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How many times have we seen such a plot in movies - a person leaves the prison gates, then someone from their previous life or someone from their future life approaches - and a series of exciting adventures begins. Real life, unfortunately, is completely different from what we see on the screen...

When released from prison, some people unfortunately return to crime, but even for those who sincerely try to live a decent life again, this process is not at all smooth, simply because prison is a completely different world that leaves an imprint on everyone who has been there. And the redditors in this thread open up about the prison habits that invariably accompanied them or their acquaintances after their release.

More info: Reddit

#1

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I did almost seven years. Been out two years. I'm 35. From Wisconsin. Wisconsin has a law called "Truth in Sentencing", You do 100% of your time. There are multiple head counts where the guards make sure that all of the inmates are accounted for. Every morning at 5:00 a.m. I felt like I was doing something wrong if I slept past 5:00 a.m. It took me almost six months before I slept past 5:00. Even now, 6:00 a.m. is sleeping in for me. It has allowed me to never be late to work, and show up everyday. I was a drug dealer with no work ethic, and I slept until noon. Ironically, I am more successful than I ever thought I would be because of this habit. I actually just got poached by another company who offered me a 150% salary increase. Nice to see you, new tax bracket. In two years, I have become a model parolee. My life is great. I married my wife last September. I go to therapy for a multitude of conditions that manifested while I was a guest of the state. I was diagnosed with general and social anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I was out a few months and I had a panic attack. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was literally paralyzed and afraid. I thought prison ruined me. It made me a better person in general. I am not praising Wisconsin DOC by any means. The guards dehumananized the inmates and treated us like pure garbage with no hope. They always told people "You'll be back". I won't be back. People that go back produce job security. They want people to come back so they do what they can to steal your dreams. I changed myself. Prison allowed me to step back and really look at my life. I saw who I hurt. I saw who was there for me. I saw who abandoned me. I became focused on change after my third year. I contemplated suicide because I wasn't even half done with my sentence. After I seriously thought about hanging my life up I committed myself to being the best human being I could be. I revolted by behaving, teaching myself things, and being positive. My life is now amazing. I'm surrounded by people who love me and support me. All of the "ex cons" reading this, and people just interested in this thread, that label is b******t. We are human beings with feelings. We can change. Stay positive and stay hopeful. Never give up. All of my fellow Redditor's, one love.

anon , Evgeniy Petkevich Report

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Kathryn Baylis
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish you all the best. I hope someone reading this takes it to heart.

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#2

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I didn't use a fork for a few weeks. Ate everything with a spoon without thinking. It's not the most interesting thing but I hadn't noticed it posted here.

justinlarson , mike krzeszak Report

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Karen Startz Richardson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah! The good old 'spork'... ( I worked many, many years as a prison/ county jail nurse)

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#3

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison staring at sharp things. Like theres no desire to use them innapropriatly but you are just kinda shocked they're there and available for use. You might be suprised what qualifies as a sharp object. I remember whenever someone tried to hand me a knife or something to cut veggies Id be afraid to touch it. Glass was the biggest thing though, just mirrors in all the bathrooms. real ones. I could smash that s**t and have a big jagged weapon, i cant believe this italian restraunt has such a dangerous thing in their bathroom.
stopping thinking of objects as weapons is hard

Skishkitteh , Neeta Lind Report

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Parmeisan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is such a small-seeming, but profoundly view-changing thing. I can just picture this person standing in a restaurant bathroom trying to wrap their head around "this is how people on the outside live". We never even notice.

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Well, according to inexorable statistics, the United States is the world leader in incarceration, having over 1.8 million imprisoned just in 2023. At the same time, every year approximately 600 thousand people leave the prison gates - and they all need to somehow integrate into ordinary life. Alas, not everyone actually succeeds in this.

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According to data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), among prisoners released from jails in 34 states in the five-year period from 2012 to 2017, seventy percent were arrested again within the next five years. As for prisoners with juvenile records, here the recidivism rate is even higher - 80%. Yes, imprisonment has a strong influence on the human psyche, even too much...

