Bullying has a huge impact on a person, for a very very long time. I think OP is in her right. The best Annika could have done is take OP apart beforehand and talk about it, ask forgiveness.

She obviously remembers. The bullying took place in high school, for years, and they are in their mid-twenties, it's not like it was one single comment happened 70 years ago, c'mon. And if she was changed she would have apologized. How hard that would be? "Hi, yes I recognize you, I know I bullied you for years, but I fully regret it and I sincerely apologize. I really love your brother and I hope we can all get along" of something like this. Instead she immediately cried. Uhm, ok drama queen. No, she knows, she remembers, she still doesn't care. For her brother's sake, I hope they don't get married, she seems an awful person.

People who pretend to be your friends just to torment you are the WORST. Seriously, why? I experienced this myself. There were two of them. Two Jennifers. They stole all kinds of things from me that I really loved and either got from my parents or other friends. I'm also pretty sure they spread rumours about me, which isolated me from many others. I'm on the spectrum, so I didn't catch on until I spotted one of them opening up a bottle of glue in my desk and laying it on its side so that it would destroy everything in my desk. Thankfully it was a gel glue, so it was slow and I was able to stop it before it leaked. I just stopped talking to both of them after that. F-you, Jennifer and Jennifer. You gave me so many trust issues that still plague me. I was never anything but nice to both of you and I didn't deserve that treatment. I still want my stuff back.

Bullies never remember because it meant nothing to them. In school I was an awkward girl who was overweight with acne and this boy and his friend used to embarras me me by "asking me on a date" and putting their arms around me. It was humiliating. I have been married to his brother for 37 years and he is a total loser who lives with his mom at 63. He totally doesn't remember harassing me but I got the last laugh by living a good life and his family loves me but him him not so much. I win.

NTA, but the brother is very much the AH for keeping it from his own sister... and clearly Annika is lying.. if the OP was just some random girl then sure maybe she could have forgotten.. but since she was the OP's friend, no she is clearly lying... I would demand an apology from your brother.

one of the bullies i had in high school had a habit of spreading rumors about me that would result in a relationship ending. she always laughed at me and said that id grow up to b an unmarried alone grumpy woman. fast forward 5 years ago. she heard thru the grapevine that i was engaged. she messaged me asking me if i was actually engaged or if it was fake. she was clearly still a bully but anyways. i told her to wait and see i even friended her bc i kno my friends and how they r. fast forward to my wedding. my friends r already posting stuff. then the next day everyone posted all the pictures they took. apparently my former bully was furious i wasnt pretending. she thought she was better then me at everything and here i m having the life she wanted. she messaged me nonstop until i answered 4 days after my wedding. we couldnt do a honeymoon so we stayed at a beachfront hotel in the state we live in for 4 days after the wedding. thanks covid. anyways wen i finally answered i asked wat she wanted. i wish i didnt ask bc it was basically a very long message about how she hates me and wants my life bc she cant get anything she wants not even a simple boyfriend. i asked if shed apologize for high school she said no so i gave her a slap of reality. i told her all the things wrong with my life. im on disability, i cant get my dream job bc of my anxeity disorder, i cant have kids without dealing with 5 doctors and med changes bc of my epilepsy, i still cant drive, i just kept going on and on. then finally i told her these words. "what i do have is a husband who thinks im the most beautiful and sweetest woman ever. do u kno y? i respect everyone and never judge or bully." i blocked her after i said that. i figured it was better to let her realize karma is a b!tch on her own. shes still single and still cant keep a job from wat my friends tell me. i personally feel terrible and feel bad for her. i just thought she should kno the truth. if ur a bully and judge ppl constantly the chances of u finding happiness r slim. one of my friends happened to work with her and her attitude is wat got her fired. she was basically HR's nightmare and they had enough of the complaints and abuse. her attitude and actions r probably y she cant keep a job or find a boyfriend. i was honestly hoping that if i ever talked to her again shed apologize and wed b friends but she didnt change at all.

She remembers. A bully never forgets the people they made miserable. Even if they did change to become a better person and are now remorseful about their past, they remember. The biggest thing is that the bully has to apologize and attempt to make amends.

The bully is clearly a terrible person. The brother is clearly disloyal and appears to be a (rather transparent) liar. But is nobody going to call out the OP’s parents? “ My parents remember Annika and they're mostly on my side because they witnessed firsthand how bad it was (Carter was already in college at that point). But they're still pressuring me to apologize to keep the peace.” Yeah, your life was made hell. But you should suck it up. Nobody has your back here, OP. And that sucks.

Something for your brother and family to think about. Would she make a loving and caring wife and/or mother? Is she going to be psychologically abusive to your brother and any possible children?She will probably manipulate your brother into alienating all family members and break him down psychologically.

