Join the Fun!

buzzingbuzzer , Miguelangel Miquelena/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he is a really hard worker. He completely changed the day we got married. I don’t mean change in a bad way. He f*****g stepped his game up. He puts in the work every single day to keep our marriage in such a good spot.

Final score:

186points

POST

ZuriLovesYou 6 months ago

That's so great!

35points

mldl , Ash Berlin/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I had to hear it from our two year old.

Final score:

174points

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Huge green flag. Triceratops are the best.

11points

_pie_pie_pie_ , Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Privacy is always important to some degree, even in a marriage. In many places there are legal protections in case you do need to spill the beans, but in most situations, like the ones here, the issues are hardly criminal. On the other hand, talking about trauma, for example, is a classic case where privacy might be important, marriage or not.

While holding something from your spouse forever might be questionable, sometimes speaking about something difficult to talk about isn’t as easy as just sitting down and spilling the beans. The various traumatic examples in these stories are evidence of that. Childhood trauma and horrible relationships all influence what a person feels comfortable or uncomfortable speaking about.

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he loves jigsaw puzzles! I guess I didn't tell him I did either. We found out on our honeymoon. It started a lovely tradition where we now buy a challenging puzzle from the places we visit together.

Final score:

140points

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Bored something 6 months ago

That's sweet

27points

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) How freaking smart he was. Some things had never come up before. But he could figure out how to do stuff, fix stuff, problem solve…he never failed to surprise me.

adoglovingartteacher , Kenny Eliason/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

126points

POST

BoredPossum 6 months ago

Do people date for like 2 weeks before they marry? In the X years you're living together in some places, stuff like this come up.

30points

throwaway_bandittt , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That my husband can make this sound with his mouth and it sounds EXACTLY like a guinea pig. I still don't get how he does it, now our 10 year old son can also make this sound and I just dont get it. It's some form of sorcery.

Final score:

116points

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Do-nut touch da donut 6 months ago

Aww thats adorable <3

29points

Roleplayer_MidRNova , Andrew Davie/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Oof that he was predominantly asexual. I support Aces, but that's really something you need to let your partner know about before a commitment like that.

Final score:

113points

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Tamra 6 months ago

This is definitely something to discuss with a partner that you want to build a life with.

63points

Airbear61181 , David Shankbone/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I’ve got a crazy one. I found out my ex husband had an adult baby/diaper fetish after we married. He had even gone as far as putting up ads online looking for women to change him. Found one of his ads where he made up a story about being incontinent from a car accident…which was completely false and made up.
He told me about this fetish after we got married, but it never came up again until the end of our marriage, which is when I found the ads he put online. He wanted to act on it more and wanted me to be involved. I didn’t understand it and, to be honest, it grossed me TF out.
We started seeing a marriage counselor, and she suggested me giving him boundaries…like certain days where he was allowed to wear the briefs and do adult baby stuff. All it took was one time seeing him, a grown man sitting on a blanket on the floor with a pacifier, bottle, and adult diaper on, I just couldn’t take it…I ended the marriage shortly after that.

Final score:

113points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 6 months ago

This would totally weird me out too. Can't blame OP for ending that marriage.

84points

beesus06 , SEYED ALI Taghavi/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A lot of stuff about his childhood- I knew he was abused, I didn’t know the extent of it and it makes me sick how his mother and father treated him. We cut his mom off years ago but his dad took off on his family when he turned 9 :( My husband has admitted he doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a family and that I am his family.

Final score:

105points

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rararando 6 months ago

This makes me so angry and sad and happy for them all at the same time )':

33points

RealBrookeSchwartz , Rachel Claire/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#10

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Exactly how patient he'd be with my ADHD. The dude is superhuman. *I* get more frustrated about my ADHD than he does.

Final score:

99points

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flower petals 6 months ago

What an amazing guy!

25points

#11

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That his family was crazy abusive and neglectful and he thought it was all normal until I told him no, it’s not normal to get beaten every day and it’s not normal for your mom to pass out drunk and you have to feed and take care of your baby brother at only 7 years old.

SpaceForceLieutenant , Ahmed akacha/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

92points

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Evelyn Fox 6 months ago

Poor man. I hope he's making up for it by having a beautiful and happy life with you. <3

20points

#12

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He knew every word to the 2001 Cinematic masterpiece Shrek. I didn't know it until after we were married for FIVE YEARS.

mandywydnam , dreamworks Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

How could he

19points

NoSquirrel7184 , Christopher Campbell/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#13

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Married her thinking we had both been prior divorced once. Turns out she had been married an extra time. I thought Ok, its a Vegas thing or something when you were young, nope, she was married fo 7 years to her child hood sweetheart. Turns out she lied about just about everything to do with her personal life. Divorced three years later.

