Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?

The tooth fairy.

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What does a Bulls fan do after they see their team win?

Rewind the VHS tape.

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Smilejustbecause

Smilejustbecause

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2 years ago

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Ha!

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What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

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I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing.

He said, “Knock yourself out!”

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Why are baseball games at night?

The bats sleep during the day.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Why the chemist bring acid to the ballpark? To round the bases

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

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Diane the Dinosaur

Diane the Dinosaur

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2 years ago

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So true. 😄

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What is the most depressing thing about tennis?

You’ll never be as good as a wall.

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Which sport is always in trouble?

BADminton.

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During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said João, age 6.

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Pat Bond

Pat Bond

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2 years ago

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Lol, I'm assuming this joke was made before Germany completey & utterly humiliated/destroyed Brazil in their own world cup in the semi's losing 1-7.

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What are the rules for zebra baseball?

Three stripes and you’re out.

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What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?

Tee!

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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.

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My friend and I visited Canada together for the first time.

We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.

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Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?

They watch cricket, instead.

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What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move?

The splits!

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Where do cheating gymnasts go?

Behind parallel bars!

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What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?

Mad hops.

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Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbars?

All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.

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When should baseball players wear armor?

When they’re playing knight games.

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What did the baseball glove say to the ball?

“Catch ya later!”

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Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?

It’s full of fans.

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Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?

They can’t string together three Ws.

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What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?

Become a referee.

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Why do basketball players like cookies?

It’s just another excuse to dunk.

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What kind of tea do football players drink?

Penaltea.

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What would you name it if you had a basketball-playing shark?

It'd be called Sharq.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Great whites can't jump

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Soccer is a strange game.

It’s a bunch of people running away from their goals.

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How many tennis players does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they all say, “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”

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What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

A bat, of course.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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The umpire union can't tell the difference between a walkout or a strike

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Why couldn’t the dog run in the marathon?

Because he wasn’t a part of the human race!

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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

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What can you serve but never eat?

A volleyball.

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What does a softball pitcher and a professional bowler have in common?

They both know how to throw a strike.

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What is the hardest thing about skateboarding?

Concrete.

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A gymnast walks into a bar... She has then deducted five points.

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I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

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What is cardboard’s favorite sport?

Boxing.

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What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?

Time passes.

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Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?

Kobe-Wan Kenobi.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Darth laker

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My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.

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Which soccer team has nailed their formation?

The Hammers.

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Why do Lakers fans trim their nails with scissors?

Because they hate Clippers.

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Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?

If he raises them both, he’d fall down.

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Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs!

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Why did the soccer ball quit the team?

He was tired of being kicked around.

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Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?

Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.

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Why are basketball players such messy eaters?

They’re always dribbling.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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To get a quarter back you need a sack

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Why couldn’t the all-star football player listen to any music?

He broke all the records.

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Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?

They needed a little team spirit.

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Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests?

He was a tackling dummy.

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What does a hockey play and a magician have in common?

They both do hat tricks.

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Why do hipsters love field hockey?

Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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No pucks given

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Why are hockey players so good at making friends?

They’re quick to break the ice.

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Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?

The defense cleared it.

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Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life.

Just consider the lack of goals.

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How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None — they’re quite happy living in the shadows.

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What does a Timberwolves fan do after they win the finals?

Turn off his Playstation and go to bed.

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I've decided to participate in a competition of stair climbing. I guess I'll definitely have to step up my game.

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Real golfers don’t miss putts, they get robbed.

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I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.

What a Messi guy.

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I had a Kyrie Irving joke but it fell flat.

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Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?

Clubbing.

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Why is tennis a really loud sport?

It's because the players raise quite a racket.

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What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?

Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

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What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream?

“I’d like a soft serve, please!”

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Why was the tennis club’s website down?

They had problems with their server.

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Why couldn’t the bike finish the Olympic race?

It was two-tired.

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If procrastination was an Olympic sport,

I’d compete in it later.

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What do Chelsea and US Navy have in common?

They both spent 50mil on a sub.

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Ethan Young

Ethan Young

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9 months ago

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ha-ha so true mate if someone tell me is not true then bro your wrong

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How do baseball players stay cool?

They sit next to their fans!

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Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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You need a spare

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Where do retired hockey players prefer working?

At the bakery, they are good at icing the cakes.

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What basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?

Tacko Fall.

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What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?

He sent on his subs!

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What do you call 20 FC Barcelona fans in the basement?

A whine cellar.

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What did the football player say to the flight attendant?

“Put me in coach!”

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Detroit lions are always delayed

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I’ve got a great idea for a NBA themed fast-food restaurant.

Shake-Shaq.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Indian food steph curry

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Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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That's bull

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Where do catchers sit at lunch?

Behind the plate.

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What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A baseball team.

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How do baseball players keep in touch?

They touch base every once in a while.

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Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

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What’s Prince Charles’ favorite American basketball team?

Sacramento Kings.

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Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?

He was afraid of the net.

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What's the difference between England and a teabag?

A teabag could stay in the cup for longer.

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Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?

New Jersey.

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How do football players deal with their problems?

They tackle them head-on.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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It always rushed

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Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick

Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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High sticking

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Hockey players are known for their summer teeth.

Summer here, summer there.

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Hockey players are like goldfish.

Just tap on the glass to get their attention.

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How did the soccer pitch end up as a triangle?

Somebody took a corner!

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How do lacrosse players deliver their messages?

They do it by Air Mail.

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What are you going to do if someone asked for a donation for your local swimming pool?

I'd give them a glass of water.

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I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush and one under the water.

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What's a Philosopher's favorite sport?

Mental gymnastics.

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How long does it take for the gymnast to get to practice?

A split second!

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The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

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Why is it never a good idea to take a batsman, who is scared of the short ball, out to a nightclub?

He always gets into a tangle with the bouncer.

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If self-depreciation was a sport, I’d probably be pretty rubbish at that too.

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Why did the skydiving club disband?

Because they had a falling out.

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Why can’t a pig play hockey?

They hog the puck.

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Why do volleyball players like to go swimming?

They enjoy diving in the deep and floating in the shallow.

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Where's the best place to watch the Raiders in the super bowl?

The History Channel.

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Warpath81

Warpath81

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1 year ago

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Raider now in Nevada. Ithough I lost big but dayhum

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How many softball players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're too busy arguing the last call.

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What did the triangle offense say to the ball?

You're pointless.

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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!

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What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Which hockey players can not be trusted? Anyone on the Devils.

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Why can’t the Detroit Lions player get into his own driveway?

Someone painted an endzone on it.

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What happened to the joke that Tom Brady told his receivers?

It went over their heads.

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What does JETS stand for?

Just End The Season.

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Why don’t baseball players join unions?

Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.

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What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys jersey and a dollar bill?

A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.

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Why did the Braves hire a baker?

They needed a new batter.

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What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?

The fence.

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Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

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Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?

Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.

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What do you call twelve millionaires gathered around the TV to watch the NBA Finals?

The Sacramento Kings.

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What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next?

Every sports coach ever.

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Why are hockey rinks rounded?

Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

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What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?

The Zam-bony.

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How do hockey players kiss?

They pucker up.

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Why are soccer players excellent at math?

They know how to use their heads.

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Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?

They were women’s teams.

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I tried to start a soccer club, so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board to get the ball rolling.

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What does a baseball player do when he starts losing his eyesight?

He becomes an umpire.

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Why didn’t the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer!

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