. The labor market is so glutted these days that companies won't hire workers with health problems. This is wrong & unfair since it is none of their business in the first place. The working world has changed a lot... my sympathies, Gen-Z and Millennial workers trying to make it these days...

4points

AR 2 years ago

No one has to answer it.

0points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

While understanding has grown over the years, tolerance has not, and I've spent the last five years dealing with everything from PTSD to suicidal urges, thanks to what contemporary rhetoric has done to me and other "women of a certain age" recently. No, I am not crying "white woman tears" or being a "Karen" with "white fragility." I have anxiety, panic, depression, PTSD, and a lifetime of trauma I'm managing. Yes, there are racist, awful white women out there who voted for Trump and hate trans kids. Maybe wait and figure out if the white fifty-something woman you're confronting ACTUALLY is those things before you start screaming at us for loving Trump and being homophobic and racist, yeah? "Hurt people hurt people" is not acceptable, unless you're ready for me to return the favor.

4points

the 22nd pilot 2 years ago

I've got OCD; and nothing ticks me off more than people using it as a common term, like they do so often in everyday speech. When I was a child, I heard it everywhere...my teachers, my friends, even my parents jokingly referred to me as OCD when they witnessed my weird little mannerisms. I laughed along with them. But I'd been researching it on my own like crazy, sneaking books home from the library, checking medical articles...I spent weeks evaluating myself, and finally self diagnosed myself. I tried to tell my parents, but they just brushed it off. It got worse, until finally I told a really close friend, one who I trust. And then another friend. Soon, I had a circle of people around me, listening when I needed to rant, giving hugs and love, and best of all, taking time as I shattered their conceptions on what OCD really is. It's not perfectionism. I promise. It's living every day of your life in constant fear of breaking some unspoken rule and causing harm to something in the world

3points

the 22nd pilot 2 years ago

*I could tell it was joking because of how often they used it, and the tone in their voice, like they just threw it out there without knowing what it means---which they didn't, as seen from when I tried to tell them seriously about it

0points

UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago

Depression is a physical illness, not an emotional state. Endorphins, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine…these are neurochemicals that respond to AND dictate or influence our emotional states. I describe depression as “grief without actual loss.” When you feel like you can’t go on, that you can’t get out of bed, that you just don’t want to try anymore after losing a loved one is how you feel when you’re depressed. You could lose your spouse or your dog and just “choose” to go to work or to your friend’s barbecue, but it feels painful to do so. Physically painful. It’s endlessly frustrating for sufferers of depression to feel the same way for “no reason,” but it’s a real and sometimes debilitating physical feeling that will not go away if you just smile or try harder. None of us enjoy it, and few use it as an excuse when it would be so much more satisfying to just go about our lives without feeling like our stomach is a black hole and our heads weigh a thousand pounds.

3points

Bipolarbear. 1 year ago (edited)

This is an excellent description, thank you. You are exactly right. I have suffered from what I thought might be part partum desperation from my 3rd child, but once it reached over a year in duration, my family and I realized that that probably wasn't it. I now have been diagnosed bipolar 2, and suddenly my life makes a lot more sense. The reasons I reacted to certain things in certain ways, the debilitating depression that has worsened since a young age, the cyclical thinking, insanely high anxiety and insanely low self esteem... it sucks. I will say that I have tried the keto diet, initially to lose baby weight as pcos makes it very hard to lose weight without drastic measures, and the keto diet fixes something in my brain where I won't be under that black cloud of depression and I almost feel like a functioning human. I plan on staying on keto for a long time to see what happens. I usually fall off the wagon after a few months, but I've noticed my bipolar symptoms come back. Hard.

1point

Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago

Nothing diagnosed as of yet (going to see about this soon) but I have noticeable hearing issues. I always have subtitles on the tv and movies and sometimes I can't understand people when they don't speak loud enough (and some get annoyed that I speak TOO loudly). I get eyerolls when I ask people to repeat themselves and sometimes I want to go, "what do you want me to do?! Just nod my head and go along with it? I can't freaking understand what you're saying!" Some people just speak quietly but it's the people who act as if I'm asking for them to write down their words that irritate me.

