“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers)

Deciding to marry someone can mean threading a fine line between discovering what picking a life partner will be like and avoiding hitching yourself to the wrong person. As many folks have discovered later in life, people can be full of surprises.
Someone asked women “What did your spouse hide from you until after you were already married?” and people shared both dark and wholesome stories. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We never married and are no longer together, but she is the mother of my son.
She hid from me just how good of a mum she would be, was of the opinion for a long time she never wanted any kids, but we spoke about it and decided to have one, what a woman she is, she's got pretty bad depression, early menopause, and endometriosis, every day for her is different, but god that woman steps up every day for our son, things didn't work between us nothing bad, just circumstances, but I love that woman so much for what she does.

Federal-Aardvark-722 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

208points

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Diolla 6 months ago

What a lovely post 😊

72points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he is a really hard worker. He completely changed the day we got married. I don’t mean change in a bad way. He f*****g stepped his game up. He puts in the work every single day to keep our marriage in such a good spot.

buzzingbuzzer , Miguelangel Miquelena/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

186points

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ZuriLovesYou 6 months ago

That's so great!

35points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I had to hear it from our two year old.

mldl , Ash Berlin/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

174points

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Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Huge green flag. Triceratops are the best.

11points

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Privacy is always important to some degree, even in a marriage. In many places there are legal protections in case you do need to spill the beans, but in most situations, like the ones here, the issues are hardly criminal. On the other hand, talking about trauma, for example, is a classic case where privacy might be important, marriage or not.

While holding something from your spouse forever might be questionable, sometimes speaking about something difficult to talk about isn’t as easy as just sitting down and spilling the beans. The various traumatic examples in these stories are evidence of that. Childhood trauma and horrible relationships all influence what a person feels comfortable or uncomfortable speaking about.

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he loves jigsaw puzzles! I guess I didn't tell him I did either. We found out on our honeymoon. It started a lovely tradition where we now buy a challenging puzzle from the places we visit together.

_pie_pie_pie_ , Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

140points

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Bored something 6 months ago

That's sweet

27points

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) How freaking smart he was. Some things had never come up before. But he could figure out how to do stuff, fix stuff, problem solve…he never failed to surprise me.

adoglovingartteacher , Kenny Eliason/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

126points

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BoredPossum 6 months ago

Do people date for like 2 weeks before they marry? In the X years you're living together in some places, stuff like this come up.

31points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That my husband can make this sound with his mouth and it sounds EXACTLY like a guinea pig. I still don't get how he does it, now our 10 year old son can also make this sound and I just dont get it. It's some form of sorcery.

throwaway_bandittt , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

116points

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Do-nut touch da donut 6 months ago

Aww thats adorable <3

29points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Oof that he was predominantly asexual. I support Aces, but that's really something you need to let your partner know about before a commitment like that.

Roleplayer_MidRNova , Andrew Davie/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

113points

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Tamra 6 months ago

This is definitely something to discuss with a partner that you want to build a life with.

64points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I’ve got a crazy one. I found out my ex husband had an adult baby/diaper fetish after we married. He had even gone as far as putting up ads online looking for women to change him. Found one of his ads where he made up a story about being incontinent from a car accident…which was completely false and made up.
He told me about this fetish after we got married, but it never came up again until the end of our marriage, which is when I found the ads he put online. He wanted to act on it more and wanted me to be involved. I didn’t understand it and, to be honest, it grossed me TF out.
We started seeing a marriage counselor, and she suggested me giving him boundaries…like certain days where he was allowed to wear the briefs and do adult baby stuff. All it took was one time seeing him, a grown man sitting on a blanket on the floor with a pacifier, bottle, and adult diaper on, I just couldn’t take it…I ended the marriage shortly after that.

Airbear61181 , David Shankbone/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

113points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 6 months ago

This would totally weird me out too. Can't blame OP for ending that marriage.

85points

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“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A lot of stuff about his childhood- I knew he was abused, I didn’t know the extent of it and it makes me sick how his mother and father treated him. We cut his mom off years ago but his dad took off on his family when he turned 9 :( My husband has admitted he doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a family and that I am his family.

beesus06 , SEYED ALI Taghavi/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

105points

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rararando 6 months ago

This makes me so angry and sad and happy for them all at the same time )':

33points

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#10

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Exactly how patient he'd be with my ADHD. The dude is superhuman. *I* get more frustrated about my ADHD than he does.

