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In some areas, the world can change very fast but in others, it can lag behind. It sounds cliché, I know, but it's true.

Whether we're talking about the Western World or any other place, each society has its own problems and shortcomings. Discussing these delicate subjects isn't easy, either. Emotions can heat up such arguments very fast.

But it looks like Twitter user @ewgraiam found a way to get people together for a civilized chat: they asked nicely and offered a microphone. Turns out, it was all they needed to talk in peace about all the cultural things that could be changed to make the world a better place.

According to one study, published in Nature Human Behaviour, people tend to copy other people's choices, even when they know that those people did not make their choices freely, and when the decision does not reflect their own actual preferences. That's how powerful social norms can be.

Imagine you have witnessed a man rob a bank but then he gives the stolen money to an orphanage. Do you call the police or leave the robber be, so the orphanage can keep the money?

Researchers posed this moral dilemma to 150 participants recruited online in their first experiment. But before people made their choice, the researchers also presented information about how similar participants in a previous experiment had imagined acting during this scenario.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tipping is Ok as long as it represents your appreciation for how will the server did. It should not be your mandatory contribution to the income of a worker because their boss can't be arsed to pay them a decent wage.

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Mike Loux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*insert Archer picture here* "Do you want toxic masculinity? Because this is how you get toxic masculinity"

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"Half of our participants were told that most other people had imagined reporting the robber. The remaining half were told that most other people had imagined not calling the police," Campbell Pryor and Piers Howe, the co-authors of the study, said.

"Crucially, however, we made it clear to our participants that these norms did not reflect people's preferences. Instead, the norm was said to have occurred due to some faulty code in the experiment that randomly allocated the previous participants to imagining reporting or not reporting the robber."

However, the participants followed the social norms of the previous people, even though they knew they were entirely arbitrary and did not reflect anyone's actual choices.

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IlovemydogShilo
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember as a child my mother whipping me until I was covered in big red welts all over my arms and legs because she was told by a neighbour that I was in a house that was being built with some other kids and we made a big mess. I screamed at that it wasn't me and that I was at another friend's house all afternoon but she wouldn't listen. After she had finished with me I ran out to my friends house and asked her mother to tell my mother that I was with them. She did. She explained that the girl the neighbour saw was the back of another girl who had the same hair as me long and brown and was around the same age. All my mother said was "oh, well that's alright then". She never apologised or said anything else. I was in real pain for days afterwards. But she really didn't care. day

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"A series of subsequent experiments, involving 631 new participants recruited online, showed that this result was robust. It held over different participants and different moral dilemmas. It was not caused by our participants not understanding that the norm was entirely arbitrary," the researchers explained.

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Whether or not this is a good thing largely depends on the situation. For instance, social norms are being used to encourage pro-social behavior and have been successfully used to promote healthy eating, increase attendance at doctor appointments, reduce tax evasion, increase towel reuse at hotels, decrease long-term energy use, and increase organ donor registrations.

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Ryan-James O'Driscoll
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boys will be boys is meant to be a light-hearted acceptance of boys immediately getting mud all over their new trousers, and stuff like that. Anyone who uses it to excuse boys inappropriate behaviour is an idiot.

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Mike Loux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man to woman: "You should smile more!" Woman to man: "And you should leave me alone, but here we are"

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Assistant to DJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The customer is rarely right and is usually an idiot. I told all my staff the moment I became manager "you are not paid to take abuse, refer them to me and i'll kick them out, i'm a salaried manager and I'M paid to deal with that nonsense, not you".

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KJ
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a teacher that wouldn't give breaks many years ago, I begged to be excused but was refused, accidentally threw up at her desk when I couldn't hold it in anymore, got detention for that.

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Mike Loux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Childless guy here - I also used to get people trying to shame me into having kids. "The line dies with me." I don't want kids. Deal with it.

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's Gods will for kids to suffer and die of starvation, cancer etc then God is a f*****g Sadist. I HATE it when people say s**t like that, heard it many times after an ectopic pregnancy.

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Patti Vance
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

studied psychology & behavioral science in college so learned many 'disciplines' in those fields. while i am not a fan of freud, one thing he did write that i totally agree with is this: "the greatest injustice we do to our children is not to teach them the power of sex". just because a parent(s) are uncomfortable talking about sex doesn't mean that their children don't need to know about it at a fairly early age. this would not only protect them but also make them understand that they need to respect their body as well as others and to prepare them to be responsible when it comes to sex. stop teaching people to be ashamed of the what is a biological act and calling it something dirty.