3points

AR 2 years ago

My grandma was deaf and if people started to get annoyed or she simply couldn’t catch the words, she would just smile and shrug her shoulders as if it was the person’s problem, not hers.

2points

SealOfDisapproval 2 years ago

Chronic insomnia. I get a lot of well-meaning advice, but trust me: after 30+ years I have tried whatever it is you are about to suggest more than once. No, I'm not lazy, just very tired.

3points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

It's the worst feeling: being exhausted, but unable to sleep. I've found some help w/CBO and Delta 8, but that's not long-term sustainable, either.

-1point

Bittersweetie 2 years ago

I have a close relative that was born with only one kidney (discovered in an unrelated childhood ER visit). She's been harrassed because she can't/doesn't drink but can shut it down pretty quickly when she's feels like it. But some idiots still don't even get it or will even say she's lying.😅 What the hell? So dumb!

3points

Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago

I don't care if your organs are perfectly functional or not, if you don't want an alcoholic beverage I'm not going to push you. The most I might do is find out if this is a one time, I don't feel like it, or all the time I never drink thing so I know whether or not to offer in the future. There are lots of tasty beverages out there and alcohol is not needed for a good time.

2points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

I have a multitude of health issues, chronic pain, digestion issues, depression, anxiety, PTSD, trouble sleeping. It's all ruined my life. I think it's not so much people boldly saying things but the little ways they misjudge me. Not being able to help with chores, waking up in the afternoon, a friend was once surprised when I said I wished I wanted to work. Meaning she thought I just wanted to stay home without kids and have my husband support me. I would never ever want that, and felt like she misjudged my character. This happens on a regular basis. Plus I don't have a diagnosis for my physical health problems so I can't just tell people I have such and such disease and have them understand on any level. Even my father in law severely misjudged me when I began to date his son and my anxiety still shoots through the roof when I'm around him. I understand, it looks like what is looks like. I just wish I could show people the real me someday.

2points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

Also my pain is highly effected by my emotions. Meaning any bit of stress or anxiety can physically give me pain. I'll be pretty okay one second and then someone asks me to do something stressful and I'll have to say I can't. And it will just look like I'm being lazy and making up an excuse cause I'll have been laughing or something beforehand. There have been times I have "acted sick" so people will believe me. Cause when you have chronic pain or sickness you tend to stop visibly reacting to some of it. I've told people during visits "I'm in pain right now". And they are always surprised. I've even foregone helping with things the one time I feel good because they will be confused the next time I don't feel good cause it all looks the same to them.

1point

Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago

I'm partially face blind. I'm lucky. With enough time and repetition I can learn to recognize a face. There are people who are fully face blind and they can't recognize a photo of their own parent. Still hard when I run into a coworker I've known for years and I have no idea who this person is who obviously knows me.

2points

Lsai Aeon 2 years ago (edited)

I guess I'll start at the top... Pseudopapilledema of optic disc (my ocular nerves are squished a bit); virtually no short-term memory; Meniere's disease, both ears; Occipital Neuralgia; Spina bifida at C7; Celiac; Diaphragmatic hernia; Severe acid reflux with a giant hole in the lower esophageal sphincter; Ankylosing Spondylitis; Spinal Stenosis; Fibromyalgia; Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Syndrome; various vitamin deficiencies due to malabsorption; hypermobility. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user. And mom to a son with "Aspergers if it was still its own diagnosis" ADHD, Sensory perception disorder, celiac, seizure disorder and puberty. Puberty is what's kicking our butts, we figured everything else out. We have a lot of interesting fun at my house.

2points

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 2 years ago

I blame the fakers, the ones who do it for attention or auto-diagnose; the ones who missuse the correct terms, i.e. your're feeling sad after a dramatic movie, you're not depressed, you're just sad for a while, depression is a way more serious matter than that.

2points

Madeleine 2 years ago

People who think that those attention-seekers and those with small, inadequate vocabularies are somehow ambassadors for everyone with actual conditions are just as much at fault. Encountering someone who behaves that way isn’t a free pass to assume they’re representing a much larger group, or representing people who actually have those conditions.