Final score:

83points

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Nina 6 months ago

Yeah, that's trying to build a life on lies. Feel sorry for the man.

22points

Louisianimal0418 , whyamiKeenan/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

#14

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A second refrigerator in the garage. It was hidden. I saw our daughter eating a popsicle and I asked her where she got it. She said “dad’s fridge” and I asked what that meant. She walked outside and showed me what “dad’s fridge” was and I’ll be damned. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.

Final score:

81points

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Allen Beloe 6 months ago

For keeping the cool stuff in

33points

Marriednotdeadd , Diego González/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#15

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He had never paid taxes during his military career. Never. 5 years. Still blows my mind how that’s even possible. Bottom line, 6 months into the marriage, I’m attempting to buy a sandwich and my card declines. That’s weird. Checked the joint bank account, IRS took everything.

Final score:

80points

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Nina 6 months ago

That's a good reason for a divorce...

9points

hypnosssis , Anthony Wade/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#16

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) The insane way he was brought up. His siblings went to kindergarten but not him. He was locked in a room while the parents worked (he is the eldest). It still doesn’t bother him!

Final score:

76points

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Nina 6 months ago

So he's locked that whole experience in a box and put it in a dark place? There might come a time something triggers that box to open, let's hope they can get some help if that happens.

24points

Successful-Ad7296 , Jakob Owens/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#17

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was a paranoid schizophrenic.

Final score:

75points

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Nina 6 months ago (edited)

That might be something to disclose for the sake of (so not 'in lieu of') being open and honest with eachother 😬 (Edit: used opposite phrase of what I meant, original in brackets)

24points

emptyteacupfan , Patricia Prudente/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#18

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Years and years ago my relative hid a wife and kids across the globe from his new wife until she called his parents and the old wife answered 🫣 old wife thought he died in war.

Final score:

75points

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Dragon mama 6 months ago

What did I just read? Oh my ...

22points

She-Individual-24 , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#19

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I asked my mother about this once. She said she didn’t learn until after marriage that my dad very frequently attends funerals! She noticed in their first year there seemed to always be a friend of a family friend, extended relative, an old piano teacher, etc whose funeral mass my dad would attend. He’s from a huge family with tons of siblings/uncles/aunts with lots of extended friends and relatives. Latinos lol. She asked him why he attends every single one even if he hardly knew the person and he said he just feels strongly it’s the right thing to do, because his mom raised him that way. My dad is very wholesome. My parents have been married 42 years and he is still this way. It’s not infrequent I’ll catch up with my dad on the weekend and ask him what he’s up to and he says “well I’m attending the mass for so & so’s mom, remember her?” (I never do).

Final score:

74points

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FrogMan 6 months ago

Weddings are optional, funerals are mandatory

21points

stillnesswithin- , Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#20

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We never got married but my partner hid that he was about to go bankrupt until I was 6 months pregnant. That was fun times!!

Final score:

73points

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Nina 6 months ago

Dang.. that is so uncool!

22points

AfterHours22 , Andriyko Podilnyk/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#21

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That she was a trans woman (MtF).

Final score:

72points

POST

Nina 6 months ago

That's something you should discuss before marriage. Didn't they discuss wanting or not wanting children? It would feel as a big breach of trust to me.

121points

Anna Ekberg 6 months ago

Yes, this is something that should have been brought up at the very beginning or else it's deceitful.

40points

Parmeisan 6 months ago

Read Micah's post below! Turns out neither of them knew - and they're still together :)

9points

Sky Render 6 months ago (edited)

Sometimes you don't know until later. It's not uncommon for trans people to figure out their identity until later in life, often when they're already in a relationship and have been for many years. There are so many heartbreaking stories about trans women who figured it out late in life after having already started a family, came out to their spouses, and ended up abandoned or divorced for accepting who they are. It's a tragically common tale with Millennial, Gen X and Boomer transgender women.

5points

Micah<3 6 months ago

Just so everyone knows, her wife didn't realise/come out until after they were married! They've been together for 19 years, and her wife has been on HRT for 10 years now! They're still married!

70points

PFD 6 months ago

Thanks! A very different situation from what's suggested by the initial post.

15points

Linus Nilsson 6 months ago

Why are all the comments "you should have found this out earlier!"? If they only came to realize that they felt more natural as a woman after they were married, surely OP couldn't "find out" before?

11points

Rahul Pawa 6 months ago

People are reacting that way because the OP doesn't explain the situation clearly. I'm presuming you went to reddit to read the source to learn more.

18points

Rafael 6 months ago

For context, she (OP) was already married to her partner when she transitioned, and they decided to stay together - she talks about it extensively in Reddit, how she had a husband and now has a wife.