RealBrookeSchwartz , Rachel Claire/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

99points

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flower petals 6 months ago

What an amazing guy!

25points

#11

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That his family was crazy abusive and neglectful and he thought it was all normal until I told him no, it’s not normal to get beaten every day and it’s not normal for your mom to pass out drunk and you have to feed and take care of your baby brother at only 7 years old.

SpaceForceLieutenant , Ahmed akacha/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

92points

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Evelyn Fox 6 months ago

Poor man. I hope he's making up for it by having a beautiful and happy life with you. <3

20points

#12

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He knew every word to the 2001 Cinematic masterpiece Shrek. I didn't know it until after we were married for FIVE YEARS.

mandywydnam , dreamworks Report

Final score:

88points

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Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

How could he

19points

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#13

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Married her thinking we had both been prior divorced once. Turns out she had been married an extra time. I thought Ok, its a Vegas thing or something when you were young, nope, she was married fo 7 years to her child hood sweetheart. Turns out she lied about just about everything to do with her personal life. Divorced three years later.

NoSquirrel7184 , Christopher Campbell/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

83points

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Nina 6 months ago

Yeah, that's trying to build a life on lies. Feel sorry for the man.

22points

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#14

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A second refrigerator in the garage. It was hidden. I saw our daughter eating a popsicle and I asked her where she got it. She said “dad’s fridge” and I asked what that meant. She walked outside and showed me what “dad’s fridge” was and I’ll be damned. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.

Louisianimal0418 , whyamiKeenan/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

81points

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Allen Beloe 6 months ago

For keeping the cool stuff in

33points

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#15

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He had never paid taxes during his military career. Never. 5 years. Still blows my mind how that’s even possible. Bottom line, 6 months into the marriage, I’m attempting to buy a sandwich and my card declines. That’s weird. Checked the joint bank account, IRS took everything.

Marriednotdeadd , Diego González/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

80points

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Nina 6 months ago

That's a good reason for a divorce...

9points

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#16

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) The insane way he was brought up. His siblings went to kindergarten but not him. He was locked in a room while the parents worked (he is the eldest). It still doesn’t bother him!

hypnosssis , Anthony Wade/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

76points

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Nina 6 months ago

So he's locked that whole experience in a box and put it in a dark place? There might come a time something triggers that box to open, let's hope they can get some help if that happens.

24points

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#17

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was a paranoid schizophrenic.

Successful-Ad7296 , Jakob Owens/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

75points

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Nina 6 months ago (edited)

That might be something to disclose for the sake of (so not 'in lieu of') being open and honest with eachother 😬 (Edit: used opposite phrase of what I meant, original in brackets)

24points

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#18

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Years and years ago my relative hid a wife and kids across the globe from his new wife until she called his parents and the old wife answered 🫣 old wife thought he died in war.

emptyteacupfan , Patricia Prudente/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

75points

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Dragon mama 6 months ago

What did I just read? Oh my ...

22points

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#19

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I asked my mother about this once. She said she didn’t learn until after marriage that my dad very frequently attends funerals! She noticed in their first year there seemed to always be a friend of a family friend, extended relative, an old piano teacher, etc whose funeral mass my dad would attend. He’s from a huge family with tons of siblings/uncles/aunts with lots of extended friends and relatives. Latinos lol. She asked him why he attends every single one even if he hardly knew the person and he said he just feels strongly it’s the right thing to do, because his mom raised him that way. My dad is very wholesome. My parents have been married 42 years and he is still this way. It’s not infrequent I’ll catch up with my dad on the weekend and ask him what he’s up to and he says “well I’m attending the mass for so & so’s mom, remember her?” (I never do).

She-Individual-24 , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

74points

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FrogMan 6 months ago

Weddings are optional, funerals are mandatory

21points

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#20

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We never got married but my partner hid that he was about to go bankrupt until I was 6 months pregnant. That was fun times!!

stillnesswithin- , Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

73points

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Nina 6 months ago

Dang.. that is so uncool!

22points

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#21

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That she was a trans woman (MtF).