#4

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Doing laps. In prison, every time you get time on the yard, you do laps. Seriously, almost every single person does it too. When you get out, it's hard to break that habit.

Official--Moderator , Vee Report

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Lauren Bridger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did this alot in jail. There's not much room. You rarely get to go outside. It would help going to sleep because I tired my body out. I can sleep through anything now. Door bangs, fights, toilets, yelling, etc. Once I'm asleep I don't wake up for s**t.

#5

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I find myself hoarding toilet paper under my bed. Sometimes I do it without thinking and I'll look under there and have 10 rolls of tp

tentosamo , Mike Mozart Report

#6

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Hoard feminine hygiene products. We were super limited on the number of pads or tampons they gave us. They didn't give any to the women in holding cells. There was dried and fresh menstrual blood on the floor and concrete benches, and a drain in the middle of the rooms like they intended to hose down the room, but if they did it was not often enough.

feiticeirarose , Brenna Report

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MaryHadaLittleLamb
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is inhumane. Cruel and unusual punishment. Not to mention discriminatory, since only women receive this treatment.

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Many convicts in prison develop a large number of specific habits that are caused by constantly being in a closed space, the regulation of many aspects of their lives by third-party rules and, let's be honest, the constant presence of danger - after all, they are 24/7 surrounded by people who have also broken the law. Accordingly, after release, adapting to ordinary life can be very, very difficult.

#7

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Taking as long as you want in the shower. For the longest time after I got out, I took less than 5 minute showers.

Dysphoric_Otter , Petras Gagilas Report

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Christine welsh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not having a timer on your shower is amazing or having to wait for it to go off and sit for 5 mins and press it again , covered in soap lol

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#8

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I knew of a guy who got out after 15 years. He had to call a friend to come and let him out of his apartment. They'd go out, do some shopping or whatever and then his friend would "lock him up" for the night.

Dude could not work doors himself without irrational fear. He did get better after a few months, but I hear he still has trouble doing things independently.

VikingTeddy , Adam Campbell Report

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Malfar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know people (acquaintances of acquaintances) who committed new crimes simply because they couldn't get used to not having anyone manage their time for them

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#9

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Constantly looking over my shoulder. By far the hardest conditioning to break, which I haven't and doubt I ever will, is the constant pessimism and cautious optimism. You see, when you're waiting to work your way through court, get a deal, and get sentenced, you will have your dates changed 50 times, hope for certain things only to be disappointed, and any time you are told something hopeful it doesn't work out.

As a result, I never get excited for something until it actually happens. When my wife told me we were pregnant (I already knew from her symptoms that she was but still, you never know for sure till you take the test), I was obviously happy, but because I'm always cautiously optimistic and rarely show emotion, I couldn't feel comfortable or excited until I knew that my developing daughter was healthy. Even then, it didn't really hit me till she was born.

You can apply this to anything especially big events. Getting engaged, planning the wedding, buying a house, ANYTHING. I still hear from my wife how i wasn't crazy surprised or excited to be having a kid. I was, I actually was the half of the relationship who was dead set on a kid when my wife supposedly could've gone either way.

You just can't get your hopes up or look forward to anything until it is here or has happened. I've been home over 7 years now and with my wife for 6.5. She's truly the catalyst that motivated me to truly change my life and to not give any more of my life to the system, but she'll never know how happy she makes me because she misinterprets my cautious optimism/realism for pessimism or indifference.

Elrond_the_Ent , cottonbro studio Report

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Brainmas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude I feel this. I didn't spend much time in, but I went through trials and it was definitely unnerving to say the least. I had the same feeling during my own pregnancy as you described. I think it probably has more to do with how I was raised, but that c**p is what got me into the situation that got me locked up so. I always keep my expectations low, but I do get really excited when things work out.

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Yes, being in prison is a traumatic psychological experience for most people, and adaptation to normal life after release should ideally include therapy and a whole range of psychological support. Unfortunately, this does not always correspond to reality...