Having been bullied myself as a youngster, I would never start a relationship with someone who bullied my sibling. Just wouldn't happen. Also, this story is exactly the plot of "You Again".

Bad creative writing attempt. Not real at all. "Hey family I'm engaged! I'm getting married!" Family: "No follow up questions. I guess we will meet her and learn her name at the upcoming party."

annika is still on a mission to make OP's life hellish... taking down her brother now, next her entire family... dont know what op has done to annika.... scary!

The axe forgets but the tree remembers. It's not up to the perpetrator to decide what's in the past, what's forgiven and what's NOT

I believe Bully doesn't remember most of what she did because it wasn't important enough to her. But everything stays crystal clear in the mind of the Bullied. People always remember pain. But causing pain to someone who they deem insignificant enough to bully and not take responsibility for it immediately upon dating her older brother, yeah, her memory is spotty because what she did was no big deal. Her "apology" is probably going to be "Why couldn't you take a joke?" Eff this bish.

This is the plot to the movie "You Again" isn't it?

The only way Annika would not remember bullying the OP is if Annika was actually bullying many ppl and OP was insignificant. That means she's either lying, was completely evil in HS, or repressing it all.

NTA!!!!!

BULLSHİT she can't remember!! What kind of terrible head injury did Annika suffer that would cause such incredibly convenient amnesia??

ETA. Brother, for hiding her and blindsiding OP. (And blindsiding his fiancée too)! He knew it wasn’t going to go down well! He’s accusing OP of High School behaviour when he did this? Pot, Kettle!!! Fiancée. If she and OP used to be tight, then it changed… plus them both ignoring the other. She remembers. And she is lying to the OP’s brother and family. RED FLAG! Listen up brother, she is likely still a bully and a narcissist who is tricking you into thinking she is your perfect woman (for her own reasons.) OP. Should have been more honest with brother. Should have confronted fiancée privately and cleared the air (even if that means sucking it up after the fact and accepting brothers choice of fiancée.). Bullying can be a miserable experience, yes. But high school can exaggerate things. Pettiness and hormones can skew things to be a Very Big Deal. All in all it is all sounding (still) like they haven’t grown up or matured and marriage is currently a bad idea!

NTA. Talk about selective memory! The b!tch totally remembers bullying OP. It's sad that 1) OP'S brother is thinking with his co@k, and 2) the family is encouraging this situation ("apologize to keep the peace "? WTAF?!) Everyone else is SO excited about the brother getting married that they don't care about the history involved, and what impact it has on OP. She was right in calling out her bully, and her brother's obvious indifference. In her place, I would have nothing to do with her brother and fiancé, the wedding, and anyone who keeps insisting that OP should "let bygones be bygones," apologize, and carry on as if the bullying never happened. OP needs to distance herself from this emotional maelstrom as much as possible. In time, her parents will realize what dismissing her feelings will cost them. They may have gained a daughter-in-law, but a pitiful one, at that. At the same time, they will have lost their own daughter. Pretty poor trade-off, if you ask me.

ESH, but I am on OP's side. I get it that Annika might not remember the bullying. Maybe she's moved on and become a better person since then. However.....to OP's family. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. OP remembers the bullying and her brother remembers it to. So, maybe Annika needs to be hypnotized so that she can go back in her memories and be forced to recall what she said about her future husband's sister in the past and make a heartfelt apology for ALL of it.

BTA, you fo mot iwe ger an apology, as for your parents saying you should apologize to keep the peace, hell. No that trash needs to stop...Annika remembers full well what she did, she just doesn't want to be held accountable. Your parents and your brother and his trash girlfriend all suck....

In other news this reminds me of the Aikens dude who drugged me with GHB a week and a half ago abd sexually assaulted me abd then made the midstake of thinking I wouldnt remember that I fell unconscious and didnt undress myself or remove my tampon and place it in my top dresser drawer and then close the drawer just like I didnt remove the comforter from underneath me and then cover my entire body face head and feet with it like a sheet over a dead body. Was that what yall couldnt remember because I damn sure remember him calling someone to make sure he brought the right bottle over to set me up and then sexually assault me. All those cluster headaches, tension headaches & sinus headaches placed themselves on the chopping block guillotine. Those heads will all roll because H. Aikens thought a sneak attack was a wise decision against photographic memories. But a picture is worth a thousand words....Remember that?

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Dont you love how guillotine says guilty right there within it so you know exactly what chopping block to point to when you move one little H to the middle and then theres a guilty cockblock casting couch and I simply mention, dont be a d**k.

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Yeah. You were being petty. An selfish, laying it all out on a night that wasn't about you...