AfterHours22 , Andriyko Podilnyk/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

72points

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Nina 6 months ago

That's something you should discuss before marriage. Didn't they discuss wanting or not wanting children? It would feel as a big breach of trust to me.

121points

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#22

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He hates mushrooms. I used to make this mushroom lasagna with 4 kinds of mushrooms and a mushroom bechamel and he would eat seconds! The deep streak of British politeness meaning he would eat whatever I made didn't break until a few years into marriage.

laser_marquise , FOX/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

69points

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Screaming_Icecream 6 months ago

I believe this is one of the reasons the British people are so cautious with unfamiliar food! Once one accepts the portion, one has to eat it up to be polite, no matter how deeply repulsive it is for them. A student friend of mine cried in the toilet after she heroically ate the whole helping of traditional Slav meat jelly... So safer to decline anything unknown, always.

25points

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#23

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That right up until the night before we got married that his family was trying to talk him out of getting married and even went so far as to say they’d cover for him if he cheated (he did not cheat and had no desire to).

I’m glad he hid it before we married(I was dealing with wedding stress plus sick my own seriously ill parents so hearing this when we were engaged would have sent me over the edge). He did tell me not long after we got married.

Will say that I’ve not fully trusted my Inlaws since then, and it’s been over 20 years.

duckdontbackdown , Emma Bauso/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

64points

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Saphyre Fyre 6 months ago

I wouldn't trust them at all; let alone fully. At least you can trust your mate.

25points

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#24

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Not my spouse, but my friends' spouse hid kids he didn't take care of. The way she found out? Getting a letter from the IRS that their refund was snatched for back child support.

rednecksnextdoor , Ana Klipper/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

63points

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Ephemera Image 6 months ago

Oof.

14points

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#25

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can catch flies in mid air like a f*****g ninja.

WhatTheActualFluff , Nixon Johnson/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

63points

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Kat 6 months ago

I can do that! 😁

5points

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#26

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His affairs. I married someone who was actively dating many other women and really great at hiding it - until we got married - then suddenly the affairs were everywhere and he didn’t try to hide them. Divorced now, obviously.

jellybeancountr , photo nic/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

58points

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Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

sex addict?

8points

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#27

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Our wedding night, I woke up from a deep sleep because he had terrible gas. His farts were so loud, and often, I actually felt badly for him! In the morning I asked if he was feeling okay, if the food had upset his stomach, if he needed to postpone our honeymoon trip…

He had been holding it in for the five years we were dating.

SapphireWork , Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

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Diolla 6 months ago

That's dedication, 😂

40points

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#28

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Bowel issues. They’re genetic and cause him to last an hour in the restroom daily. It really sucks when I have to pee.

Also how destructively envious his mom was of my family. Explained why she’s always so critical of me, she’s looking for ways to tear me down to her level.

thefifthtrilogy , Alex Simpson/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

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Bored something 6 months ago

They really need a two toilet house.

57points

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#29

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) $20,000 worth of credit card debt.

edengetscreative , Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

55points

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Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Ouch

7points

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#30

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can juggle lol like how did this not come up until after 8 years?

DorkasaurusRex6 , Yi Liu/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

53points

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Michael Largey 6 months ago

Only when you get married does the need to juggle things become paramount. Just ask my third and/or fifth wife.

6points

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#31

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Kids, his age, his felonies/attempt of m*rder charge, he didn’t own the house he was living like he said he did, a prior marriage. God that’s probably more but this was over 10 years ago.

Unique-Connection-78 , Lukas Rychvalsky/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

53points

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Saphyre Fyre 6 months ago

Who The BLEEP Did I Marry?!?

25points

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#32

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was contributing a percentage of his paycheck to a different bank account. I always knew he had another bank account (aka a personal account… we use our joint account for everything) but I always figured the money in it solely came from “odd jobs” and things of that nature. Then, one day, I saw his paystub, and noticed he was contributing $600 each pay check to his own personal account. It ended up causing the biggest fight we’ve ever had. I wasn’t upset/mad about the fact that he wanted a personal account or that he was contributing toward it- it was the fact that he hid it from me. After that, I set up my own personal account and started contributing $600 per paycheck to it as well.

pbd1996 , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

48points

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Diolla 6 months ago

Which is not bad, but the secrecy is

52points

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#33

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Substance addiction.

devinmoore0315 , Annie Spratt/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

47points

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Hugh Cookson 6 months ago

Sadly far too common nowadays - so much for he outdated 'war on d***s' mantra being relevant almost 50 years after the idiot Reagan coined it. Find another way, implement it and sort the problem out - yup, it's going to be difficult but in the long run, surely it will benefit everyone !!

