If you’ve ever had to put a young child to bed, you might know the absolute hell that sometimes accompanies it. “I’m hungry,” “I need to pee,” “I’m thirsty,” “Why must I go to sleep?” Kids have the uncanny ability to come up with a thousand reasons under the sun why it’s not a great time to shut their eyes and drift into dreamland.

One woman went online to share how babysitting her niece and nephew turned into an absolute nightmare recently. She had everything under control until the dreaded bedtime arrived. Her nephew demanded his tablet, but the “cool aunt” stood her ground. The 7-year-old then threw a massive tantrum, hurling a dinner plate at her. But the part that really upset the woman was when the kid’s mom berated her for not letting him “self-soothe” with his device. The aunt is now wondering if she was in the wrong.

It’s not uncommon for children to put up a fight when it gets to bedtime

Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)

But this woman was caught off guard when her nephew threw a dinner plate at her because she wouldn’t let him stay up and use his tablet

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: vernvaquer

Modern parenting doesn’t mean allowing kids to run amok: an expert explains

When Dr. Becca Ballinger’s husband of 14 years came out as gay, she was worried about how the announcement, and their consequent divorce, would affect her young kids. The clinical psychologist “dove into psychological research and used studies, evidence-based strategies, and statistics as [her] guide when making parenting decisions.”

More than ten years later, she says she has well-rounded and happy children. And she has become an expert in the field. Ballinger is the founder of Modern Parenting Solutions and specializes in therapy for teens, tweens, young adults, and families. She believes some people miss the point of modern parenting.

“Some people jump to the conclusion that modern parenting is allowing their kids to live without rules, expectations, or values of any kind,” said Ballinger. “The stereotype of the kids setting the tone of the household and getting away with everything is often the knee-jerk image for some people.”

The expert instead defines modern parenting as “a parenting style that focuses on family-centered, research-informed, and connection-focused parenting solutions.” She adds that it’s all about “using the family’s unique passions, values, and beliefs to guide parenting decisions that lead to raising good kids and building a close bond with them at the same time.”

Research shows that 30% of children aren’t getting enough sleep because of excessive screen time

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommends that children between the ages of 6 and 12 years old get 9 to 12 hours of sleep a night. The AASM warns that not getting sufficient sleep can lead to attention, behavior, and learning problems. It also “increases the risk of accidents, injuries, hypertension, obesity, diabetes, and depression.”

But this research paper cautions that almost a third of children are not getting the amount of sleep they need. It notes several studies have found that screen time is to blame. Children are either using valuable sleep time to play games or watch shows. Or they’re being psychologically stimulated. The light exposure and increased physiological alertness are causing them to struggle to fall asleep.

The paper further notes that three-quarters of American children and adolescents have at least one screen media device in their bedroom, “with roughly 60% reporting regular use of these devices during the hour before bedtime.” The AASM recommends that screen-based devices should be turned off 30 minutes before bedtime and should not be allowed in children’s bedrooms at all. The American Academy of Pediatrics has endorsed the recommendation.

Ballinger believes devices should be turned off even earlier. “There is no easier way to improve your child’s mood, behavior, and attention than enforcing a break from electronics the hour before bed.” The expert adds that routines are also key to getting a good night’s rest. “Routines help young people (and their bodies) predict – and prepare for – what’s coming next,” she explained. “We want your child’s body to learn to ‘power down’… so they can fall asleep quickly and stay asleep for most of the night.”

She says some parents are turning to melatonin or over-the-counter medicine instead of using the most obvious technique to ensure their kids get enough rest. “The easiest way to help your child or teen to fall asleep is to take a break from electronics the hour before sleep.”

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