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Man Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted That
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Man Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted That

Man Reminds His Wife She Chose To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom After She Complains Of Being TiredMan Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted ThatWoman Wants To Be Stay-At-Home Mom, Man Instructs Her To Not Complain About ‘Job’ ResponsibilitiesWife’s Too Tired To Get The Baby After Night Out, Husband Reminds Her It’s Her Stay-At-Home Mom JobWoman Complains About Being Tired After A Night Out, Man Reminds Her She Chose To Be A SAHM Man Asks If He Was Wrong To Say ‘That’s The Job You Chose’ About Motherhood To His Wife Man Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted ThatMan Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted ThatMan Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted ThatMan Tells Wife Not To Complain About Her Stay-At-Home Mom Responsibilities As She Wanted That
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Having a newborn is bound to cause some disturbance in every household. That’s why properly communicating and deciding each person’s role in the baby’s care is an incredibly important task. When these roles aren’t properly communicated, everything can fall apart very fast if anyone feels that they have way more or way less of these responsibilities than they expected. Today’s story is a perfect example of that — a couple who had very different views on what it is like to have one person as a stay-at-home parent, which caused an ugly conflict.

More info: Reddit 

When deciding the responsibilities of having a newborn baby people need to have realistic expectations, or the situation can become ugly very quickly

Image credits: Jonathan Borba  (not the actual photo)

Stay-at-home mom gets angry at her husband, as she is the one who has to take care of the baby, both during the day and the majority of nights

Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: u/[deleted]

Man says she chose to be in this position and shouldn’t complain if she doesn’t want to go back to work, making the stay-at-home mom angry

The OP has been with his wife for a total of 5 years, married for 2 of them. About 5 months ago, they had their first child. The wife said she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so the husband agreed. Even though he knew that back in the day, she expressed a wish to be a stay-at-home wife, he soon rejected that idea after he told her that she would have to do everything around the house. So, he let her know that when she recovers after birth, she’ll have to do some chores around the house since she’s the one staying at home.

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Now, since the baby has been born, he wakes up in the middle of the night a lot. If the OP doesn’t have work the next day at his job of 12-hour shifts, he gets up to take care of him. Sometimes, he does that even if he has work the next day.

A few nights before the man became the Reddit post’s author, his wife went out with her friends for the first time in a while. In the meantime, he took care of their baby. When she came back, she woke up the baby, and he started to cry. So, the man asked his wife to get their son because he had a big day at work in the morning.

The wife refused to do so, stating that she was also tired. Her refusal resulted in the couple’s argument, which ended with the OP getting the baby while the wife ate dinner. Additionally, the woman started wondering why the husband takes care of the baby only during some nights while she does that every day and the majority of nights.

The man’s response was that it was the job she chose (being a stay-at-home mom). After all, it’s a 24-hour job. The wife got mad, saying she didn’t know what she was signing up for. So, after some back-and-forth, the husband offered for the wife to go back to work and split childcare 50/50. This idea didn’t please her, and she got even madder. So, the man came on Reddit to ask if he was wrong for saying what he did.

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Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

To this, a lot of people online answered that they believe that the issues in this relationship go way further than just childcare responsibilities. Neither of the people from the story are jerks, as both of them have unrealistic expectations about parenting and each other’s responsibilities. 

On that note, some stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) came to the comments to voice how they understand this position. A lot of them stated that being a SAHM includes household responsibilities and taking care of the child during the night. At the same time, even stay-at-home moms need breaks sometimes, too. That’s where their partners should step in. 

According to Apryl Duncan, the level of responsibilities of stay-at-home moms can vary. Still, the basic definition of the position includes both childcare and household care. That suggests that, unlike the stereotypes, SAHMs don’t stay at home watching soap operas and barely doing anything. Being a stay-at-home mom is a 24-hour job, just like the Reddit post’s OP said. 

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So, just as netizens did, we wish that this couple improves their communication skills. Communicating expectations is an important thing that lets people avoid such pointless fights like the one they had. After all, such fights can often lead to something more serious, and, well, that doesn’t sound pleasant at all.

Internet folks are pretty sure the couple are in need of improving their communication skills and managing their expectations of each other

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Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

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Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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INGI
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"When I assign her chores..." Yeah. He lost me there. He seems pretty controlling and like he thinks he's living in 1954. Being a SAHM (or dad) is a HUGE adjustment. So many red flags on both sides. This is a disaster in the making.

Marnie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normally, I would agree. But I get the impression that the wife really wasn't very responsible before the baby. I think it's okay for the husband to say, "If you stay home, you WILL have to do some work." I mean, it wouldn't be fair otherwise. Now, if he just started with that for no reason - if she had been a fair partner before, then it would be controlling and not okay. He's setting up expectations, without which, she's not going to do her part and just spend money all day, if we can believe him.

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Jared Robinson
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like neither of you are mature enough to take care of an infant.

ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They’re not on Bored Panda. When you comment directly to them with “you” you’re speaking to a Reddit post BP has replicated and editorialized. Just want to make sure you know they won’t ever see your comment, but would if you click the link to the original post. - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/195nrs9/aitah_for_telling_my_wife_thats_the_job_you_chose/

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INGI
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"When I assign her chores..." Yeah. He lost me there. He seems pretty controlling and like he thinks he's living in 1954. Being a SAHM (or dad) is a HUGE adjustment. So many red flags on both sides. This is a disaster in the making.

Marnie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normally, I would agree. But I get the impression that the wife really wasn't very responsible before the baby. I think it's okay for the husband to say, "If you stay home, you WILL have to do some work." I mean, it wouldn't be fair otherwise. Now, if he just started with that for no reason - if she had been a fair partner before, then it would be controlling and not okay. He's setting up expectations, without which, she's not going to do her part and just spend money all day, if we can believe him.

Load More Replies...
Jared Robinson
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like neither of you are mature enough to take care of an infant.

ॐBoyGanesh
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They’re not on Bored Panda. When you comment directly to them with “you” you’re speaking to a Reddit post BP has replicated and editorialized. Just want to make sure you know they won’t ever see your comment, but would if you click the link to the original post. - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/195nrs9/aitah_for_telling_my_wife_thats_the_job_you_chose/

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