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Teen Never Eats At Favorite Restaurant Because Of Stepsiblings, Goes There For B-day, Dad Is Livid
How often have we heard stories about kids being forced to bond with a stepparent or stepsiblings? We might feel that people would realize by now just how badly a coerced relationship can turn out. It gets even worse if the stepsiblings’ needs are put above while ignoring the others.
Just like Reddit user No-Elephant-5814, who is always forced to bring their stepsiblings when going out with their uncle. The teen has never been able to go to their favorite spots because of the stepsiblings’ allergies, so on the teen’s birthday, they purposely picked a restaurant of their choice, which angered their father!
More info: Reddit
Forcing children to bond with their stepsiblings never ends on a good note for blended families
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s stepsiblings have different allergies, so their restaurant choices are always given first preference while the poster is sidelined
Image credits: No-Elephant-5814
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even when the stepsiblings are not there, the poster is not given their choice as it would be “unfair” to the other kids
Image credits: No-Elephant-5814
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, when their uncle took the poster out for their birthday dinner, the poster chose their favorite spot, and the stepsiblings, forced to accompany them, didn’t eat anything
Image credits: No-Elephant-5814
The dad and stepmom were furious with the poster after going home but the teen stood up for themselves, claiming that they’ve never shared a bond with the stepsiblings
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) tells us that they have two stepsiblings who have different allergies and their dad and stepmom solely focus on this. The parents always consider the allergies when eating out and almost everything has become about it.
Now, forget going to their favorite restaurant, the teen is not even allowed to eat the food they want because it would be “unfair” to the others. To be honest, the parents’ judgment of what’s fair and what’s not seems to be all blurred. The worst part is that even on their birthday, the teen can’t go to their top spots as they won’t easily accommodate the stepsiblings.
Another thing that the teen informed us was that they have a loving uncle who was their mom’s brother and also their dad’s close friend, but after their mom passed away, the friendship between the two men ended. Now, the father takes out his anger on the uncle with a stupid rule that if he takes out the teen, the stepsiblings also have to tag along.
When the uncle was taking out the teen to celebrate their birthday, the stepsiblings came along as well, but for once, the teen chose their favorite restaurant where they and the uncle ate while the siblings couldn’t. OP tells us that they didn’t even feel bad because their needs had never been put before the siblings, and surely, who can blame them?
However, all hell broke loose after they came home and they had to face the fury of their stepmom, while their dad was disappointed in them. OP stood up for themselves and mentioned how they never get to choose and how the siblings shouldn’t even come with them. This really upset the stepmom who played the “sibling bond” card, when really there has never been a bond and that doesn’t matter to the poster.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Research states that 40% of families in the U.S. are blended with at least one partner having a child from a previous relationship before marriage. Looking at the high statistics, these families are quite numerous, so it’s no wonder that we read a lot of stories about how kids are forced to bond with their stepsiblings.
On top of being coaxed to integrate with the new family, OP has also been sidelined as their dad and stepmom have always made everything about the other kids’ allergies. They were always given first preference when choosing a restaurant, even when it was the poster’s birthday celebration. Folks online highly criticized this behavior and mentioned that this was blatant favoritism.
According to FamilyLife, “Playing favorites can wreak havoc in a stepfamily. Stepsibling conflict may be a sign of favoritism by one or both parents.” The poster also commented how they’ve never felt close to the stepsiblings but the favoritism simply added fuel to the fire.
Netizens found it unacceptable that even without the stepsiblings, OP doesn’t have freedom of choice, and they felt that this is just a toxic form of control, which research has proven to be unhealthy. They also found it unreasonable that the father takes out his anger about the uncle on the poster by making them take the stepsiblings out for the birthday celebration.
People expressed their sympathies that the poster has had to go through all this at such a young age and many advised them to leave that house immediately once they turn 18. Some even suggested that they move in with the uncle and OP replied that they’ve discussed it with the uncle, who is only too glad to take them in.
What would you have done if you were in the poster’s shoes? Type away your thoughts in the comments below!
Netizens applauded the poster for standing up for themselves and they didn’t hesitate to call out the controlling behavior of the dad and stepmom
What do you think ?
