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Woman Wants To Ruin Sister’s Dress For Her Wedding, Gets Upset When She’s Told ‘No’

Woman Wants To Ruin Sister’s Dress For Her Wedding, Gets Upset When She’s Told ‘No’

Woman Wants To Ruin Sister’s Dress For Her Wedding, Gets Upset When She’s Told ‘No’Woman Uninvited Sister From Her Wedding Because She Can’t Part Ways With Her Wedding DressWoman Refuses To See Her Wedding Dress Butchered To Appease Delusional Sister, Drama Ensues“I Was Taken Aback”: Woman May Skip Sister’s Wedding After Fight Over Her Wedding Dress“AITA For Refusing To Attend My Sister's Wedding Because She Wants to Repurpose My Dress?”Woman Storms Out After Sister Refuses To Hand Over Her Wedding Dress To Be “Repurposed”Woman Doesn’t Allow Sister To Ruin Her Wedding Dress, Gets Pressured To Just “Let Her Have Her Way”Woman Refuses To Let Sister “Have Her Way” With Her Sentimental Wedding Dress, Drama EnsuesFamily Turns Against Woman When She Refuses To Give Away Her Wedding Dress To Her Sister“It Is A Big Deal To Me”: Woman Won’t Share Her Dream Wedding Dress With Sister, Makes Her Mad
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A wedding dress is almost like a sacred thing. It’s associated with so many positive memories. And the odds are that you spent a pretty penny on it, as the average wedding dress can cost thousands of dollars. So, it would hurt for you to see anyone damage such an expensive, sentimental garment.

One anonymous woman asked the popular AITAH online community for some impartial advice about a particularly tense situation in her family. The author shared how her sister, who is getting married soon, wants to borrow and drastically alter her dress. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

Wedding dresses often hold a lot of sentimental value. Not to mention that many brides spent a lot of money on them

Image credits: Rewan Ahmed / pexels (not the actual photo)

A woman shared how she and her sister had a falling out over her wanting to borrow and alter her wedding dress to save some cash

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Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Budget-Jaguar-1990

The average wedding dress costs a lot, but there are lots of ways to save cash if you’re creative and patient enough

WeddingWire notes that the average cost of a wedding dress in the United States is around $1,000, typically ranging from $280 to $1,650. Naturally, you can find dresses for way less and far more money, too. It all depends on your budget, financial goals, the idea behind your wedding, and thriftiness.

A good rule of thumb is that the simpler a dress is, the cheaper it will be. The more elaborate the design, the more it’ll hurt your wallet.

Expensive fabric with lots of fine details is, well, expensive. Other things that add to the cost of the dress include alterations, accessories, undergarments, as well as cleaning and preservation after your Big Day.

However, a study conducted by The Knot found that the average dress in 2023 cost far more, standing at around $2,000. Around a fifth of brides went with custom-made (and thus more expensive) dresses.

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Of course, there are ways to get around the dilemma that the author and her sister are in without leading to massive fractures in the family. If the primary motivation for asking to borrow the dress is financial, well, there are lots of options to save money.

For one, there are tons of thrift shops and discount wedding dress stores out there. With a bit of patience, some good recommendations, and a dash of creativity, you can definitely find some wedding garb that suits you. Besides, if you plan on drastically altering the dress in the first place, then you don’t necessarily need to use someone else’s sentimental piece of clothing for that little project.

If you absolutely must have a super expensive dress to alter and aren’t willing to look for any compromises, then you can always ask your family members for some money. Your older relatives are likely to be happy to pitch in to make your Big Day even grander.

Alternatively, if their own budgets are way too tight to lend you a hand, you can always look for some other areas of your wedding where you could cut back to finance your dress.

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Maybe you can save a few hundred doubloons on the decor if you go for different flowers and bunting. Maybe you decide to go for a slightly cheaper caterer. Maybe you don’t need five wedding photographers to document every single second of the ceremony and reception. There are endless trade-offs to consider here.

Being someone’s family member means respecting their boundaries, not just making demands

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s a tough call on what to do because a lot is riding on this one dilemma. Broadly speaking, whatever the author chooses, whether to honor her boundaries or give in to the demands, is bound to affect her future relationship with her sister very much. No matter what that decision is, there are bound to be consequences. And that’s a ton of pressure.

