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Never have I thought I’d be taking advice or reading inspirational quotes from a square yellow dish sponge. Here we are, and this is our article on the best SpongeBob quotes.
In all truth, I still haven’t heard a real dish sponge speak (if I did, I’d be very concerned), only the animated version. However, as you will soon see yourself, SpongeBob is one smart sponge and probably one of the wisest animated characters ever. A sponge with deep knowledge about friendships, the value of imagination, kindness, hope, and all the stuff that makes us better people.
Although you wouldn’t expect a sponge to be giving you life advice, the weird aspect of the word’s embodiment makes all of these motivating quotes even better! But, of course, nothing is weirder than real life itself, so why shouldn't you listen to an animated sponge discussing pressing matters with you?
Okay, so you caught me - SpongeBob is not, in fact, a dish sponge, but rather a sea sponge. To be more exact - a multicellular organism with a body full of pores and channels allowing water to circulate through them, consisting of jelly-like mesohyl sandwiched between two layers of cells. The more you know! And no, it doesn't have a brain, so it is probably some divine entity that SpongeBob SquarePants is channeling through him. ~Mystical~.
But enough of all this blabber, and let’s finally go to the SpongeBob quotes we’ve prepared for you! Vote for the funny quotes that stirred something inside you, and share this glorious article with any and all SpongeBob fans that you know!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Patrick’s Genius Moment With Spongebob
SpongeBob: “Patrick, you’re a genius!”
Patrick: “Yeah, I get called that a lot.”
SpongeBob: “What? A genius?”
Patrick: “No, Patrick.”
#2
Sandy’s Take On The Spread Of Stupidity
“Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy
#3
Patrick’s Time Management With Sandy
Sandy: “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”
Patrick: “Not until 4.”
#4
Spongebob Reflects On The Value Of Memories
“You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob
#5
Spongebob’s Toughness Tested By A Stubbed Toe
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.“ – SpongeBob
#6
Plankton’s Dark Farewell To Everyone
“Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton
#7
Mr. Krabs’ Life Lesson On Dreams And Kidney Stones
SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.”
Mr. Krabs: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”
#8
Squidward’s Defense: Public Radio Listener
“You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward
#9
Spongebob’s Out-Of-This-World Doorknob Fact
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob
#10
Spongebob’s Unique Take On Driving A Sandwich
“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob
#11
Spongebob Explains The Art Of Secret Sharing
“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob
#12
Spongebob Absorbs Blows Like A Sponge
“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob
#13
Squidward’s Classic Line: Wake Me Up When I Care
"Wake me up when I care." – Squidward
#14
Spongebob’s Advice On Following Your Heart
“Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – SpongeBob
#15
Patrick’s Iconic Response To The Krusty Krab Call
Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”
Patrick: “No, this is Patrick.”
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
The people that downvoted you didn't understand the rest of the quote was that
Load More Replies... #16
Spongebob, Patrick, And Squidward's Santa Claus Mix-Up
Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?”
Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.”
Patrick: “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
SpongeBob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!”
#17
Spongebob And Patrick’s Balloon Crime On Free Balloon Day
Police: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. [locks SpongeBob and Patrick in jail cell and opens it again after a second] Okay, time’s up. Now get out!”
SpongeBob: “But… we stole a balloon!”
Police: “Yeah, on free balloon day!”
#18
Patrick’s Mayonnaise Debate In Squidward’s Band Class
Squidward: “OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?”
Plankton: “Do instruments of torture count?”
Squidward : “No.”
Patrick: “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”
Squidward: “No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.”
#19
Spongebob’s Profound Thoughts On Personal Change
“No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob
#20
Mr. Krabs’ Hilarious Refusal To Donate To The Children’s Fund
“Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?” – Mr. Krabs
#21
Patrick’s Brutally Honest Pep Talk To Squidward
SpongeBob: “Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!”
Patrick: “Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.”
#22
Patrick's Confusion Between Bird Talk And Italian
SpongeBob: “Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird.”
Patrick: “No, SpongeBob, that’s Italian.”
#23
Patrick’s Guess For Annoy Squidward Day
SpongeBob: "Guess what day today is?"
Patrick: "Annoy Squidward day?"
SpongeBob: "No silly! That’s on the 15!"
