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19YO In Tears As She Can’t Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed
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19YO In Tears As She Can’t Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed

19YO In Tears As She Can't Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed“It’s Not His Job To Look After Her”: Mom Blames Son For Abandoning Adult Sis During Night OutBro Promises To Look After 19YO Sis On Their Night Out, Mom Is Beyond Livid After He Abandons HerMom Is Beyond Angry That Her 25YO Son Abandoned His 19YO Sis On A Night Out In A High-End PlaceMom Can't Hold Back Her Anger Against Son For Abandoning 19YO Sis Who Has Never Been ClubbingClubbing Night Goes Down The Drain As Sis Leaves In Panic, Calls Mom Who Thinks Bro Abandoned HerPanicked 19YO Can't Find Bro At London Club, Breaks Down And Calls Mom Who Is Beyond Furious19YO In Tears As She Can't Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed19YO In Tears As She Can't Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed19YO In Tears As She Can't Figure Out What To Do After Being Abandoned By Bro In London, Mom Vexed
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I remember the first time I went clubbing and the loud music was enough to burst my eardrums, so I knew this was definitely not my scene. Of course, over time, I got used to it, but the first times always stick with you in a way, don’t they?

Anyway, speaking of clubbing, the original poster (OP) was furious with her son for abandoning his sister when they went clubbing in London. Folks online were left in a heated debate as some felt the mom was right while others said that her daughter was old enough to look after herself.

More info: Mumsnet

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When people go clubbing for the first time, some enjoy it while some don’t even know why they went

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster’s son lives in London and his girlfriend works in the entertainment industry, so they took his 19-year-old sister to a party with them

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Image credits: maxtheblackcat

Image credits: Maurício Mascaro / Pexels (not the actual photo)

After midnight, they got a call from their daughter and she was hysterical as she saw people using substances and she couldn’t get a cab in her panicked state

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Image credits: maxtheblackcat

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Her brother and his girlfriend weren’t answering their phones and she couldn’t go back in as the security guard wouldn’t let her in

Image credits: maxtheblackcat

Image credits: Jacob Bentzinger / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Fortunately, a few girls saw her in that state and put her in a cab so she went to the hotel and her parents calmed her down

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Image credits: maxtheblackcat

The poster was furious at her son for abandoning his sister, but her husband felt that she was being unreasonable as he shouldn’t have to babysit his adult sister

Today, we dive into a story that completely divided netizens while they intensely discussed how the situation went down. What happened was that the poster’s 25-year-old son’s girlfriend who works in the entertainment industry invited OP’s 19-year-old daughter to go clubbing with them and a few models.

Now, the poster tells us that her daughter had a very sheltered life coming from where they were, and although she was skeptical about the situation, she didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity and decided to go. Little did she know just how badly things would end up!

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In the middle of the night, the poster and her husband got a call from their daughter, and she was hysterical as she had seen someone use substances, some men had grabbed her waist, and she couldn’t find her brother. In all the frenzy, she had run out of the club and the security guard wouldn’t let her back in to find her brother as her name wasn’t on the list.

Well, the concerned parents also called their son and his girlfriend but neither of them answered and their daughter was so scared that she couldn’t even get a cab. Fortunately, some girls saw her all shaken up, so they put her in a cab and sent her to the hotel, where her parents calmed her down. 

This is where the real conflict arose as the poster felt very angry at her son for abandoning his sister, knowing it was her first time clubbing. On the other hand, her husband felt that she was being unreasonable to expect their son to babysit his adult sister. He also said that it was naive of OP not to think that models use substances, and if their daughter wasn’t confident, she shouldn’t have gone in the first place.

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Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)

After the poster vented online and sought advice, people were of two opinions regarding the story. There were some who totally understood her anger at her son as they claimed they would never do something like that to their younger siblings knowing it was their first time clubbing in a big city.

Research suggests that, in the UK, an estimated 9.5% of people aged 16 to 59 years (approximately 3.1 million people) reported using a substance in the last 12 months. As sad as it sounds, it’s quite a high number, and folks online felt that the 19-year-old reacted quite extremely when she saw someone use substances. 