On the one hand, the wedding dress is the author’s property, and she can do with it whatever she likes. She paid a lot of money for it. Not only that but the dress clearly has sentimental value, so she doesn’t want it to be drastically altered like her sister proposed, involving shortening and dyeing it.

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There’s also the social aspect to consider. It’s not a great feeling when you’ve clearly laid out your boundaries, yet the people close to you keep pressuring you to change your mind. Relenting and giving up on those boundaries might feel like betraying yourself a bit. And it’s not a good feeling when your relatives try to manipulate you emotionally.

On the other hand (playing devil’s advocate here a bit), on an objective, cosmic scale, a dress is just a piece of clothing. At the end of the day, what truly makes us happy are the positive relationships we develop in life, not how many possessions we have. While keeping some sentimental items will remind you of the good old days, if these things aren’t used and only collect dust in the closet, are they really all that valuable?

No dress, however stylish, is worth missing a sibling’s wedding over. But this idea is a two-way street. The younger sister is mulling the possibility of not inviting the author to her wedding unless she ‘shows her support.’ Uninviting someone because they tell you ‘no’ isn’t fair. Real love means respecting each other’s boundaries, not just making sacrifices for each other all the time.

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What would you personally do if you were in the author’s situation, dear Pandas? Would you continue enforcing your healthy boundaries or would you give up the dress so you could attend the wedding? Have you ever had anyone make unreasonable demands of you in the run-up to their wedding? Let us know what you think in the comments!

Most internet users were very supportive of the author standing up for herself. Here’s the advice they gave her

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However, a few readers shared some less-than-popular insights. Here’s their interpretation of what happened

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

Read less »

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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R Dennis
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The YTAs are crazy, as usual. None of them can imagine OP's daughter or granddaughter wearing it? Even if she never has a kid, it's her dress. I won't get into the whole Wedding Industrial Complex, because that isn't relevant.

person (i think)
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently they have never heard of bridal consignment stores, regular consignment stores, thrift shops, Poshmark, etsy, eBay, or one of the other myriad ways to get a reasonably priced wedding dress without ‘supporting the Wedding Industrial Complex’.

Load More Replies...
arthbach
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another person who doesn't understand the meaning of 'selfish'. They think it means 'preventing a person getting their own way', rather than 'someone who is selfish only thinks of their own advantage'. She has totally failed to see that she is the selfish one; she only cares about saving money by taking her sister's dress.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not a toy train that a six year old is made to share with a four year old, it's something of great cost and sentimental value that the parents did not help pay for. Sheesh, the chancers never let up, do they?

Shark Lady
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm convinced the YTA on these type of posts are just so they can be argumentative. If something holds a lot of sentimental value for you (doesn't matter what it is) then no one should even be asking to borrow it, let alone having a tantrum because the owner said no. In this case it's pretty obvious who is the favourite child, used to getting whatever they want.

Anna V
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the sister not only pressures her to give her something of great sentimental value to alter it, but actually threatens her that she won't be invited to the wedding if she doesn't comply. And the parents think that ok and that OP should agree? Oh wow... there are even YTA comments!

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better yet, dead lock the door (if possible) if they have keys. Or, if they DO have keys (!), ask for them back. I wouldn't put it past peeps like this having a major hunt through your house

Load More Replies...
Tabitha
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the parents feel so strongly about that b******t “family” c**p, then Mom can give her little baby girl HER wedding dress to destroy.

Daya Meyer
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What makes bridal gowns so special that people think they are property of a whole family? Nobody would ask to borrow a thing (toaster, car, board game...) and complain to everyone when it is denied with a reason. But a bridal gown can be borrowed, altered, used and the former bride seems to have not the right to say no. If I would be the one who borrows a bridal gown I would be very careful so I could give it back as good as it was.

HTakeover
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reads like they have a barely functioning relationship, with years of dysfunction built up. Or at the least, years of resentment built up from a history of this kind of behavior.

