Family Livid Daughter Didn’t Inform Them That There Would Be No Alcohol At Her House
You know, in one TV series many years ago, so many that I don’t remember exactly which one… I heard an absolutely brilliant formulation that defined family relationships. “Relatives are people from whom you sometimes endure an attitude for which you would have sent other people to hell for the rest of eternity.”
Indeed, sometimes people are quite sincerely convinced that a similar set of chromosomes gives them every reason to be absolutely entitled towards others. Moreover, they are just as sincerely offended when they are put in their place or simply have the inadmissibility of their behavior pointed out to them. Would you like another example of such a story? Voila – this tale from the user u/Imadeabrunch on the AITA Reddit community.
The author of the post is a 22 Y.O. girl who moved out and decided to invite her relatives to her housewarming
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The author lives about an hour’s drive from her relatives now, so everybody asked to have a brunch instead of a dinner
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
The hostess did her best to serve a great table, but there was no booze at all since she’s teetotal for medical reasons
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
Much to the author’s surprise, she got immediately roasted by her relatives for not serving them alcohol!
Image credits: Michael LaRosa (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Imadeabrunch
The author’s brother even told her he wouldn’t have come at all knowing there would be no booze there, and called his sister a ‘witch’ for not communicating this
Okay, fasten your seat belts, we are transported to the Netherlands, where our heroine lives, a 22 Y.O. girl who recently moved out to her own house and decided to invite her relatives over for a housewarming. Great idea, isn’t it? But from about this moment, a sort of parade of red flags begins from almost all the relatives of the author of the post.
To begin with, the Original Poster’s (OP) new home is about an hour away from the place where the rest of the family lives, so the idea of organizing a housewarming dinner was rejected right away – after all, the relatives did not want to drive home at late hours. Okay, no problem – the OP then invited everyone to a housewarming brunch and all seven expected guests agreed.
The hostess did her best – all kinds of drinks, snacks, sweets, and fruits were waiting for the guests… in general, the table was full of treats. There was only one thing missing – booze. According to the author of the post, she has not touched alcohol for many years, mainly for medical reasons, because she shouldn’t mix it with her medications. The relatives, of course, knew this very well, so the OP did not expect they’d be so dramatic over this.
At first, the OP’s brother, half in jest, half in earnest, stated that if he had known that there would be no alcohol at the party, he would not have come at all. Then the girl’s mom said that it was still worth warning – then those who wanted to could have brought a drink with them. No, the author’s relatives are not heavy drinkers, so she was surprised by such a reaction. Moreover, she understood that the guests still had to drive back home – and they had to do this sober. Well, the last straw was the brother’s statement that she acted like a… well, like a witch by not communicating that.
The most interesting thing is that only two of the seven invited guests brought any gifts to her housewarming at all, and the brother was not one of those two. And yet, when the author turned to her friends, telling this story, some folks said that she behaved rudely here. As the original poster admits, though, most of her friends still took her side in this rather ugly conflict.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, I’m not entirely aware of Dutch traditions regarding parties and guests, but it seems to me that the relatives of this girl did not do very well here anyway,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. “After all, they knew her medical history and could assume that she didn’t serve alcohol. In any case, I think one of the guests could actually go and buy what they wanted at a nearby store or somewhere else.”
“As for the accusations from relatives that if they had known about the absence of booze in advance, they wouldn’t have come at all, then for all the joking tone, the statement looks offensive and inappropriate. It is all the more surprising that not only did the brother and mother not apologize later for their words, but they expected an apology from the hostess, who, judging by her own words, did her best to arrange a nice party. And you know what? I am in many ways happy for this girl that she will now live her life in her own house,” Irina summarizes.
The commenters were also quite surprised (and judging by the words of some of them, “surprised” is too mild a word) at such behavior on the part of the OP’s relatives, believing their actions and words to be completely entitled. “Your family is ungrateful as hell. You had one hell of a spread. I would have loved to come, with or without alcohol,” one of the people wrote in the comments to the original post.
Moreover, some folks in the comments were representing England, where drinking, according to them, is part of their culture… well, even in England, the host would not have faced such a wave of criticism from their own family members for the lack of free booze at the party. Especially in their own house. Moreover, that early in the day. “It honestly sounds like your brother may have a drinking problem,” one commenter ponders. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this? Was the original poster reasonable in not serving alcohol, or were her relatives just damn entitled?
However, most people in the comments sided with the author, claiming her relatives’ behavior was ugly and rude
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It took her that long to realize her family is comprised of selfish alcoholics?
A guest graciously accepts what is offered. You can apologetically explain you're unable to enjoy things not to your taste,, but you don't ask for anything, except maybe salt and pepper AFTER tasting the dish, or water. Anything else is rude, boorish, I'll mannered, and inconsiderate of the hosts. And no, I'm not Miss Manners.
Wow from a housewarming brunch you made for them to mom n bro being little buttholes over having drinks. I'd say next time you invite them just buy non alcoholic mixers an pretend it's boozy. Watch them fake being drunk would be hysterical.
That often works I have seen it happen, and it is way more fun than actually giving them alcohol. I am not sure it will work with someone who is an alchoholic though.
