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People Online Are Confessing Things They Found Out About Their Parents That They Weren’t Supposed To Know And These Are 25 Of Their Stories
It’s said that you can’t choose your family and that it’s one of the most important things in a person’s life as its members are always there for you, no matter what. The family bond is hard to break as it’s built on love, honesty, and trust. And often parents are the ones who set a “foundation” by teaching their kids that they should be open with them and trust them absolutely. Because at the end of the day, if you can't trust your close ones, who can you trust? But what if one day you find out something about your family member that changes everything? Reddit user @u/iLuvDILFSSSS decided to ask others online “What is something you know about your parents that you shouldn’t know?” The question that received almost 3.5k answers revealed some really intense secrets that people found out by accident and still can’t admit to their parents that they know about it.
What do you think about some of these secrets? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
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#1
My parents escaped from Iraq during the worst period of the Saddam regime.
As a kid, you don’t know what a war refugee is. I used to think my father worked at the welfare office. I found out years later that my father was going there for PTSD therapy.
Having found his papers, I learned my father was tortured in prison for helping his students escape the country, and that the reason why he’s always limping wasn’t because of something genetic, but because they smashed his knee with a hammer, and locked him in a dark room for days with no medical help, destroying his career as an athlete and professor of physical fitness.
My parents never ever ever talked about the stuff they went through. We grew up thinking we were a perfectly normal family.
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#2
My mother and father had a deal that my father would get a job, so my mom could finish college, and then my mom would get a job, so my dad could finish college.
My father did his part and when it was his time to go back to college, my mom and all her family humiliated him into going back to work.
My brother and I are not supposed to know this, we were too young, but I know.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Damn, I feel really bad for him. Why did she also add to the humiliation, wasn't that the agreement? Are they still married?
#3
My father never went to college. He worked as a mechanic for many, many years to put food on the table for my mother, sister and I.
It wasn't until revently when I was visiting his parents (my grandparents) and we were talking until I realized how much stress he was going through when I was a kid.
As a kid, I always just thought he was just an angry guy who would work all day, be pissed and yell at at us for no reason. I didn't understand the long hours he was putting in or the stress it was putting him through. But especially now as I enter the more serious full time employment and adult life, I'm starting to appreciated him and his hard work, despite him never explicitly telling me.
He's now got a very high position in a very large trucking company without a degree. I'm proud of him.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I know what you mean. My dad worked a day job and a night job. It doesn't really make sense to you until you get older and realize what they were doing. So many mothers and fathers work multiple stressful jobs to make sure they can take care of their family. I'm not condoning he yelling btw...I'm just saying I understand the situation.
#4
My mother. She got pregnant at the age of 18 after three months of dating my dad. At the age of 21, poor af and studying architecture, my father did his best to take care of his "unexpected" new family: he got his degree, built his career as an important architect here and got my mother pregnant two more times... I was the last child. After 25 years of marriage, my mother wanted to get a divorce. She wanted to explore life. The shocking part?
She's always maintained this habit of writing down her stuff, meaning she has tens of journals, and when I was about 21 (already child of divorce) i snooped and found this entry of hers talking about how she lied to my father about contraception when she was 18 and got pregnant on purpose. She also wrote how lucky she was that my father made a lot of money throughout their marriage and how bummed she was that it was taking her so long to get her share of the divorce money.
That information has been living rent-free in my mind for the past 9 years and it changed the way I see mom.i love her to death, but I definitely regret having snooped through her journals and coming across that specific piece of info. I don't know how to explain why it's painful to even think about it, but it just is.
Not my place to judge. I love my parents. My father has no idea as well. It's just so f***** up i don't even know how to finish this post properly.
Sinkvenice 2 years ago
This is just me but I couldn't love my mother to death after finding out she scammed my father and had the audacity to b***h about it taking too long to steal his money in the divorce. It's a pretty big rule of mine to not love to death inherently awful people, regardless of whether or not I'm related to them.