9points

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#34

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he cheated on me and had a kid.

Lolabelle1223 , Diego Lozano/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

47points

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that_gay_snake(he/they) 6 months ago

nope. leave him and don't pay money to support him in any way

13points

#35

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We (thankfully) didn’t get married, but…I knew he had 2 kids from two previous women. I didn’t know about the other 3 from two other women until after we moved in. After we broke up he went on to have 2 more with two other women. He doesn’t take care of a single one.

sunnysideup2323 , Jonathan Borba/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

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Mark Fergel 6 months ago

You dated Nick Cannon?

9points

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#36

That he loves smelling me with what he now phrases as "deep druggie breaths." And strangely enough also licking me (and I mean in a non-sexual way and not as a precursor to sex). Like, he'll smell my neck in the morning, lightly give me a peck on the shoulder and then also lightly lick it, as though for good measure or something! Very quirky but endearing as well.

IwastesomuchtimeonAB Report

Final score:

43points

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KillerKiwi 6 months ago

Is he a dog

23points

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#37

That he was an abuser who had no interest in attempting to be a decent person after the honeymoon stage ended. Never saw it coming...

effingusername123 Report

Final score:

39points

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Somethingpenguin 6 months ago

So thats how breweries became rich

0points

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#38

That he had severe erectile dysfunction. (We were Jehovah witnesses at the time so no sex before marriage).

sheifale Report

Final score:

34points

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kiley767 6 months ago (edited)

You would never purchase a car before taking for a test drive. Same goes with this.

6points

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#39

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Tons of childhood trauma he has yet to deal with and a p*rn addiction.

Puzzled-Mushroom8050 , Greta Schölderle Möller/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

33points

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Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

porn and sex addiction can be devestating, get help if you think you need it, life can be better

14points

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#40

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he had a secret brother! I found out the day of our wedding. Funnily enough I couldn't 100% trust my husband after that and yes - he was very secretive about what his plans were and what his thoughts were even on a daily chat basis! and thats one of the reasons I ended up leaving.

Update:
I wasnt aware of the brother because he had never been mentioned in the 2 years Id known my husband before we married.
I get that men have a lot going on in their minds and I respect that it is the way many sort things out - but keeping the existence of a brother secret was shocking to me.

Even the family never mentioned the brother - he wasn't even in family photos. And he was (still is) the nicest guy.
Im out of my own way now - Im open to life and humans with all their foibles.

Alone_Target_1221 , Kylo/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

29points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 6 months ago

"I get that men have a lot going on in their minds" - I think she vastly overestimates us. I'm still pondering my favourite dinosaur from the previous post.

59points

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#41

I kept a major secret from my husband. I told him late at night about three months after we were married, but we’re together for 10 years.

Me: “I have something to tell you. This is may be the most secure that I’ve felt in our relationship and I hope it doesn’t change how you feel about me.”

Him: “ok”

Me: “I’m a Nickelback fan.”

And now I’ve told all of Reddit.

Might delete later.

Inappropriate_Ballet Report

Final score:

26points

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Cammy Mack 6 months ago

As long as they stay away from that early "soft rock" sound they were known for and go straight for heavy metal, they're actually pretty good. His voice is far more suited to that genre.

3points

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#42

He hid that he can learn how to cook anything. He applies the same attention to detail and care to everything he sets out to do. He makes corn tortillas that are as good as my grandma's.

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Final score:

25points

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Awesome At Being Autistic 6 months ago

He's a keeper.

3points

#43

That he was an amazing piano player and could sculpt realistic objects.

No_Cup_3574 Report

Final score:

24points

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Landithy 6 months ago

*Hopes this person isn't dating Bernard Black*.

0points

#44

That he can curse fluently in French.