8points

ManuelQue 6 months ago

A friend of mine dealt with this in her own marriage many years ago. Her former husband went through all the transitions long ago as well. They had an excellent and strong friendship which continues to this day.

4points

meeeeeeeeeeee 6 months ago

Surely this is first date information

6points

ManuelQue 6 months ago

Not if the person realized this a while after being married.

3points

Delenn 5 months ago (edited)

Honest question, I am a little confused: a woman married to a man (born male) and after being married for a time he realized he was a trans woman (was born male but identified as woman). The trans woman (who was still biologically male) told the wife and they decided tostay together. Is it correct? I am sorry, I am not trying to offend any trans who are here, just trying to understand who was who. With so little information I think there is a lot of people in the comments that are confused like me.

2points

LandAhoy 5 months ago

Yes you have it correct.

0points

Gary Geracci 4 months ago

If you were together a while, she must've had damn good doctors!

0points

nanofarad 6 months ago

So you dated this girl for long enough to get married and never ever had sex?

0points

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 6 months ago

Ow... that's a difficult one. I dont know if I could stay married

0points

Ivona 6 months ago (edited)

How can he not know that this person is genetically male? Was there no male anatomy visible?

0points

Christine Brand 6 months ago

From other comments, wife found out husband was a trans woman and they now both live as women.

1point

BoredPossum 6 months ago

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Bobert Robertson 6 months ago

I mean I live in a country that doesn't judge people for premarital sex, but lots of people CHOOSE to wait

2points

Lee Banks 6 months ago

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Bobert Robertson 6 months ago

You're crazy if you believe that.

-2points

Sophia L. 6 months ago

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Hugh Cookson 6 months ago

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Svenne O'Lotta 6 months ago

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corey sevenker 6 months ago

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Michael Largey 6 months ago

I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but you need to spend more time on the Internet.

10points

Guess Undheit 6 months ago

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Toe Jam 6 months ago

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Marcos Valencia 6 months ago (edited)

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Tropical Tarot 6 months ago

WTF does that even mean?

5points

laser_marquise , FOX/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#22

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He hates mushrooms. I used to make this mushroom lasagna with 4 kinds of mushrooms and a mushroom bechamel and he would eat seconds! The deep streak of British politeness meaning he would eat whatever I made didn't break until a few years into marriage.

Final score:

69points

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Screaming_Icecream 6 months ago

I believe this is one of the reasons the British people are so cautious with unfamiliar food! Once one accepts the portion, one has to eat it up to be polite, no matter how deeply repulsive it is for them. A student friend of mine cried in the toilet after she heroically ate the whole helping of traditional Slav meat jelly... So safer to decline anything unknown, always.

25points

duckdontbackdown , Emma Bauso/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#23

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That right up until the night before we got married that his family was trying to talk him out of getting married and even went so far as to say they’d cover for him if he cheated (he did not cheat and had no desire to).

I’m glad he hid it before we married(I was dealing with wedding stress plus sick my own seriously ill parents so hearing this when we were engaged would have sent me over the edge). He did tell me not long after we got married.

Will say that I’ve not fully trusted my Inlaws since then, and it’s been over 20 years.

Final score:

64points

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Saphyre Fyre 6 months ago

I wouldn't trust them at all; let alone fully. At least you can trust your mate.

25points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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#24

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Not my spouse, but my friends' spouse hid kids he didn't take care of. The way she found out? Getting a letter from the IRS that their refund was snatched for back child support.

rednecksnextdoor , Ana Klipper/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

63points

POST

Ephemera Image 6 months ago

Oof.

14points

WhatTheActualFluff , Nixon Johnson/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#25

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can catch flies in mid air like a f*****g ninja.

Final score:

63points

POST

Kat 6 months ago

I can do that! 😁

5points

jellybeancountr , photo nic/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#26

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His affairs. I married someone who was actively dating many other women and really great at hiding it - until we got married - then suddenly the affairs were everywhere and he didn’t try to hide them. Divorced now, obviously.

Final score:

58points

POST

Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

sex addict?

8points

SapphireWork , Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#27

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Our wedding night, I woke up from a deep sleep because he had terrible gas. His farts were so loud, and often, I actually felt badly for him! In the morning I asked if he was feeling okay, if the food had upset his stomach, if he needed to postpone our honeymoon trip…

He had been holding it in for the five years we were dating.

Final score:

56points

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Diolla 6 months ago

That's dedication, 😂

40points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#28

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Bowel issues. They’re genetic and cause him to last an hour in the restroom daily. It really sucks when I have to pee.