Randolph Croft 2 years ago
Beware of people using this phrase: "i love her to death." In my experience, 6 different people used it, all 6 have toxic romantic relationships. Not everyone who uses it does, but that's a pretty high percentage out of the 23 weddings I've attended over the last 40 years.
BonnyDK 2 years ago
It was a thing when I was in high school for girls to do that. Also become welfare queens. Get paid for being single with kids. I knew several that would get dates with a good looking nice guy and get pregnant on purpose so the good one didn't get away. Mid 70's. To me it was a white trash ploy.
ravn 2 years ago
AITA for thinking..."Well that's something my father's attorney should know."?
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
There a lot of things that are secrets that are parents don't tell us. If they did it would hurt us. My dad being the dad he is would aways tell us what he thought about everything and how he truly felt. I don't talk to him anymore because he had said some bad s**t to me. My mother in law even said some shocking stuff once when we where drinking with her. We where in our late 20s and it was so shocking and hurtful but to her it wasn't.........some stuff we should just keep to ourselves. Not say them. Sometimes not think them if we know what good for ya. But the people that lived before us some them .....lord.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
Everything you said here is valid. I do just want to point out that contraception is the responsibility of men, just as much women. Especially if she's barely an adult. Maybe if you just met this girl and ya'll are having sex, WRAP IT UP unless you want a baby or an STD.
Seri McGee 2 years ago
I am 56. I have come to the understanding that everyone's parents did something awful, just like if we admit it so have we. They made decisions that may have messed up your life. Problem is, we will always be mad about it but if we stay honest with ourselves we can also be understanding of their mistakes. I'm still bitter about some things my mother did to me. But when her spirit came to visit me when I was very lonely and sad, I knew she was exactly who I needed right then.
Elin Calliel 2 years ago
If you don’t want anyone to know all about your stuff, don’t write it down.
Julie Cipale 2 years ago
Or don't keep your journals unsecured. Use a closet safe & keep it locked!
Load More Replies... YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
Sometimes you have to separate, for example, "my mom" from "the b***h married to my dad" even if they share a body.
Resting Witch Face (they/them) 2 years ago (edited)
then you shouldnt have f*****g snooped, should you of, karen. /j /nm
Tammy Wait 2 years ago
It is disgusting how a parent will use children like pawns in a money game. My daughter did this with my grandson. I had to give her money just to see him.
Julie Cipale 2 years ago (edited)
Sorry for what you discovered. You don't owe your mother any kind of loyalty. I wouldn't say anything to her. You may want to talk to a counselor to help with coping with this info. I found some secrets that my step-dad had ( a previous relationship before his 2nd wife (my mom was his 3rd & abusive a.f. to him for over 30 years!). He had 2 kids (not 1) with his 1st wife (she took off while pregnant with 2nd child), & 2 kids with the other woman (both were adopted by a family; he never saw them again, but started exchanging letters with the younger). The stepsiblings who lived with us for 7 years ran away because of my mother's mental & emotional pain abuse. My step-dad should have chosen his kids, who are younger than me. He chose my mother & me (my sibs are older & on their own). I'm more angry with my mother.'cuz she forced him to choose & he couldn't even talk to them on the phone without her timing the call or listening inn on the other line.
Rival Hydra 2 years ago (edited)
Are you planning to tell your father? He should know about that.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
At least you now know who your mom truly was and may still be. Pay attention and take care of yourself around her. If she ever asks why, tell her what you read in her journals.
Bisces 2 years ago
SO WHAT?! She tricked someone into having kids!! KIDS!! She had 3 kids just for money dude! If she didn't w**g to be an underpaid single mom, then she shouldn't have gotten pregnant on purpose.
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#5
That we stopped going to church when we were around 10 because my parents divorced. They kicked us out because it wasn't Christian. This was after three generations of attending every service, bible camp, and function.
My mom tried taking us to a few different churches but they were not friendly to single mothers.
We were kids and just didn't realize we hadn't been attending and had started getting into sports and activities instead.
We were cut off from a lot of family and lifelong friends. My mother was superhero for going from a stay at home mom with three kids and a supportive community and family to a single working mom doing all she could.
