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85 Of The Spookiest Skeleton Puns

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Hermann Oppenheim, a leading neurologist in the nineteenth century in Germany, had many accolades to his name. He was the author of a textbook on neurological diseases, considered one of the best textbooks of all time. He also published significant works on topics ranging from alcoholism to syphilis and many others. By reading this far, you might wonder what Hermann has to do with skeleton puns but bear with me. Not only was Oppenheim famous for his treatises on traumatic neuroses, but he had also reviewed the definition of Witzelsucht. Saving you from any further confusion, Witzelsucht (joke addiction in German) is a set of pure and rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to unwillingly tell puns, lame jokes, or pointless stories at the most inappropriate times. And while I definitely do not have Witzelsucht, I am an absolute sucker for puns, especially the ones I mutter at the most awkward times (...waaaait a moment...). Anywho, for the love of puns, Bored Panda is dedicating this extensive list to any and all wordplay that's oh-so-appropriate for the Halloween season. And without any more teasing, here it goes - a bone-rattling mash of skeleton puns!

To make it even more fun and educational, we've talked to David McInnis, an Associate Professor of Shakespeare and Early Modern Drama working at The University of Melbourne, Australia. As you might've guessed, his primary interest is Shakespeare, which basically makes him an expert on puns - let me remind you that Shakespeare used around 3,000 puns in his plays. That, and the fact that he has published a thorough and delightful article called 'The Power of The Pun," which you can read right here. So scroll down below, check out these un-bone-lievably spooky skeleton puns and read the highly entertaining and enlightening interview Professor David McInnis so kindly supplied.

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#1

What's a skeleton's least favorite room in a house?

The living room

23points

Jellie Snijders 3 years ago

But, but, but, whar about the CLOSETS!

1point

#2

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

22points

Kona Pake 3 years ago

Tripe.

1point

#3

Why can’t skeletons play church music?

Because they have no organs

21points

First of all, we asked Professor McInnis to share his thoughts on puns' popularity and elaborate on whether it's the play part or the it-makes-you-feel-smart part of puns that people find so alluring. And here's what he had to say. "I suppose some people might use puns to make themselves feel smarter, but I tend to think the joy of puns lies in the sharing of a journey or experience. The person who makes the pun anticipates how the other person will understand it in the first instance and enjoys watching the dawning realization of the double-meaning."

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#4

Why did the skeleton run up a tree?

Because a dog was after his bones

20points

#5

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin

18points

#6

What do you call a dead skeleton?

Dust

Undertale Report

18points

Fellow_Undertale_lover 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

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He also added that "Yes, it's skillful -- to find two words that sound alike, but whose different meanings can both function intelligibly in the same sentence can be quite the achievement. But it's only a success if the listener gets the joke (hence it's a bonding exercise of sorts)." See, this explains everything - puns are so popular because they encircle many things that we, as humans, love. Shared experiences, laughter, and brain-teasers are the things that can instantly create a bond between people, so don't feel awkward if you ever feel the urge to blurt out a pun.

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#7

Skeletons make very poor miners.

They can never go deeper than six feet under.

18points

Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago

*clears archeological throat* ACTUALLY with sediment buildup over the years.... yeah I get that it's a joke though

0points

#8

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party?

He had no body to go with

18points

AdelaideRose111 3 years ago

Same skelly, same... ;)

0points

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#9

What band do skeletons like listening to?

Boney M

17points

The next question that I asked has been keeping me awake at night for years, and to get an answer to it was like to itch an unreachable scratch. The thing that I so desperately wanted to know was why the lamer the pun, the funnier we find it. And thanks to Professor McInnis, I can now rest at night, knowing that "I'm a sucker for awful puns (I wonder, for example, what fool called it 'sparkling wine' instead of 'sham-pagne'). I think the worse the pun, the less risk of pretentiousness. But also, the worse the pun, the more it calls attention to the game being played -- we're seeing language being strained, almost breaking the rules, and to see the craft of communication being stretched is quite fun."

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#10

What's a skeleton's least favorite kind of candy?

Jawbreakers

16points

#11

Why didn’t the skeleton want to play basketball, anymore?

Because his heart wasn’t in it

16points

#12

The skeleton literally didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.

15points

There's also another side to puns besides them being belly achingly funny, and Professor McInnis has kindly elaborated on that while also expanding our knowledge on the glorious works of Shakespeare. "There's a serious side to this too, I suppose: think of the opening scene of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, where two of the Capulets are making a series of just terrible puns about coal, colliers, choler, collars, etc. -- I don't think we're meant to find it funny; it's symptomatic of the breakdown of society, the failure of language and signification, and is thus an ominous foreshadowing of the civil strife that characterizes the play."

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#13

What type of artist was the skeleton?

A skullptor

15points

#14

Skeleton comedian could not make anyone laugh.

He probably lost his sense of humerus

15points

#15

Who was the most famous French skeleton?

Napoleon bone-apart

14points

Lastly, I wanted to know whether Professor David McInnis had a favorite pun, to which he replied, "So many favorite puns to choose from... But rather than something funny, I think my favorite pun would have to be serious, and whose rhetorical effect is just a killer way to start a Shakespeare play: the opening lines of Richard III, spoken by Gloucester: 'Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of York...' (where you get the metaphor of sunshine cutting through the winter cold and the 'son' of York transforming fortunes in war)." See, this means you can even use puns in your business emails without being snickered at! That is, if your writing expertise matches that of Shakespeare, I presume.

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Thank you, Prof. David McInnis, for talking to us and delivering this excellent information on puns. I know I've learned a lot of useful information and will continue to use puns with more background added. And now, scroll down below, and check out the rest of our bone-dry skeleton puns!