Momma Jess
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an antique card box that was at my great aunt and uncle's house and given to me after they passed. The back edge was torn where it had been opened time after time for years. I repaired it myself, and it's holding beautifully. I have it on my altar table in my living room. After I moved once and couldn't find it I straight up PANICKED until we found it and I knew where it was. It means a lot to me, even though it's just a box. Her dress means a lot to her too, even though it's just a dress. If someone tries to take it from her I implore the OP to look me up so I can personally BITE whoever took it.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP: NTA. A lot of brides want to pass their dress down to their daughter, or granddaughter, and it's their choice. How dare someone, regardless of being a sister/family member, think they have the right to something that both took a long time to save for, and has precious memories, just so they can 'save money'. I despise self-entitled peeps. And f**k off, YTAers. Bloody hell.

Schmebulock
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% a fake story. Everyone knows how important the wedding dress usually is to the bride. Her parents saying to just give in on an expensive dress she saved years for is complete b******t. If the story is somehow true then she needs to tell the parents to step up and buy her a dress since it's their traditional role. If they are unwilling then tell them and the sister to eat a bag of d***s.

Somebodys grandmother
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ultimatums never works... are you ready for that... you will loose! No one wants to be given an ultimatum...

Sea Squirrel
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope her fiancé sees how manipulative his girlfriend is before their wedding.

Mark Alexander
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. I'm married. Does that make me "done with my husband?" Fork off.

Paulina
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly NTA! Honestly, it doesn't even matter if it's about the dress. If something is mine, then I'm the one and only person deciding what would happen to it. And blackmailing anyone into doing anything is shît move anyway. It only shows that material possessions and having things her way are more important to the sister than family relations.

G A
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the sister wants to alter it that much, why f*****g ask for it in the first place? Get the dress she actually wants. Emotional blackmail/family power play at its worst and the mother is sanctioning it. Don't go to the wedding, don't help don't gave a present go NC with entitled b***h.

Virgil Blue
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you borrow something you are meant to return it in the same state you borrowed it and pay for or repair any damages. Cutting bits of and colouring it is essentially destroying the old dress.

Midoribird Aoi
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have her sister agree to pay for an expensive photo shoot with OP wearing her dress, for the sake of sentimental memory, before agreeing to give up the dress to her sister. (Yes, I am being humorous here, but it is an interesting compromise if they have to do something.)

wobbly jelly
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ask your sister if you can repurpose her hubby to be as a gardener / painter / cleaner - what ever you need doing? That's what family would do for each other!

nana theater
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all these "Somebody ruined my wedding by ..." stories BP consists of these days, all I have left to say is: Straight people are so weird. I don't care about their weddings anymore.

Grenelda Thurber
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to a resale shop and buy an inexpensive wedding dress that fits you. Cut and dye to your hearts content, make the dress "unique" to you. Voila, you have what you want, sister still has her (unaltered) dress, nobody is upset.

Matt
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sister sounds awful op could probably go to her sister's next wedding

ThisIsMe
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is simple. It's OP's dress, sister's wedding. OP setting boundaries that she is uncomfortable letting go of dress, and that's her decision. Sister is setting boundary (although personally I think it is petty) that she would not be comfortable having OP there without dress, and that's her decision.

R Dennis
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The YTAs are crazy, as usual. None of them can imagine OP's daughter or granddaughter wearing it? Even if she never has a kid, it's her dress. I won't get into the whole Wedding Industrial Complex, because that isn't relevant.

person (i think)
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently they have never heard of bridal consignment stores, regular consignment stores, thrift shops, Poshmark, etsy, eBay, or one of the other myriad ways to get a reasonably priced wedding dress without ‘supporting the Wedding Industrial Complex’.

Load More Replies...
arthbach
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another person who doesn't understand the meaning of 'selfish'. They think it means 'preventing a person getting their own way', rather than 'someone who is selfish only thinks of their own advantage'. She has totally failed to see that she is the selfish one; she only cares about saving money by taking her sister's dress.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not a toy train that a six year old is made to share with a four year old, it's something of great cost and sentimental value that the parents did not help pay for. Sheesh, the chancers never let up, do they?

Shark Lady
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm convinced the YTA on these type of posts are just so they can be argumentative. If something holds a lot of sentimental value for you (doesn't matter what it is) then no one should even be asking to borrow it, let alone having a tantrum because the owner said no. In this case it's pretty obvious who is the favourite child, used to getting whatever they want.

