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Stepmom Asks To Be Paid $100 A Night For When Fiancé’s Son Is At Theirs, Gets A Reality Check
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Stepmom Asks To Be Paid $100 A Night For When Fiancé’s Son Is At Theirs, Gets A Reality Check

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We all want what’s best for our kids and try to make sure they have everything they need to grow up happy and healthy.

But, as many parents will tell you, making that happen often requires more than just good intentions—it also takes money.

This mom knew that all too well, having raised her 5-year-old son mostly on her own, with little support from his father. Recently, though, the dad decided to step up and spend more time with their child. But just as things were improving, his fiancée dropped an unexpected demand: she insisted that the mom pay $200 for the visits.

Needless to say, that didn’t go over well and sparked quite the family drama.

More info: Reddit

Having raised her son mostly on her own, the woman welcomed the idea of his dad spending more time with him

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo) 

What she didn’t expect was his fiancée asking her to pay $200 for each visit

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Image credits: Gerardo Manzano / Pexels (not the actual photo) 

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Image credits: Jazzlike_Seaweed466

Image credits: Gustavo Fring / Pexels (not the actual photo) 

Experts and parents share tips for positive co-parenting

Raising kids after separating from a partner is no easy task. But if both adults are willing to stay involved, it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Experts and co-parents offer plenty of tips on how to make it a more positive experience.

“Co-parents are no longer in a couple but are committed to being a proactive and active parent and part of their children’s lives,” says Dee Holmes, Senior Practice Consultant at Relate. “The child might be with one parent more than the other, but both will be very much active in decision making.”

Of course, this doesn’t mean both parents will always agree. But it’s important to put the child first and stay flexible in your approach. For instance, if conflicts arise over who takes care of the child on a weekend, be open to adjusting plans. “If you dig your heels in and say no, or if you get into an argument about swapping weekends, that can leave your child feeling that no one wants them,” says Holmes.

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As obvious as it sounds, make communication a priority. “We prefer talking on the phone rather than over text,” shares Mhairi, who co-parents her two daughters with her ex, Ndaba. “There have been times when we’ve been messaging, and we’ve got into a bit of a dispute. Your tone of voice is very different in text messages. We’ll call and explain what we actually meant, and then everything is fine.”

Both parents also have a responsibility to stay informed about what’s going on in their children’s lives and to keep schedules clear and organized. “The not knowing is what is difficult for children,” says Holmes. “If they are going to be spending their time at both your homes, work with your ex-partner to make sure your child knows where they will be and when.”

If you find it challenging to communicate directly without fighting, it can help to have a neutral third party involved, such as a friend or family member. “Try and be understanding towards each other,” says Ndaba. “You’re not always going to see eye to eye, and at those moments take a step back and give the other person some time.”

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On that note, practice kindness—for the sake of both your happiness and your child’s. “I have the girls during the week and Ndaba has them on Sunday, but he helps me out a lot as well if I’m not feeling great or if I need a break,” Mhairi says.

“We’ll always be in each other’s lives because of the girls,” adds Ndaba. “Even though we’re not in a relationship anymore, we can still be friends.”

Commenters agreed the mom was right not to pay and encouraged her to seek child support

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Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

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Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Read less »

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! Stepmother from Hell, wanting the OP to PAY for the time his DAD makes an effort to (finally) form a relationship with him. Also, he has hardly worked (from what she's said) - and had ANOTHER child in the meantime? How did that work, financially? OP should definitely claim CS, even if this bitching wasn't occurring. It takes 2 to have a kid, and her son is only 5 years old, and it doesn't get easier over time, financially. In the end, it's a benefit for the child.

BeesEelsAndPups
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the Step Mom here really just wants the father to disown the child, and she's doing this to hamper his ability to spend time with him. I've seen this before. I have a friend whose mother died soon after he was born. When his father remarried, the step mother demanded that he not bring his then 8 year old child with him, as he was from a prior relationship. So my friend was left homeless at 8 years old. To be clear, I blame the father as much as the step mother, if not more, since his child is his responsibility. For me, that's reason enough to terminate the relationship with the new woman. But so it goes

Load More Replies...
Sand Ers
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anybody else get the feeling that the dad is going to have 2 exes in a fairly short period of time?

Nemo
Community Member
1 day ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Absolutely not. OP send him screenshots and he said he didn't know about what "stepmom" said. Dad then talked to "stepmom" and came back to OP saying things like: "you want to break us up, you're jealous, "stepmom" doesn't need to babysit his kid". He believes everything "stepmom" said without looking at the facts and doesn't have the backbone to get divorced

Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"stepmother" is making ridiculous claims. Biological mom even though she can support her child and she has done so for the last four and a half years, should start collecting child support from biological father now that he is financially able to pay more than just a dribble ($7 a month that she was entitled to earlier hardly seems worth it does it?) Screenshot all evidence of biological father's partners attempts to massacre your credibility/reputation as well as all texts and emails. Bring to social worker / lawyer/judge. Not sure what this will accomplish but, document everything. Biological dad may lose rights to keep son 4 days a month, but that will be because of his partner. She is not providing a safe and loving home for this child if all she sees him as is a cash cow who should earn them $100 a night

Load More Comments
StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! Stepmother from Hell, wanting the OP to PAY for the time his DAD makes an effort to (finally) form a relationship with him. Also, he has hardly worked (from what she's said) - and had ANOTHER child in the meantime? How did that work, financially? OP should definitely claim CS, even if this bitching wasn't occurring. It takes 2 to have a kid, and her son is only 5 years old, and it doesn't get easier over time, financially. In the end, it's a benefit for the child.

BeesEelsAndPups
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the Step Mom here really just wants the father to disown the child, and she's doing this to hamper his ability to spend time with him. I've seen this before. I have a friend whose mother died soon after he was born. When his father remarried, the step mother demanded that he not bring his then 8 year old child with him, as he was from a prior relationship. So my friend was left homeless at 8 years old. To be clear, I blame the father as much as the step mother, if not more, since his child is his responsibility. For me, that's reason enough to terminate the relationship with the new woman. But so it goes

Load More Replies...
Sand Ers
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anybody else get the feeling that the dad is going to have 2 exes in a fairly short period of time?

Nemo
Community Member
1 day ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Absolutely not. OP send him screenshots and he said he didn't know about what "stepmom" said. Dad then talked to "stepmom" and came back to OP saying things like: "you want to break us up, you're jealous, "stepmom" doesn't need to babysit his kid". He believes everything "stepmom" said without looking at the facts and doesn't have the backbone to get divorced

Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"stepmother" is making ridiculous claims. Biological mom even though she can support her child and she has done so for the last four and a half years, should start collecting child support from biological father now that he is financially able to pay more than just a dribble ($7 a month that she was entitled to earlier hardly seems worth it does it?) Screenshot all evidence of biological father's partners attempts to massacre your credibility/reputation as well as all texts and emails. Bring to social worker / lawyer/judge. Not sure what this will accomplish but, document everything. Biological dad may lose rights to keep son 4 days a month, but that will be because of his partner. She is not providing a safe and loving home for this child if all she sees him as is a cash cow who should earn them $100 a night

Load More Comments
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