0points

Cat Bessing 2 years ago

I have a Mast Cell disorder that, among other things, randomly triggers anaphylaxis even when no allergen is present. I've literally used a couple hundred epi pens over the years and have serious reactions that stop just short of anaphylaxis several times a week. This has been going on for over a decade now. I've had to quit working and I miss many family events because I don't want to have a reaction during the event and ruin it for everyone. If I'm not in the midst of an episode I look and feel fine, so it's hard for others to understand why I stay home all the time. I'm blessed with a stable home life and am very comfortable with access to excellent health care, so I'm very lucky in that respect. But I miss my old life.

2points

Rider 2 years ago

Looking at me you'd never guess I have CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, OCD, Cleithrophobia, and Migraines. My brain was trained in childhood to turn against me. It's looking like I may be Counter-Dependent too, which would explain why I'm high functioning. I'm suborn for my own good. I almost have enough cats for each disorder to have it's own therapy animal.

2points

Gemma jones 2 years ago

i had anorexia and going to restaurants or if was somewhere like an office party or whatever and there was a buffet, or the time my now husband moved in and filled the fridge with food i had major anxiety attacks. i'm ok now cause him and my personal trainer made me eat but yeah, people just thinking im picky or attention seeking and now i am a normal weight people dont believe i weighed 6 stone,

2points

Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 2 years ago

Type 2 diabetes, fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis (knees & back), degenerative disc, sciatica, chronic fatigue, CIPN (Chemotherapy Induced Peripheral Neuropathy- way worse than diabetic neuropathy) from breast cancer (in remission!), fibro fog (memory/cognitive issues), depression. I'm 56, but this all started around 40. I've had people follow me into stores, yelling for parking in handicapped spots, saying I'm too young to be sick, I don't "look" sick, reporting me to management for using motorized carts. It's hard enough dealing with all this, and watching my family suffer, I don't need strangers making it worse! 😥

1point

Kathleen Schmidt 2 years ago

I have Lupus that attacks my central nervous system. It has progressed to the point that it is now obvious I am not well, but I spent the better part of 15 years trying to pretend I was fine because it was easier than trying to explain to people just how awful it is living in this body. I haven't been able to work in almost 8 years. People love to tell me how they wish they could just collect disability & not have to work. No, you don't. Not being able to contribute to your own life & family is horrible. Watching my husband work himself to the bone because I can't work is heart wrenching. Watching the pain in my kids' eyes because they are watching their mom suffer is awful. I would love nothing more than to park at the back of a parking lot & walk in/around a store. He'll, I'd like to walk to the bathroom & not worry about the fact that I might fall while no one is home. People get frustrated because I am slow. If it's frustrating for you, think about how I feel.

1point

Aradia Sayner 2 years ago

Narcoleptic here. I'm sick to death of people thinking that this illness is a joke. I've also had enough of people thinking I'm lazy. I literally have zero control over my sleep/wake cycles, even with medication.

1point

AR 2 years ago

Rapid cycling Bipolar 2 with anxiety and compulsions, PCOS, hypothyroid, and hip nerve issues. Lots of fun.

1point

Tiffany Weaver 2 years ago

I have CRPS and have an implant to control my pain people don't understand that just having clothes touch my ankle causes pain and that the simple act of walking can be excruciating.

1point

Autumn 2 years ago

I have Executive Functioning Disorder, as well as OCD, anxiety, and adhd-like tendencies. The amount of trouble it’s given me in school or life in general is insane. I struggle with starting things and making deadlines. I’m a perfectionist. I feel like something has to be my best work, I need them to see it how I do. I struggle with making decisions. I was thinking about it a few day ago and it hit me that this is going to be a constant. I realized that it’ll affect me in more ways then I thought. I’ve mostly been worried about pursuing further education and holding down more than a part time job but I realize that this is going to effect future relationships I might make and so much more than I realized. Stuff’s gotten a bit better but it’s exhausting. And trust me, if you’re tired of me forgetting something or struggling to decide or missing deadlines then let me assure you, I’m just as over it as you are. Not to mention all the annoying meds. I hate pills.