Anna V
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the sister not only pressures her to give her something of great sentimental value to alter it, but actually threatens her that she won't be invited to the wedding if she doesn't comply. And the parents think that ok and that OP should agree? Oh wow... there are even YTA comments!

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better yet, dead lock the door (if possible) if they have keys. Or, if they DO have keys (!), ask for them back. I wouldn't put it past peeps like this having a major hunt through your house

Load More Replies...
Tabitha
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the parents feel so strongly about that b******t “family” c**p, then Mom can give her little baby girl HER wedding dress to destroy.

Daya Meyer
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What makes bridal gowns so special that people think they are property of a whole family? Nobody would ask to borrow a thing (toaster, car, board game...) and complain to everyone when it is denied with a reason. But a bridal gown can be borrowed, altered, used and the former bride seems to have not the right to say no. If I would be the one who borrows a bridal gown I would be very careful so I could give it back as good as it was.

HTakeover
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reads like they have a barely functioning relationship, with years of dysfunction built up. Or at the least, years of resentment built up from a history of this kind of behavior.

Momma Jess
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an antique card box that was at my great aunt and uncle's house and given to me after they passed. The back edge was torn where it had been opened time after time for years. I repaired it myself, and it's holding beautifully. I have it on my altar table in my living room. After I moved once and couldn't find it I straight up PANICKED until we found it and I knew where it was. It means a lot to me, even though it's just a box. Her dress means a lot to her too, even though it's just a dress. If someone tries to take it from her I implore the OP to look me up so I can personally BITE whoever took it.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP: NTA. A lot of brides want to pass their dress down to their daughter, or granddaughter, and it's their choice. How dare someone, regardless of being a sister/family member, think they have the right to something that both took a long time to save for, and has precious memories, just so they can 'save money'. I despise self-entitled peeps. And f**k off, YTAers. Bloody hell.

Schmebulock
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% a fake story. Everyone knows how important the wedding dress usually is to the bride. Her parents saying to just give in on an expensive dress she saved years for is complete b******t. If the story is somehow true then she needs to tell the parents to step up and buy her a dress since it's their traditional role. If they are unwilling then tell them and the sister to eat a bag of d***s.

Somebodys grandmother
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ultimatums never works... are you ready for that... you will loose! No one wants to be given an ultimatum...

Sea Squirrel
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope her fiancé sees how manipulative his girlfriend is before their wedding.

Mark Alexander
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. I'm married. Does that make me "done with my husband?" Fork off.

Paulina
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly NTA! Honestly, it doesn't even matter if it's about the dress. If something is mine, then I'm the one and only person deciding what would happen to it. And blackmailing anyone into doing anything is shît move anyway. It only shows that material possessions and having things her way are more important to the sister than family relations.

G A
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the sister wants to alter it that much, why f*****g ask for it in the first place? Get the dress she actually wants. Emotional blackmail/family power play at its worst and the mother is sanctioning it. Don't go to the wedding, don't help don't gave a present go NC with entitled b***h.

Virgil Blue
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you borrow something you are meant to return it in the same state you borrowed it and pay for or repair any damages. Cutting bits of and colouring it is essentially destroying the old dress.

Midoribird Aoi
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have her sister agree to pay for an expensive photo shoot with OP wearing her dress, for the sake of sentimental memory, before agreeing to give up the dress to her sister. (Yes, I am being humorous here, but it is an interesting compromise if they have to do something.)

wobbly jelly
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ask your sister if you can repurpose her hubby to be as a gardener / painter / cleaner - what ever you need doing? That's what family would do for each other!

nana theater
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all these "Somebody ruined my wedding by ..." stories BP consists of these days, all I have left to say is: Straight people are so weird. I don't care about their weddings anymore.

Grenelda Thurber
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to a resale shop and buy an inexpensive wedding dress that fits you. Cut and dye to your hearts content, make the dress "unique" to you. Voila, you have what you want, sister still has her (unaltered) dress, nobody is upset.

Matt
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sister sounds awful op could probably go to her sister's next wedding

ThisIsMe
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is simple. It's OP's dress, sister's wedding. OP setting boundaries that she is uncomfortable letting go of dress, and that's her decision. Sister is setting boundary (although personally I think it is petty) that she would not be comfortable having OP there without dress, and that's her decision.

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