Jillredhanded Report

Final score:

21points

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JenniB 6 months ago

If you hear him say f*ck (spelled phoque in French) he is actually talking about seals lol

10points

#45

That he enjoyed taunting, hitting, and was kinder to strangers than his wife and babies. He refused to get help for being an abuser.

kimemily11 Report

Final score:

20points

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Ephemera Image 6 months ago

I dearly hope he's an ex now.

17points

#46

The first meal I made for him when dating was way too horrendously salty but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings telling me. It took him almost 3 years to let me know.

Just_AnotherLabRat Report

Final score:

19points

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JenniB 6 months ago

The first breakfast I made my now husband was undercooked pancakes (yuck). Twenty five years later he handles the pancake making lol

4points

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#47

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He didn’t know how to use the washing machine

fullpurplejacket , PlanetCare/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

19points

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François Bouzigues 6 months ago

The learning curve is not so steep.

18points

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#48

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His bisexuality.

LilMamiDaisy420 , Drew Hays/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

18points

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Two_rolling_black_eyes 6 months ago

Does this matter if they are faithful? They chose you. If you are worried about their body count, regardless of gender, you have trust issues to handle. Its like being upset that they used to date both redheads and blonds and you are blond. If you are the first blond, maybe there's an issue but those redheads are their exes and don't matter otherwise.

27points

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#49

I got super excited when we saw a Bigfoot museum in North Georgia and wanted to go. My husband was shocked. This is the day we learned we have different opinions on whether he’s real or not. Told me he might not of married me had he known my beliefs on Bigfoot. Guess it never came up before.

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Final score:

16points

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Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

im sorry but i dont think bigfoot is worthy of being a deal breaker... crazy, harmful conspiracy theories i can understand, but bigfoot is so innocent as far as beliefs go

9points

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#50

6 months in, he admitted to being in love with his ex from 5 years prior. I found the letter he wrote to her and confronted him about it, and then he admitted it. The letter tells her how he missed her, was still in love with her, could never love anyone else, and would do anything to get back with her.

Msliz14 Report

Final score:

16points

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tw 72 6 months ago

Damn...

5points

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#51

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He never graduated from college... Which all of us thought he had an associates related to physical therapy.

misatomoscato , Charles DeLoye/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

16points

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Maim 5 months ago

Hope he isn't practicing physical therapy......

0points

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#52

A big ol destructive ragey temper.

bethafoot Report

Final score:

15points

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LaserBrain 6 months ago

"They always start out nice..."

1point

#53

How antisocial and rude his family actually is and just how mentally draining they can be. Also forgot to mention how controlling his mother is and how everyone uses him.

popsum22 Report

Final score:

15points

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flower petals 6 months ago

When you marry into a family, this can be a nasty surprise. Best to know in advance!

7points

#54

Probably that he had no interest in maintaining a relationship after marriage. He just left it and made zero effort anymore, carried on with his own life as if I wasn't a factor in it. He also lied a lot and did cheat at least once (he didn't consider happy endings cheating, I do.) so I'm sure that happened prior to marriage as well. He's now my ex.

Iworkinfashionblah Report

Final score:

15points

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Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago (edited)

lmao, the list of disloyal activities some people dont consider cheating is long and ridiculous

9points

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#55

1. That he was actually an introvert, despite saying he was an extrovert. This means we have a very different life to the one pre-marriage / cohabitation and potentially one I would not have opted into.

2. That despite nodding and smiling and saying all the right things before hand, he didn’t actually want to put our relationship first to ensure we were rock solid for our potential children. The second I was pregnant I became in effect his gestational carrier. Makes him a great dad and a practically non-existent husband.

onandonwego123 Report

Final score:

14points

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Diolla 6 months ago

"gestational carrier" 😳

9points

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#56

That my ring was picked out and designed by his ex wooooo.

firsttimemamachloe Report

Final score:

14points

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Me Oh My (He/They) 6 months ago

This one's pretty harmless, but also SUPER weird.

5points

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#57

That he had a thing for taking photos of me when I was asleep/ medicated. Well not just me, it was all of his partners he ever had, oh and some friends. This wasn't just a few photos either. I only found how deep this rabbit hole went after I ended our relationship.