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually like the idea of school uniforms. All schools in Australia have their own uniforms and we almost never hear about the incidences mentioned above. We mainly hear about private schools and the fact many of them require girls to wear skirts, NO pants. That should definitely change.

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Jro308
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always taught my children to respect their elders, BUT I have also taught my children that just because they are an elder doesn't make them right. You can disagree with them but be respectful in your manner and words and if they get upset, scream at you or say derogatory things you are well within your rights to walk away.

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Carol Emory
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband's former boss would not hire anyone with facial tattoos or piercings (hair he didn't care about so much.) His reasoning was that some of his senior citizen customers might feel uncomfortable around them. I could see that...but at the same time...just because they got those done doesn't make them bad people or workers. I can understand it being unnerving.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Netherlands: "Working 38 hours per week is too stressful and leaves us with almost no free time. We're switching to 30 hours per week."

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Carol Emory
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother once chewed out my oldest brother for not giving our Grandmother a hug and kiss. She was dying from a rare blood cancer and was down to 90 lbs. It's scary for a 9 year old to see that and no one ever sat down with him to explain what was going on with her. He reluctantly gave her a hug and kiss and ran out of the room. It made my Grandmother cry. I don't think he ever got over the guilt of how she cried. I told him several times that it was not his fault.

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Carol Emory
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually...most of the commercials I see have people sacked out and sleeping.

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Troux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worse yet, someone seeing their error and changing their mind as a sign of being weak or fickle.

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Viviane
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was super impressed by my husband's aunt when her teenage son discussed politics with her. She disagreed with him, but ever so respectfully. She calmly and firmly gave her rebuttals. My parents would have pretty much told me to shut up and that I don't know what I'm talking about.

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Troux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think we generally need to stop associating people's private lives with their professional ones. People shouldn't have to resign or be fired because they had an affair - let them sort their private matters out in their own time keep doing what they are good at.

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Carol Emory
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And who decided that hugging another man is considered cheating on your boyfriend. I hug my friends because I care about them...not because I want to sleep with them.

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Jj321
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband was forced to eat foods he didn't like, I wasn't. One of us is an extremely picky eater and it isn't me. Our kids are never forced to eat stuff they don't like.

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NsG
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a flip side to this, where you end up with 27 year olds still living at home with mommy doing their laundry, not because rent is too expensive, but because their parents have enabled them to feel like they are their little angel forever. At 18 you should be able to *want* to move out without feeling like you *need* to move out, and know you are able to function in society while knowing you have support for the things you don't know yet.

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Jro308
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

maybe they are old and don't know what they are talking about but you can still be respectful in your manner and words and you have every right to walk away as well. I just get angry when I see someone screaming in the face of an elderly person. Also they grew up in a different time, many say things that they don't understand could be considered rude or racist. I had a conversation with a much older man and he called a certain Asian group a term I considered derogatory. I stopped him and said that word isn't acceptable anymore and you should not use that, please use this instead. He stopped and said well that's what we called them and I said I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate being called that and if you want to continue this conversation you can't use that word again. He kept talking and then stopped and said what word am I supposed to use again? He tried! If he had said the inappropriate word again I would've just walked away.

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UpupaEpops
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In this vein, can people please stop labelling socially awkward people as being on the spectrum? I have difficulty looking at people, but I'm just extremely awkward due to the magnificent parenting style of my 'rents.

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Pearl
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's a scam. The wedding industry is a scam.

Zoe's Mom
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So are funerals. Really, does Aunt Mae need a $10,000.00 casket to show her you loved her!? She's dead for goodness sake. I'm donating to science or to to the schools so our future doctors can practice. I'm gone; no need for a party while I'm dead. Give me one NOW!

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the end you voluntarily participate in the scam. Can't blame others for that. If you want to have an informal wedding ceremony at 9 AM and be on a plane to the Maldives by 11 AM, then that's entirely up to you. It also saves you the drama of MIL showing up in a wedding dress.

Scagsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people like to have a special day to show their love and commitment to each other in front of their nearest and dearest. Some people don't. Neither option is wrong and both are perfectly valid.

Troux
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A public declaration, celebration and officiating of love has no need to cost as much as they do. The jewelry, attire, venues and events have made the whole industry way over the top.

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Kat Zwingle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference between marriage and "a wedding". The wedding industry and many wedding traditions are just for making money and produce the "bridezilla." Marriage can give you stability and a long term opportunity to become better people.