They also found it questionable that she was not able to get a cab on her own and blamed the poster for being an overprotective parent. According to Youniverse Therapy, “Adult children from overprotective households have low self-esteem and self-worth, and may lack the resilience and confidence that are essential in order to face the world.”

It looks like what they claimed seems to be true. They also agreed with her husband that it was not their son’s job to look after his adult sister, and they felt that she could’ve made a better decision by waiting outside the restroom or finding her brother before getting out of the club.

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In the comments, the poster explained that later they got a call from her son and they sat and discussed how things could’ve been dealt with in a different way. She mentioned that it was unfair of her to be so angry with her son and she didn’t want to judge the life of his girlfriend’s model friends, but she said that her daughter had learned her lesson.

She also updated that her daughter was going out with them again and this time, she felt more confident, and in a way, the poster was proud of her for trying to overcome her fears. What would you have done in OP’s shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Folks were caught in an intense debate as some felt her anger at her son was justified while others found it strange that her “golden child” didn’t know how to get a cab

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Rutuja Dumbre

Rutuja Dumbre

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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Rutuja Dumbre

Rutuja Dumbre

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Do you think the son was responsible for looking after his sister during the night out?
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Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Son said he'd look after his sis + didn't. Don't promise to do something if you're not going to DO it.

Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking after a younger sibling should just be automatic anyway. This was a naive and somewhat sheltered teenager in a noisy crowded club in a big city, with people snorting coke and older men being sleazy. FFS, a big brother’s radar should’ve automatically activated and been keeping close tabs on his baby sister’s whereabouts. And yes, if he didn’t want the responsibility, he should’ve said no to her tagging along.

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Bookworm
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom needs to stop helicoptering and actually equip her adult daughter to take care of herself. To me keeping an eye on someone doesn't mean babysitting them. It means if you notice something wrong you go check on them. Otherwise it's their responsibility to find you if they need something. If she's incapable of getting herself home she has no business going out without mommy to take care of her.

Nicole Weymann
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that at 19 you should be able to extricate yourself out of this kind of situation (i.e. call a taxi, leave a message for brother, and go). On the other hand her brother PROMISED to look out for her, and when she very actively looked for his help he couldn't be found or reached by phone - meaning he wouldn't have been able to notice anything more seriously wrong, either. HeII, at that point I, as little sister, would have been worried about something happening to *him*.

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AKA AKA
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at 19 she should be old enough do this this own BUT her brother promised to look after her so NTA

Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t ever think someone that young can truly take care of themself. I worked in a beach resort, and there were so many heart wrenching stories of young people, who just graduated from either high school or college so 18-22 years old, whose parents let them come to the beach for a week, alone with just their friends and no older person chaperoning (and I don’t mean the 22 year old chaperoning the 18 year olds, I mean an actual adult). Unless they were raised in a rough neighborhood, they have no clue about the absolute shittiness of some people in the world, and how they would take every advantage of someone so vulnerable. Rapes, beatings, and murders happened every summer, all of which could’ve been prevented if the kids were properly chaperoned by someone who can spot trouble before it happens and get them TF out of there. 18-22 year olds, and even some much older than that, simply do not have the experience to recognize, or the self-confidence to take control of , situations that get out of hand, or to even notice everything start to go bad. Especially when everyone, including themselves, are drinking. Someone older, mature, and experienced would’ve predicted it happening, stayed sober, and done everything they could to nip it in the bud. Someone older would also have the moxie to tell unwanted guests to leave, voluntarily or in cuffs—-and would already have the police on the line while doing it. They could also see through the b******t lines used by sleazy types on impressionable young people, and separate the kids from the creeps before anything bad happened. So yeah, a naive and sheltered 19 year old would be very vulnerable to the vultures in a situation like this, and her brother put her in actual danger by not keeping tabs on her whereabouts, and doing everything he could think of to find her when he lost sight of her.