CatsbeeCats Report

Final score:

14points

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Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

eeewwwww

11points

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#58

That he had a DUI. That he actually did not have the college degree he said he had (found that out during the divorce). I am pretty sure he hid lots of other things too, but I try not to think about it now.

waltrautfishing Report

Final score:

14points

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#59

He was an addict. He was addicted to shopping, s*x, gambling, and m*th.

giglbox06 Report

Final score:

13points

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Rafael 6 months ago

Damn, math addiction is really an epidemic!

2points

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#60

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Oh yeah and he thinks of k*lling people multiple times a day, every single day. Shoulda believed him.

Beckalouboo , Nappy/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

13points

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Jeevesssssss 6 months ago

The photo used really bothers me, BP.

41points

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#61

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he has ADHD. Our son was recently diagnosed with it and that’s when it came out.

Starlettohara23 , Steven Fortier/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

13points

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Nicola Mawson 6 months ago

Same. My ex has an irregular heart beat. Would have been useful to know

3points

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#62

That he has Asthma and has an inhaler…we’ve been together 10 years.

ireallylikecowsok Report

Final score:

13points

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Justme 6 months ago

Yeah that’s something a partner should know!

2points

#63

My ex husband hid the fact that he dropped out of high school. We had lots of issues though, but I found this fact out from his cousin who didn’t know that I didn’t know. She said something like, “I’m so proud of him for where he is in life. He came so far after dropping out of high school.” And I was standing there looking at her like a deer in headlights. His dropping out would NOT have been a dealbreaker, but I never got over his lying (on top of a sh*tload of other issues).

lotoseater Report

Final score:

13points

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Alexandra 6 months ago

This was the straw that broke the camel's back.

3points

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#64

That he’s as much a foodie as me. He always seemed to be kinda “meh” when it came to food and it was partly because of his many food allergies. Now? After 3 years of marriage he is just as much invested in food as I am. Sometimes more than me. We watch so many cooking shows together now and he’s learning so much about cooking…… his skills are rivaling mine haha!

JDMOokami21 Report

Final score:

12points

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#65

He assumed that after we got married we’d start going everywhere together and doing everything together. I’m an introvert who has always been open about needing a lot of time to myself. It was a struggle for a while.

laurel-eye Report

Final score:

12points

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Judy Reynolds 6 months ago

I need alone time, but since Covid, I have not been getting it. He simply doesn't understand.

5points

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#66

After 28 years of marriage, I found out that my husband had been a D & D nerd before we met. We were alternative-grunge people when we married. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have dated him to begin with, had I known that, but I’m glad I did! He’s a super sweet guy and would/does do anything for me. 💗.

InternationalAir2918 Report

Final score:

12points

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Bored something 6 months ago

D&D is so much fun.! Especially now our kids are old enough to play too.

12points

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#67

His anger issues 😞.

Crazy_Ad4505 Report

Final score:

12points

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#68

Their first-degree misdemeanor charge. Since divorced.

K1ndr3dSoul Report

Final score:

11points

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madbakes 6 months ago

I wish this was more specific. This could mean so many things.

4points

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#69

He deliberately, with full malice of forethought deceived me into thinking he was an adventurous eater when he is the pickiest eater alive. Take heed-- this is a valid reason for a long engagement. He'd have never been able to keep up the façade much longer than he did, so if I had given it some time I could have made an informed decision about spending the rest of my life with a man who wasn't try anything new, or a casserole.

Aunt_Anne Report

Final score:

11points

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Justme 6 months ago

Well dear, I’m sorry you’re a picky eater but casserole is what’s for dinner.

3points

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#70

That he pronounces “gif” as “jif.” Horrifying.

redtailedrabbit Report

Final score:

11points

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Natalia 6 months ago

That is how it's supposed to be pronounced, unfortunately!

6points

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#71

How much of a football fan he was. We met while we were both still in college so maybe he was too busy to watch? Or purposely hid it? I’m not sure but he’s an emotionally ridiculous man-child whenever his team is on. It’s infuriating because I hate sports and his reactions.

Other than that, a very solid marriage.

Oubliette_95 Report

Final score:

11points

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Lene 6 months ago

I have begun to help my kids to bed early if there's handball or football/soccer on TV because my otherwise quiet and calm bf will yell and scream and hit his hands so hard onto the table that the kids get scared. I try to talk to him about it and he says: "oh, I'm just being patriotic". Uuhhmm.... no, sweetheart, you're being an aggressive a-hole. Because anyone who makes my kids scared even AFTER they have been informed of it... well, they are a-holes, imo. But when he doesn't watch sports he's a nice and quiet dude.

