What’s the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?

Seasoning.

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Haru

Haru

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1 year ago

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This made me kinda hungry

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How do bees brush their hair?

With honeycombs.

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Haru

Haru

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1 year ago

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Today I learned that bees have hair

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Lucas Bramwell

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1 year ago

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me too

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Sad Quokka

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1 year ago

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I didn't know bees had hair to be honest

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Why are waterbeds so bouncy?

They’re filled with spring water.

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Sad Quokka

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1 year ago

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Mine must be mountain water then

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How can you tell the weather’s getting warmer?

There’s a spring in people’s step.

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Haru

Haru

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1 year ago

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I don't see it 🤨

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When is it impossible to plant flowers?

When you haven’t botany.

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What do you call a rabbit with flees?

Bugs Bunny.

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Well-Dressed Wolf

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1 year ago

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“Flees”?

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Name a bow that can’t be tied.

A rainbow.

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Which superhero likes spring the best?

Robin.

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What did summer say to spring?

"Help – I’m about to fall!"

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What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A baseball team.

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KENOBI

KENOBI

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1 year ago

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Lol as a baseball player this is the best baseball joke I have ever heard

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Why is 'Star Wars' Yoda such a good gardener?

He has a green thumb.

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Rachel M

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1 year ago

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Green thumb, he has. Is a better punchline.

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What do gardeners wear on their legs?

Garden hose.

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Which bird should you never let into a jewelry store?

A robin.

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Why was the bee mad?

You’d be mad too if someone stole your honey and nectar.

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What kind of tree has hands?

A palm tree.

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What do you get when you push a bunch of Easter eggs down a hill?

Spring rolls.

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Mike Kooring

Mike Kooring

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1 year ago

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Scrambled eggs

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Why is the letter A like a flower?

Because a B comes after it!

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KENOBI

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Lol environmental jokes am I right

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Why did the farmer bury his money?

To make his soil rich!

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KENOBI

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Too bad I don’t know where his money is buried because I would dig it up

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What would be a gardener’s favorite Beatles song?

Lettuce Be.

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Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

She’s having her babies in the spring.

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It’s allergy season again?!

You’ve got to be pollen my leg.

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Should I plant flowers in April?

May as well!

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In all of spring, it can rain cats and dogs, but when does it rain monkeys?

In Ape-ril.

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Why did the worm cross the ruler?

To become an inch worm.

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What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?

Prankenstein.

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What beverage does a tree drink the most?

Root beer!

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What falls but never gets hurt?

The rain.

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Mike Kooring

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1 year ago

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Any child

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What is Spring’s favorite appetizer?

A bloomin’ onion!

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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Sad Quokka

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Titter

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What do trees wear to all pool parties?

Swimming trunks.

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How do trees get onto the internet?

They just log on!

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How do succulents confess their feelings?

“Aloe you vera much!”

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What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global Worming.

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Does February march?

No, but April may!

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When’s the best time to wash your Slinky?

During spring cleaning.

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How do you plant a kiss in spring?

With two lips.

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What did the seed say to the flower?

"Ok, Bloomer!"

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Why couldn’t the little flower ride a bike?

It didn’t have any petals.

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How do brand-new spring flowers greet each other?

“Hey, bud!”

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What’s the best flower for a boy to give on Mother’s Day?

A son-flower.

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Did you hear about the flower who went on a date with another flower?

It’s a budding romance.

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How can you tell spring flowers are friendly?

They always have new buds.

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Which month is the politest when asking questions?

The month of May.

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Sad Quokka

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May I?

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What did the tree say during springtime?

“Well, this is a re-leaf!”

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"Did you know we prank one another on April 1?"

"Yes, I’m fooly aware!"

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How does the sun listen to music?

On the ray-dio.

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What goes up when the rain goes down?

Umbrellas.

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Mike Kooring

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1 year ago

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My depression

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Why did the gardener plant a seed in the pond?

To grow a water-melon.

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Why is the strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam!

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What happens when you tell an egg a joke?

It cracks up.

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"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Worm!"

"Worm who?"

"Worm in here, isn’t it?"

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What does a flower bomb sound like?