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Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was the baby and only girl, with four older brothers. Not one of them would ever think of losing sight of me in a crowded place. Especially a crowded place full of strangers for me, if not for them. They would be panicking themselves trying to find me, if they hadn’t seen me in the last couple minutes, especially if I hadn’t let them know I was going to the ladies room/stepping out for some fresh air/whatever a 19 year old can think of when out on a club (I shudder to think of what, with some 19 year olds). The reason they did that—-voluntarily, I might add—-was because they love me, and know I would do the same if they went missing when out with me, and seeing my friends. Older bro here needs to grow up some more before having kids of his own, if he can’t even look after his 19 year old sister. This whole situation could’ve gone horribly wrong, especially for a naive teenager in a huge city like London. People just don’t seem to THINK anymore.

Nicole Mann
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you don't leave any female of any age alone in a club without telling them. That is how women get raped when they get seperated from their freinds. So yes mom needs to let her grow up but even expierenced partiers don't abandon female friends in a club.

Cerise Hood
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being in a new place with new people, wouldn't it be overwhelming? She wasn't going in unprepared, she thought the two people she knew would at least send her a text. It's not hard to send a "Everything good?" text. They probably would know about the situation sooner and could arrange a ride for her.

Joe Reaves
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have been able to call a cab (or ask the bouncer to), but the comments about not telling her brother she left are lacking reading comprehension. She couldn't find him and once shed left she tried calling both him and his gf and they didn't answer. How was she meant to tell him anything? And while he shouldn't have to babysit a 19 year old he SAID he would look out for her and then didn't. Don't make promises you aren't going to keep. Especially to your family.

Debbie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kind of laughed at the part where they tried calling the brother "typically he didn't answer" well DUH they are in a club with LOUD MUSIC you nitwit, they won't hear their phones. They should however occasionally check their phones for messages or keep an eye out for DD - not every minute but just know where she is or let her know where they are.

Nikki Angulo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I went bars back in university days, we looked out for each other because you never know when someone might try something. She is 19, but that’s still a teenage girl! Brother should have been watching out for her, since he said he would and she went there with them! What if someone had put something in her drink and something terrible had happened? She could have wound up dead at the very worst! I have a younger brother and though he got on my nerves a LOT, no one messes with him and gets away with it on my watch! (Even now and he’s in his 40’s! lol)

Pamacious
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he agreed to look out for her, then he was responsible. That was one of the conditions under which the daughter felt it was safe enough to go. He endangered her by not keeping his word.

varwenea
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH situation. It might not be easy to keep an eye on anybody depending on how crowded it is. The daughter panicked, went out, and can't get back in. At 19, the parents should have at least pre-planned that if she separates, grab an Uber to return to hotel and have the app ready. Everyone is at fault.

H R
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then why are almost every woman on a lookout for the other woman? Dear brother, hefailed.

Joe Bloe
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All that because she feel uncomfortable taking a cab at night...

Regina Holt
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brother said he would look out for her. He didn't do that. He bears responsibility. And daughter couldn't find her brother. Girl went outside in a panic because of what she saw and getting bothered by some unknown guys in there, not knowing that she would not have been able to get back in. Not her fault. As for her looking for brother, I've never been in a club, I've only seen them on TV, but the crazy loud sounds and crazy lights would make me upset also. And to find her brother in all that chaos? How do people even find their companions once they get separated? Going into that situation scares the heck out of me.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People find their group because the group actually answers texts. If my friends don’t answer my messages I’d never able to find them.

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tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an awful mother! A 19 year old woman who has a meltdown because someone is snorting pepsi in front of her, and she can't figure out how to call a cab, all because big brother isn't babysitting her? And this " mother" agreed with the meltdown? She did her daughter a disservice by raising her to be a fragile, sheltered, little cretin of a snowflake. She doesn't stand a chance in the real world at this rate. Give her to her brother to finish raising, he'll do a much better job.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She had a meltdown because her brother didn’t keep his promise and never answered his phone. I go out all the time but if I lose my friends at a party and they don’t answer their phone within 10 minutes (or 2 minutes if people are doing any kind of d***s) I’d be beyond livid. If they abandoned me like that in a strange country where I had to figure out how to call a cab while I was intoxicated and alone on the street in the middle of the night I would never speak to them again.