1point

Isaac Harvey 2 years ago

I have epilepsy, and usually I am able to take my anti-seizure medicines on time in the mornings and evenings. In some evenings, however, I haven’t always been able to get home to take them for sometimes as long as 3 hours. Yes, I remain conscious if I don’t take them for a while, but anything beyond 10PM makes me paranoid. Also, they have a long list of side effects, which I have been dealing with ever since my epilepsy diagnosis in May 2020. For example, I get tired easier than I used to but have trouble falling asleep.

1point

Isabelle Robson 2 years ago (edited)

I have a vitamin b12 deficiency, I have 3 monthly injections for it, when it's wearing off I get tired, my eyesight fades in and out, i get the tremors in my arms and hands, i forget things, find it REALLY hard to concentrate on simple tasks & instructions, along with sometimes slurred speech, im oftern in a confused state....people don't believe me & know nothing about it.....

1point

Sayem Ahmed kosru 2 years ago

dad in sign language is a great way to communicate with your dad if he is deaf or hard of hearing. There are many different ways to sign dad, but one of the most common is to simply put your fist against your chest and then move it up and down. You can also sign dad by making the letter D with your hand and then tapping your chest. Whichever way you choose to sign dad, make sure that you do it with a confident and affirmative attitude - after all, there's no greater dad than yours! Read another amazing blog: https://lead-academy.org/blog/dad-in-sign-language/

1point

Rose 1 year ago

Fibro/CFS I look ok but somedays I can't walk because of the feeling on knives in my feet. Stress and migraine bring on a crash, its like the lights get turned off. I'm not faking I honestly can't move, can't talk, every thing feels a million miles away. Somedays I can walk without help, somedays a walker other days a wheelchair and other days I'm stuck in bed. I'm obese so people think I'm just lazy and eat junk food. Most days I have trouble preparing a single meal let alone eat it. I have to budget my time. Do my shopping about an hour means at least 2 hours in bed after. No one actually chooses to live this way because it's not a good life it a life sentence. I may get well but I may also get worse. But I look perfectly ok

0points

Alicia Davidson 2 years ago

I always hate it when people say, just try this diet, just do this exercise, pray more, etc. I have multiple food allergies and an already on a strict diet because of that. I have had people convinced that my diet is causing my migraines. I was still getting migraines when I was only able to eat plain salads. (just salad mix and nothing else). I have asthma; I can't exercise if I'm going into asthma attacks from sitting on the couch. Even on my good days, I had depression that would often keep me from doing things. My mom has an extremely debilitating disease that is invisible called MCTD, basically she has multiple autoimmune diseases, diagnosed 23 years ago. If eating a different diet could heal her, then she wouldn't still have the disease.

0points

Cindy Illsley 2 years ago

Great article! A must read for everyone.

0points

Marnie 2 years ago

This is so eye-opening. I've never been one to discount someone, but all these details are very good to know. I think something like this should be required reading for everyone in high school. Get the vast majority of people to understand you can't always tell by looking at someone.

0points

James Hoffberger 2 years ago

Don't worry about it it's there problem

0points

Penny Kemper 2 years ago

I think you all need to stop caring what other people think. People are a-hole and mostly only think of themselves and their lives. So they don't understand that their problem not yours. Just except they'll never understand.

-1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

Sure! Great idea! Now what's the magical formula to make that happen? (People, when you tell others "You just need to ____!" you're not being helpful. If it was as easy as "just-!" WE WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THAT THING. It may work for you, but it ain't universal.)

6points

Emiloy 2 years ago

It’s not that simple. People not understanding does more that just hurt our feelings. It prevents us from getting accommodations that allow us to access things, including basic necessities. Them not understanding *becomes* our problem because it can cause us harm.

5points

AR 2 years ago

Wow, thanks, I’m cured. 🙄

0points

Snakery Bakery 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ozacoter 2 years ago

This post is literarly for people to talk about their conditions. How its a surprise that they do?