#24
Patrick’s Blissfully Unaware Take On Dumb People
“Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)” – Patrick
#25
Mr. Krabs And The Smelly Smell
"Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly." - Mr. Krabs
#26
Patrick’s Request For More Time To Think
SpongeBob: “Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?“
Patrick: “Um… more time for thinking.”
#27
Squidward’s Grim Outlook On Life At The Krusty Krab
“I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” – Squidward
#28
Mr. Krabs’ Definition Of Happiness: Money
“A 5 letter word for happiness – MONEY.” – Mr. Krabs
#29
Spongebob’s Hilarious Body And Face Dilemma
“Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – SpongeBob
#30
Patrick’s Tale Of The Ugly Barnacle
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick
#31
Spongebob’s Advanced Darkness Discovery
“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – SpongeBob
#32
Patrick’s Brilliant New Tactic: Let’s Get Naked!
SpongeBob: “We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. “
Patrick: “Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!”
#33
Tough Fish’s Breakfast Without Milk At The Salty Spitoon
Reg: "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?"
Tough Fish: "How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning."
Reg: "Yeah, so?"
Tough Fish: "Without any milk."
Reg: "Uh, right this way. Sorry to keep you waiting."
#34
Squidward’s Cynical View On Serving Smiles
SpongeBob: “What’s better than serving up smiles?“
Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”
#35
The Narrator’s Exhausting Wait
“So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator
#36
Spongebob’s Endless Connection Chain
“I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…” – SpongeBob
#37
Squidward Enjoying Spongebob’s Absence
“Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.” – Squidward
#38
Spongebob Urging Mr. Krabs To Run Like He’s Not In A Coma
“Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – SpongeBob
#39
Plankton Takes Away Brain Privileges
“That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton
#40
Squidward’s House Of Unrecognized Talent
“Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” – Squidward
#41
Spongebob’s Superfan Moment With Kevin The Sea Cucumber
Spongebob: “Hi, Kevin. I’m your biggest fan.”
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: “You’re too kind. Security!”
#42
Spongebob’s Pants-Free Realization
“Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob
#43
Patrick And Spongebob’s Laughing Confusion
Patrick: “Are they laughing at us?”
SpongeBob: “No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.”
#44
Spongebob’s Declaration Of Ugly Pride
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob
#46
The Flying Dutchman’s Job Description
“You’re part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It’ll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like… daytime television.” – Flying Dutchman
#47
Plankton’s Dark Version Of The F.u.n. Song
“F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium… bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton
#48
Patrick’s Sharp Take On Stupidity
“Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick
#49
Patrick Borrowing Spongebob’s Brain
“Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick
#50
Plankton’s Aggressive Command For Niceness
“Me, aggressive?! How dare you?! Maybe you’re right… I command you to help me be a nicer person!” – Plankton
#51
Spongebob’s Famous “Ravioli Ravioli” Plea
“Ravioli ravioli. Give me the formuoli.” – SpongeBob
#52
Mr. Krabs’ Grim Take On Survival
“What doesn’t kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt.” – Mr. Krabs
#53
Spongebob’s Battle With Temptation
“I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I… need… it!?“ – SpongeBob
#54
Spongebob’s Command To Patrick: Time To Go Home
"Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home." – SpongeBob
#55
Patrick’s Confusion Between Sandy And His Mom
Patrick: "Is Sandy the one I call 'Mom'?"
SpongeBob: "No Patrick, that’s your mother."
#56
Spongebob’s Unorthodox Use Of Squidward’s Clarinet
“Squidward... I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob
#57
Spongebob’s Confusing Logic About Cleaning
“I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!” – SpongeBob
#58
Patrick’s Dirty Dan Dilemma
Patrick: “Who are you calling Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan.”
SpongeBob: “What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?”
Patrick: “I’m dirty.”
#59
Mr. Krabs’ Ice-Cold Definition Of Cool
“You wouldn’t know cool if I locked you in the freezer!” – Mr. Krabs
#60
Mr. Krabs’ Secret That No One Must Know
“Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one and I means no one can ever know about this. It’ll be the end of you, it’ll be the end of me. And worst of all, it’ll be the end of me!” – Mr. Krabs
#61
Mr. Krabs’ Wisdom: What You Don’t Say Matters
“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs
#62
Patrick’s Classic Forehead Confusion
“I can’t see my forehead!” – Patrick
#63
Patrick’s Hilarious Wumbo Theory
Spongebob: “Patrick, I don’t think ‘wumbo’ is a real word.”
Patrick: “Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo, wumbo, wumboing, we’ll have thee wumbo, wumborama, wumbology, the study of wumbo? It’s first grade SpongeBob!”
#64
Sandy’s Quickness: Faster Than A Jackrabbit
"I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot, greasy griddle, in the middle of August!" – Sandy
#65
Squidward’s Forever Alone Reminder
"It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever." – Squidward
#66
Patrick’s Insight On Knowledge And Friendship
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick
#67
Patrick’s Ever-Expanding Vocabulary
“Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!” – Patrick
#68
Patrick’s Bathroom Announcement
“Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick
#69
Sandy’s Definition Of Home
“Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy
#70
Patrick’s Realization About Hibernation And Beauty Sleep
“I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick
#71
Patrick’s Take On Growing Up And Jazz
“Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick
#72
Squidward’s Daily Struggle With Migraines
“Another day, another migraine.” – Squidward
#73
Mr. Krabs’ Rule On Ridiculous Guest Requests
"We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request." – Mr. Krabs
#74
Spongebob’s Optimistic View On Darkness
"Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark." – SpongeBob
#75
Spongebob’s Surprise Encounter With Plankton
SpongeBob: "Eww, I think I stepped in something."
Plankton: "Not in something, on someone!"
#76
Plankton’s Love For Holographic Meatloaf
“Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton
#77
Pearl’s Lesson On The New “Cool”
“See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.” – Pearl Krabs
#78
Mr. Krabs’ Three Theories Of Theft
“Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Mr. Krabs
#79
Spongebob’s Acceptance Of Fiery Friendship Explosions
“If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend… Then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob
#80
Sandy’s Comparison Of Evil And Newspaper Comics
“You’re nothing but pure evil… just like newspaper comics.” – Sandy
#81
Mrs. Puff’s Harsh Grading Scale
“You need six hundred to pass, you got six.” – Mrs. Puff
#82
Sandy’s Texas Wrangling Efficiency
"Back in Texas, I wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. As far as I'm concerned, doin' em together just saves rope." – Sandy
#83
Spongebob’s Plan To Become A Round-Headed Ghost
“I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob
#84
Spongebob’s Recipe For Dream Fulfillment
“If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – SpongeBob
#85
Squidward’s Exasperation With Spongebob’s Jellyfish Marathon
“SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish… [shouting] FOR 12 HOURS!” – Squidward
#86
Patrick’s Snow-Choking Explanation
“I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick
#87
Spongebob’s Take On Imagination Over Television
“We don’t need television… not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob
#88
Mr. Krabs’ Childhood Bond With A Dollar
“I was five years old and my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.” – Mr. Krabs
#90
Spongebob’s Mossy Survival Tip
"Moss always points to civilization." – SpongeBob
#91
Patrick’s Enigmatic Inner Thoughts
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." – Patrick
#93
Spongebob’s Loyalty To Captain Krabs
“I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob
#94
Patrick’s Deep Dive Into Problem Solving
“Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick
#95
Mr. Krabs Blames Spongebob For The Tainted Patty
“What’s this ‘we’ stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it’s the stony lonesome for you!” – Mr. Krabs
#96
Spongebob’s Confusion Over The Peace Treaty Copy
“Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty.” – SpongeBob
#97
Spongebob’s Request For A Lifetime Excuse
“Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – SpongeBob
#98
Sandy’s Victory Over The Texas Worm
“Boy, that critter put up some sort of fight, but as you can see, I’m from Texas, and no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail!” – Sandy
#99
Spongebob’s Bomb Factory Revelation
“Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob
#100
Spongebob’s Love For Staying Indoors
"I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!" – SpongeBob
#101
Plankton’s Advice On Standing Up For Yourself
“You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton
#102
Mr. Krabs’ Free Salad Bar Dilemma
“I don’t get it. If a free salad bar won’t bring in new customers… what will?” – Mr. Krabs
#103
Spongebob’s Pants-Free Realization
“Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob
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