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Never have I thought I’d be taking advice or reading inspirational quotes from a square yellow dish sponge. Here we are, and this is our article on the best SpongeBob quotes.

In all truth, I still haven’t heard a real dish sponge speak (if I did, I’d be very concerned), only the animated version. However, as you will soon see yourself, SpongeBob is one smart sponge and probably one of the wisest animated characters ever. A sponge with deep knowledge about friendships, the value of imagination, kindness, hope, and all the stuff that makes us better people.

Although you wouldn’t expect a sponge to be giving you life advice, the weird aspect of the word’s embodiment makes all of these motivating quotes even better! But, of course, nothing is weirder than real life itself, so why shouldn't you listen to an animated sponge discussing pressing matters with you?

Okay, so you caught me - SpongeBob is not, in fact, a dish sponge, but rather a sea sponge. To be more exact - a multicellular organism with a body full of pores and channels allowing water to circulate through them, consisting of jelly-like mesohyl sandwiched between two layers of cells. The more you know! And no, it doesn't have a brain, so it is probably some divine entity that SpongeBob SquarePants is channeling through him. ~Mystical~.

But enough of all this blabber, and let’s finally go to the SpongeBob quotes we’ve prepared for you! Vote for the funny quotes that stirred something inside you, and share this glorious article with any and all SpongeBob fans that you know!

#1

Patrick’s Genius Moment With Spongebob

Patrick Star looking chill SpongeBob: “Patrick, you’re a genius!”

Patrick: “Yeah, I get called that a lot.”

SpongeBob: “What? A genius?”

Patrick: “No, Patrick.”

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    #2

    Sandy’s Take On The Spread Of Stupidity

    Sandy and Spongebob sitting on a bench watching tv “Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy

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    #3

    Patrick’s Time Management With Sandy

    patrick looking desperate while spongebob and sandy are sideyeing him Sandy: “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”

    Patrick: “Not until 4.”

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    #4

    Spongebob Reflects On The Value Of Memories

    patrick and spongebob in sleeping bags looking happy “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob

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    #5

    Spongebob’s Toughness Tested By A Stubbed Toe

    Spongebob smiling happy “I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.“ – SpongeBob

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    #6

    Plankton’s Dark Farewell To Everyone

    Plankton looking defeated and done “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton

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    #7

    Mr. Krabs’ Life Lesson On Dreams And Kidney Stones

    Mr.Krabs looking sad while talking to spongebob SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.”

    Mr. Krabs: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”

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    #8

    Squidward’s Defense: Public Radio Listener

    Squidward looking angry “You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward

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    #9

    Spongebob’s Out-Of-This-World Doorknob Fact

    Spongebob’s Out-Of-This-World Doorknob Fact “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob

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    #10

    Spongebob’s Unique Take On Driving A Sandwich

    Patrick and spongebob in the Patty Mobile “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob

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    #11

    Spongebob Explains The Art Of Secret Sharing

    spongebob and patrick talking to each other on the phone “Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob

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    #12

    Spongebob Absorbs Blows Like A Sponge

    spongebob talking to gary while having a punch mark in his torso “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob

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    #13

    Squidward’s Classic Line: Wake Me Up When I Care

    squidward going to sleep annoyed "Wake me up when I care." – Squidward

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    #14

    Spongebob’s Advice On Following Your Heart

    Spongebob frying patties while looking proud “Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – SpongeBob

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    #15

    Patrick’s Iconic Response To The Krusty Krab Call

    Patrick answering a call in the krusty krab Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

    Patrick: “No, this is Patrick.”

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    #16

    Spongebob, Patrick, And Squidward's Santa Claus Mix-Up

    squidward talking angrily to confused looking patrick and spongebob Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?”
    Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.”
    Patrick: “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
    SpongeBob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!”

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    #17

    Spongebob And Patrick’s Balloon Crime On Free Balloon Day

    Spongebob crying, patrick looking sad while two police men lock them up behind bars Police: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. [locks SpongeBob and Patrick in jail cell and opens it again after a second] Okay, time’s up. Now get out!”

    SpongeBob: “But… we stole a balloon!”

    Police: “Yeah, on free balloon day!”

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    #18

    Patrick’s Mayonnaise Debate In Squidward’s Band Class

    Patrick raising his hand while holding a trumpet under his other hand Squidward: “OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?”
    Plankton: “Do instruments of torture count?”
    Squidward : “No.”
    Patrick: “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”
    Squidward: “No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.”

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    #19

    Spongebob’s Profound Thoughts On Personal Change

    Spongebob looking confident with a fishbowl and karate choppers “No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob

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    #20

    Mr. Krabs’ Hilarious Refusal To Donate To The Children’s Fund

    Mr. Kranbs angrily talking on the phone “Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?” – Mr. Krabs

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    #21

    Patrick’s Brutally Honest Pep Talk To Squidward

    patrick and squidward sticking their heads in through two windows SpongeBob: “Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!”

