"Just a joke", well I guess we get where the son learned it. I'm against "shaming" children, but apologizing for wrong doing is teaching them and the son got to hear from the person about their perspective.

Looks like his dad needs some lesson too

Mouth filters don't work well on young teens. All the more reason to train him to think before he speaks - and then think again. Kid will remember this - which is the POINT of punishments!

I got worse news for you than worrying about your punishment being too harsh. Your husband is going to teach your son that he is superior and to be racist. And there is no way to undo that unless you and he agree together that racism is taught (particularly at home) and you and he are going to have to put on a united front to stop it.

Good on you mama!! Your husband needs to be served a harsh lesson for condoning this behavior even if it is covert. Also if you think there is friend influence, don't tell the kid he can't be friends with this person, just forbid this friend from the house or your son going over to his house. Maybe talk with this kids folks, if the folks are total d***s then evaluate a full ban. Ooh let the kids school know they need to do more lessons on tolerance, racism, and that business.

Any time someone says "its just a joke" when they say something racist, misogynist, homophobic ect means THEY are the asshole and are now defensive at being called on it

"It's just a joke". So, what's the joke then? Oh, it's just a racist asshole comment?

Ever notice every shitty human on earth always says "its just a joke!" when people get upset over a stupid comment? If something is a joke we are all going to find it funny. Insulting culture, ethnicity, physical appearance, mental illness etc is not a joke, its not funny to anyone, its stupid and you sound like an idiot. End rant...

Its ok to punish children. It actually might do them good. Can we stop questioning this

As an Asian person who deals with these kinds of "jokes" on the regular, the mom did exactly the right thing.

When I'd just turned five, I stole a bag of chocolate buttons from a shop on the way home from school. I thought I was so clever. When my mum found out, which she did fairly quickly because five year olds are dumb, she marched me straight back to the shop to apologise. But it wasn't open so she made me confess and apologise in a different shop! Apparently owned by the same person, although I'd not realised at the time. Anyway, that was distressingly close to 40 years ago and is still utterly burned in my memory, it was a very effective lesson.

The fact that the boy waited until the delivery guy was giving them their food to say that makes a huge difference, as it shows he wanted to see the reaction; an attitude that should be nipped in the bud ASAP! It stopped being a joke when the Chinese delivery guy heard what the kid said & his feelings were deeply hurt. The father is definitely in the wrong about that. Racism is NEVER something that should be rubbed in people’s faces! 🤨🙅‍♀️

In an online class someone made a similar comment, but they just don't understand how this just fuels stereotypes and need to be told, just like she did to her son.

If just a joke he would have no problem explaining to the driver why it is soooooooo funny

perfect punishment. learning about the culture he insulted, learning why and how racism is propagated, and having to apologize in person. this is exactly how it should be done.

Apologizing after a racist comment is embarrassing??? Hello, toxic masculinity! You’re gonna be a bitter old fart for the rest of your cholesterol-laden life. Good luck with the lifelong rage! Ughhhhh

NOT A JOKE! Good on you, mama! 💕

your husband need that lesson too

Jokes should punch up not down. And racism is never excusable. That husband tho ew

I understand the mother's intent with requiring the child to do research and write two papers. However, as a high school teacher who works with struggling students, I am always torn about assigning research or writing as punishment. Writing the apology is the correct thing to do, to balance for his unacceptable comments. Perhaps requiring research and a discussion (a written paper if the child prefers), could be followed with a reward for completing the assignment. He's doing the research because of his poor comment, It is opportunity for him to learn and grow, not a punishment for him. The reward for his expanding his knowledge, and proving that he has expanded it, is an ice cream sundae, a new game, something notable but not extremely expensive.

Unless the son was saying to hide the cat because the cat tries to eat the food, punishment absolutely fits.

He wasn't being racist he was stereotyping

This mom is definitely NTA. The essay was a bit much, but not the apology. Her son owed that delivery driver an apology. Comments about someone's race or culture is not and never will be a joke. According to the mother, the driver didn't fall over laughing so apparently they didn't find the joke funny.

The dad sounds like a 'real gem' of a human. The commenter who noted that this is how systemic racism perpetuates is exactly right. Humans... we're very complex. Everything is context. Do I say dumb sh** that sounds super racist about East Asians (I am Chinese, btw, put the rocks down.)? Yeah, sure I do... in the context of saying it only with people who are my close friends who know me VERY WELL and thus know I'm just being a sarcastic dork when I'm saying it and that it's more me being ironic about certain stereotypes... not that I or they think it's a "truth". Wanna bet the dad would get into a frothing rage if you said some stereotype-myth joke about his ethnic background?

Reminds me of that Alexandre Bissonnette guy. He committed terrorism, yet, they reduced his sentence because it was "too harsh".

Color and Race. Some people don't have the the sanity to ignore it! Mum did the right thing better than I would have got do you know how much a wooden spoon hurts. Are there any racist jokes against whites?

In no way did he say Chinese people are bad

It sounds like the kid didn't realize he was making a racist comment. From the text he sounded like he was worried the cat would eat the food. However, I don't think the punishment was too severe. At the very least the apology isn't. It's odd hearing about someone having to write when outside of a school setting, but it's not a bad punishment either.

That public apology is dumb and is not necessary. That is really something disproportionate for a bad joke. Yes it's a bad one and it's ok to apologize. But because a stupid teenager makes a stupid joke doesn't mean he's a terrible hateful racist person. Woke culture is so hypocritical anyway. My American friends make a lot of jokes about Italian people because I am Italian and some of them involve mafia and stuff but I find them hilarious and I'm never offended because I know it doesn't come from hate.

Racist? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7951691/Horrific-footage-yelping-dog-barbecued-alive-Chinese-market-shared-activists.html

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Most drivers go along with the joke. They tell the kids ( we only eat kids, dogs, bats,. dolphins, etc..)

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I find it so sad that this punishment had to happen. We have society in such a state that if you are not watching every simple word you speak you are classed as racist. A while ago I was fed up with being told "that is not acceptable", so I asked a black lady what I should say so I did not cause offence, she replied "XX, I am black and PROUD to be black" So how is saying she was black could be regarded by others to be racist if a white person said it? I am not racist and was brought up to treat everyone the same but these days that gets you into endless trouble.