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P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom raised a helpless female.....Mom needs to come to the realization her daughter is grown and can't take care of herself. Son is kind of pr**k because he said he WOULD watch after his sister, and didn't. The least he could have done is answer his stupid phone.

HappyPanda
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daughter is a very naive adult. How can bro know she left without telling her telling him? It's common for bouncers in exclusive clubs not to let people back in when they exist - everyone wants to get in the top clubs. That's why bro had an invite to get in. Not bro's fault, he's probably dancing, having a good time, can't hear phone. Daughter never told him she was leaving. She doesn't have the common sense to ask the bouncer how to call a cab? That's on mom. Both Mom and DD (Dumb Daughter are ESH

DC
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One sided at best. I've been with a friend, who was in the very same situation, having his sister with him. She went to the bathroom, didn't return, but when returning home, we met her and his mother, both screaming at us, for abandoning her, while we had spent the entire night searching and didn't reach them by phone (mobile was a thing then, but often unreliable, and it was sort of rural). Little sisters can be a PITA already, and that's fine, sort of, but that's just unreasonable. The mother, of course, had no way of knowing any of this and believed her favourite child. Still does. One factor that contributed to no contact in a few years by now.

Gatorraid
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm on the side that the OP shouldn't have let her daughter go because how sheltered do you have to be to NOT know people do d***s in clubs, men and women are sleazy in clubs etc and at the same time the brother might need to be held accountable too. He knew of his sister's fidgetiness and both he and his girlfriend did promise to look out for her but they didn't do that. There is some responsibility to be held for both sides (mother daughter and son gf). I'm the middle child of an autistic older brother and a teen younger brother so ik my responsibility as the oldest brother not by age but mentality so I always keep an eye on both of them making sure one is with someone we know and the other isn't goofing off away from us. (Both of my brothers got lost in two separate but huge malls so it was natural of me to keep an eye on them). There isn't an update yet so I can't give my thoughts 100% yet so I will wait for one or someone can find it and post it in the comments if there is one.

Gatorraid
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoever downvoted me you Sir/Ma'am/IT are an irresponsible adult.

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Laure Miller
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Scared to be in a cab alone?? This child needs to stay home with Mommy and Daddy, then.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take it you’ve also lived a very sheltered life. There are tons of stories of people (especially women) getting murdered when taking a cab by themselves.

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Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Son said he'd look after his sis + didn't. Don't promise to do something if you're not going to DO it.

Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking after a younger sibling should just be automatic anyway. This was a naive and somewhat sheltered teenager in a noisy crowded club in a big city, with people snorting coke and older men being sleazy. FFS, a big brother’s radar should’ve automatically activated and been keeping close tabs on his baby sister’s whereabouts. And yes, if he didn’t want the responsibility, he should’ve said no to her tagging along.

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Bookworm
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom needs to stop helicoptering and actually equip her adult daughter to take care of herself. To me keeping an eye on someone doesn't mean babysitting them. It means if you notice something wrong you go check on them. Otherwise it's their responsibility to find you if they need something. If she's incapable of getting herself home she has no business going out without mommy to take care of her.

Nicole Weymann
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that at 19 you should be able to extricate yourself out of this kind of situation (i.e. call a taxi, leave a message for brother, and go). On the other hand her brother PROMISED to look out for her, and when she very actively looked for his help he couldn't be found or reached by phone - meaning he wouldn't have been able to notice anything more seriously wrong, either. HeII, at that point I, as little sister, would have been worried about something happening to *him*.