Load More Replies...I don't drink alcohol nor do I keep it in my house. Everyone else in my family drinks and they know that I don't. (Nobody cares either!) If my brother dared to call me a b***h in my own home when he had contributed nothing to the meal, he would have been thrown out on his a$$ immediately. Thankfully he's not a complete a$$hole (just a minor one, LOL) so he wouldn't behave like that. Sounds like this person's brother has a drinking problem or is just a massive jerk. Either way he needs to check his attitude.
I belong to an organization whose building has not one, but TWO bars (one for members only). In the five years I have been a member, I have yet to order alcoholic beverages. No doubt there are other members who are of the same mindset. If we can feel comfortable at a place that serves alcohol, what's the big deal with going somewhere that DOESN'T serve it, even if you drink? And acting like you are owed being served booze? That behavior is SO high-school, it's embarrassing.
Load More Replies...NTA but you do have issues with alcoholism in your family. How do I know this? I haven't served or drunk alcohol in over 30 yrs. Not that I have an issue but close family does and I don't allow it in my home. You offered plenty of hydrating options and for someone to get upset? Simply because there was no alcohol and you listed excellent reasons. . . Sorry dear but some family members, especially brother, has a drinking problem. Anyone who cannot go an hour or two, especially driving without an alcoholic drink? Pray for everyone on the road. Please consider making it your thing. Trust me, you don't want the lives of innocent people killed in a drunk driving accident after a house party where you were pressured to serve alcohol on your conscience for the rest of your life. Don't let them make you question your wisdom. You are very wise at a young age.
I think the brother just admitted his drinking problem. It's brunch. Sounds like there was a lot of delicious food and beverages anyone should be excited to dig into. And it's free. Who could pass that up?
So a Brunch would usually be what 2-3 hours when at a home and in this instance at your daughter's/ Sisters new place maybe a bit longer? They couldn't hold out on drinking booze for a couple hours ??? That this turned into a scene because the brother is having a temper tantrum? Dear sweet Jesus tell them to get over it 😂 your brother needs to grow up and chill and your mother needs to stop enabling his tantrums. If you seriously cannot show up .. enjoy the brunch & fam and see the new place without downing booze than ya got some issues ya need to fix
It took her that long to realize her family is comprised of selfish alcoholics?
A guest graciously accepts what is offered. You can apologetically explain you're unable to enjoy things not to your taste,, but you don't ask for anything, except maybe salt and pepper AFTER tasting the dish, or water. Anything else is rude, boorish, I'll mannered, and inconsiderate of the hosts. And no, I'm not Miss Manners.
Wow from a housewarming brunch you made for them to mom n bro being little buttholes over having drinks. I'd say next time you invite them just buy non alcoholic mixers an pretend it's boozy. Watch them fake being drunk would be hysterical.
That often works I have seen it happen, and it is way more fun than actually giving them alcohol. I am not sure it will work with someone who is an alchoholic though.
Load More Replies...I don't drink alcohol nor do I keep it in my house. Everyone else in my family drinks and they know that I don't. (Nobody cares either!) If my brother dared to call me a b***h in my own home when he had contributed nothing to the meal, he would have been thrown out on his a$$ immediately. Thankfully he's not a complete a$$hole (just a minor one, LOL) so he wouldn't behave like that. Sounds like this person's brother has a drinking problem or is just a massive jerk. Either way he needs to check his attitude.
I belong to an organization whose building has not one, but TWO bars (one for members only). In the five years I have been a member, I have yet to order alcoholic beverages. No doubt there are other members who are of the same mindset. If we can feel comfortable at a place that serves alcohol, what's the big deal with going somewhere that DOESN'T serve it, even if you drink? And acting like you are owed being served booze? That behavior is SO high-school, it's embarrassing.
Load More Replies...NTA but you do have issues with alcoholism in your family. How do I know this? I haven't served or drunk alcohol in over 30 yrs. Not that I have an issue but close family does and I don't allow it in my home. You offered plenty of hydrating options and for someone to get upset? Simply because there was no alcohol and you listed excellent reasons. . . Sorry dear but some family members, especially brother, has a drinking problem. Anyone who cannot go an hour or two, especially driving without an alcoholic drink? Pray for everyone on the road. Please consider making it your thing. Trust me, you don't want the lives of innocent people killed in a drunk driving accident after a house party where you were pressured to serve alcohol on your conscience for the rest of your life. Don't let them make you question your wisdom. You are very wise at a young age.
I think the brother just admitted his drinking problem. It's brunch. Sounds like there was a lot of delicious food and beverages anyone should be excited to dig into. And it's free. Who could pass that up?
So a Brunch would usually be what 2-3 hours when at a home and in this instance at your daughter's/ Sisters new place maybe a bit longer? They couldn't hold out on drinking booze for a couple hours ??? That this turned into a scene because the brother is having a temper tantrum? Dear sweet Jesus tell them to get over it 😂 your brother needs to grow up and chill and your mother needs to stop enabling his tantrums. If you seriously cannot show up .. enjoy the brunch & fam and see the new place without downing booze than ya got some issues ya need to fix























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