Having a messy house can be kind of cute and endearing. A lived-in place can make a house truly feel like a home as compared to a very sanitized and super clean space. But, as with everything, there are extremes to messiness that aren’t so cute. An extremely messy house is not fun to visit at all.

A woman found this out the hard way when she agreed to stay at an old friend’s place. The sights and smells that greeted her made her regret her decision, and she could not wait to escape from the house.

More info: Mumsnet

Woman is met with shocking levels of messiness when she turns up at her friend’s home, says it’s enough to make her cry

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

A lady and her kids were taking a trip across the country when an old friend reached out and asked her to stay at her home to break up the journey

Image credits: Eco Bear Biohazard Cleaning Company (not the actual photo)

The woman was excited to connect with her friend and have their kids hang out, but when she got to the house, she was shocked by how messy it was

Image credits: Wellthisiss**tty

There was mold on the food, horrid smells, everything was food-encrusted, and too many things were on the floor, which made her feel like she couldn’t stay there

The woman was shocked by the state in which she found her friend’s home. She mentioned that the smells were terrible, and there was cat poop overflowing from the litterbox. Most of the furniture and some items were covered with food. Even the food had mold, which made her sure she didn’t want to risk eating anything. She planned to take her kids out to eat instead, and she told commenters, “they were always a little bit untidy but nothing like this.”

Some research shows that messiness could be related to personality traits. People who aren’t bothered by untidy rooms may not make much of an effort to clean up. This often stems from childhood behaviors, but sometimes, it can also be related to mental health. This is why Bored Panda reached out to Arya Prasad, a counseling psychologist and an arts-based therapy practitioner. She works with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, stress, adjustment, and relational issues, and uses trauma-informed therapy and art-based therapy practices.

Arya mentioned that “hoarding or inability to keep one’s home clean could be a sign of a few mental health conditions. It could show up as a symptom of depression, where there may be a lack of energy and motivation to keep one’s surroundings clean. Or anxiety, where individuals may fear that they may [be required] to store objects in the present to use them in the future, among other diagnoses. People experiencing complex grief may be unable to let the objects of their past go, which could lead to a lot of accumulation in their spaces.”

Depression is a strong contributing factor to messiness. People who struggle with this disorder may find it tough to concentrate and commit to tasks, and they may also feel fatigued easily, all of which can make it hard to keep their spaces clean. Since the poster did not know the reason behind her friend’s untidyness, people online urged her to talk to the other woman gently. They were worried that the couple’s children might be exposed to many health hazards while staying in the house. 

Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

Mental health conditions could bring about messiness, and it also works the other way around. Studies have shown that women who viewed their homes as cluttered had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol throughout the day than women who described their homes as well-organized. A chronically untidy home can also impact one’s social life and relationships by discouraging guests from visiting.

Just like the poster was afraid to stay at her friend’s house, other people may not like going to very messy homes. Some netizens told the woman to escape from the house by saying she had a cat allergy. She laughingly responded that she would “if only I didn’t have two cats of my own!”

In this case, the poster probably didn’t feel like confronting her friend about her messy behavior, but discussing this issue with loved ones can be helpful. Especially if a person struggles with cleanliness due to poor mental health, they might need support. Arya shared a few tips people could use if they felt their friend or family member’s messiness was due to mental health struggles. She said:

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• “Talk to your friend gently and kindly about your concerns. Mention that not having clean spaces could affect one’s life negatively. 
• Offer to help clean their place and create systems in the house so that basic cleanliness may be followed. This could look like having specific areas where things like groceries, utensils, clothes, and laundry could go. 
• Ask them if they’d like to approach a mental health professional with their concerns. There could be other things that may be a concern for them, apart from cleaning, which should be addressed for improved wellbeing.”

When it comes to people’s homes and personal habits, it can be extremely tough to bring up the subject of untidiness. Some people shy away from the topic, like the poster who decided to book a place to stay for the night rather than camp out at her friend’s place. Maybe she could broach the subject later. What would you have done if you were in her place? Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever encountered someone so messy or if you’ve ever been that person.

Concerned netizens told the poster to call social services because they feared for the safety of the woman’s kids due to such hazardous living conditions

Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

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