    Patrick: “Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.”

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    #22

    Patrick's Confusion Between Bird Talk And Italian

    Patrick whistling to a bird and spongebob is next to him SpongeBob: “Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird.”

    Patrick: “No, SpongeBob, that’s Italian.”

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    #23

    Patrick’s Guess For Annoy Squidward Day

    spongebob pointing to squidward day on the caledar SpongeBob: "Guess what day today is?"

    Patrick: "Annoy Squidward day?"

    SpongeBob: "No silly! That’s on the 15!"

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    #24

    Patrick’s Blissfully Unaware Take On Dumb People

    Patrick drooling on himself “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)” – Patrick

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    #25

    Mr. Krabs And The Smelly Smell

    Mr. Krabs' eyes looking at something suspiciously "Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly." - Mr. Krabs

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    #26

    Patrick’s Request For More Time To Think

    Patrick looking excitedly at spongebob while standing at the enterance SpongeBob: “Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?“

    Patrick: “Um… more time for thinking.”

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    #27

    Squidward’s Grim Outlook On Life At The Krusty Krab

    Squidward telling off spongebob while spongebob looks disappointed “I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” – Squidward

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    #28

    Mr. Krabs’ Definition Of Happiness: Money

    Mr. Krabs raising up his wallet proudly “A 5 letter word for happiness – MONEY.” – Mr. Krabs

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    #29

    Spongebob’s Hilarious Body And Face Dilemma

    Spongebob looking happy while being sat on “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – SpongeBob

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    #30

    Patrick’s Tale Of The Ugly Barnacle

    Patrick talking with a lot of enthusiasm and big eyes “Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick

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    #31

    Spongebob’s Advanced Darkness Discovery

    Spongebob holding up a hand looking torch in a very dark room “This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – SpongeBob

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    #32

    Patrick’s Brilliant New Tactic: Let’s Get Naked!

    Patrick looking very excited with a cocktail SpongeBob: “We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. “

    Patrick: “Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!”

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    #33

    Tough Fish’s Breakfast Without Milk At The Salty Spitoon

    Reg and touch fish angrily talking Reg: "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?"
    Tough Fish: "How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning."
    Reg: "Yeah, so?"
    Tough Fish: "Without any milk."
    Reg: "Uh, right this way. Sorry to keep you waiting."

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    #34

    Squidward’s Cynical View On Serving Smiles

    Swuidward talking while looking very grumpy SpongeBob: “What’s better than serving up smiles?“

    Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”

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    #35

    The Narrator’s Exhausting Wait

    Spongebob intermission text “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator

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    #36

    Spongebob’s Endless Connection Chain

    Spongebob talking with an expressionless look on his face “I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…” – SpongeBob

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    #37

    Squidward Enjoying Spongebob’s Absence

    Squidward looking out of his window with a very excited expression “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.” – Squidward

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    #38

    Spongebob Urging Mr. Krabs To Run Like He’s Not In A Coma

    Spongebob shouting while wearing a beef steak costume “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – SpongeBob

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    #39

    Plankton Takes Away Brain Privileges

    Plankton looking up through a magnifying glass angrily “That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton

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    #40

    Squidward’s House Of Unrecognized Talent

    Squidward looking disinterested while answering a call “Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” – Squidward

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    #41

    Spongebob’s Superfan Moment With Kevin The Sea Cucumber

    Spongebob looking up at Kevin the cucumber with an astonished look Spongebob: “Hi, Kevin. I’m your biggest fan.”

    Kevin the Sea Cucumber: “You’re too kind. Security!”

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    #42

    Spongebob’s Pants-Free Realization

    Squidward and sponebob looking down menacingly “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob

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    #43

    Patrick And Spongebob’s Laughing Confusion

    Patrick being happy with spongebob next to him looking overwhelmed Patrick: “Are they laughing at us?”

    SpongeBob: “No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.”

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    #44

    Spongebob’s Declaration Of Ugly Pride

    Spongebob lifting plushie weights overhead “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob

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    #45

    Patrick’s Epic Two-Word Food: Na. Chos.