2points

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#72

We’ve been together since we were 14, he admitted to me 6 years after marriage that he lost his virginity to me which was a shock because when we met I was under the impression he has slept with a couple girls already.

Biggest shock lol.

mami_mundo8 Report

Final score:

11points

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MrsFettesVette 6 months ago

Good lord, how did he justify having multiple partners at the tender age of 14? Wtf

1point

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#73

That he doesn't understand how to use cleaning supplies. I asked him to wipe down the table and he used hand sanitizer rather than a Lysol spray or wipe. I often catch him using windex for wiping down the kitchen counters or cleaning up floor messes. Most people would use a paper towel where it's completely open or folded up neatly- not him, he crinkles the paper towel immediately before wiping his mouth or cleaning a mess and I keep having to remind him that he's wasting a lot of surface space on the paper towel. He uses a wet wipe before using toilet paper. I always thought use the toilet paper first, then wipe with a wet wipe to clean/freshen your b******e but nope, he says the wet wipe gets it all clean immediately and then the TP dries his butt. That's fair.

The man is wicked smart when it comes to numbers. But that common sense is truly lacking with him. Sometimes I just stare at him when he's cleaning and wonder how he got here. But ultimately, it isn't hurting anyone so I walk away lol.

moremacadonimorechee Report

Final score:

10points

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meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago

...seems a bit micromanagey..

13points

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#74

That his step-father, whom officiated our wedding, said that he thought I was only with my husband for his money when he told him we were marrying a handful of months before. Also, surprise, there was never any money… Still isn’t.

WitchyHealer Report

Final score:

9points

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#75

That he knows all the lyrics to the entire Smurf’s Go Pop album.

CAPalmer1 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

SnackbarKaat 6 months ago

1/3rd of it is 'smurf' tho

4points

#76

That he was so unable to communicate about perceived conflict that he would rather suggest food, activities, and future plans that he thought I would like but he didn’t like than possibly suggest the opposite, resulting in growing confusion on my part and increasing resentment on his part if I didn’t like an activity he suggested or if I thought I was capitulating to an activity or plan he suggested (when in reality he didn’t want to do it at all). He became more and more unhappy but insisted everything was fine and we were good. After he asked for a divorce it all came out. I have no idea how much of my marriage was a lie. All of the things we did that I thought we had fun doing may have been things he didn’t even like. It’s been absolutely mind boggling to understand retrospectively. If you ever see this happening in your relationship, please get couples communication therapy! This didn’t have to happen and it was so awful for both of us.

LatrodectusGeometric Report

Final score:

7points

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meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago

yikes

2points

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#77

His performance anxiety, his road rage, his triggers…

But time has also exposed his desire to be better.

NeverNotSuspicious Report

Final score:

7points

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#78

How much he farts. He held all that gas in for 3 damn years. Like damn.

prettydotty_ Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Lee Banks 6 months ago

I can't burp. You can figure out what that means. I warned my dude the day he asked me to move in.

0points

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#79

Kissing makes him uncomfortable.

Tiny-Act3086 Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Well that's awkward haha

3points

#80

He has a life-sized cutout of Will Ferrell’s character from Anchorman just folded under his bed. Got it from an old neighbor who worked at a movie theater years ago. I only found this out because he randomly mentioned it in passing during a conversation.

We’re not married yet and have been together for a couple years now.

useallofthenames Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Rafael 6 months ago

Hey, there's still time to run! :-)

0points

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#81

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) There is a curse on his family.

CauliflowerBoomerang , Kayla Maurais/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

5points

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meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago

this is something you should know very early in the relationship

3points

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#82

That he never actually wanted to get married or have the responsibilities that have to do with having a family. He just loved the chase and the satisfaction when I finally agreed to start daring him, but after he knew he 'got me', he lost interest pretty much lol.

trentovna Report

Final score:

5points

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#83

That he had a load of debt from being tricked into a local art school, and his inability to change or grow as a person because he got fed the lie that "we don't hit women under any circumstance" and then blamed me for being hurt by a woman i directly told him not to be alone with saying i should have done something

its been 5 years of only me working and i want out so damn bad.