Angela C 1 month ago
Hope his step kids like him enough to put him in a good nursing home because at this rate OP is gonna chuck him in a dump
Load More Replies...
HangryHangryHippo 1 month ago
OP is going no contact the moment she is able to leave that house...
Mona 1 month ago
I hear you, and I agree with you. But why is this the default answer to everything? Can she maybe move out, go to restaurants she likes, and still stay in contact with her dad?
Load More Replies...
arthbach 1 month ago
There's two points, uncle and food. The uncle needs to put his foot down, and tell his former friend he will not be taking step-children out with him and his nibling. That is a time for just the two of them.... The second point is when a family (even a burdensome family) the place chosen need to provide safe food for everyone. This can suck and means a person doesn't get to eat in their favourite place, but when a group of people are going out everyone's needs have to be met. If this is too onerous, then it's time to stop centering celebrations around food. Do other things instead. Go to the cinema, bowling, rock climbing, escape room, etc, and that's the celebration.
Aelin Wildfire 1 month ago (edited)
I agree with you, but this particular situation isn't necessarily about the food: it's about OP's dad and dad's wife being unnecessarily restrictive. They're forbidding this food, even when the stepsiblings aren't present. I don't blame the uncle in this case, because it's very obvious that he did not want them there, and -literally every other meal OP has eaten in 6 years- has catered to the steps. Also, unless their allergen is super common (like wheat or soy), there must be -something- on the menu that they could've eaten. I have to wonder if they're not trying to make the situation worse... After all, it said that they "didn't" eat, not that they "couldn't" eat.
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
What absolutely wretched, horrible parents. I guess they want this kid to go no contact the minute they turn 18. Then they'll whine and say "We have no idea why they hate us!!"
Perfumista Perfumista 1 month ago (edited)
They're not making you bond. They're just making you resent the hell out of each other.
Damned_Cat 1 month ago
I find it hard to believe that the steps can't find ANYTHING to eat at OP's choice of restaurant. If my friends and I go to an Italian restaurant, our celiac friend can at least order an a la carte meat and veggies. I'd be interested to know how far the parents will take this business of "it's not fair to your siblings" OP will be old enough for R-rated movies in a year, old enough to drink in a few more after that (depending on the country), and other age-restricted things as well. Will they try to stop her/him then?
Robin Roper 1 month ago
OP may need to play the game a few more years, especially if dad is paying for school beyond secondary/high school. Then, get the heck away from them; dad, step-monster, and step-siblings, and never look back.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
When you go to college stay in state because the tuition is so much cheaper than out of state unless you get one hell of a scholarship package. I know you're only 16 but if you haven't already start thinking about what you want to major in. Go to a community college the first 2 years to take all of the math, english, history or any of the c**p that has absolutely nothing to do with your major and RENT the books do not buy them. If you have any other relatives on your mother's side of the family maybe pick schools near them.
The Starsong Princess 1 month ago
You are 16. Your dad has less power over you than you think. Next time, make plans to go out to eat directly with your uncle and don’t tell anyone. Have him pick you up at the curb and say “Going out to eat with uncle, back around 8:30, byeee!” If your dad gives you a hard time, remind him that you are16 and it’s weird for him to expect you to account for every moment.
Teddy O'Malley 1 month ago
I love the thought, but in a lot of US states 16 is legal age and the uncle could potentially get into trouble and the niece could get in trouble with her dad
Load More Replies...