Robert T
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't. To get married, the only thing you need to pay for is the marriage licence. Equally well you don't have to get married, and there are less and less reasons to do so. It can still make things much easier with inheritance and widow(er)s pensions if you are committing to financially supporting someone or having a family with them, as the default is usually for things to go to the spouse, and you may need to explicitly set things up to go to a partner.

Osgood_7
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that the "marriage as the ultimate form of commitment" should go, but we should remember that there are specific legal and financial benefits you get in a marriage for which there is no available substitute for people who prefer to remain single or who have multiple partners

Ka Se
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I approve marriage for legal causes. In some countries the partner will left with nothing if the other one dies unexpected. In my country, you also don't get information from the hospital if you are not a member of the close family.

Jon Steensen
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A wedding does not have to be an expensive thing. In its most basic form, it is just a couple signing a contract, obligating them to take care of each other financially, so the farther can get the custoty of his children right away if the mother should die while giving birth and some other important stuff. Flowers, Silk dress, dinner, cake, alcohol, band and even guests etc. are all just options and not a mandatory element you have to pay for. If you are fine with knowing how much your partner loves you just telling him/her how much you care for them on a beach at sunset can be just fine.

Random Anon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The whole industry is playing with people's insecurities. When I put you in my will, do you really need that lavish wedding and shiny rock? Or would you rather get a boost in our retirement fund?

royce duval
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ikr ..just get married , leave all the commercial stuff behind . on the other hand , if u wanna get a big fancy wedding then i see no problem either .

Franc Esca
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was designed to protect people's assets and romanticized in the 20th century

Phil Vaive
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marriage used to be a transaction between two families. The idea of romantic love being involved only really came about in the 1800's. Now, just like everything in our society, marriage has become commercialized to the point of being obscene. Not just the weddings, but the anniversary presents and trips, and the valentines s**t, even social media. It's ridiculous.

elmarie smit
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, also I think that it means more when someone is with you without a piece of paper "obliging" them to do so

Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I don't wear rings. We never exchanged them. I've gotten used to it.

Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't wear one, either. The first one fell apart (braided parts), the second fell off my finger and down the drain. For a while, I had to repeat to my husband: "No, I'm not getting another one" and "But it'll be more fun when we register at a hotel! People will see the ring on your finger and they'll think I'm your mistress." ;)

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Gonzalo Terán
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don´t need to buy fancy rings or a big party to get married. Is up to everyone to decide, not a social custom. It could be the most special day of your life as a couple just to sign some papers at the correspondent office, and get the marriage documents. I know I´ll be.

El muerto
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

matrimony is bullshit, in some ways. a relationship demands the same effort whether you are married or not, a ring does not solve relationships problems, not getting kids either...selling marriage like the goal of any relationship is just dumb...you can live years together and show as much love without a ring in-between...and the f**k up idea of a wedding day have to be some special way, is ridiculous.

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this 100%. Mental health is important to everyone, not just adults.

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anarkzie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get the point she's making but from a practical point of view we have different body shapes so there will always, to a degree, need to be men and women's clothing.

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree, sometimes because I said so is the only necessary answer. Especially if the answer isn't age appropriate or too complicated for their understanding. I will answer why, if and when I can, but it's not always the case.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The bigger person" is made up by the backstabbers, manipulators and bullies to avoid having to face the consequences of their actions.

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People that beat children should be prohibited to ever get near one again.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This..in my house growing up. We never went to our parents with big problems because we were more worried that we would get yelled at and punished rather than have someone help us. It caused all sorts of problems and I vowed never to do that with my son.

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Scagsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So someone asks for directions and you're like 'It is my right to not have to talk to you. You're affecting me emotionally and making me do something against my will'. Come on people, we're not that fragile are we?

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Foxxy (The Original)
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again personal choice. I love straightening my hair for special occasions. I don't do it any other time coz I can't be f****d. But I always give myself extra time for a night out.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it should be personal choice. If a teacher wants to be referred to by their last name, then that's okay. If they choose to be called by their first name then that too is okay. Shouldn't be a blanket rule in my opinion.

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Scagsy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Forgiving people is good for your mental health. You are not doing it for them, you are doing it so that you can let it go and focus on more positive things. You don't have to suddenly like that person, you can avoid and dislike them all you want, but harbouring a grudge is a fast track to mental illness later in life. I know because I've been there and it isn't pretty.

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