No matter one’s heritage, everyone loves a good St. Patrick’s Day celebration. Whether you’re looking forward to St. Patty’s Day to get your hands on Krispy Creme’s Luck O’ the Rainbow Doughnut, McDonald’s Oreo Shamrock McFlurry, or the most excellent selection of Irish beers, the day is essentially about having fun while sporting an all-green outfit and donning a shamrock derby hat (a must). However, before buying your green screen suit, there’s one more thing you must equip yourself with, and that is funny St. Patrick’s Day jokes!
Although St. Patty’s day has come to be known to be more adult-oriented (primarily for its vast consumption of alcoholic drinks), it’s still a much-beloved holiday among kids. There are usually many fun activities planned for kids, such as decorating cookies, joining a parade, or going on a St. Patty’s Day scavenger hunt. So, whether you celebrate with your family or friends, St. Patrick’s Day jokes will crack up revelers of any age. Hence, we invite you to embrace your inner leprechaun this year and be a little silly. How? By cracking a ton of hilarious St. Patrick’s Day jokes that will have you and your fellow leprechauns Dublin over with laughter! Also, whether you are looking for St. Patrick’s Day jokes for kids or grownups, we’ve got you clovered.
Below, we’ve compiled a list of some of the most hilarious St. Patty’s Day jokes, including leprechaun jokes, puns about Guinness, shamrocks, rainbows, Ireland, and all things green! Any St. Patrick’s Day joke made you collapse into gales of laughter? Give it an upvote! Also, do you know of any more jokes about St. Patty’s Day? If so, share them in the comments!
What’s Dwayne Johnson’s Irish nickname?
The Sham-Rock.
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What do you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail?
A lepre-con.
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Why do leprechauns hate running?
They’d rather jig than jog.
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Because real rocks are too heavy.
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When does Valentine’s Day come after Saint Patrick’s Day?
In the dictionary.
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Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
You might press your luck!
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"Knock, knock."
"Who’s there?"
"Irish."
"Irish who?"
"Irish stew in the name of the law."
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What do you call an Irish spider?
Paddy long legs.
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Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too far to walk.
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When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
When it’s a French fry.
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Why does the River Shannon have so much money in it?
Because it has two banks.
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How do you pay for soft drinks on Saint Patty’s Day?
With soda bread.
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What instrument does a showoff play on St. Patrick’s Day?
Brag-pipes.
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How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
He's Dublin over with laughter.
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What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation?
A lot of small talk.
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What does Ireland have more of than any other country?
Irishmen.
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What is Irish and left on the lawn?
Paddy O’Furniture.
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What’s the name of a popular Irish dance move?
The shamrock shake.
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How is a good friend like a four-leaf clover?
They are hard to find.
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Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day?
They’re always wearing green.
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What do Irishmen say when you tell them Bono is your favorite singer?
"You too?"
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Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
In a little league.
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What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonald’s?
A Shamrock shake.
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What did one shamrock say to the other when it saw a leprechaun?
"Look clover there."
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What do you call a leprechaun prank?
A saint pat-trick.
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What's small, lucky, and green all over?
A leprechaun who recycles.
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Jameson on St. Patrick's Day?
It's worth a shot.
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What type of bow cannot be tied?
A rainbow.
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What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music?
Sham-rock ‘n’ roll.
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What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day?
Boos.
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When does a leprechaun cross the street?
When it turns green.
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What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
"Lucky Charms."
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What’s the best position for leprechauns to play on a baseball team?
Shortstop.
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How does a leprechaun work out?
By pushing his luck.
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What does a leprechaun call a man wearing green?
A green giant.
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What do you call a leprechaun’s vacation home?
A lepre-condo.
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Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
To keep from falling into the stew.
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How did the leprechaun go to the moon?
In a sham-rocket.
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How did the leprechaun win the race?
He took a shortcut.
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How did the Irish Jig get started?
Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms.
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How can you spot a jealous shamrock?
It will be green with envy.
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Why can't Irish golfers ever end a game?
They refuse to leave the green.
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What did the naughty leprechaun get for Christmas?
A pot of coal.
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What do you call a bad Irish dance?
A jig mistake.
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What should you say to someone running a St. Patty’s Day marathon?
"Irish you luck."
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Who is St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?
The Green Lantern.
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What do leprechauns barbecue on St. Patrick’s Day?
Short ribs.
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What did the Irish potato say to his sweetheart?
"I only have eyes for you."
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Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow?
To get to the other side.
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What is a nuahcerpel?
Leprechaun spelled backward.
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"Knock, knock."
"Who’s there?"
"Irish."
"Irish I could find a four-leaf clover."
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What’s the perfect St. Patty’s Day breakfast?
Green eggs and ham.
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What’s an Irish baby’s favorite song?
Patty Cake.
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What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?
Grape Britain.
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Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup?
Because he already had a pot of gold.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a nomad with a lucky charm?
A four-leave rover.
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What's the difference between wisdom and luck?
One is clever. The other is clover.
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You know you overdid it on St. Patrick's Day when you think you're kissing the Blarney Stone and then it kisses back.
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Why did the leprechaun go outside?
To sit on his paddy-o.
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What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
St. O’Claus.
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What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
"Game clover."
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What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?
A streprechaun.
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What did one Irish ghost say to the other?
Top O’ the moaning to ya.
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What’s long and green and only shows up once a year?
The St. Patrick’s Day parade.
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Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
They like to "go" first-class.
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Why do leprechauns dislike leftovers?
They prefer left-clovers.
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What did the leprechaun put in the vending machine?
A lepre-coin.
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What do you call environmentally conscious leprechauns?
Wee-cyclers.
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Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
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What job did the leprechaun have at the restaurant?
He was the short-order cook.
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What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse is going barefoot.
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Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?
Because they have green thumbs.
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What would St. Patrick order to drink at a Chinese restaurant?
Green tea.
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Why are leprechauns hard to get along with?
They are short-tempered.
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"Knock, knock."
"Who’s there?"
"Saint."
"Saint who?"
"Saint no time for questions, open the door!"
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What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
A potty gold.
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What did the leprechaun tell his neighbor on March 17?
"Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day."
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Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins?
Because they’re green.
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How do leprechauns celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?
By holding a lepreconcert.
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Why do leprechauns make great secretaries?
They’re good at shorthand.
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Which dog breed should you invite to your St. Patrick’s Day party?
An Irish Setter.
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What happens when a leprechaun falls into the Irish Sea?
He gets wet.
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What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A little man having a hopping good time.
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"Knock, knock."
"Who’s there?"
"Potto."
"Potto who?"
"Potto gold."
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"Knock, knock."
"Who’s there?"
"Cora."
"Cora who?"
"Coran beef and cabbage."
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What does it mean if you find a four-leaf clover?
That you have too much time on your hands.
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What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patrick’s Day?
"You’re very clover!"
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What are the best shoes to wear on St. Patrick's Day?
Lepre-converse.
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What do you call a great photo on St. Patrick's Day?
Pitcher-perfect.
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What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox?
A lepper-chaun!
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Why don’t you iron four-leaf clovers?
Because you don’t want to press your luck.
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What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls?
Rick O’Shay.
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