Juanita Sullivan 1 month ago
All kinds of things wrong here and the author is NTA. The father seems to be at the core of this. He seems to forget that his son suffered when his mother died and as the pain eases up over time, it never goes away. Then the father remarries but the son gets put on the back burner which is just totally wrong! So the step kids have allergies. Not fun. But you can't tell me they are allergic to everything on a menu. Restaurants deal with food allergies all the time. OP should not have to suck anything up for the sake of allergies or anything else. OP is every bit of value as the step siblings. Step mom must be very good at certain things for this garbage happening.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
Your father and stepmother need to back up and regroup here. They are being completely unfair to you. You don't eat when you go to a place on THEIR list. Well boo de freaking hoo they didn't eat when YOUR uncle took you out for YOUR birthday. They need to stop forcing them going with you wherever you go. They aren't your brothers or sisters and you don't want them there. I can understand wanting step kids to do things together but don't force them, it doesn't work. Depending on where you live you can get a job after school and on the weekends if you have transportation. If you can do it go for it and ask you uncle to take you to a bank to open a checking and savings accts. Make the best grades that you can do that you can get scholarships, grants and other financial aid for college. Talk to the guidance counselor at school and let them know that your mother died when you were little, I don't know if that makes any difference in financial aid or not.
Elizabeth Deighton 1 month ago
she has every right to go out with HER uncle on HER birthday to HER favourite restaurant. My full brothers were 5 and 7 years younger then me and I used to resent it so much when occasionally my Mum told me to take my brothers out with me when I was going out with my friend on a Saturday afternoon. My friend loved it as she was an only child
Jessica SpeLangm 1 month ago
NTA OP. Your uncle should have said "NO stepsiblings. They are NOT invited and I will NOT take care of them or cater to their needs for this meal. This is my and my niece's celebration. Just us two. The stepsiblings already got their celebration meal for my niece's birthday."
SkyBlueandBlack 1 month ago
In which case niece would not have been allowed to go with him.
Load More Replies...
Dana Gordon 1 month ago
NTA- Healthy Step families explain to their children that because of your mom you have different family members who will want to spend time with op, & they should be ok with that. They most likely have family members from their mom's side as well. If they think it's not fair- we'll, it not fair his mom died either, and that family because they lived his mom- also love and want to see him. Even regular siblings don't go everywhere together- Does dad understand that forcing these issues is instead creating resentment, hurt, alienation? It's also like dad is 'blackmailing' the uncle- "you want to see Jr? Then you gotta take these 2 also." Allowing you no 'one on one' time.
Kate Sparks 1 month ago
I wonder if the step-siblings feel about the OP? There's such an age difference at this stage of their lives... do they even want to be together allllllll the time.....
Angela C 1 month ago
Hope his step kids like him enough to put him in a good nursing home because at this rate OP is gonna chuck him in a dump
Load More Replies... HangryHangryHippo 1 month ago
OP is going no contact the moment she is able to leave that house...
Mona 1 month ago
I hear you, and I agree with you. But why is this the default answer to everything? Can she maybe move out, go to restaurants she likes, and still stay in contact with her dad?
Load More Replies... arthbach 1 month ago
There's two points, uncle and food. The uncle needs to put his foot down, and tell his former friend he will not be taking step-children out with him and his nibling. That is a time for just the two of them.... The second point is when a family (even a burdensome family) the place chosen need to provide safe food for everyone. This can suck and means a person doesn't get to eat in their favourite place, but when a group of people are going out everyone's needs have to be met. If this is too onerous, then it's time to stop centering celebrations around food. Do other things instead. Go to the cinema, bowling, rock climbing, escape room, etc, and that's the celebration.
Aelin Wildfire 1 month ago (edited)
I agree with you, but this particular situation isn't necessarily about the food: it's about OP's dad and dad's wife being unnecessarily restrictive. They're forbidding this food, even when the stepsiblings aren't present. I don't blame the uncle in this case, because it's very obvious that he did not want them there, and -literally every other meal OP has eaten in 6 years- has catered to the steps. Also, unless their allergen is super common (like wheat or soy), there must be -something- on the menu that they could've eaten. I have to wonder if they're not trying to make the situation worse... After all, it said that they "didn't" eat, not that they "couldn't" eat.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 month ago
What absolutely wretched, horrible parents. I guess they want this kid to go no contact the minute they turn 18. Then they'll whine and say "We have no idea why they hate us!!"
Perfumista Perfumista 1 month ago (edited)
They're not making you bond. They're just making you resent the hell out of each other.