    Patrick holding up nachos while surrounded by squidwards and spongebob "Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos." – Patrick

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    #46

    The Flying Dutchman’s Job Description

    Flying Dutchman reading out lout from a book “You’re part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It’ll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like… daytime television.” – Flying Dutchman

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    #47

    Plankton’s Dark Version Of The F.u.n. Song

    Plankton smiling while being squished under spongebob's shoe “F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium… bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton

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    #48

    Patrick’s Sharp Take On Stupidity

    Spongebob and patrick threatening each other “Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick

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    #49

    Patrick Borrowing Spongebob’s Brain

    Patrick Star looking very excited with arms up “Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick

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    #50

    Plankton’s Aggressive Command For Niceness

    Plankton flying while dressed up as a king “Me, aggressive?! How dare you?! Maybe you’re right… I command you to help me be a nicer person!” – Plankton

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    #51

    Spongebob’s Famous “Ravioli Ravioli” Plea

    Robot crabs and chef spongebob calling out for ravioli “Ravioli ravioli. Give me the formuoli.” – SpongeBob

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    #52

    Mr. Krabs’ Grim Take On Survival

    Mr. Krabs covering Spongebob's mouth while flashing a flashlight at him “What doesn’t kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt.” – Mr. Krabs

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    #53

    Spongebob’s Battle With Temptation

    Spongebob looking dried out while looking at some old water “I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I… need… it!?“ – SpongeBob

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    #54

    Spongebob’s Command To Patrick: Time To Go Home

    Patrick on the ground with pants down while spongebob is looking at him with disappointment "Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home." – SpongeBob

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    #55

    Patrick’s Confusion Between Sandy And His Mom

    Spongebob and Patrick star wearing fish tanks on their heads entering Sandy's hone Patrick: "Is Sandy the one I call 'Mom'?"

    SpongeBob: "No Patrick, that’s your mother."

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    #56

    Spongebob’s Unorthodox Use Of Squidward’s Clarinet

    Squidward And Spongebob hugging looking terrified “Squidward... I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob

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    #57

    Spongebob’s Confusing Logic About Cleaning

    Spongebob being tangled up in himself, Patrick and Garry looking at him with blank stares “I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!” – SpongeBob

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    #58

    Patrick’s Dirty Dan Dilemma

    Patrick star looking like a conehead Patrick: “Who are you calling Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan.”

    SpongeBob: “What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?”

    Patrick: “I’m dirty.”

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    #59

    Mr. Krabs’ Ice-Cold Definition Of Cool

    Mr. Krabs looking mad “You wouldn’t know cool if I locked you in the freezer!” – Mr. Krabs

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    #60

    Mr. Krabs’ Secret That No One Must Know

    Mr. Krabs with tears in his eyes “Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one and I means no one can ever know about this. It’ll be the end of you, it’ll be the end of me. And worst of all, it’ll be the end of me!” – Mr. Krabs

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    #61

    Mr. Krabs’ Wisdom: What You Don’t Say Matters

    Mr. Krabs looking alleviated while spomgebob is cheerfully looking at him “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

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    #62

    Patrick’s Classic Forehead Confusion

    Patrick and spongebob looking angry trying to look at their foreheads “I can’t see my forehead!” – Patrick

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    #63

    Patrick’s Hilarious Wumbo Theory

    Patrick star holding a small squidward while spongebob is looking disappointed Spongebob: “Patrick, I don’t think ‘wumbo’ is a real word.”

    Patrick: “Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo, wumbo, wumboing, we’ll have thee wumbo, wumborama, wumbology, the study of wumbo? It’s first grade SpongeBob!”

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    #64

    Sandy’s Quickness: Faster Than A Jackrabbit

    Sandy Cheeks talking on the phone "I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot, greasy griddle, in the middle of August!" – Sandy

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    #65

    Squidward’s Forever Alone Reminder

    Squidward and spongebob laying on the ground covered in dirt "It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever." – Squidward

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    #66

    Patrick’s Insight On Knowledge And Friendship

    Buff Patrick and Buff Spongebob hugging “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick

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    #67

    Patrick’s Ever-Expanding Vocabulary

    Patrick and Spongebob walking and talking “Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick

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    #68

    Patrick’s Bathroom Announcement

    Patrick Str being surrounded by angry and scary fish “Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick

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    #69

    Sandy’s Definition Of Home

    Spongebob and Sandy cheeks being surronded by fish “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy

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    #70

    Patrick’s Realization About Hibernation And Beauty Sleep

    Sandy cheeks hibernating with spongebob and patrick standing next to her “I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick

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    #71

    Patrick’s Take On Growing Up And Jazz

    Squidward in a full body cast sitting in a wheelchair catching jellyfish together with spongebob and patrick “Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick

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    #72

    Squidward’s Daily Struggle With Migraines

    Squidward looking empty clocking into work “Another day, another migraine.” – Squidward

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    #73

    Mr. Krabs’ Rule On Ridiculous Guest Requests

    Sign hung on the wall "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request." – Mr. Krabs

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    #74

    Spongebob’s Optimistic View On Darkness

    Spongebob looking happy in the dark "Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark." – SpongeBob

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    #75

    Spongebob’s Surprise Encounter With Plankton

    Sheldon J. Plankton being squished under spongebob's shoe SpongeBob: "Eww, I think I stepped in something."