We also figured out why our "new" clothes always came home in garbage bags. Her coworkers would let her pick through the clothing they were getting rid of or donating if she'd drop them off for them.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Being judgmental isn't Christian either, but those church folks had no problem with their own "sin."
#6
My parents divorced when I was 3. My mother had custody of my sister and I. My mother loved to verbally bash him to us. She would tell us he never once paid child support.
Life was hard for a long time.
I was 15 and cleaning out a closet and found every child support cheque uncashed. She hated him so much she refused to take his money. I cried and put them back. All I could think about was being about 5-6 and being so hungry.
I have never asked either of them about it.
#7
When I was a teenager I found this like daily affirmation type thing my mom had written talking about how she knew her two miscarriages prior to me were in heaven . After she passed I found an old journal and one of the entries said how every day she says a prayer when she woke up still pregnant . I can't even imagine.
#8
As a teenager I moved in with my mom after not living with her for most of my life and fighting to be a part of hers. One night I heard her and my step dad talking about how the only reason they let me live there was for the tax credits and child support.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Oh wow, that's really sad. I hope you were able to find a way out of it.
#9
My mom didn't marry my dad because she was in love with him, she chose him when the man she was in love with told her he couldn't marry a woman who already had another man's child and my dad had no problem with stepkids. She did eventually fall in love with him for what it's worth.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Your dad is the real MVP. I hope he turned out to be a good father also.
#10
Few month ago I unexpectedly got to know that my father anonymously donated significant amount of money to charity. Mostly as a direct help to children who needed expensive meds.
I pretty sure nobody knows about this. None of our family, none of his friends, none of the families he helped. Besides him it is just the girl who volunteers for charity and helped him to find families in need.
And now me cause i hit it off and hooked up with her :)
Ines Olabarria-Smith 2 years ago
“do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing”.
#11
My biological father told me that my mother was in a mental hospital when she was around 7-8 months pregnant with me.
I’m 22 now, spent 4 times in mental hospitals since I was 13/my 14th birthday.
Last year I found out that I’m autistic and all my problems and trauma make sense now
I just wish my mum would realise she’s autistic too one day (already talked to her) and it’s even more sad how people don’t know anything about autism which causes severe damage and overall miscommunication when not noticed and taken seriously as early as possible…
#12
As a kid I saw an old family tree that showed my mom had 3 babies (all different dads) whom she gave up for adoption before meeting my dad. I didn’t say s**t and she didn’t admit it to me until about 10 years afterwards.
Desert Panda 2 years ago
My bio grandmother did something similar.... I have relatives I'll never meet, and discover new ones every year 😕
#13
My mom thought that I wasn't near by and said how she "didn't intend to have me" what makes it worse is the fact that I was 11 and having a hard time with getting bullied at the time
#14
My dad had a live in girlfriend for 18 months before he divorced my mom. He was military and went on what he called an isolated tour overseas, where family wasn’t allowed. When he got back to the states I met some folks who lived in the same apartment building as him in Turkey. They told me they really liked my mom and it was a shame I couldn’t go with them. Thing is, I was in the states with my mom. Met the girlfriend a few months later, she was the same age as my older sister. Needless to say, we didn’t get along.
#15
my dad was part of a cartel and was investigated by the DEA
#16
As a young kid I overheard my parents screaming in another room about what age I was when my dad left us. Mom said 3 months. Dad said 3 years.
I didn’t know he left at all.
At least he came back?
Cecily Holland 2 years ago
This is why parents need to be more careful about what they say in earshot
#17
My mother once gasslit me because I saw her smoking. She convinced me i was wrong and made everyone think I was a liar. I was 5. I found it recently I wasn't wrong, I did see her smoking. She was ashamed so hid it from everyone.
#18
My dad cheated on my step-mom with my mom after my parents divorced.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Okay, I had to read that twice. I guess he wasn't over your mom.
