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Mom Is Called Creepy And Unhinged: “Out Of Curiosity, I Easily Found Her Address”

Mom Is Called Creepy And Unhinged: “Out Of Curiosity, I Easily Found Her Address”

Mom Is Called Creepy And Unhinged: Parent Proves Their Point To Son’s Teacher By Scaring Her After They Found Her Address“The Audacity Of This Lady”: Parent Goes P.I. Mode After Teacher’s Unreasonable Request“Called Me Unhinged”: Mom Annoyed A Teacher Demanded That Her Son’s Birthday Include 32 KidsTeacher Tries To Make Parent Throw A Party For The Whole Class, Gets Shut DownTeacher Demands Mom Invite The Whole Class To Son’s B-Day, Gets Threatened Instead“I Easily Found Her Address”: Mom Goes Into Creepy Stalker Mode To Prove A Point To TeacherBoy Invites 2 Friends For His Birthday, Teacher Tries To Make Parents Invite The Whole Class
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Helping your kid organize a birthday party is a very normal and reasonable thing to do. Unless your child is a budding socialite, they will normally invite a handful of friends. So getting an invitation demand, out of the blue, from a random third party is not something anyone expects to happen.

A woman wondered if she went overboard with her “revenge” on a nosy and pushy teacher. Instead of the two friends her son invited to his birthday party, his teacher demanded that the mom include 32 kids. We reached out to the mom in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Most parents will set certain limits for parties due to the space they have at home

Image credits: Lisa Fotios/Pexels (not the actual photo)

But one mom perhaps went overboard when her son’s teacher started demanding she invite 32 kids

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Image credits: Yan Krukau/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Antoni Shkraba/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Better-Ad9523

Just because you are someone’s teacher, doesn’t mean you have any say in their birthday

Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

There is no denying that a child should be forced to invite multiple unwanted guests just because some random other party wants it. Similarly, a teacher can’t suddenly start dictating what this mom can and can’t do at home. This is simply not how anything works. After all, her somehow penalizing a newly turned nine year old over this is absurd. It’s like walking up to your neighbors and hammering on their door to demand they change the wallpaper.

So the teacher’s request is entitled, weird and pretty self-important. Indeed, the fact that the mom started by reasoning with her instead of immediately laughing says a lot. Truthfully, most people simply do not have the space, nor mental capacity to host over thirty kids at a time. While it might do wonders for the number of gifts “Sam” gets, it also seems like he is entirely disinterested in having all these random classmates over.

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This is all to say that this teacher appears to be having a power trip about birthday rules she invented without any power to implement, and then proceeds to apartment-shame a mom for a lack of space. While there is a kernel of “good intentions” here, it seems nearly impossible to justify her actions. In other words, the teacher would rather attempt to enforce fake rules than allow a boy to have the birthday he wants.

“Leaking” someone’s address is no laughing matter

Image credits: Sean Patrick/Pexels (not the actual photo)

So the real question is whether the mom went overboard with her “revenge.” First of all, asking the teacher to host, if it truly was such a big deal, is a solid move. It fits perfectly with her twisted logic and it would be a small sacrifice to make, if it’s so vitally important that all the kids end up included.

However, on the other hand, searching her address is one thing, when you’re seeing red the feeling is that anything goes. Then writing it in an email and sending it out to a huge amount of people is just too far. Accidentally leaking someone’s address is generally terrible at the best of times, doing it on purpose is very mean. After all, this mom could have simply told the teacher no, there was nothing she could have done about it.

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Instead, the very threat of this sort of retaliation is just excessive. This is the sort of thing that will color her relationship with this teacher forever. Look from the teacher’s perspective, setting aside the bizarre birthday request, this woman is suddenly threatening you with an inflammatory email about inviting kids over. What if this isn’t even her rule, but something the school forces her to do? What if she was under pressure from previous experiences? These sorts of threats are just excessive.

Many readers thought everyone was sort of being a jerk

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A few thought she went way too far

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But some saw where she was coming from

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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notlikeyou1971
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to get downvoted but hear me out 1st. I'm Gen X so that's my explanation. I applaud the parent/OP for refusing to give in to the teacher's demands. I'm so sick of this " invite everyone " attitude. A child shouldn't be forced to do that. If they don't like someone or are bullied by a classmate they shouldn't have to invite a bully to their party. Another thing a teacher shouldn't have the right to dictate that anyway. It's not their business and rejection is a part of life. Kids when I was growing up weren't always invite to each other's parties and they got over it and life went on. They won't always be invited to things when they get older either. Quit coddling everyone. I'm glad that someone stood up for themselves and in not so many words found a way to tell the teacher to " mind their business " and if they want a say then it's going to take place at their house. Maybe the parent went a little bit overboard but the teacher might think twice before pulling this again with other parents again. It's not her right or place and if she did it with me I would tell her to go f**k herself and mind her business.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? This BS is in line with "participation trophies." Everyone does NOT get invited to everything. Get used to it.

