You should be allowed to be your authentic self and your family members should support you no matter what. At least that’s the idea. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. Redditor ThrowawayNZ2000, who is bisexual, shared how she refused to attend her sister’s wedding because her family didn’t want her bringing her girlfriend to the ceremony.

The couple has been dating for a year now, but her family thought that the wedding wasn’t the place to “make a statement.” The bride’s family is catholic, as is the groom’s. And while the bride’s family all know about the redditor having a gf, they’re less than enthused and don’t want to have to explain things to the groom and his family members.

So ThrowawayNZ2000 was forced to pick between her partner and her family, a choice that nobody should have to make. Alas! Have a read through the full story below and scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with a pair of wedding experts who explained what to do when you and your guests’ world views don’t align.

A woman shared how she was forced to choose between her partner and her religious family when it came to her sister’s wedding in Hawaii

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowawayNZ2000

According to redditor ThrowawayNZ2000, her family members weren’t willing to compromise. So she decided to stand up for her partner because she realized that she would deeply regret not doing so lately. Though, to be fair, she also pointed out that she was very sad that she couldn’t take part in her sister’s wedding either.

Family drama ensued after she made her final decision and her sister ended up being very upset that she wouldn’t have a bridesmaid at her intimate, family-only Hawaii wedding.

Meanwhile, Bored Panda spoke to Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society about similar situations. They explained that couples should be aware that they’ll never create the ‘perfect’ guestlist and should be more diplomatic and lenient if not everyone sees the world as they do.

The most important part is celebrating love with the people you care about (and the people that they care about), not fighting over who’s right and wrong.

“You’re never going to know everything about everyone you invite and you’re never going to have all your values align 100% with everyone you care about,” Anna and Sarah told Bored panda.

“Unless it’s a massive dealbreaker, try to remember that it’s just one day of your life, and having someone there who you don’t even really have to engage with is sometimes the kinder action than alienating someone for having a different view to yours,” they suggested that kindness and diplomacy tend to be better in the long run than alienation and drama. And sometimes… it’s best to set aside your own views and desire to be in the right for the sake of a smooth wedding with a variety of guests. We’re all human, after all.

Reddit overwhelmingly declared that the woman was right to refuse to attend the wedding. Here’s what some of them said

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