“I Was Homeless And Single In Less Than A Day”: Lies Ruin Woman’s Life Until Sister Comes Clean
It’s common for family members to fight sometimes. Getting into an argument with one’s parents or starting a duel with a sibling has likely happened in most households. But some fights are more difficult to recover from than others, if at all possible.
Redditor u/Ok_Independence_579 recently told the ‘Off My Chest’ community about how she ghosted her family and fiancé after what her sister did. The sibling got the OP into a situation which resulted in destroyed family relationships and a broken engagement, turning her entire world upside down.
Some unfortunate situations can irreversibly alter even the closest of relationships
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
This woman ghosted her entire family and her fiancé all because of her sister
Image credits: Maor Attias (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Independence_579
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Independence_579
Family is often considered one of the most important things in life, but quite a few people are estranged from theirs
Family is one of the major support systems people have in their lives; more than half of Americans say it is the most important thing in life in general. Even with an occasional fight, which arguably no household is able to avoid, blood is thicker than water, which is why cutting family from your life is undeniably a difficult thing to do.
“We become attached to family members early in life, and separation from them is often very distressing,” sociologist and gerontologist Karl A. Pillemer told the Greeley Tribune. Be that as it may, the OP had her reasons to do it. Due to her sister’s lies, the family—as well as her fiancé—turned away from her, altering life as she knew it irrevocably.
According to Pillemer’s studies, roughly 25% of US adults have become estranged from their families. He suggested the three main reasons for that are adverse childhood experiences, differences in values and expectations, and situational factors, the latter likely being what caused the rift between the OP and her family. “Sometimes, a new wife or husband will deliberately alienate a person from his or her family,” Pillemer told the Greeley Tribune, providing an example of situational reasons for becoming estranged.
Some people don’t think they could have a functioning relationship with their estranged family in the future
Pillemer’s studies also revealed that family estrangement is often related to a severe—in some cases, total—breakdown in communication. He pointed out that when a major fight in the family occurs, communication tends to shut down and family members take sides, making the situation even more difficult to handle. “When communication ends, the estranged person begins to do what is called ‘stonewalling,’ that is, they put up a communication wall and refuse all contacts,” the expert said.
The OP’s family seemingly took the sister’s side without even considering what the redditor had to say herself, and eventually, she cut all ties with them, seeking a fresh start in life. The final straw was seeing her family go on Christmas holiday without her. According to The Hidden Voices Report on family estrangement in adulthood, the holiday season is the most difficult time for those no longer in touch with their family members (followed by birthdays and time spent with other people’s families).
The Hidden Voices Report also revealed that roughly 70-75% of estranged family members have no contact with their parents or siblings (just over 20% of the rest saying they have minimal contact). In her update of the story, the OP shared she was willing to reconcile with her father; however, she was reluctant to do so with her mother. The report suggested that out of the estranged family members, daughters tend to be the most unsure about whether or not they could have a functioning relationship with their kin in the future.
When asked about it, 43% of them replied that they don’t know and roughly as many of them disagreed with such a statement; 14% believed their relationship could never go back to normal. In comparison, 16% of mothers were unsure about whether they could be on good terms with their estranged family members in the future; 5% could imagine them having a functioning relationship, while as much as 79% couldn’t.
The majority of surveyed people agreed that it can be helpful talking to others about their situation. The OP decided to turn to the online community to pour her heart out; and she was met with support from fellow redditors, some of whom shared their thoughts on the matter in the comments.
People shared their reactions in the comments
One fellow redditor has gone through a similar situation as well
Navigating complex family dynamics can be as challenging as dealing with grief. In a way, both involve processing loss and finding ways to move forward.
For more insights on carrying on through difficult times, you might explore how laughter helps in the face of grief, just like Sara and Katie did after losing their mother.
Yeah, my capacity for forgiveness does not have room for s**t like that. She should change her number and talk to the police, see if she can still report and press charges on her sister. Oh, and therapy. Because someday, she might want to trust someone again.
She wouldn't be able to. She didn't get a drug test done so there's no proof that she got drugged. All her sister has to do is say "I lied to my husband because I wanted to reconcile with my sister" and the police's hands are tied. It's just horrible.
Load More Replies...Even in the event she did cheat, you don't physically assault your own child and lie and say that you threw out their things, kick her out, and make her homeless. Furthermore, the fiance, parents, and his parents have proven themselves to be completely stupid. They are willing to believe a strange man over their own daughter and not willing to let her get in a word to defend herself. Not to mention, it sounds like Nicky has a history of being a complete twat and the parents were willing to forgive her for her drug and alcohol problems, but not let their other daughter defend herself. And who sees a photograph of someone wasted out of their mind and thinks that the guy who said "yeah we had sex" wasn't a rapist? On what planet does any of that sound consensual? The dad claims he was looking for his daughter, and maybe he was, but it seems that these people don't realize that their behavior towards OP was in-excusable even if she did cheat on her fiance.
Yes, if she had really cheated the fiance would be justified in calling everything off, but he is willing to believe a strange man over the woman who he supposedly loved and not even listen to her. So the word of a man he doesn't know (probably because he has a penis) and the word of the sister with the history of being a twat is so worthwhile that he doesn't even have to hear his fiance out and hear that she has no memory of what happened (which to anyone with half a brain indicates possible date rape). If possible, I'd look into pressing charges against the sister and her sh!tty friend.
