Woman Is Upset Stepdaughter Runs Away From The $10K Party With 100 Guests She Threw Her

It’s not at all uncommon for folks in modern marriages to be step parents to their partner’s kids. There is no denying that this family dynamic comes with a whole host of possible issues, but, like with any relationship, at the end of the day, communication and mutual respect are going to come in handy.

A stepmother shared a bit of family drama with the internet, after she decided to organize a massive, expensive surprise party for her stepdaughter who explicitly told her she didn’t want one. Netizens debated the situation in the comments and the stepmom shared a sizable update later.

If a child does not want a party, it’s probably best to actually listen to them

Girl wearing party hat, looking upset at a birthday table.

Image credits: seventyfourimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

But one stepmom decided to spend five figures against her stepdaughter’s wishes

Woman upset as stepdaughter leaves $10K birthday party abruptly.

Text about the importance of birthdays and throwing big parties for Toby.

Text describing stepdaughter refusing birthday parties, mentioning a family dynamic and refusal to celebrate.

Text about a surprise 15th birthday party plan with invitations, games, and decorations.

Text recounting an upset woman's surprise party where stepdaughter leaves immediately.

Text about a party where Lucy went missing during the celebration.

Text describing a search for woman’s stepdaughter and husband who left a party, leading to a ruined mood and guests departing.

Text screenshot discussing stepdaughter's late return after leaving $10K party.

Couple arguing in living room, expressing frustration and upset emotions.

Image credits: djoronimo / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text about stepdaughter leaving party; focus on upset woman.

Text from woman upset about stepdaughter running away from costly party, feeling disrespected and seeking apology.

Text about a woman upset her stepdaughter didn't appreciate the $10K party she threw.

Text expressing a woman's frustration over her stepdaughter running away from a costly party, considering divorce.

Image credits: Square_Indication_29

Step families don’t just work out, there is a lot of work involved

Woman comforting upset child on a sofa, concerned expression, while man sits beside her, related to party incident with stepdaughter.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

To cut this mom and stepmom some slack, it’s by no means easy to help raise a child who has, for one reason or another, been separated from their biological parent. There are a lot of complicated dynamics and desires at play, not limited to, but including the fact that the step children most likely have very complicated feelings about the situation as well.

Researchers suggest that most stepfamilies tend to go through stages, where at the beginning of the families formation, the parents tend to have an optimistic view of what it might look like. This is sometimes called the “fantasy,” as, realistically, most stepfamilies are created by the adults entering into a relationship. As with most parts of life, their kids tend to not get a say.

Unfortunately, the parents tend to immediately assume that everything will work out, as, otherwise, their romantic relationship will be called into question. Realistically, in cases like this where there are two stepchildren, there will be all sorts of emotional issues that need to be resolved, particularly if one of the kids doesn’t like their step-parent.

As always in life, it’s important to see what’s in front of you. It’s not at all unusual that this mother would want her stepdaughter to feel like she’s part of the family, this is by all means a good thing. But it simply can’t be forced. The stepdaughter has seemingly made her feelings very clear. There is some possibility that the father could have stepped in to perhaps build some family cohesion, but we do not have the details to judge.

Actually listening to people is a lot harder than the fantasies we build in our heads

Woman looking upset, hugging a child, with a man in the foreground.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

Similarly, setting aside the party, it would also appear that the stepmother has a very narrow view of what she wants this relationship to look like. The fact that the stepdaughter has routinely refused a party should have been one, pretty clear indication. Instead of better understanding her stepdaughter and trying to build a relationship they both enjoy, she has attempted to force a traditional daughter role on her. All too often, people make assumptions about what others feel and want, which, at best, breeds resentment.

Some commenters note that it would almost appear that she organized the party for herself, although this might be a reach. What is more telling is the utter inability to understand why her stepdaughter felt and acted the way she did. Later, the stepmother states that she was told the stepdaughter had social anxiety. However, how did she not realize this after multiple years together?

This event should have been a learning moment for the stepmother, for her to truly sit down and think about what she wanted and what it would cost, no pun intended. The fact that she was hurt and embarrassed doesn’t change the fact that she almost single handedly created this situation herself.

Some folks needed more info

Reddit comments discussing a stepdaughter running away from a party thrown for her.

Reddit comments discussing a woman's stepdaughter running away from a costly party.

Reddit discussion on stepdaughter running away from a $10K party thrown for her.

Text box with comments discussing upset woman and her stepdaughter running away from a $10K party.