Damned_Cat 1 month ago
I find it hard to believe that the steps can't find ANYTHING to eat at OP's choice of restaurant. If my friends and I go to an Italian restaurant, our celiac friend can at least order an a la carte meat and veggies. I'd be interested to know how far the parents will take this business of "it's not fair to your siblings" OP will be old enough for R-rated movies in a year, old enough to drink in a few more after that (depending on the country), and other age-restricted things as well. Will they try to stop her/him then?
Robin Roper 1 month ago
OP may need to play the game a few more years, especially if dad is paying for school beyond secondary/high school. Then, get the heck away from them; dad, step-monster, and step-siblings, and never look back.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
When you go to college stay in state because the tuition is so much cheaper than out of state unless you get one hell of a scholarship package. I know you're only 16 but if you haven't already start thinking about what you want to major in. Go to a community college the first 2 years to take all of the math, english, history or any of the c**p that has absolutely nothing to do with your major and RENT the books do not buy them. If you have any other relatives on your mother's side of the family maybe pick schools near them.
The Starsong Princess 1 month ago
You are 16. Your dad has less power over you than you think. Next time, make plans to go out to eat directly with your uncle and don’t tell anyone. Have him pick you up at the curb and say “Going out to eat with uncle, back around 8:30, byeee!” If your dad gives you a hard time, remind him that you are16 and it’s weird for him to expect you to account for every moment.
Teddy O'Malley 1 month ago
I love the thought, but in a lot of US states 16 is legal age and the uncle could potentially get into trouble and the niece could get in trouble with her dad
Load More Replies... Juanita Sullivan 1 month ago
All kinds of things wrong here and the author is NTA. The father seems to be at the core of this. He seems to forget that his son suffered when his mother died and as the pain eases up over time, it never goes away. Then the father remarries but the son gets put on the back burner which is just totally wrong! So the step kids have allergies. Not fun. But you can't tell me they are allergic to everything on a menu. Restaurants deal with food allergies all the time. OP should not have to suck anything up for the sake of allergies or anything else. OP is every bit of value as the step siblings. Step mom must be very good at certain things for this garbage happening.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
Your father and stepmother need to back up and regroup here. They are being completely unfair to you. You don't eat when you go to a place on THEIR list. Well boo de freaking hoo they didn't eat when YOUR uncle took you out for YOUR birthday. They need to stop forcing them going with you wherever you go. They aren't your brothers or sisters and you don't want them there. I can understand wanting step kids to do things together but don't force them, it doesn't work. Depending on where you live you can get a job after school and on the weekends if you have transportation. If you can do it go for it and ask you uncle to take you to a bank to open a checking and savings accts. Make the best grades that you can do that you can get scholarships, grants and other financial aid for college. Talk to the guidance counselor at school and let them know that your mother died when you were little, I don't know if that makes any difference in financial aid or not.
Elizabeth Deighton 1 month ago
she has every right to go out with HER uncle on HER birthday to HER favourite restaurant. My full brothers were 5 and 7 years younger then me and I used to resent it so much when occasionally my Mum told me to take my brothers out with me when I was going out with my friend on a Saturday afternoon. My friend loved it as she was an only child
Jessica SpeLangm 1 month ago
NTA OP. Your uncle should have said "NO stepsiblings. They are NOT invited and I will NOT take care of them or cater to their needs for this meal. This is my and my niece's celebration. Just us two. The stepsiblings already got their celebration meal for my niece's birthday."
SkyBlueandBlack 1 month ago
In which case niece would not have been allowed to go with him.
Load More Replies... Dana Gordon 1 month ago
NTA- Healthy Step families explain to their children that because of your mom you have different family members who will want to spend time with op, & they should be ok with that. They most likely have family members from their mom's side as well. If they think it's not fair- we'll, it not fair his mom died either, and that family because they lived his mom- also love and want to see him. Even regular siblings don't go everywhere together- Does dad understand that forcing these issues is instead creating resentment, hurt, alienation? It's also like dad is 'blackmailing' the uncle- "you want to see Jr? Then you gotta take these 2 also." Allowing you no 'one on one' time.
Kate Sparks 1 month ago
I wonder if the step-siblings feel about the OP? There's such an age difference at this stage of their lives... do they even want to be together allllllll the time.....
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