The point is, she set up boundaries and he ignored them. She told him not to do her laundry he repeatedly ignored it. Also, if you're a 40-something-year-old man who lives with his partner, you don't walk into her 18-year-old daughter's room unannounced and without knocking. You just don't. Again, everyone who ways YTA should touch grass.

NTA. If she had time to find and unlock the pepper spray, he was IN her room longer than an ‘oops, sorry didn’t realize you were in here’ accident. If she had to drag him out, he made his way inside the room while she was dressing. Those are super ped-o moves. Get out of there and take the sister with you.

He definitely should have knocked, however the reaction seems over the top. Especially because she has not written what is actually creeping her out with this guy.

Ok, so this post was deemed fake and the account has been suspended. OP has a history of karma farming via posts intended to grab sympathy and/or stir up debate. They have made similar posts saying they were going to fill her room with guns given by her grandfather, that she was so proficient in judo that she was thinking of joining the Olympic team, etc. She also has a history of trying to bury any inconvenient questions. Questions such as being in the confined space of a bedroom wasn't she affected by the pepper spray, how was she able to effectively yell at him, etc. And wouldn't she have had to temporarily move out of the room for awhile while it was cleaned & pepper spray removed from all of the cloth surfaces.

Why do i get the impression that the guy was set up and she was waiting with the pepper spray in hand, also doesn't help that angry dad is also fueling her teen rage. Not condoning his actions of entering their personal space without permission, but i think someone was a little too happy in macing, dragging and shouting at said target

This is deliberately missing too many key notes to determine whether she behaved in an appropriate manner. It reads like she made herself into an ambush, knowing he had some pretext to come in. (was he dropping off laundry, did not know she was there, etc)

Forced to call be on this one. This person has obviously never used pepper spray, especially in an enclosed space.

Everyone who believes this story actually happened is TA.

First of all, the haters who said your actions were wrong are either males or abused women. Second, INFORM YOUR FATHER NOW/TODAY. Third, call 311 and talk to a cop. Clearly your mother is not concerned about your safety or your baby sister's, so you have to be the grown-up. It's not fair but it's obviously necessary. Alert your father: You're older & may be moving out in future, which means sis has no voice, no advocacy. I'm so sorry. You're being forced to protect yourself and sissy. It may well be time to move in with Dad, both you girls. Now that you sprayed him, his deviance will be dialed up. Please...you must be prepared. And you are the hero of the story, and for your younger sister too. Sorry for this pressure and responsibility. But your Mom is in denial and afraid of losing a man who won't work - LOTS OF RED FLAGS she's refused to see. That leaves you. Be brave - get out of there and take sissy with you. That's why I'm strongly encouraging you to call Dad, cops, CPS.

When I first got married, my wife had a 14 year old daughter. I wouldn't have dreamt of going into her room without specific permission. Not that I can think of a reason to anyway.

Impossible to really know for sure without having met them or seen them interact but I'm going with not the A-hole. Look, it is possible that she is overacting and he is just being absent minded, but whose behaviour really needs to change here? As an adult coming into a partners house who has children you have to be sensitive to how you make them feel, and he is failing. I think the mum really needs to talk to him about this, reinforcing the need for him to respect their boundaries; it's important that the message does not become that HE was the victim and that the daughter needs to respect his right to go in and out of her room as he pleases. One other thing I'm pretty absent minded at times, but someone would not need to tell me twice not to do their laundry, what is up with that?

ETA. He's the AH for entering without knocking. That's a huge matter of respect. You don't enter someone's personal space without warning or permission. This is living with people 101. I don't care if his reason innocent. It changes nothing. But she's the AH for going to such extremes. This sounds like a first time offense and a huge escalation. No idea who's teaching her this is an appropriate reaction but they're wrong. Yes, she had every right to defend her space, but do so with words. Don't take actions unless the verbal warnings aren't adhered to. And taking it to such physical levels is absurd, let alone further threats.