LunettaBadru901 Report

Final score:

5points

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meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago

how do you get tricked into art school

5points

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#84

His fascination with serial killers and enjoyment of movies like 10 Things I Hate About You.

I-Am-Not-Ok-Thx Report

Final score:

4points

POST

AlchemisT 6 months ago

Everyone has a fantasy world, damn it.

2points

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#85

That he knows how to install hardwood floors and did NOT let me know when we put new floors in our house (I got LVP, but now I know I could have gotten hardwood). I think about this a lot.

Elaine330 Report

Final score:

4points

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Two_rolling_black_eyes 6 months ago

I know how to butcher a hog but I never want to do that again. I'll buy cuts of pork at the store and cut them up at home but there's no corpse hanging from a tree. Hardwood floors are so much more effort to install and maintain. If you have bad knees from installing them and sawdust in your lungs still from sanding them afterwards. you'll gladly take the pain in your knees to get the LVP done faster for love but still save your body.

6points

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#86

That he had histrionic personality disorder and was struggling with depression. Found out while 4 months pregnant.

p4tend_p3nding Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Alexandra 6 months ago

He should have told you before you got pregnant. There's an hereditary element to mental disease that needs to be adressed prior to starting a family.

3points

#87

He was still smoking.

ButtHoleNurse Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Ephemera Image 6 months ago

Ugh. Can't stand the smell. And it's like kissing an ashtray.

2points

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#88

He always pretended to be “the cool guy” at work. I always had some doubts about this because of what an introvert he is, but was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, knowing he can be social with the right people.

He was NOT the cool guy.

JoyfulSuicide Report

Final score:

2points

POST

Michael Largey 6 months ago

I'm a complete introvert - except in front of an audience. This guy may be like that too.

0points

#89

That his ex wife had serious mental health issues. My expectation was having “us” time every other weekend and one night a week since he had primary custody. Instead a month into our marriage his ex was hospitalized and we were driving his daughter to see his mother in long term hospital care every weekend. It took up our Saturdays.

WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Report

Final score:

1point

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maka paka 6 months ago

Unless he caused it, his ex's mental issues have nothing to do with his new gf/wife/friend etc. And he was being a good dad making sure his daughter saw her mum. This is exactly what i would do if something happened to the mother of my children and if my gf didn't like it she'd be gone. (Kids come first)

20points

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What do you think ?

DB 6 months ago

That she had suffered severe head injuries from a car accident as a child and had never had long term care. 25 years later despite finally being properly diagnosed her family found it better to convince her that I was the cause of her problems instead of getting her the help she desperately needed.

EmBree 6 months ago

My husband didn't tell me how easily he dislocates his shoulders, and even worse, that I would have to help him get them back in their socket again. I'm not the nurse kind and the sound when you "break" the shoulder back is horrible.

Rose the Cook 6 months ago

My first husband failed to tell me that because he hadn't enough money to pay the huge dowry his pregnant sister's baby daddy demanded to marry her that he had promised him that when he married his wife would support their family for life.

Paul Rabit 6 months ago

I know this article didn't specify, but I like the fun surprises more.

Adrian 6 months ago

That she was borderline (boil your bunny crazy)...

Jane Reid 2 weeks ago

That his family was (and still is) abusive. He thought being spanked was being backhanded across the face so hard you fall down. Didn't realize that was wrong until he saw my reaction to that happening to our non verbal 2 year old. When I told him his mother needed to move out before I came back with our child and that she would never be alone with our children again, he realized something was wrong. He's been unpacking it in therapy, and it took 3 years for him to finally call what his parents did to him abuse.

brittany 6 months ago

that he didnt want kids. hid it till i was pregnant with kid number 3. he was enthusiastic when i got pregnant. we talked about having kids 4 years before we got married. how many, names, even bought baby books. then kid number 3 and he comes out with he never wanted kids, he just didnt want to try and find someone else to date. he said if i didnt abort we were through. me and my 3 kids are still alive and well and together. forget him.

El Dee 6 months ago

There's a fairly even split between people who obviously have control/narcissism and those who have been fearful to reveal things they have been made to feel ashamed of..

oddkiddo 6 months ago

That he used to rape his younger brother..

-1point

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers)

Games

Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė