Nothing brings people together like a wedding celebration, and nothing tears them apart faster than figuring out who’s paying for what. One minute you’re toasting to love, the next you’re calculating if you can afford rent after buying a gift and an outfit. These days, if you’re part of the wedding party, you’ll need a full-blown investment plan to survive a wedding.

That’s what one Redditor went through, as she thought she was signing up for a wholesome bridesmaid experience, only to find out she was actually being charged an entry fee.

More info: Reddit

Love may be free, but apparently bridesmaid duties come with hidden fees

Image credits: Matheus Bertelli / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One woman decided to skip her sister’s wedding after she was expected to pay hundreds for an outfit, bachelorette party plus other expenses she can’t afford

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The bride accused her sister of ruining her wedding after she let her know she couldn’t afford to pay $300 for a dress plus $150 for “helping out”

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: sleepy-apple12

The woman decided to skip the wedding as she can’t afford the costs of being a bridesmaid

The OP’s (original poster) sister, Lily, is getting married and asked the OP to be her bridesmaid, which she happily accepted. Little did she know, this “privilege” would come with a hefty price tag. And not just for the usual dress and glam – no, no, the bride-to-be decided to throw in a “bridesmaid fee” just for good measure.

At first, our OP was ready to take on the standard bridesmaid expenses. A $300 dress? Painful, but manageable. Hair and makeup? Annoying, but expected. Accessories? Sure, why not? But then Lily hit her with the bridesmaid tax: an extra $150 fee to cover the bachelorette party expenses, decorations, and well, just to “help out.”

Now, here’s what I’m wondering: since when did being in a wedding come with a cover charge? Is there a VIP lounge we don’t know about? Does this fee come with a complimentary champagne toast and a commemorative tote bag? Just asking.

Understandably, our OP balked at the idea of paying a premium just to stand next to her sister on the big day. And when she politely declined the additional charge, because she just couldn’t afford it, Lily had the nerve to call her selfish. Ah, yes, because not wanting to pay for someone else’s wedding is clearly an act of villainy.

When our OP decided she just couldn’t justify the cost and opted out of attending altogether, the family labeled her as “petty” and accused her of “ruining the wedding.” Classic. Because nothing says “happily ever after” like shaming your own sister for not wanting to max out her credit card on your big day.

Image credits: mikoto.raw Photographer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

I get it, weddings are expensive, but the cost shouldn’t be shifted onto the bridal party beyond what’s traditionally expected. Wedding planners say that while bridesmaids should expect to cover personal costs—think dress, shoes, and maybe a reasonable contribution to the bachelorette party—there’s a fine line between reasonable and ridiculous.

What shouldn’t they be paying for? Food and drinks are at the top of the list, plus anything that benefits the couple directly. That means venue decor, wedding favors, or honeymoon. If a bride wants something extra, she should budget for it herself instead of handing her besties an itemized bill.

Now, if you’re a bride-to-be and want to avoid mass mutiny in your bridal party, here’s a tip from the pros: be upfront about costs, and how much money you have to spend, from the start. No one likes surprise fees. Have an honest chat with your family about expectations, be open to financial limitations, and, most importantly, don’t make your guests feel like they’re paying for the privilege of celebrating you.

Want a lavish affair? Fantastic. But if it’s out of budget for your bridal crew, adjust accordingly or cover the extra costs yourself. A wedding should be a celebration, not a financial burden disguised as a party. Bridesmaids already invest their time, effort, and money into supporting the couple. Charging an extra “fee” is not only unusual but also unfair.

What do you think of this story? Would you pay a bridesmaid fee, or would you RSVP “nope” like our poster? Let us know in the comments below!

Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not a jerk for refusing to pay her sister’s bridesmaid fees

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