Load More Replies...Someone mentioned getting a rape test performed, I love that, it would have put the fear of God in everyone involved. May have prevented what ended up transpiring.
It would have been perfect, but I think that she was probably so blindsided by her sister and her mother's severe overreaction that likely had already set the tone for everyone else way before OP was even home. That when she was attacked by everyone upon coming in, she was probably in shock. Dear old sister had probably set off the alarm when she returned home and had been fueling the impending blow up when she returned home, for hours. Sister is a disturbing individual and the rest are just sad that they couldn't even listen to her at all. I hope that OP nipped any abuse of her sister's SIL in the bud by talking to her husband about her behaviors and abuses of her and others. I wish OP the very best and continued success and happiness in her life.
Load More Replies...OP shouldn't let her father back into her life, either. What a pathetic doormat he is - mommy made me do it, yeah, bulloney!! Grow a pair this is your kid.
Have them all gather together onto a boat so they can meet you on an island. An island would be a nice, calming, and private place for such a meeting. Tell them you're all due for a family reunion and all is taken care of. Once they are comfortably away from the shore on the boat, set off the bomb and be done with them all. Like a band-aid, rip it right off.
This story made me cry because I grew up with a sister like this one. The terrible things she told EVERYONE I did, family included. I couldn't fault my parents, who didn't know til later what a compulsive liar she was. Eventually my sister stopped contact w our family, once her lies were consistently noticed. I know she went on to tell more lies about how horrible her family was and why she is estranged. But it's not true. My parents have since passed away, though my mom looked for her lost daughter everywhere til the day she died. There are no happy endings with our scenario. I miss the person she used to be, that I used to imagine her to be. Knowing how she hurt my parents, I can't forgive her. But I know my mom would want me to welcome her back. But that "her" doesn't exist anymore.
Yeah, my capacity for forgiveness does not have room for s**t like that. She should change her number and talk to the police, see if she can still report and press charges on her sister. Oh, and therapy. Because someday, she might want to trust someone again.
She wouldn't be able to. She didn't get a drug test done so there's no proof that she got drugged. All her sister has to do is say "I lied to my husband because I wanted to reconcile with my sister" and the police's hands are tied. It's just horrible.
Load More Replies...Even in the event she did cheat, you don't physically assault your own child and lie and say that you threw out their things, kick her out, and make her homeless. Furthermore, the fiance, parents, and his parents have proven themselves to be completely stupid. They are willing to believe a strange man over their own daughter and not willing to let her get in a word to defend herself. Not to mention, it sounds like Nicky has a history of being a complete twat and the parents were willing to forgive her for her drug and alcohol problems, but not let their other daughter defend herself. And who sees a photograph of someone wasted out of their mind and thinks that the guy who said "yeah we had sex" wasn't a rapist? On what planet does any of that sound consensual? The dad claims he was looking for his daughter, and maybe he was, but it seems that these people don't realize that their behavior towards OP was in-excusable even if she did cheat on her fiance.
Yes, if she had really cheated the fiance would be justified in calling everything off, but he is willing to believe a strange man over the woman who he supposedly loved and not even listen to her. So the word of a man he doesn't know (probably because he has a penis) and the word of the sister with the history of being a twat is so worthwhile that he doesn't even have to hear his fiance out and hear that she has no memory of what happened (which to anyone with half a brain indicates possible date rape). If possible, I'd look into pressing charges against the sister and her sh!tty friend.
Load More Replies...Someone mentioned getting a rape test performed, I love that, it would have put the fear of God in everyone involved. May have prevented what ended up transpiring.
It would have been perfect, but I think that she was probably so blindsided by her sister and her mother's severe overreaction that likely had already set the tone for everyone else way before OP was even home. That when she was attacked by everyone upon coming in, she was probably in shock. Dear old sister had probably set off the alarm when she returned home and had been fueling the impending blow up when she returned home, for hours. Sister is a disturbing individual and the rest are just sad that they couldn't even listen to her at all. I hope that OP nipped any abuse of her sister's SIL in the bud by talking to her husband about her behaviors and abuses of her and others. I wish OP the very best and continued success and happiness in her life.
Load More Replies...OP shouldn't let her father back into her life, either. What a pathetic doormat he is - mommy made me do it, yeah, bulloney!! Grow a pair this is your kid.
Have them all gather together onto a boat so they can meet you on an island. An island would be a nice, calming, and private place for such a meeting. Tell them you're all due for a family reunion and all is taken care of. Once they are comfortably away from the shore on the boat, set off the bomb and be done with them all. Like a band-aid, rip it right off.
This story made me cry because I grew up with a sister like this one. The terrible things she told EVERYONE I did, family included. I couldn't fault my parents, who didn't know til later what a compulsive liar she was. Eventually my sister stopped contact w our family, once her lies were consistently noticed. I know she went on to tell more lies about how horrible her family was and why she is estranged. But it's not true. My parents have since passed away, though my mom looked for her lost daughter everywhere til the day she died. There are no happy endings with our scenario. I miss the person she used to be, that I used to imagine her to be. Knowing how she hurt my parents, I can't forgive her. But I know my mom would want me to welcome her back. But that "her" doesn't exist anymore.
















































112
84