Reddit post discussing a stepdaughter running away from an expensive party thrown by her stepmother.

Readers mostly thought the stepmom went too far

Comment discussing upset woman over stepdaughter running away from party.

Comment criticizing a woman's decision for throwing a $10K party for her stepdaughter who dislikes parties.

Woman upset after stepdaughter leaves $10K party with 100 guests, Reddit comment explains reasons for daughter’s reaction.

Text exchange about a woman upset her stepdaughter ran from a $10K party she organized.

Text commentary about woman upset over stepdaughter leaving a party.

Reddit comment discussing strained stepmother-stepdaughter relationship dynamics.

Text screenshot discussing upset woman over stepdaughter leaving $10K party.

Later, she shared an update

A woman looking upset in a cozy, indoor setting, wearing a white sweater, with home decor in the background.

Image credits: seleznev_photos / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text update about stepdaughter leaving $10K party, reflecting on challenges and realizations about the event's intention.

Text about a woman sharing a disappointing birthday party experience involving a small gathering and a supermarket cake.

Text about a woman reflecting on her relationship with her stepdaughter, expressing love and feelings of being ignored.

Text message discussing woman's upset about stepdaughter with social anxiety leaving party.

Text conversation expressing disbelief over a stepdaughter’s actions at an expensive party.

Upset woman discusses expensive party bill with husband after stepdaughter leaves unexpectedly.

Text about a disagreement over finances for a $10K party and a stepdaughter's absence.

Text discussing a family argument over stepdaughter running away from a party.

Text about a woman upset over a stepdaughter leaving a $10K party she organized.

A family enjoying a meal together at home, featuring a man in a blue shirt with children at the table.

Image credits: monkeybusiness / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text message about no calls and seeing family dinner on social media.

Text about emotional family struggles and relationship dilemmas.

Image credits: Square_Indication_29

Commenters were not sympathetic

Comment criticizing a woman for throwing a $10K party for her stepdaughter, suggesting she play the victim role.

Comment questioning spending five figures on an unwanted party.

Text conversation about woman upset over stepdaughter running away from party she threw.

Online comment criticizing a woman for a party thrown for her stepdaughter.

Comment on woman upset over stepdaughter running away from party.

Reddit comment criticizing a woman for throwing an excessive party for her stepdaughter.

Text comment criticizing a woman for hosting a costly birthday party for her stepdaughter without consulting her husband.

Text from a discussion about a woman upset over her stepdaughter running away from a $10K party.

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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What do you think ?

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Royal Stray 1 week ago

1. Social anxiety is something very noticeable in people, at least if you actually care for them. 2. 5 figures for a party!? How is op a grown adult that bad with money 3. 7 years with this kid an OP still doesn't get that the kid isn't interested in a relationship. So OP forces the kid to get close to her (hugs her despite Lucy pushing her away physicall). 4. "Toby was inconsolable" yeah and it was all OP's fault, the marriage falling apart was OP's fault because she couldn't respect boundaries and got upset when her husband wouldn't force his daughter to get uncomfortable for the sake of a grown woman. WTF I hope this is fake, but I know people who think like this so unfortunately I don't think it is.

18points

BeesEelsAndPups 1 week ago

If the two aren't close, then I could easily see the step mom not being aware of the girl's social anxiety. But her throwing this party was clearly overstepping the boundary here. I am also Latino, and a girl's 15th birthday party is a big deal for sure (less so in my country than in North and Central American countries, but still big). But $10K on a party is bonkers. Asking the husband to pay when he wasn't involved in the decisions is also insane. I have a lot of difficulty with the whole situation here, and there are definitely some cultural touchstones. First the whole 15 year old party, OP should have discussed this with the husband before she through ANY party. The girl never accepting her as part of the family, for a Latino that would really hurt. We tend to have very large inclusive families, and while OP would never replace the mom, she would usually be seen as a kind of Aunty figure in our cultures. Being completely rejected offhand would be a huge issue for us.

2points

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G Bono 1 week ago

But she said she threw the party because her birthday party her husband threw for her was so disappointing. How she can wonder why they left the party, when OP knew the girl didn't want to celebrate it, makes OP clearly the AH here. Good for the husband for supporting his daughter.

12points

Orysha 1 week ago

I really hope this one is an exercise in creative writing and not a real person. She was already the as;shole at the beginning (she'll never replace this girls' mother and you can't make someone love you) but the update made it even worse.

11points

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