    Plankton: "Not in something, on someone!"

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    #76

    Plankton’s Love For Holographic Meatloaf

    Sheldon J. Plankton looking depressed in a kitchen next to a holographic sandwich “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton

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    #77

    Pearl’s Lesson On The New “Cool”

    Pearl Krabs complaining “See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.” – Pearl Krabs

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    #78

    Mr. Krabs’ Three Theories Of Theft

    Mr.Krabs going crazy “Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Mr. Krabs

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    #79

    Spongebob’s Acceptance Of Fiery Friendship Explosions

    Squidward and spongebob laying down on grass being separated by a small wall “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend… Then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob

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    #80

    Sandy’s Comparison Of Evil And Newspaper Comics

    Sandy cheeks very angry woken up from hibernation with spongebob and patrick standing in front of her “You’re nothing but pure evil… just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy

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    #81

    Mrs. Puff’s Harsh Grading Scale

    Mrs. Puff looking disappointed but not surprised at spongebob “You need six hundred to pass, you got six.” – Mrs. Puff

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    #82

    Sandy’s Texas Wrangling Efficiency

    Sandy Cheeks out of water wrangling a worm "Back in Texas, I wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. As far as I'm concerned, doin' em together just saves rope." – Sandy

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    #83

    Spongebob’s Plan To Become A Round-Headed Ghost

    Spongebob making his hand into a ghost while dressed up as a ghost “I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob

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    #84

    Spongebob’s Recipe For Dream Fulfillment

    Magic Shop in Bikini Bottom “If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – SpongeBob

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    #85

    Squidward’s Exasperation With Spongebob’s Jellyfish Marathon

    Spongebob showing squidward a jellyfish while squidward is fully wrapped up “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish… [shouting] FOR 12 HOURS!” – Squidward

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    #86

    Patrick’s Snow-Choking Explanation

    Patrick star being doused with snowballs “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick

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    #87

    Spongebob’s Take On Imagination Over Television

    Spongebob with a rainbow “We don’t need television… not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob

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    #88

    Mr. Krabs’ Childhood Bond With A Dollar

    Mr.Krabs in despair “I was five years old and my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.” – Mr. Krabs

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    #89

    Squidward’s Response: Everybody’s A Critic

    Squidward coming over to spongebobs place looking done “Everybody’s a critic.” – Squidward

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    #90

    Spongebob’s Mossy Survival Tip

    Spongebob Looking a t a rock with moss "Moss always points to civilization." – SpongeBob

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    #91

    Patrick’s Enigmatic Inner Thoughts

    Ptrick star disperantely holding onto a box "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." – Patrick

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    #92

    Squidward’s 100-Year Nap Plan

    Squidward looking depressed, sitting on his bed "I might as well sleep for 100 years or so." – Squidward

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    #93

    Spongebob’s Loyalty To Captain Krabs

    Patrick Star with a board nailed on his forehead “I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob

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    #94

    Patrick’s Deep Dive Into Problem Solving

    Ptrick star looking very pleased with chocolate surrounding his mouth “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick

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    #95

    Mr. Krabs Blames Spongebob For The Tainted Patty

    Mr.Krabs shouting at spongebob “What’s this ‘we’ stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it’s the stony lonesome for you!” – Mr. Krabs

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    #96

    Spongebob’s Confusion Over The Peace Treaty Copy

    Spongebob pointing at shredded paper on the ground in front of squidward “Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty.” – SpongeBob

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    #97

    Spongebob’s Request For A Lifetime Excuse

    Spongbob raising his hand in Mrs.Puffs driving class “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – SpongeBob

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    #98

    Sandy’s Victory Over The Texas Worm

    Sandy cheeks doing a karate chop “Boy, that critter put up some sort of fight, but as you can see, I’m from Texas, and no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail!” – Sandy

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    #99

    Spongebob’s Bomb Factory Revelation

    Pirate fish pointing at explosive pies “Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob

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    #100

    Spongebob’s Love For Staying Indoors

    Spongebob singing with a penny, chip and a napkin in front of him "I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!" – SpongeBob

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    #101

    Plankton’s Advice On Standing Up For Yourself

    Sheldon J. Plankton plotting something “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton

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    #102

    Mr. Krabs’ Free Salad Bar Dilemma

    Mr.Krabs looking mad “I don’t get it. If a free salad bar won’t bring in new customers… what will?” – Mr. Krabs

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    #103

    Spongebob’s Pants-Free Realization

    Spongebob sitting on the couch with no pants “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob

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    #104

    Sandy Defends The Honor Of Texas

    Sandy Cheeks looking very angry "Don't you dare take the name of Texas in vain!" – Sandy

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