Load More Replies...
Darthest Starfish
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, NTA. Bet she learned a damn lesson though and won't be pushing parents to do this again in the future.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher backed down without apologising. Not the manners I expect her to be teaching the children. I applaud the OP.

Matthew Famolare
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should the teacher apologize? I didn’t hear any insults or anything of that nature coming from the teacher.

Load More Replies...
tori Ohno
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creepy and intrusive? What do you call a teacher who gets into a student's file, calls the parent, and says you have to invite 32 strangers into your home this weekend? Only the principal should be in those files, and only if your kid breaks the rules.

Gwyn
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have to wonder if the teacher had incomplete information and didn't know that it was a sleepover, because who would insist you have to invite the whole class for a sleepover? She probably had one kid complain and thought one or two kids got left out.

Janissary35680
Community Member
Premium
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That occurred to me too. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt unless I have reason to do otherwise. 2 out of 30 kids not being invited is a problem; 30 out of 32 kids not being invited isn't.

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This went too far, because it's gone into things a teacher will have to document. It wasn't her business getting involved in the party, but any indication a teacher might invite students into their home is a big deal. If someone hears about it and gets the story wrong, teacher could be in a lot of trouble, so she will have to repot to cover her own a*s. She has no idea if OP will follow through. Not with your PVG or similar clearance to work with vulnerable groups. OP should have left it with, will you be hosting then. Not to mention following an angry exchange with I know where you live is very close to the legal threshold for a threat.

Nimitz
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Standard case of a self-righteous person escalating instead of taking the moral victory and moving on. Ended up being just as bad or worse and building a social barrier for herself, the teacher, and her son.

Load More Replies...
dandylilah
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like she took one for the team and put a stop to this teachers nosey behavior. Your welcome, all the parents of her future students.

Livingwithcfs
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really don't like this idea of all children in a class need to be invited to a birthday party. A child should be able to say who they want to celebrate their day. Also it sets up unrealistic expectations for all children tgat they will be included in every event... life is not fair you are not going to get to go to every event, you don't get to be friends with everyone. As for the teacher - serves her right. She has no right to insist a parent have every child in a class to their house - poor showing on her part and good on OP for calling her out in great style

Matthew Famolare
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is different from the situations where all but 1 or 2 of the kids in class get invited. He’s having 2 friends over for his birthday? I highly doubt the other 18 to 28 kids will feel left out. If she had a party and invited everyone but for 1 or 2 kids….. then that’s being a rotten person. I’m going NTA on this but I also suspect I don’t want to be friends with this woman.

JD
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not overboard. It was bold to "demand" anything about anyone else's birthday party. What is with these teachers who don't understand how stupid this "if you mention your birthday party at school, you have to invite the whole class" So, everyone's supposed to treat their birthday party like a dirty secret? You have to teach children about disappointment, and not being invited to a party is the perfect time to start.

Surly Scot
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, stupid entitled people need slapped back into place. OP did this wonderfully, and OP's husband was wrong for calling her unhinged, he needs a spine.

CrochetPanda
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"There is no denying that a child should be forced to invite multiple unwanted guests just because some random other party wants it." The author of this article (not the Reddit post writer) needs to learn to proofread before publishing the page. Unless they actually meant to suggest that this kid SHOULD be forced to invite everyone...

AR
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have no problem with what the mom did because she wasn’t actually going to share the address, she was making a point that the teacher way overstepped. What happens for a student’s party is none of her business.

CBolt
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, & apparently having to invite the entire class is not a school policy. I might have called the school office (or gone there) & in a "confused" or "quizzical" voice said, "My son is in Miss X's class & she called me & said the whole class had to be invited to his birthday party this weekend -- is that a school policy I didn't know about?? Because he just wanted his 2 friends & anyway we don't have room for that many kids & she said I should find a bigger place for the party. I don't think this is fair & I really don't like it that she called me at home to tell me what I had to do." That would have gotten her off your case since somebody from the office would surely "speak to her." "Well, I don't want to get her in trouble. She might take it out on my son." So you've gotten her to leave you alone abt inviting the whole class & if she had any ideas abt retaliating against your son (after being "spoken to"), you've laid the groundwork in case she does start to treat him unfairly. As for invading her privacy by finding her email & home addresses, who is foolish enough these days to have any expectation of privacy? Just googling a person's name will give you just about anything you want to know, & more, with 1 or 2 keystrokes & I can't see how that could be considered stalking. You sent her an email with suggested wording for inviting the whole class; I'm sure she knows what information is available on line; & you didn't send the invitation email to the classmates' parents, nor did you have any intention of doing so - you simply asked her opinion of the wording. Can't see how she could twist that into as a threat unless the idea of 32 children in her home was terrifying to her. Sometimes it works best to jump in & play out the game to get the result you want.

Libstak
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was having a total of 2 kids over for a sleepover it wasn't even a "party". That teacher was completely out of line, I don't blame the mum for going nuclear on her but I do find d it creepy she looked up her address online.

Denise Melek
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahaha, made my day. Maybe it's even useful for the teacher to know her address is online.

Nimitz
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now imagine if it had been a single father telling a female teacher he knows her address. It was highly inappropriate. And yes, everyone agrees inviting every kid is dumb, but you don't go attacking someone's sense of safety. Ever.

Reta Murphy
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boomer here and sometimes teachers try to control every aspect of student and parent's lives. Good on parent for handing it back to the teacher. To the husband, what does that say about you? You married your "unhinged" wife.

Jaya
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doxing is an actual crime in some countries. And OP herself knew that she was only threatening and wasn't gonna go through with it, but the teacher couldn't know that. So yeah, WAY too far. Don't be surprised if you and your kid are no longer welcome at this school.

Bryn
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is doxxing? The mother didn't actually send the announcement saying the party was at the teacher's house.

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Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
3 days ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you don't want your address to be public make it private

notlikeyou1971
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to get downvoted but hear me out 1st. I'm Gen X so that's my explanation. I applaud the parent/OP for refusing to give in to the teacher's demands. I'm so sick of this " invite everyone " attitude. A child shouldn't be forced to do that. If they don't like someone or are bullied by a classmate they shouldn't have to invite a bully to their party. Another thing a teacher shouldn't have the right to dictate that anyway. It's not their business and rejection is a part of life. Kids when I was growing up weren't always invite to each other's parties and they got over it and life went on. They won't always be invited to things when they get older either. Quit coddling everyone. I'm glad that someone stood up for themselves and in not so many words found a way to tell the teacher to " mind their business " and if they want a say then it's going to take place at their house. Maybe the parent went a little bit overboard but the teacher might think twice before pulling this again with other parents again. It's not her right or place and if she did it with me I would tell her to go f**k herself and mind her business.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? This BS is in line with "participation trophies." Everyone does NOT get invited to everything. Get used to it.

Load More Replies...
Darthest Starfish
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, NTA. Bet she learned a damn lesson though and won't be pushing parents to do this again in the future.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher backed down without apologising. Not the manners I expect her to be teaching the children. I applaud the OP.

Matthew Famolare
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should the teacher apologize? I didn’t hear any insults or anything of that nature coming from the teacher.

Load More Replies...
tori Ohno
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creepy and intrusive? What do you call a teacher who gets into a student's file, calls the parent, and says you have to invite 32 strangers into your home this weekend? Only the principal should be in those files, and only if your kid breaks the rules.

Gwyn
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have to wonder if the teacher had incomplete information and didn't know that it was a sleepover, because who would insist you have to invite the whole class for a sleepover? She probably had one kid complain and thought one or two kids got left out.

Janissary35680
Community Member
Premium
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That occurred to me too. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt unless I have reason to do otherwise. 2 out of 30 kids not being invited is a problem; 30 out of 32 kids not being invited isn't.

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This went too far, because it's gone into things a teacher will have to document. It wasn't her business getting involved in the party, but any indication a teacher might invite students into their home is a big deal. If someone hears about it and gets the story wrong, teacher could be in a lot of trouble, so she will have to repot to cover her own a*s. She has no idea if OP will follow through. Not with your PVG or similar clearance to work with vulnerable groups. OP should have left it with, will you be hosting then. Not to mention following an angry exchange with I know where you live is very close to the legal threshold for a threat.

Nimitz
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Standard case of a self-righteous person escalating instead of taking the moral victory and moving on. Ended up being just as bad or worse and building a social barrier for herself, the teacher, and her son.

Load More Replies...
dandylilah
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like she took one for the team and put a stop to this teachers nosey behavior. Your welcome, all the parents of her future students.

Livingwithcfs
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really don't like this idea of all children in a class need to be invited to a birthday party. A child should be able to say who they want to celebrate their day. Also it sets up unrealistic expectations for all children tgat they will be included in every event... life is not fair you are not going to get to go to every event, you don't get to be friends with everyone. As for the teacher - serves her right. She has no right to insist a parent have every child in a class to their house - poor showing on her part and good on OP for calling her out in great style

Matthew Famolare
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is different from the situations where all but 1 or 2 of the kids in class get invited. He’s having 2 friends over for his birthday? I highly doubt the other 18 to 28 kids will feel left out. If she had a party and invited everyone but for 1 or 2 kids….. then that’s being a rotten person. I’m going NTA on this but I also suspect I don’t want to be friends with this woman.

JD
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not overboard. It was bold to "demand" anything about anyone else's birthday party. What is with these teachers who don't understand how stupid this "if you mention your birthday party at school, you have to invite the whole class" So, everyone's supposed to treat their birthday party like a dirty secret? You have to teach children about disappointment, and not being invited to a party is the perfect time to start.

Surly Scot
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, stupid entitled people need slapped back into place. OP did this wonderfully, and OP's husband was wrong for calling her unhinged, he needs a spine.

CrochetPanda
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"There is no denying that a child should be forced to invite multiple unwanted guests just because some random other party wants it." The author of this article (not the Reddit post writer) needs to learn to proofread before publishing the page. Unless they actually meant to suggest that this kid SHOULD be forced to invite everyone...

AR
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have no problem with what the mom did because she wasn’t actually going to share the address, she was making a point that the teacher way overstepped. What happens for a student’s party is none of her business.

CBolt
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, & apparently having to invite the entire class is not a school policy. I might have called the school office (or gone there) & in a "confused" or "quizzical" voice said, "My son is in Miss X's class & she called me & said the whole class had to be invited to his birthday party this weekend -- is that a school policy I didn't know about?? Because he just wanted his 2 friends & anyway we don't have room for that many kids & she said I should find a bigger place for the party. I don't think this is fair & I really don't like it that she called me at home to tell me what I had to do." That would have gotten her off your case since somebody from the office would surely "speak to her." "Well, I don't want to get her in trouble. She might take it out on my son." So you've gotten her to leave you alone abt inviting the whole class & if she had any ideas abt retaliating against your son (after being "spoken to"), you've laid the groundwork in case she does start to treat him unfairly. As for invading her privacy by finding her email & home addresses, who is foolish enough these days to have any expectation of privacy? Just googling a person's name will give you just about anything you want to know, & more, with 1 or 2 keystrokes & I can't see how that could be considered stalking. You sent her an email with suggested wording for inviting the whole class; I'm sure she knows what information is available on line; & you didn't send the invitation email to the classmates' parents, nor did you have any intention of doing so - you simply asked her opinion of the wording. Can't see how she could twist that into as a threat unless the idea of 32 children in her home was terrifying to her. Sometimes it works best to jump in & play out the game to get the result you want.

Libstak
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was having a total of 2 kids over for a sleepover it wasn't even a "party". That teacher was completely out of line, I don't blame the mum for going nuclear on her but I do find d it creepy she looked up her address online.

Denise Melek
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahaha, made my day. Maybe it's even useful for the teacher to know her address is online.

Nimitz
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now imagine if it had been a single father telling a female teacher he knows her address. It was highly inappropriate. And yes, everyone agrees inviting every kid is dumb, but you don't go attacking someone's sense of safety. Ever.

Reta Murphy
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boomer here and sometimes teachers try to control every aspect of student and parent's lives. Good on parent for handing it back to the teacher. To the husband, what does that say about you? You married your "unhinged" wife.

Jaya
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doxing is an actual crime in some countries. And OP herself knew that she was only threatening and wasn't gonna go through with it, but the teacher couldn't know that. So yeah, WAY too far. Don't be surprised if you and your kid are no longer welcome at this school.

Bryn
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is doxxing? The mother didn't actually send the announcement saying the party was at the teacher's house.

Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
3 days ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you don't want your address to be public make it private

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