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AKA AKA
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at 19 she should be old enough do this this own BUT her brother promised to look after her so NTA

Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t ever think someone that young can truly take care of themself. I worked in a beach resort, and there were so many heart wrenching stories of young people, who just graduated from either high school or college so 18-22 years old, whose parents let them come to the beach for a week, alone with just their friends and no older person chaperoning (and I don’t mean the 22 year old chaperoning the 18 year olds, I mean an actual adult). Unless they were raised in a rough neighborhood, they have no clue about the absolute shittiness of some people in the world, and how they would take every advantage of someone so vulnerable. Rapes, beatings, and murders happened every summer, all of which could’ve been prevented if the kids were properly chaperoned by someone who can spot trouble before it happens and get them TF out of there. 18-22 year olds, and even some much older than that, simply do not have the experience to recognize, or the self-confidence to take control of , situations that get out of hand, or to even notice everything start to go bad. Especially when everyone, including themselves, are drinking. Someone older, mature, and experienced would’ve predicted it happening, stayed sober, and done everything they could to nip it in the bud. Someone older would also have the moxie to tell unwanted guests to leave, voluntarily or in cuffs—-and would already have the police on the line while doing it. They could also see through the b******t lines used by sleazy types on impressionable young people, and separate the kids from the creeps before anything bad happened. So yeah, a naive and sheltered 19 year old would be very vulnerable to the vultures in a situation like this, and her brother put her in actual danger by not keeping tabs on her whereabouts, and doing everything he could think of to find her when he lost sight of her.

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Tabitha
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was the baby and only girl, with four older brothers. Not one of them would ever think of losing sight of me in a crowded place. Especially a crowded place full of strangers for me, if not for them. They would be panicking themselves trying to find me, if they hadn’t seen me in the last couple minutes, especially if I hadn’t let them know I was going to the ladies room/stepping out for some fresh air/whatever a 19 year old can think of when out on a club (I shudder to think of what, with some 19 year olds). The reason they did that—-voluntarily, I might add—-was because they love me, and know I would do the same if they went missing when out with me, and seeing my friends. Older bro here needs to grow up some more before having kids of his own, if he can’t even look after his 19 year old sister. This whole situation could’ve gone horribly wrong, especially for a naive teenager in a huge city like London. People just don’t seem to THINK anymore.

Nicole Mann
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you don't leave any female of any age alone in a club without telling them. That is how women get raped when they get seperated from their freinds. So yes mom needs to let her grow up but even expierenced partiers don't abandon female friends in a club.

Cerise Hood
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being in a new place with new people, wouldn't it be overwhelming? She wasn't going in unprepared, she thought the two people she knew would at least send her a text. It's not hard to send a "Everything good?" text. They probably would know about the situation sooner and could arrange a ride for her.

Joe Reaves
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have been able to call a cab (or ask the bouncer to), but the comments about not telling her brother she left are lacking reading comprehension. She couldn't find him and once shed left she tried calling both him and his gf and they didn't answer. How was she meant to tell him anything? And while he shouldn't have to babysit a 19 year old he SAID he would look out for her and then didn't. Don't make promises you aren't going to keep. Especially to your family.

Debbie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kind of laughed at the part where they tried calling the brother "typically he didn't answer" well DUH they are in a club with LOUD MUSIC you nitwit, they won't hear their phones. They should however occasionally check their phones for messages or keep an eye out for DD - not every minute but just know where she is or let her know where they are.

Nikki Angulo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I went bars back in university days, we looked out for each other because you never know when someone might try something. She is 19, but that’s still a teenage girl! Brother should have been watching out for her, since he said he would and she went there with them! What if someone had put something in her drink and something terrible had happened? She could have wound up dead at the very worst! I have a younger brother and though he got on my nerves a LOT, no one messes with him and gets away with it on my watch! (Even now and he’s in his 40’s! lol)

Pamacious
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he agreed to look out for her, then he was responsible. That was one of the conditions under which the daughter felt it was safe enough to go. He endangered her by not keeping his word.

varwenea
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH situation. It might not be easy to keep an eye on anybody depending on how crowded it is. The daughter panicked, went out, and can't get back in. At 19, the parents should have at least pre-planned that if she separates, grab an Uber to return to hotel and have the app ready. Everyone is at fault.

