I have no idea what my wife was doing at 17, who she was dating, if she was faithful or else. And i could not care less. Met her at 25. Faithful and happy ever since. OP BF reaction is soap opera level. Who you are at 17YO states how your parents raised you. Who you are at 26 is figuring out for yourself.

Sounds like your ex is a child if he cannot see the difference between a teenager and an adult. You probably dodged a bullet.

You dodged a bullet. If Hunter was so intractable on some misguided thing that happened in your youth, there's no telling what else might cause him to leave you at the drop of a hat. Then too, this revelation may have been a convenient reason to break up. Forgive your brother; his brain isn't fully formed yet anyway.

When I started dating my now husband he told me that he had cheated on a past high school girlfriend. I said "And what did you do after?" He said, "I went straight to my girlfriends house and told her and we broke up." I asked him, "so you didn't lie about it?" He said, "Nope." I said, "Ok." We have been together for more than 21 years and I have never once thought that he was unfaithful to me. I can understand not telling someone about something done when so young, but the boyfriend WAY over reacted!

Op's brother: it was a dumb mistake! Op: nah, you're out. Also Op: it was a dumb mistake!

Our brains literally don’t stop developing until we’re 25. I’m not saying anything done as a teenager should automatically be forgiven, but maybe take with a grain of salt! When I look back at the dumb s**t I did as a teenager, I’m amazed I’m still alive!

I “cheated” a couple of time when a young teen, which amounted to nothing more than kissing another boy. If someone is going to hold me being an immature and stupid kid against me, then they have issues.

The brother was an idiot. But everyone at that age is an idiot. On the other hand, the (now ex) fiancé acted irrationally and unfairly. The mistake was eons ago, before he was even in a relationship with her. His type of rigid, unforgiving thinking would have eventually cause problems in their doomed marriage. She dodged a bullet. She should buy the brother a beer, not kick him out.

While I do not like calling people a…..es I get it. But this post shows how much good this kind of social media can do. Glad she plans to get therapy!!!

Your brother would have been 10 when you cheated on your boyfriend at 17. Why would any 10 yr old know anything about your teenage love life? I am concerned about your judgment inappropriately sharing such things with a child. ESH.

If he walked over something that happened years before they met, when she was in high school, she dodged a bullet and should thank her brother.

I think the fiance needs to address his issues, but in no way do I think his reaction was unreasonable. You knew his stance. You knew (or suspected) that he would leave if he knew. While it might seem extreme for him to care about something that happened 9 yrs ago, when you were a teenager, that doesn't mean that his standard is out of line. Especially when he found out the way he did. I'm sure she has no intention of cheating again and in any other relationship it wouldn't matter if she didn't mention it. But she knew how much it mattered to him. For the brother.... Being young or drunk isn't an excuse for poor behavior ("I didn't mean to hit you/cheat on you/blow all of our money gambling, honey, I was just drunk"). But evicting him is essentially the same thing the fiance did. Except she's punishing her brother for HER actions while her fiance also cut ties because of HER actions. She shouldn't feel ashamed for her past, she was a kid just like her brother is now. But she handled every step of this process terribly.

Given how strong the ex-BF feels, the OP should definitely have explained her situation long before in a calm way. Secrets like that always come out. Someone blabs (as in this case) or someone always has a best friend they confide it. Everyone has a different best friend, so it gets around. It's the secret that's the issue, not the cheating (I think).

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Only the ex-fiancee is NTA. He made it clear from their first date what his stance was on cheaters. It's called a boundary, people, and everyone have the right to set them. Of course, he dumped her on the spot! It was his one absolute boundary and she kept her cheating a secret which is tantamount to lying. She proved herself untrustworthy and would marry him and keep that secret, which made her TA. Her brother SKs for revealing her secret, but at least it was before they married. He didn't ruin her relationship though. It was already ruined from the beginning. The 53% saying the fiance is the AH are probably the same people that blame a man and say he is TA for divorcing their wife after discovering any of their children were not his!