Good communication is absolutely fundamental if you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with your family. We can’t overstate just how important it is to actively listen to others when they speak. You can avoid a lot of tension and heartache if you take the time to understand someone else’s point of view, instead of ignoring them completely.

However, some of your relatives might think that they’re always in the right and don’t take your emotions into account. Sometimes, the best way to get them to listen is to do exactly what they ask you to do. Cue some epic malicious compliance.

Redditor u/Free-Will-Hunting shared how his stepfather always buys him clothes that are too small and won’t fit him. Well, the guy had enough of not being heard and took matters into his own hands, shocking the family during his stepdad’s birthday dinner. Scroll down for the full story, in the OP’s own words on r/MaliciousCompliance.

Bored Panda reached out to u/Free-Will-Hunting, the author of the post, and he answered a few of our questions. Read on to find our interview with him!

A guy felt frustrated that his stepdad kept buying him clothes that are too small, and pressuring him to wear them

Image credits: Kai Pilger (not the actual photo)

He decided that it was time to teach him a lesson that he’d never forget

Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Free-Will-Hunting

We wanted to learn a bit more about what happened and the response the author of the post got online, so we reached out to him via Reddit. The OP, u/Free-Will-Hunting, told us that it was surprising just how much attention his story had gotten on the internet.

“I never expected this to reach as many people as it did, but I’m glad people enjoyed the story,” he told Bored Panda. He added that, in his opinion, the story resonated with so many readers because it fit the motto of the r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit. Specifically, “conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request.” It’s a prime example of that.

“I was tired of hearing that I’m unappreciative of his gifts, regardless of me saying they don’t fit me,” u/Free-Will-Hunting said.

“I think the only thought in stepfather and mother’s brain was, “[Damn.] He’s right. The clothes don’t fit, and we can’t complain about it now,” he shared what probably went through their mind.

According to the OP, it’s difficult to give advice to someone who might find themselves in a similar situation because of how unique everyone’s family dynamics actually are. What might help someone could backfire for someone else.

“It depends from person to person, and family to family. In this particular situation, my actions were the only way to drive home the point I was trying to make,” he said.

The author told the r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit that he put on the clothes that his stepdad had given him earlier for his birthday dinner. Of course, the clothes were one size too small, and this made his family members’ jaws drop. However, the OP felt that this was the only way to get through to his stepfather, who kept grumbling that his stepson wouldn’t wear them.

However, the first time around, the stunt worked only partially. The guy’s mom told him that it’s perfectly all right if he doesn’t wear the shirts again. But his stepdad bought him some more shirts later. This time around, they were two sizes too small.

In an update to the story, u/Free-Will-Hunting shared how, by the holidays, his stepdad finally got the message loud and clear: all of the clothes he got were his size. “Christmas presents came a bit earlier this year, and all the clothes are my size. Christmas miracles do happen!” the redditor wrote.

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One of the best things that parents can do is to actively listen to their children. They should hear out their position and try to empathize with them. On the flip side, adults should try and avoid lecturing their kids. According to psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, from New York City, lecturing isn’t a good way to get your child to listen.

Saltz told WebMD that grownups should opt for “engaging talk and talk that asks what they think and fosters their own thinking process and autonomy.” The focus on having a discussion instead of offering up a monologue. This way, you’re helping them feel independent and demonstrating that you value their opinions.

Meanwhile, a teenager or young adult who is frustrated with being ignored should try to be as specific as they can when speaking to their parents. You should opt for a mix of diplomacy and directness. Be friendly but incredibly clear about how you feel.

And, if possible, try to avoid being defensive—recognize that nobody is perfect, we all have our flaws, and that some of the things we hear might sound judgmental but might be a slip of the tongue. Try not to take things so personally. Try to see things from your parents’ point of view if you can. It’s what helps build a solid foundation for a future relationship.

The author shared some more details about his stepdad in the comments of his post

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