Option F: call off the wedding AND ask for compensation.

Did I read this somewhere else? If so, I understand why she might post it several times over and that is because she is distraught and deep down she knows she has to leave husband but she wants someone to push her over that edge.

Ohhhh, he took away her phonesie wonsie? What a strong parent he is. Any partner of his is going to be his daughters perpetual doormat in life. He will be alone, forever, or he will be married to some defenseless waif who can't understand she's being abused by him and his precious evil daughter. OP should run. Step kids like this do not get better when the parents are incompetent.

Cancell the wedding immediately the girl souds dangerous. I have a difficult stepdaughter and our relationship is still strained after over 30 years regardless of her father's efforts. It doesn't get better with time.

The kid spoke loud and clear. She does not want her dad to remarry. OP should walk away and take time for self care. That little demon will run her dad's life with an iron fist.

Although it’s an oft-repeated story, I love some of the responses for just how outlandishly idealistic they are. What particularly strikes me is the “counseling” option. With 50/50 custody & functional co-parenting, does anyone really believe the ex-wife who hates the fiancé is going to sign off on counseling?it’s so easy to create the narrative that the counseling is about forcing the daughter to like or obey the new step-mom, as impossible as it would be to accomplish such. The daughter doesn’t seem willing to go voluntarily & her mommy is gong to support her in this since she wants OP out of the picture anyway. As there also can’t be consequence for her actions to stepmom, given both parents come up with punishment & accountability, there’s absolutely zero option for resolution. If I were OP, I’d walk away shouting in every direction what the ex did to show why Alan will never take her back & id blast the hell out of the daughters actions. 12 is old enough to know better.

She should call upon her fairy godmother to magic her a dress and turn the kid into a pumpkin.

After dating a man with kids in my 20’s I learned the hard way that it isn’t for me. I’m sure I’ve missed out on some great experiences because of it and maybe some of my potential boyfriends with children had the potential to become my husband. I don’t regret avoiding the situation altogether. This is one situation where no matter how much you love someone and how much effort you are willing to put in the relationship, it will still come apart horribly and painfully.

She's getting it from her mom and mom not setting boundaries of respect for you as a co parent and a human being. Ask her flat out if this was her dress to a prom and you did that would it make it right to just be like "well your date to prom isn't gonna stick around so who cares about the prom dress?" She would prob say idc anyway. I'd call it off. Get the money back you can. And a 3 yr relationship into marriage that fast is a bit rushed honestly. Why? Because he deep down wants to show his ex he's a catch. He might not want to get back with his ex but this relationship marriage is totally too fast to have been something for you to share or make any bonds with his kid. Move on. And at least it wasn't the heritage dress she messed up. Mail it to her on her wedding day so she can remember how f****d up she was to someone getting married in her past.

Assuming this is real I'm just kind of wondering what kind of father to a 12yo marries a woman his daughter clearly hates? It's not like she's 18 and about to move out, but she is going to have her dad's GF/ Wife in her life for many years and should kind of be allowed a say. She's 100% behaving like a brat and shouldn't get away with it, but I think the dad should either have less custody or sit down and have a talk with his kid before it even got to this point

They're Not even living together! Child might grow up eventually but with a mother like that and a dad who's s**t at parenting, this childs behaviour, spiteful will be ongoing for Years. Wait til she has children..... Escape.

I'd tell Rose that she's the reason daddy will be alone and miserable for the rest of his life.

I hope she left him to deal with his psycho daughter alone. His daughter will neverv allow him to get remarried and be Hapoy. This guy needs to grow a spine and deal with his daughter’s psychotic and sociopathic behavior.

I wouldn't call off the wedding completely, but I would postpone it until EVERYONE has some therapy.

That girl needs her a*s torn up over everything she has done to this lady. Daddy let's her get by with c**p like her crazy Mommy does. There doesn't seem to be anybody that is making the kid mind and somebody better start now. You do c**p your little a*s is no punishment, no TV, no phone, no computer, no friends don't even ask. She also needs a shrink to try and help with her now. And for God's sake stop this gentle parenting BS because you can see the result in this mean jealous brat! Definitely give him a copy of the bill for the dress

My advice is to stop posting variations on the same story every few weeks. I know it may be hard to come up with original ideas when writing fiction, but get high and try.

1: They are a package deal. That kid is a dealbreaker. 2. Alan was p-whipped by his wife and is being p-whipped by his 12-year-old daughter. You cannot marry a man who has no b*****.

I would have the little brat arrested for vandalism!! Let the judge make her pay restitution and get some therapy. Maybe let her stew in Juvvie during the wedding.l don’t think it’s the dad’s fault. The mother has been stoking this hatred. This is a tricky subject- If op calls off the wedding the brat wins. If she really loves this man then go ahead and get married, but I wouldn’t allow that kid anywhere near their home, especially unsupervised

I don't understand how people can get married without living together before ! How do you want a child to understand the relationship is serious if their father doesn't live with their future stepmother ? How do you want to have any good relationship in those conditions ? Real story or not, the question remains...

Rose is right - OP is not gonna last. I am stunned that a landslide majority of people are recommending that OP calls it quits. Rose is 12. It sounds like Dad is doing a decent job of co-parenting and being a supportive spouse. OP sounds like she has the right attitude and reasonable understanding of what step parenting entails -patience is imperative. The destruction of a wedding dress one week before the big day is guaranteed to emotionally devastate the bride. Shock, sadness, followed by rage is expected, however such an emotional state puts one at risk of making rash decisions. It is gonna be tough to get past this in such short time, especially replacing the dress. Nobody could have seen this coming...such is parenthood. Welcome To Thunderdome!!! Ask any parent, the unexpected, unthinkable, absolutely horrible, WTF? Is going to happen at the worst possible time. Kids do dumb sh!t. Rose needs to be made responsible for what she has done and should be punished. OP get it together.

"Dinner was ready and I went to get rose. I passed my bedroom door and something about the way the sliding closet door was positioned made me want to check." Lines from a Gothic Romance novel...