"Kabloom."

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What makes some plants better at math than others?

Square roots!

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What can you find in the middle of April and March but not at the beginning or end of either?

The letter R!

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What did the dirt say to the rain?

You’d better cut it out, or my name will be mud!

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The bed store is having a spring sale. Unfortunately, the rest of the beds are still full price.

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I just opened a flower shop. Business is blooming.

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Did you hear the one about the gardener who couldn’t wait for spring?

He was so excited, he wet his plants!

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What do you call a bear caught in a spring shower?

A drizzly bear.

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Can bees fly in the rain?

Sure, if they wear yellow jackets!

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"Did you see that all the snow and ice are melting?"

"Yes, I thaw!"

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When it starts raining ducks and chickens, that’s some fowl weather.

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What season is it best to go on a trampoline?

Spring time.

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What do you call a well-dressed king of the jungle?

A dandy lion!

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What did the older flower say to the younger flower?

"You’re really growing there, bud!"

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What is spring’s favorite type of pickles?

Daffo-dills!

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What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?

"Cheer up!"

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"Did you meet that mushroom over there, I hear he’s the life of the party?"

"He’s a pretty fun-gi!"

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Why are oak trees so forgiving?

Every spring they turn over a new leaf.

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"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Butter."

"Butter who?"

"Butter bring an umbrella, it’s raining!"

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"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Swarm."

"Swarm who?"

"Swarm outside!"

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"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Rover!"

"Rover who?"

"Rover the rainbow!"

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"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Beezer."

"Beezer who?"

"Beezer buzzing, it must be spring."

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What is a tree’s favorite dinosaur?

The Tree-rex.

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Mike Kooring

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None. Some of them eat the trees

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What did the small palm tree say when its big brother was teasing it?

“Leaf me alone.”

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Why are maple trees so forgiving?

Every Fall they “Let It Go”.

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What is the chick’s favorite vegetable?

Eggplants.

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Did you hear about the pogo stick made out of plants?

It’s made of spring onions!

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"I dropped a bottle of spring water into a pool. It turned into a trampoline."

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What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?

One with a hoppy ending!

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"Where do flowers go when they get pollinated too early in the spring?"

"Plant parenthood."

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"My wife turns on the alarm even when we are all home enjoying a quiet spring evening. I think she is unnecessarily alarmist."

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"Spring has officially arrived in Ontario. The Leafs are out."

CranberrySuitable142 Report

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"What's a dinosaur's least favorite part of spring?"

"The Easteroid showers!"

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"Why do h**s love spring?"

"It's Summer's Eve."

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"How do trees feel in the Spring?"

"Relieved."

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"Me and my partner were doing some spring cleaning. All the chores had piled up over winter. There were so many tasks to complete so we decided to split them up. She told me to do the living room and bedroom because there was more to do there and she would take the kitchen. I said 'man... I got 99 problems but a dish ain't one.'"

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"Why do doctors hate popular Instagram accounts that only post in the spring?"

"Because they're seasonal influencers!"

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"What does the writer suffer from each spring?"

"A case of allegories."

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"There’s 5 seasons that exists. Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring, and Tax Season."

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"My dad owns 4 tents which he uses for camping. He uses all 4 at different times of the year, and each one is based on 1 of 4 different musical genres. In spring he uses the jazz tent, in summer he uses the pop tent, in autumn he uses the classical tent. But now is the winter of our disco tent."

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"Joke song titles from the 60s folk scene. If I had to do it again, I do it all over you. If this mattress breaks, we’ll meet in the spring."

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"Why doesn’t Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring?"

"Because of Mayweather."

MrMojoRisin1222 Report

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"What do you call a Spanish spring (river) that doesn't move?"

"Geyser Permanente."

DemonDays777 Report

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"Who is the only Irishman that comes out in the Spring?"

"Patty O’Furniture."

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"I can never tell the difference between spring and winter. In autumnal, I can't tell the difference between the seasons."

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"When I was a kid, we were so poor I had to bathe in the spring. When money was good, I'd bathe in the fall too."

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"What's the best part about clown college spring break?"

"Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car."

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