H R
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then why are almost every woman on a lookout for the other woman? Dear brother, hefailed.

Joe Bloe
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All that because she feel uncomfortable taking a cab at night...

Regina Holt
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brother said he would look out for her. He didn't do that. He bears responsibility. And daughter couldn't find her brother. Girl went outside in a panic because of what she saw and getting bothered by some unknown guys in there, not knowing that she would not have been able to get back in. Not her fault. As for her looking for brother, I've never been in a club, I've only seen them on TV, but the crazy loud sounds and crazy lights would make me upset also. And to find her brother in all that chaos? How do people even find their companions once they get separated? Going into that situation scares the heck out of me.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People find their group because the group actually answers texts. If my friends don’t answer my messages I’d never able to find them.

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tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an awful mother! A 19 year old woman who has a meltdown because someone is snorting pepsi in front of her, and she can't figure out how to call a cab, all because big brother isn't babysitting her? And this " mother" agreed with the meltdown? She did her daughter a disservice by raising her to be a fragile, sheltered, little cretin of a snowflake. She doesn't stand a chance in the real world at this rate. Give her to her brother to finish raising, he'll do a much better job.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She had a meltdown because her brother didn’t keep his promise and never answered his phone. I go out all the time but if I lose my friends at a party and they don’t answer their phone within 10 minutes (or 2 minutes if people are doing any kind of d***s) I’d be beyond livid. If they abandoned me like that in a strange country where I had to figure out how to call a cab while I was intoxicated and alone on the street in the middle of the night I would never speak to them again.

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P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom raised a helpless female.....Mom needs to come to the realization her daughter is grown and can't take care of herself. Son is kind of pr**k because he said he WOULD watch after his sister, and didn't. The least he could have done is answer his stupid phone.

HappyPanda
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daughter is a very naive adult. How can bro know she left without telling her telling him? It's common for bouncers in exclusive clubs not to let people back in when they exist - everyone wants to get in the top clubs. That's why bro had an invite to get in. Not bro's fault, he's probably dancing, having a good time, can't hear phone. Daughter never told him she was leaving. She doesn't have the common sense to ask the bouncer how to call a cab? That's on mom. Both Mom and DD (Dumb Daughter are ESH

DC
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One sided at best. I've been with a friend, who was in the very same situation, having his sister with him. She went to the bathroom, didn't return, but when returning home, we met her and his mother, both screaming at us, for abandoning her, while we had spent the entire night searching and didn't reach them by phone (mobile was a thing then, but often unreliable, and it was sort of rural). Little sisters can be a PITA already, and that's fine, sort of, but that's just unreasonable. The mother, of course, had no way of knowing any of this and believed her favourite child. Still does. One factor that contributed to no contact in a few years by now.

Gatorraid
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm on the side that the OP shouldn't have let her daughter go because how sheltered do you have to be to NOT know people do d***s in clubs, men and women are sleazy in clubs etc and at the same time the brother might need to be held accountable too. He knew of his sister's fidgetiness and both he and his girlfriend did promise to look out for her but they didn't do that. There is some responsibility to be held for both sides (mother daughter and son gf). I'm the middle child of an autistic older brother and a teen younger brother so ik my responsibility as the oldest brother not by age but mentality so I always keep an eye on both of them making sure one is with someone we know and the other isn't goofing off away from us. (Both of my brothers got lost in two separate but huge malls so it was natural of me to keep an eye on them). There isn't an update yet so I can't give my thoughts 100% yet so I will wait for one or someone can find it and post it in the comments if there is one.

Gatorraid
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoever downvoted me you Sir/Ma'am/IT are an irresponsible adult.

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Laure Miller
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Scared to be in a cab alone?? This child needs to stay home with Mommy and Daddy, then.

Jessie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take it you’ve also lived a very sheltered life. There are tons of stories of people (especially women) getting murdered when taking a cab by themselves.

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