Also how destructively envious his mom was of my family. Explained why she’s always so critical of me, she’s looking for ways to tear me down to her level.

thefifthtrilogy , Alex Simpson/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

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Bored something 6 months ago

They really need a two toilet house.

57points

edengetscreative , Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#29

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) $20,000 worth of credit card debt.

Final score:

55points

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Ouch

7points

DorkasaurusRex6 , Yi Liu/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#30

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can juggle lol like how did this not come up until after 8 years?

Final score:

53points

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Michael Largey 6 months ago

Only when you get married does the need to juggle things become paramount. Just ask my third and/or fifth wife.

6points

Unique-Connection-78 , Lukas Rychvalsky/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#31

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Kids, his age, his felonies/attempt of m*rder charge, he didn’t own the house he was living like he said he did, a prior marriage. God that’s probably more but this was over 10 years ago.

Final score:

53points

POST

Saphyre Fyre 6 months ago

Who The BLEEP Did I Marry?!?

25points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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#32

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was contributing a percentage of his paycheck to a different bank account. I always knew he had another bank account (aka a personal account… we use our joint account for everything) but I always figured the money in it solely came from “odd jobs” and things of that nature. Then, one day, I saw his paystub, and noticed he was contributing $600 each pay check to his own personal account. It ended up causing the biggest fight we’ve ever had. I wasn’t upset/mad about the fact that he wanted a personal account or that he was contributing toward it- it was the fact that he hid it from me. After that, I set up my own personal account and started contributing $600 per paycheck to it as well.

pbd1996 , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

48points

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Diolla 6 months ago

Which is not bad, but the secrecy is

52points

devinmoore0315 , Annie Spratt/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#33

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Substance addiction.

Final score:

47points

POST

Hugh Cookson 6 months ago

Sadly far too common nowadays - so much for he outdated 'war on d***s' mantra being relevant almost 50 years after the idiot Reagan coined it. Find another way, implement it and sort the problem out - yup, it's going to be difficult but in the long run, surely it will benefit everyone !!

9points

Lolabelle1223 , Diego Lozano/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#34

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he cheated on me and had a kid.

Final score:

47points

POST

that_gay_snake(he/they) 6 months ago

nope. leave him and don't pay money to support him in any way

13points

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#35

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We (thankfully) didn’t get married, but…I knew he had 2 kids from two previous women. I didn’t know about the other 3 from two other women until after we moved in. After we broke up he went on to have 2 more with two other women. He doesn’t take care of a single one.

sunnysideup2323 , Jonathan Borba/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Mark Fergel 6 months ago

You dated Nick Cannon?

9points

IwastesomuchtimeonAB Report

#36

That he loves smelling me with what he now phrases as "deep druggie breaths." And strangely enough also licking me (and I mean in a non-sexual way and not as a precursor to sex). Like, he'll smell my neck in the morning, lightly give me a peck on the shoulder and then also lightly lick it, as though for good measure or something! Very quirky but endearing as well.

Final score:

43points

POST

KillerKiwi 6 months ago

Is he a dog

23points

#37

That he was an abuser who had no interest in attempting to be a decent person after the honeymoon stage ended. Never saw it coming...

effingusername123 Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Somethingpenguin 6 months ago

So thats how breweries became rich

0points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#38

That he had severe erectile dysfunction. (We were Jehovah witnesses at the time so no sex before marriage).

sheifale Report

Final score:

34points

POST

kiley767 6 months ago (edited)

You would never purchase a car before taking for a test drive. Same goes with this.

6points

Puzzled-Mushroom8050 , Greta Schölderle Möller/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#39

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Tons of childhood trauma he has yet to deal with and a p*rn addiction.

Final score:

33points

POST

Jinx (she/her) 6 months ago

porn and sex addiction can be devestating, get help if you think you need it, life can be better

14points

Alone_Target_1221 , Kylo/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

#40

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he had a secret brother! I found out the day of our wedding. Funnily enough I couldn't 100% trust my husband after that and yes - he was very secretive about what his plans were and what his thoughts were even on a daily chat basis! and thats one of the reasons I ended up leaving.

Update:
I wasnt aware of the brother because he had never been mentioned in the 2 years Id known my husband before we married.
I get that men have a lot going on in their minds and I respect that it is the way many sort things out - but keeping the existence of a brother secret was shocking to me.

Even the family never mentioned the brother - he wasn't even in family photos. And he was (still is) the nicest guy.
Im out of my own way now - Im open to life and humans with all their foibles.

Final score:

29points

POST

Fat Harry (Oi / You) 6 months ago

"I get that men have a lot going on in their minds" - I think she vastly overestimates us. I'm still pondering my favourite dinosaur from the previous post.

59points