“The biggest problem is the criminal justice system, and the mental health system are not closely aligned,” VeryWell Mind quotes Robert Morgan, PhD, chair and John G. Skelton Jr., regents endowed professor in the Department of Psychological Sciences at Texas Tech University. “We need to teach [former inmates] system management and how to cope. We need to teach them about their mental illness and make sure that they know once they leave, they need to reconnect with the mental health system.” In an ideal world - yes. In real life - who knows?

#10

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I don't smoke, but every time someone offered me a cig I would pocket it. on the inside thats a bartering chip, took me about a month or two to break

interchangeable-bot , Fred Dough Report

#11

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Sounds like there’s a major epidemic of ex-prisoners with PTSD that society doesn’t talk about.

ButternutSasquatch , Inzmam Khan Report

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Ash
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention that there is a significantly higher number of people in prison with mental health problems and mental disabilities than there is in the general population, simply because we have a terrible mental health culture and we criminalize things we should be treating instead...

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#12

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Making prison commissary-only food. Everyone around me thinks it is gross as hell to throw summer sausages, pickles, cheese, doritos, cheetos, and such into my ramen noodles, but good lord, I can't stop, and I have been out for five years.

peanutjesus , Joy Report

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Hokuloa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this includes people who have grown in poverty as well. Old habits are hard habits. Maybe tasty habits too!

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Prison life has always had its reflection in culture - suffice it to say that the first place in the IMDb Top 250 list has been occupied by The Shawshank Redemption for several decades. However, we do not know what mental problems Andy Dufresne faced after his glorious escape - and he spent almost twenty years behind bars. Maybe Stephen King will write a sequel about all this one day - and meanwhile we're looking forward to your own comments and maybe own stories below this list as well.

#13

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison A somewhat-friend of mine did a few years and the one habit he couldn't shake was distrusting people.

He said that people in prison are never nice, if they're nice it's because of a hidden motive. Up to this day he still doesn't trust people who act nice / generous / helpful / .. towards him.

ehamo , Wayne Fotografias Report

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#14

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison A couple guys I know-after being out for 5-10 yrs- wrap their arms around their plates and shovel food in their mouths at the speed of light. They are also super defensive of their food. When I first got to know them I jokingly swiped a chip off one of their plates and he flipped his fork up and demanded I give it back, freaked me out a lil

917starlette , Raul Report

#15

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Realising I could just get up and go somewhere. That I could make plans tomorrow from a thousand different choices.

Hard to break the habit of checking everyone who enters your vicinity. It feels like you’ve gotta mark everyone off as a non threat

Edit: I don’t care if you do that and you’ve never been to prison

anon , Judy Dean Report

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SweetCheesySpaghetti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love the edit here. People who have never been in a situation love to tell people who have how much they know about the situation they have never been in.

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#16

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Definitely sleeping habits. Still haven't broke them. Haven't slept a full night in over a decade. Any noise and my eyes are open and I'm wide awake. I can hear really well. A raccoon comes nightly to eat scraps and cat food and I can hear him crunching outside on the porch from bed on the opposite side of the house (roughly 60feet away). Wide awake.

themanicmechanic3 , Stephanie Red Report

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#17

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison All of this sounds eerily similar to be being deployed ....

anon , Mike Cofrancesco Report

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Luke Branwen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both involve putting desperate people into traumatizing situations full of dehumanization and violence, so I kinda see why.

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#18

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison My ex would sleep a certain way all the time. To me it seemed like he was sleeping as if he was in a coffin,his arms crossed and wouldn’t move the entire night for a couple months. He eventually broke that habit.

Edit: a word

myjobbetternotfindme , Timothy Krause Report

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Awesome At Being Autistic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I feel this. My prison "single bed" was about 15cm shorter than a regular single bed. I've been out for almost 3 years now, and I still freak out that I'm falling off my bed, even though it's a double bed now, and only me.

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#19

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison My uncle was in prison for a while and we've talked a bit about his experience and how it effected him:

-He has a hard time not being violent. You'd never guess since he mainly just sits in a corner and smokes but he's been out for nearly ten years and still always struggles with using his words

-The guy cannot stand authority. He tells me that its hard to listen to bosses when you know you're probably smarter and tougher than them. He knows most people feel this way, but he just can't ignore it. He's taken up professional carving so he can be his boss.

-He's really in touch with our native roots now, on account of joining a first nations gang in prison.

-Doesn't talk much, I don't know if that's because of prison but he really only speaks if he wants to. Not the type of guy who likes to talk just to talk.

-Doesn't have a lot. He has some sort of abandonment issue or something so he doesn't want a lot of things to miss if he goes back to prison.

-For all the time he doesn't spend with people, he's out with nature or doing something in the wilderness. I think it helps keep him calm and feel connected.

Nice enough guy, but prison kind of f****d him up I think and he's going to live his life being slightly disconnected with people

hippynoize , LawPrieR Report

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PeepPeep the duck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I noticed a kitchen hand as a teenager in the restaurant I grew up in, he was so funny and cool and hot etc and then he ‘went away’ and a year later when he was back, he was overly reserved, not talking and fun like he used to be. Someone had to pull me aside and explain cos I was so young/naive and confused. He was only in for dealing a small amount of pot. Which is scary to think 1gram of weed means a year later youlll be a different person in a bad and sad way.

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#20

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not me personally but I know a guy that said after he got out he just wanted McDonald's. When he got there he spent 20 minutes staring at the menu trying to decide what to order because he wasn't used to having choices.

Anynamethatworks , Mike Mozart Report

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PeepPeep the duck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have served people like this in restaurants 😆 they are darling. I just end up picking something for them. Based on a short list of questions like what do you hate and what do you love (like eg. do you hate cheese or love it, chicken or beef? )

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#21

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison The hardest thing has been to talk without using the words f**k, f*****g or a*****e in every sentence.

james0martin , Kindel Media Report

#22

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I had to completely change my sense of time. I agree with all the people who said they ate super fast, but then we would slow walk back from the chow hall- any excuse for a few minutes more outside.

I made sure I never consolidated enjoyable things. If I had a snack- I ate it and concentrated on it. If there was something good on TV, I watched it. Now, I’ll snack while I watch a movie because there aren’t enough hours in the day- but on the inside I was trying to make hours and days go away.

I’ve got a good job now, and nice respectable friends, but I still react to confrontational situations more quickly, decisively and... efficiently than they do. I’m able to pull back at the last minute, but it’s pretty clear that violence is not a tool in their arsenal.

DeuceTheDog , Caitlin Regan Report

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Becky Samuel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stretching of things to fill time is so hard to explain to people who are working and keeping house and doing all the 'normal' things. When you have disabilities that make it impossible to achieve more than one or two things in a day, time stretches out like a vast void in front of you and it's hard to imagine how to fill the decades ahead without going completely nuts. All you can do is try not to think about it and do whatever it takes to get through right now.

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#23

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison When my dad got out of prison (10+ years) we nicknamed him Martha Stewart because he was such a clean freak. His home looks like an ikea catalog, he has glass containers for his shoes, he wakes up early to iron/wash/scrub everything.
When I lived with him for a year, I was grounded so many times over leaving water drops in the sink.

pimberly , Ann Report

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SadieCat17 (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have something similar that happens. After a stressful or traumatic event, I get the hardcore need for everything to be *right* and it isn't, I sometimes freak the f**k out. Poor guy is probably out of his mind trying to mentally stay together by physically making his world stable.

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#24

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not me - but guy who worked for me. When things were very busy, I would often get carry-out lunch for everyone and bring it back to the workplace. This one guy would eat a cheeseburger and french fries in two minutes. Wow! Once I asked him why he ate so quickly. He said "Well nobsforgma, I spent 7 years in a Federal prison and if you didn't eat your meal in 10 minutes, you didn't get anything. That 10 minutes often included the time it took standing in line to get your food." OK then. I never said anything to him about it after that.

NoBSforGma , H. Michael Miley Report

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SweetCheesySpaghetti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband spent some time in juvie over 25 years ago. He still eats his food like someone is about to steal it. I've never seen him take longer than 7 minutes to eat a meal. No matter how hard he tries, he's never been able to break the habit.

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#25

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not being able to goto the free infirmary when sick or hurt.

donkeywhax , upupa4me Report

#26

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not me but my best friend who spent 2/3 of her life locked up in juvie and prison: If she wanted a glass of water, she would ask permission.

Also, if we were at my apartment and we're gonna leave to go somewhere, she would stand behind the door and wait for me to open it. As if the door to my apartment was locked and only I had the keys.

RIP M

Dongo666 , I G Report

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LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lack any faith/beliefs (other than a firm conviction that the Rainbow Bridge is a real place where our beloved pets go after death) but I sincerely hope M is at peace now.

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#27

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison I spent 72 months in prison for a tragic car accident that I had caused. After I was released I kept telling my wife exactly what I was doing without her asking. She thought it was funny at first but after a few weeks of it she was starting to get bothered.

carter5oh , Vera Arsic Report

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#28

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Having your head on a swivel, protecting your personal property in an obsessive manner, and sizing everyone up. When I was locked up, I always knew what was going on 360 degrees around me. Only the last unit I was in had lockers with actually locks, so before that, I had to protect my commie, paperwork and books all the time. Most people would fight you to take your s**t because that is the respectful way to do it, but cat burglars are the worst; they sneak around and take s**t. They get f****d up by everyone when they get caught. It is code: you want my s**t, come get it. Not sneaking around and steal it. I’ve been out for almost a year and a half but I still constantly size people up. No matter where it is (grocery store, Walmart, walking down the street), I still analyze each person and figure my best course of action if we have to fight.

sDotAgain , Nicola Barts Report

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K Buff
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People from law enforcement families do the exact same thing. We size everyone up and always have an exit strategy

#29

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Dude I work with said for the first little bit after getting out he would take a leg out of his pants when he’d s**t. Not sure how common that was, dude’s a fighter though, so maybe that had something to do with it.

themeltykind , Bastian Greshake Tzovaras Report

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SweetCheesySpaghetti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This makes total sense. Less vulnerable. Every time i read these I get so sad for the people needing to come up with these kinds of ways to protect themselves in the most ordinary of situations.

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#30

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not wearing shoes in the shower. Eating with forks and knives. Having salt and pepper for food. Not always having to watch your back. Being able to get food when you want it, and just get up and leave to go for a drive or something.

the-walkin-dude- , Didriks Report

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#31

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Hardest habit? Talking s**t to dum***s old men who think they're right cuz they're old. Easiest habit? I'm never eating top ramen or getting a bowl cut from a Mexican "barber" again

the_mighty_j , Tim Gouw Report

#32

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Not an ex con but my step dad has been in and out of prison for the majority of his life, he always said that whenever he gets out of prison you're so use to to it being loud all the time that when he got home he couldn't sleep because it was so quiet.

anon , mckinney75402 Report

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Cranky when UNcaffeinated
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My older brother is a trucker and cannot sleep at home. He's so used to the noise of the truck and vibration that sometimes on a home weekend, he still sleeps in the truck and goes home in the morning. His wife gets it but it sometimes aggravates her. He's lived in that thing for almost 12 years so that's home now.

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#33

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Never been to prison. But i did a few months in county jail. Something i havnt seen mentioned is trading food. When i got out i asked my girlfried to trade me her chicken wings for my macorni. Pure habit. I really couldve just went to the kitchen and got more chicken

Ondareal , gromgull Report

#34

Ex-Offenders Open Up About 34 Hard-To-Break Habits After Coming Out Of Prison Just knowing what I could do to someone who crosses me. Knowing just how badly I could f**k them up physically and mentally. I have to remind myself that "no, this person probably has a family, probably hasn't done anything wrong in his life, don't destroy him just because you can."

anon , rebcenter moscow Report

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Becky Samuel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being in touch with and understanding your personal 'monster' doesn't make you a bad person. You are much less likely to lose control and do something you'll regret if you can admit to yourself that you are capable of doing these things. Pretending that we are all sweet little kitties is ignoring the fact that cats are ferocious predators that will kill for fun.

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