#19
Well, for the first 16 years of my life I thought that my father had died in an accident. Turns out he just didn't care about me and my mom was trying to make 4yr old me feel better because she didn't want me to think it was my fault.
It really f****d with me when I found out at 16 that my biological father was still out there somewhere.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I can probably understand why she did but I could also understand why she should have probably said something different and tell you the truth at some point.
#20
I am the executor of their will if they both die in an accident.
Problem is, I'm the youngest of 5.
October of 2021, my wife and I had to drive to a bar to pick them up, the waitress called me from my mom's phone and told me to pick them up or they are calling the cops. We got there, my dad was trying to fight everybody, my mom was just being a happy drunk and off we went back to their place. On the way home they told me, well they were drunk talking about it.
Edit: it’s bad because all my siblings are trashy and will lose their f*****g minds when they find out
Minath 2 years ago
My parents told me they had something really serious to talk to me about and that I probably won't be happy with it. I was thinking all sorts and my anxiety was through the roof, by the time we sat down I was one step away from a full-blown panic attack. They told me that my sister was named as their executor, I was so happy, not to mention relieved, and grinning like an idiot. Now I know that when the difficult time comes, I can get on with grieving while my sister deals with all the red tape and official c**p.
#21
When my dad was in the Navy, he spent a short time in Australia. Long enough to find a local girl to “enjoy her company” a few times. After he shipped out he got a letter from her saying she was pregnant but not to worry because she was getting married to a local lad who would take care of her and the baby.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
You've got an Australian step-sibling who I assume knows nothing of their biological father. Like I'd want to find my sibling but I also wouldn't want to mess up any relationships either.
#22
My dad was a substance dealer until he joined the army at 18. He ended up becoming military police.
#23
That my dad's cheating on my mom and now they're getting a divorce. I shouldn't have known about my dad cheating on my mom, but he yells too loud during their arguments.
#24
That they definitely should have married other people
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
That's pretty sad. I always hope I never end up in a situation where I'm married to someone and we don't genuinely like each other.
#25
She is still talking to her boyfriend that she is "not seeing any more". And I mean morning texts, night text, (likely nsfw) pictures.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I guess she meant literally seeing him in person. Anyways, definitely still involved.
What do you think ?
EpicWolfandSparrow 2 years ago
This one isn't so much of a secret, my mom always likes to call me a fat b***h (for the record I hardly ever eat) all the time. The secret is that she tells my dad about it all the time, she tells him I'm so mean to her, I hate her, she's called me evil. She'll tell my dad I'm exact detail all the hurtful things she's told me...except she tells him I said them to her. I can hear it all. It got to a point where she took my phone and driver's permit, and my dad forced me to sit down and have a talk. He doesn't believe me that she makes stuff up to him. I'm 16, I don't want to deal with this :( So that's my life situation right now :)
ChickyChicky 2 years ago
That's really horrible. Hang in there. I know it seems like an eternity, but you're going to be able to fly free of these people in just a couple of years. Save up money so you can live away from them.
Load More Replies...
Lisa H 2 years ago
My mom (and most of my family) has no idea how much of a rotten POS her brother was. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I want to dump his ashes in my cat's litter box and just let him spend eternity coated in cat s**t and p**s in a landfill somewhere.
Alecto76 2 years ago (edited)
My last few years have been difficult - several miscarriages, which I later found out were likely due to a birth defect my parents were aware of. Wish someone had told me. My parents divorced a long time ago, which is great because they were miserable. A couple years ago, my dad told me it was because my mom was having an affair with one of my teachers. All I could think was what bad taste she had. A couple weeks ago she told me it was because he no longer wanted children to hold back his social life, which hurt, but also rang true. However, I have recently discovered two half sisters (from my mom) which I was not supposed to know about. One has contacted me and I am so happy to get to know her. Its been a mixed bag. I'm in my mid-40s for perspective.
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
For all those reading life can get better if you leave pass in the ditch. I can says this as a child who grew up in home that worse than anything imaginable. It took a very old man saying : you can can not change the pass, but you can change the future. Funny how living on streets teaches you some things can change if willing to throw away the bad stuff.
HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 2 years ago
Mine's a bit less dark, but I was looking for the remote once and on a whim pulled at the door of what I had always assumed was a broken cabinet because it didn't open. Turns out that was where my parents kept their sex toys, but they had forgotten to lock it. Haunts me to this day.
Jasam Nitko 2 years ago
I'm happy the "darkest secret" about my parents is that they were swingers back in the day. Finding it out did explain a lot.
Cracked Justin 2 years ago
My mom gaslights me constantly when I try to talk to her about her and my step-dad’s drug addiction and smoking problem. I would keep my mouth shut if it didn’t affect me or my little brothers, but it does. It’s taking a huge toll on my mom’s mental health and I can tell, and as for my step-dad, he has serious anger issues. He used to beat my mom, he hates me ( I was born before my mom remarried and I was an accident), and he doesn’t like my little brother too much either as he never wants to take care of them and always goes off with his friends when my mom asks him to take care of us. So all of this is kinda just a huge warning to everyone, drugs are a powerful addiction and can ruin lives.
EpicWolfandSparrow 2 years ago
This one isn't so much of a secret, my mom always likes to call me a fat b***h (for the record I hardly ever eat) all the time. The secret is that she tells my dad about it all the time, she tells him I'm so mean to her, I hate her, she's called me evil. She'll tell my dad I'm exact detail all the hurtful things she's told me...except she tells him I said them to her. I can hear it all. It got to a point where she took my phone and driver's permit, and my dad forced me to sit down and have a talk. He doesn't believe me that she makes stuff up to him. I'm 16, I don't want to deal with this :( So that's my life situation right now :)
ChickyChicky 2 years ago
That's really horrible. Hang in there. I know it seems like an eternity, but you're going to be able to fly free of these people in just a couple of years. Save up money so you can live away from them.
Load More Replies... Lisa H 2 years ago
My mom (and most of my family) has no idea how much of a rotten POS her brother was. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I want to dump his ashes in my cat's litter box and just let him spend eternity coated in cat s**t and p**s in a landfill somewhere.
Alecto76 2 years ago (edited)
My last few years have been difficult - several miscarriages, which I later found out were likely due to a birth defect my parents were aware of. Wish someone had told me. My parents divorced a long time ago, which is great because they were miserable. A couple years ago, my dad told me it was because my mom was having an affair with one of my teachers. All I could think was what bad taste she had. A couple weeks ago she told me it was because he no longer wanted children to hold back his social life, which hurt, but also rang true. However, I have recently discovered two half sisters (from my mom) which I was not supposed to know about. One has contacted me and I am so happy to get to know her. Its been a mixed bag. I'm in my mid-40s for perspective.
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
For all those reading life can get better if you leave pass in the ditch. I can says this as a child who grew up in home that worse than anything imaginable. It took a very old man saying : you can can not change the pass, but you can change the future. Funny how living on streets teaches you some things can change if willing to throw away the bad stuff.
HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 2 years ago
Mine's a bit less dark, but I was looking for the remote once and on a whim pulled at the door of what I had always assumed was a broken cabinet because it didn't open. Turns out that was where my parents kept their sex toys, but they had forgotten to lock it. Haunts me to this day.
Jasam Nitko 2 years ago
I'm happy the "darkest secret" about my parents is that they were swingers back in the day. Finding it out did explain a lot.
Cracked Justin 2 years ago
My mom gaslights me constantly when I try to talk to her about her and my step-dad’s drug addiction and smoking problem. I would keep my mouth shut if it didn’t affect me or my little brothers, but it does. It’s taking a huge toll on my mom’s mental health and I can tell, and as for my step-dad, he has serious anger issues. He used to beat my mom, he hates me ( I was born before my mom remarried and I was an accident), and he doesn’t like my little brother too much either as he never wants to take care of them and always goes off with his friends when my mom asks him to take care of us. So all of this is kinda just a huge warning to everyone, drugs are a powerful addiction and can ruin lives.
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