#16

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween?

He could feel it in his bones

14points

#17

What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!?

Pro Bone-O

14points

#18

What job did the skeleton get at the construction site?

Cranium operator

Undertale Report

13points

#19

Where do skeletons play music?

At Cartilage Hall

13points

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#20

What does a skeleton toddler play?

A xylo-BONE

13points

#21

What do you call a military formation of skeletons?

A phalanx

Undertale Report

13points

#22

What sort of soup do skeletons like?

One with plenty of body in it

13points

#23

What's a skeleton's favorite type of horror movie?

A spine-tingler

Undertale Report

12points

#24

What do you call a skeleton who refuses to work?

Lazy bones

12points

#25

What did the skeleton say after running a marathon?

I'm bone tired

12points

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#26

What do you say to a group of skeletons sailing away on a boat trip?

Bone Voyage

12points

#27

What's a skeleton's favorite light source?

A SHINdelier

12points

#28

What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?

It came back with a skeleton crew

12points

#29

Which skeleton bone is the sassiest?

The cheek bone

12points

#30

What do you call a skeleton who likes things before they're cool?

A hipster

11points

#31

My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.

11points

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#32

What's half the diameter of a skeletal circle?

The radius

Undertale Report

11points

#33

What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?

Jump out of your skin and join him

11points

#34

What's a skeleton's favorite exotic animal?

A ring-tailed femur

11points

#35

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them

11points

#36

The favorite mode of travel for skeleton pilots is—wait for it—the scareplane or the skelecopter.

11points

#37

Why can't skeletons play tennis?

Because they always get tennis elbow

Undertale Report

11points

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#38

What do skeletons call their best friends?

Vertebros

11points

#39

Who was the world's greatest skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones

Undertale Report

11points

#40

What did the skeleton do instead of going to the dance?

He stayed home feeling bone-ly

11points

#41

Why do skeletons make bad bakers?

They always over kneed the dough

Undertale Report

10points

#42

What do you call a skeleton snake?

A rattler

10points

#43

Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?

Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?

Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.

10points

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#44

What's a skeleton's favorite weapon?

A bow and marrow

10points

#45

How do you call a successful skeleton?

A BONEfied professional

10points

#46

What do skeletons yell at parties?

HIP-HIP Hooray

10points

#47

Skeletons have a tendon-cy to get angry!

10points

#48

Why don't you see skeleton's outside often?

They're always sick with a FEMUR

10points

#49

Why did the skeleton throw his hip away?

It was such a waist

10points

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#50

Why can't skeletons fly over area 51?

Because there's a no-fly-bone

Undertale Report

10points

#51

What's a skeleton's favorite yogurt?

Actibia

10points

#52

What did the skeleton doctor say when his patient had a temperature of 101.7 degrees?

I'm afraid you're running a femur

Undertale Report

10points

#53

What did the skeleton say when he got back from Disneyland?

I had a skele-ton of fun

Undertale Report

10points

#54

Why aren't skeletons good drivers?

They always dislocate the shoulder

Undertale Report

10points

#55

Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?

Because they have no skin in the game

10points

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#56

Skeleton didn’t know what to wear this Halloween, but then he had a true epipha-knee.

10points

#57

Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?

He wants tibia honest

10points

#58

How do you know if a spine finds you funny?

It starts cracking up

10points

#59

What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?

A bone-zai tree

10points

#60

Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?

Because he was an ankle biter

10points

#61

What TV show do skeletons love?

Bones

10points

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#62

The skeleton had no choice but to plead guilty, the police had found the skeletons in his closet.

10points

#63

Who is a skeleton's favorite action hero?

Indiana Bones

9points

#64

Why do skeletons like horse races?

Because the leaders are always neck and neck

Undertale Report

9points

#65

What Jersey rock band do skeletons like most?

Bone Jovi

9points

#66

The skeleton played a melodic solo riff on his shiny sax-a-bone.

9points

#67

The one instrument that the skeleton can play better than others is the trom-bone.

9points

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#68

Skeleton is very worried about his friend.

He always works himself down to the bone

9points

#69

Skeleton complained to the chef that his chicken was bone dry!

9points

#70

Who is a skeleton's favorite actress?

Ulna Thurman

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9points

#71

The skeleton didn't like to talk on the rotary skelephone—he preferred his cell bone.

9points

#72

What kind of fish do skeletons catch?

Carpals

Undertale Report

9points

#73

How did the skeleton lose his skin?

Something made his flesh crawl

9points

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#74

Skeletons are having a real Halloween bone-anza this year!

9points

#75

Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.

9points

#76

Where do skeletons buy wood from?

The Lumbar yard

9points

#77

There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.

9points

#78

What do you call a lazy skeleton?

Bone idle

8points

#79

What does a skeleton do during a fire?

Stop, Drop, and SKULL

8points

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#80

Millennial skeletons don't watch skelevision!

8points

#81

What's the "king's" real name?

Pelvis Presley

8points

#82

Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school?

He just didn't have the stomach for it

8points

#83

What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?

A fibula

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8points

#84

What's a skeleton's favorite seafood chain?

Bonefish grill

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8points

#85

What's a skeleton's favorite seafood dish?

Patella

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7points

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Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

What do you think ?

Aleš Kaučič 2 years ago

What's the biggest noise? When two skeletons have sex in roof drain!

0points

Mike Beck 3 years ago

Puns...?

0points

littlesaresare 3 years ago

These are all atrocious. I approve.

0points

Aleš Kaučič 2 years ago

What's the biggest noise? When two skeletons have sex in roof drain!

0points

Mike Beck 3 years ago

Puns...?

0points

littlesaresare 3 years ago

These are all atrocious. I approve.

0points

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