Woman Has Only One Job At Sister’s Gender Reveal, Fails It And Doesn’t Get What’s The Issue
People celebrate the arrival of a new life differently. Some choose to have baby showers, others want to find out the gender of their baby in a fun way and opt for gender reveal parties. These occasions bring family members and friends together, but they can also go awry because of the same family members.
The culprit of this gender reveal party fiasco was the mom-to-be’s nephew. Although she repeatedly asked her sister to make sure the devil child wouldn’t cause any trouble, the worst still happened. So, after vowing never to invite them to anything ever again, she checked in with netizens whether her reaction was too harsh.
After her nephew ruined a gender reveal party, this woman banned him and his mom from future parties
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman sought validation for her decision online: was she overreacting or was the tween out of line
Image credits: Irina Novikova / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous
Permissive parenting can often result in acting out and delinquency
From what the author describes here, her sister seems to be quite a permissive parent. These kinds of parents rarely use any disciplinary actions and allow their kids to do all kinds of shenanigans without consequences.
Permissive parents are usually very loving and nurturing to their children. In some cases, as the OP describes, they can do no wrong in their parents’ eyes. If they establish any rules, they are usually inconsistent. For instance, the sister probably told her son to stay at her side at all times in this situation, yet did nothing when he disobeyed.
Experts say that an effect of permissive parenting can be delinquency and even substance abuse in the future. One study found that children raised by permissive parents were more likely to engage in misconduct. When such children don’t get what they want or face emotionally difficult situations, they may seem less understanding and even show aggression.
As many commenters pointed out, unruly behavior in tweens only gets more difficult with age. Behaviors like stealing at such a young age can signal a more serious behavioral problem. This is especially true when coupled with other troubling patterns like breaking windows and suspensions from school.
Image credits: Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many criticize gender reveal parties for reinforcing the gender binary and being unsafe
People generally have mixed feelings about gender reveal parties. A 2018 YouGov survey revealed that 35% of Americans think they are “unnecessary” and 28% called them “silly.” The Brits have similar opinions: 46.5% think they are “silly.” Still, 13% of the respondents in Britain said they would have a gender reveal party.
Many people bash gender reveal parties as a concept. Some say they’re outdated because they reinforce the gender binary. But more people hate on them because some examples of gender reveal parties in the past have been quite dangerous.
In 2019, a Florida woman tragically passed away after a piece of shrapnel from a homemade explosive struck her in the head. Other gender reveal parties had some unfortunate consequences for the environment. In 2020, one such party resulted in a massive wildfire in California. A crop dusting plane crash in Texas injured a person in a gender reveal gone wrong in 2019.
Even the woman who started the gender reveal party trend now says they should be obsolete and unnecessary. The woman, Jenna Myers Karvunidis, even likened the trend to inventing gunpowder. Her daughter Bianca, for whom the party was meant at the time, is now a teen and doesn’t exactly conform to gender standards.
“Bianca tells me there are more than two genders and many sexualities. I hadn’t considered all this before,” Karvunidis told The Guardian. “At least when the child is born, you are getting all the information at once: the sex, the colour of their hair, who they look like, how long they are, what their heart rate is,” Karvunidis went on. “With the gender-reveal, you’ve isolated one aspect of this person. When it gets elevated as being central to your identity, that’s problematic.”
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people showed sympathy for the woman, saying that the child is clearly out of control
Others questioned the theme of the party and gender reveals in general
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Regardless of the event, the kid and his mom are a huge problem. I wouldn’t invite them to anything again if the kid was going to be there.
Agreed. OP deserves an apology, but frankly so does the friend who went to great lengths to organise all of this. She must have been devastated.
Load More Replies...As a nurse, she knows there are times when a disease is rampant and drastic action must be taken in order to preserve life (ex amputating an arm to save the person). Your nephew is toxic. Your sister is toxic. You MIL is dangerous. Cut them out of your life to preserve your health.
Gender reveal parties are dumb, in my opinion, but that doesn't give someone else the right to ruin it for the people having them...