Am I the only one who thought he was sniffing her laundry or that she thought the possibility was there. Also, who wants to have a stranger go through your bikinis, bras, and G-strings?

To all the "YTA" - in what universe is it appropriate for a literal STRANGER to barge into a teen's room?? Doesn't matter if he's boinking the mother, the kids are off limits. Jeez... I was dating someone who made a remark about how "when we move in together your daughter will have to learn to do as she's told". Reader, I dumped his sorry a**e and he never met my daughter.

She gave no reason why he was creepy. It's entirely possible he's just clueless. That being said, you always knock. I've let my kids know that their room is their sanctuary and we have rules about us entering that space without permission, and those still all boil down to you will at least have some heads up before we enter

The boyfriend is the a*****e. She's basically an adult and he's pushing it even after being told. He FAFO.

NTA. The guy's agenda is crystal clear: two young girls, ripe for the picking. He repeatedly ignored OP's request to leave her laundry alone, then enters her bedroom without knocking. Rather presumptuous of him, don't you think? And what was her mother thinking, letting a 45-year-old guy move in with her daughters, one of them clearly underage? Is she SO desperate to have a man around the house that's she's even willing to tolerate his predatory behavior towards them? He tried to put a move on you and lost. It's only a matter of time before he'll corner your sister.OP, TELL YOUR DAD NOW. He can take you to the police station to file a complaint, perhaps even to have you and your sister placed elsewhere as long as that man is under your roof.

There are men I avoid because of "creep"vibes without them having done anything untoward me. Some have been vindicated by I admit gossip, some are not. The problem is, it isn't written on their face and I like to err on the side of caution. That being said, to all the YTA , why would a strange men, even if it is your mum's boyfriend, feel the need to enter your room unannounced? To pick up the laundry when the probability you are in your underwear is great? Sure...

Go to the police, tell them what happened. They won't arrest him but may talk to him, but the big thing is they will start a file on him and go back to the police every time something happens. Also get an escape plan in place for you and your sister. I would hesitate to tell your father because of his history, he may well react in a violent way and tgat won't help you one bit because that's probably your escape address

My mom dated and moved in a lot of men, over half of them moving directly from a sober house, the other half actively alcoholics. Most of them were sketchy but I was never creeped out by them. But there was one guy. He gave me the creeps from the beginning. 2 months in he started kissing us on the mouth before bed. He never DID anything, but I know there's a reason I automatically disliked him. I NEVER read the obituaries before or after this, but we were visiting a bf's grandparents and they checked for friends. It was open on their table and I SAW THIS MAN'S OBITUARY. He had a hyphenated last name, so I knew it had to be him. I have NO idea why this coincidence happened, I'm not religious or spiritual in any way, but it's literally the only reason I question my lack of beliefs. He stalked my mom after and for 10yrs I was still afraid he'd show up for no good reason. It was a weird relief.

As a survivor of child SA, I 100% agree with the OP. No man, not even a dad should walk into an 18 year old young woman's room without being given permission. I don't do this to my 17 year old son either. Haven't ever. Kids rooms are their private spaces.

Well none of you guys have ever used pepper spray I guess. If you spray it in a bedroom, it's going to gas out BOTH of them. We're talking incapacitated here. She's not gonna grab a grown man (and she's still half dressed remember) and drag him anywhere, bc she won't be able to see or breathe. If you use pepper spray, you hold your breath, blast them and run like hell. This post is pure b******t.

There is absolutely no good reason for a grown man to be walking into an 18yo woman's room unannounced. Even with the purest of intentions, I would never do that because of the optics of it. The YTA commenters are f*cked in the head.

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Those YTa's need to be monitored.

Better to reach for the pepper spray when it wasn't as necessary as it seemed than to need it and not reach for it.

What kind of sicko goes all in defending someone for barging into a naked teenagers room? Sounds like the YTA crowd is just jealous they don’t have that same opportunity. Some sick perverts on this site

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