4points

POST

SpookyPanda 2 years ago

16points

Hey! 2 years ago

6points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

2points

AR 2 years ago

1point

Autumn 2 years ago (edited)

This seems slightly unrelated but I’m currently learning American Sign Language :) I hav no idea if that’s what you use but still

1point

Helen Waight 2 years ago

15points

Something 2 years ago

11points

Rens 2 years ago

4points

AR 2 years ago

1point

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago (edited)

13points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

A friend with fibro says the same. I am so glad you got some relief! The cycles of fibro/depression is just not livable.

8points

The Blinking Duck 2 years ago

11points

Seedy Vine 2 years ago

Sorry to hear that. Wonder if you can get a medical exemption to work from home? Or maybe a better boss?

6points

KK 2 years ago

TLDR: People need to be more understanding.

10points

Shane S 2 years ago

10points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

my family gets it on our face. f*****g fantastic.

5points

TheDivineMsM 2 years ago

9points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Advocating for yourself in the middle of anxiety is so hard. So f*****g hard.

8points

Alexa Saltz 2 years ago

9points

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

6points

LittlePiggie 2 years ago

8points

Something 2 years ago

The stigma makes people think it's rare to have any of these conditions. In reality, a significant percentage of the population is suffering alone for no real reason.

8points

Amanda 2 years ago

8points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

7points

Justme 2 years ago

I’m curious - how many ADD’ers like me read this while you’re supposed to be working 😬

7points

Scarlett 2 years ago

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

6points

Seedy Vine 2 years ago

5points

Adan Adnan 2 years ago

4points

Madeleine 2 years ago

0points

Jknbt 2 years ago (edited)

4points

AR 2 years ago

No one has to answer it.

0points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

4points

the 22nd pilot 2 years ago

3points

the 22nd pilot 2 years ago

0points

UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago

3points

Bipolarbear. 1 year ago (edited)

1point

Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago

3points

AR 2 years ago

My grandma was deaf and if people started to get annoyed or she simply couldn’t catch the words, she would just smile and shrug her shoulders as if it was the person’s problem, not hers.

2points

SealOfDisapproval 2 years ago

Chronic insomnia. I get a lot of well-meaning advice, but trust me: after 30+ years I have tried whatever it is you are about to suggest more than once. No, I'm not lazy, just very tired.

3points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

It's the worst feeling: being exhausted, but unable to sleep. I've found some help w/CBO and Delta 8, but that's not long-term sustainable, either.

-1point

Bittersweetie 2 years ago

3points

Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago

2points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

2points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

1point

Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago

2points

Lsai Aeon 2 years ago (edited)

2points

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 2 years ago

2points

Madeleine 2 years ago

0points

Cat Bessing 2 years ago

2points

Rider 2 years ago

2points

Gemma jones 2 years ago

2points

Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 2 years ago

1point

Kathleen Schmidt 2 years ago

1point

Aradia Sayner 2 years ago

1point

AR 2 years ago

Rapid cycling Bipolar 2 with anxiety and compulsions, PCOS, hypothyroid, and hip nerve issues. Lots of fun.

1point

Tiffany Weaver 2 years ago

I have CRPS and have an implant to control my pain people don't understand that just having clothes touch my ankle causes pain and that the simple act of walking can be excruciating.

1point

Autumn 2 years ago

1point

Isaac Harvey 2 years ago

1point

Isabelle Robson 2 years ago (edited)

1point

Sayem Ahmed kosru 2 years ago

1point

Rose 1 year ago

0points

Alicia Davidson 2 years ago

0points

Cindy Illsley 2 years ago

Great article! A must read for everyone.

0points

Marnie 2 years ago

0points

James Hoffberger 2 years ago

Don't worry about it it's there problem

0points

Penny Kemper 2 years ago

-1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

6points

Emiloy 2 years ago

5points

AR 2 years ago

Wow, thanks, I’m cured. 🙄

0points

Snakery Bakery 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ozacoter 2 years ago

This post is literarly for people to talk about their conditions. How its a surprise that they do?

4points