The whole gender reveal thing is still weird to me. I'm old though. When my mom was pregnant with me, there was one ultrasound machine in the entire state and my parents couldn't afford to make the trip to OHSU in Portland. The best the hospital had in rural Eastern Oregon was an EKG. They measured my heartbeat and determined I was likely going to be a girl but they weren't sure. My parents chose a non-gendered name and I came out a boy. I'm pretty much the last generation where people don't know until actual birth. Just wanted to share that. Also that kid is a total a-hole and he's going to get a severe rude awakening when real life slaps him.
Yeah, but let people enjoy stuff if they're not hurting anyone.
Load More Replies...It solves the problem of having this walking crime scene anywhere near your home or baby. You do realise that if you keep in touch, 5 years from now, you'll be driving to a police station with a 4 year old strapped in the car to bail out an 18 year old as his mother is otherwise occupied with dealing with some crisis he's caused?
The OP is most certainly NTA, and had every right to feel and express her outrage. More broadly, while we cannot choose who is in our family, we can absolutely choose who we include and exclude from our lives - whether they are within or outside our family. The adage that ‘blood is thicker than water’ is nonsense. I worked in a nursing home before going back to complete university, grad school, and saw innumerable aged parents sitting weeks, months, years waiting for visits from children that never came. I’ve seen some of the greatest cruelty inflicted on people not by strangers or acquaintances, but by their family members. I’ve had to cut off immediate family for repeated and unapologetic toxic behavior - as I would anyone. The criterion for who include or exclude from your life should not be blood - but, instead, behavior. Does, or does the person not, act towards you (and others) with love, respect and integrity? The OP needs to decide on which side her sister sits.
I have a phrase that I absolutely love. It applies to situations like this, and anywhere else anyone says, "but family..." to excuse shirty behavior. Blood is thicker than water, but water runs clear. OPs friend and OPs husband, those are the clear. People who love you and may not be related but blood but you choose them. Those people who are always on your side.
Load More Replies...Regardless of the event, the kid and his mom are a huge problem. I wouldn’t invite them to anything again if the kid was going to be there.
Agreed. OP deserves an apology, but frankly so does the friend who went to great lengths to organise all of this. She must have been devastated.
Load More Replies...As a nurse, she knows there are times when a disease is rampant and drastic action must be taken in order to preserve life (ex amputating an arm to save the person). Your nephew is toxic. Your sister is toxic. You MIL is dangerous. Cut them out of your life to preserve your health.
Gender reveal parties are dumb, in my opinion, but that doesn't give someone else the right to ruin it for the people having them...
The whole gender reveal thing is still weird to me. I'm old though. When my mom was pregnant with me, there was one ultrasound machine in the entire state and my parents couldn't afford to make the trip to OHSU in Portland. The best the hospital had in rural Eastern Oregon was an EKG. They measured my heartbeat and determined I was likely going to be a girl but they weren't sure. My parents chose a non-gendered name and I came out a boy. I'm pretty much the last generation where people don't know until actual birth. Just wanted to share that. Also that kid is a total a-hole and he's going to get a severe rude awakening when real life slaps him.
Yeah, but let people enjoy stuff if they're not hurting anyone.
Load More Replies...It solves the problem of having this walking crime scene anywhere near your home or baby. You do realise that if you keep in touch, 5 years from now, you'll be driving to a police station with a 4 year old strapped in the car to bail out an 18 year old as his mother is otherwise occupied with dealing with some crisis he's caused?
The OP is most certainly NTA, and had every right to feel and express her outrage. More broadly, while we cannot choose who is in our family, we can absolutely choose who we include and exclude from our lives - whether they are within or outside our family. The adage that ‘blood is thicker than water’ is nonsense. I worked in a nursing home before going back to complete university, grad school, and saw innumerable aged parents sitting weeks, months, years waiting for visits from children that never came. I’ve seen some of the greatest cruelty inflicted on people not by strangers or acquaintances, but by their family members. I’ve had to cut off immediate family for repeated and unapologetic toxic behavior - as I would anyone. The criterion for who include or exclude from your life should not be blood - but, instead, behavior. Does, or does the person not, act towards you (and others) with love, respect and integrity? The OP needs to decide on which side her sister sits.
I have a phrase that I absolutely love. It applies to situations like this, and anywhere else anyone says, "but family..." to excuse shirty behavior. Blood is thicker than water, but water runs clear. OPs friend and OPs husband, those are the clear. People who love you and may not be related but blood but you choose them. Those people who are always on your side.
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