Some people will go to any length to design the perfect wedding. They have a concept for every little detail, from decorations to music, venues, and clothing. But the one thing most weddings also have are other people. And they generally can’t be molded and modified as easily as, say, a cake or bouquet.

However, this inconvenient fact isn’t quite enough to stop a certain kind of person. One internet user shared her story with a bride-to-be, her future sister-in-law, who had her own concept for her ideal wedding. Unfortunately for most people involved, this concept envisioned all the bridesmaids getting identical tattoos before the ceremony.

Even the most massive, overplanned weddings don’t tend to involve permanent alterations to the guest’s bodies

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

A woman shared her story about helping with her brother’s wedding

Her SIL-to-be really wanted to go all out for the occasion

Image credits: Katelyn MacMillan (not the actual photo)

So she offered to help but ended up slightly overwhelmed by responsibilities in her own life

Image credits: Ibrahim Boran (not the actual photo)

So she was somewhat out of the loop when she met the other bridesmaids at a tattoo parlor

Image credits: Allef Vinicius (not the actual photo)

Faced with getting a tattoo, she chose to back out

Image credits: Álvaro CvG (not the actual photo)

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In the end, it seems she wasn’t the only one who had some doubts

Image credits: Chris Dickens (not the actual photo)

Image credits: CoralMansion

People in less stable relationships sometimes believe a perfect wedding will save it

We reached out to the team at Lisa Pleasent events to ask some questions about wedding planning expectations. We wanted to know how often a couple had to be talked down from completely unrealistic ideas. “Surprisingly, not very often. Most of our couples are pretty level-headed. Yes, there are some who demand more than humanly possible or who expect more than what our services offer, but for the most part, we have been lucky. The most common thing that we see is a couple who has a Champagne taste with a beer budget. Instead of focusing on the design aspects, we typically start out with building a “shell” of the event, meaning going through vendor details and what they cost, building a budget, and then reaching out for pricing. Looking at our working budget, they can see realistically how much they truly want to spend on design and decor. Sometimes it’s shocking how quickly that line gets eaten up, but at least then we are on a realistic plain when diving into those meetings.”

They also gave some advice to anyone currently in the process of planning and organizing a wedding. “Trusting that vendors truly care about their clients is key to the success of the whole planning process. Our industry is full of very genuine people who always go way above and beyond to make things happen, whether they are up front or behind the scenes, or even recognized. Listening to suggestions on how to have the perfect day is always best!”

The stress of wedding planning can often overshadow the pressure of getting married. While making an event is by no means easy, it’s important to remember that, mentally, getting married can also be a stressful idea. Despite divorce rates steadily increasing, most still prefer to think of marriage as a permanent institution. So any lingering questions about the strength of the relationship will compound the stress of planning a wedding. Research on newlyweds and brides-to-be shows that individuals with higher expectations of the ceremony also indicated lower satisfaction in their relationship.

As cliche as it sounds, these people might be trying to compensate through the idea that, if the ceremony is perfect, it might somehow fix their interpersonal relationship. Alternatively, they feel self-conscious and think everyone is secretly judging the relationship. So to have a ‘sub-par’ wedding would, in their eyes, tell the world they aren’t serious about the relationship. All of this just goes to show that a person should be able to find some joy by themselves before they commit to marriage.

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There are alternatives to permanent tattoos, with some risks

Now, the compulsion to make the bridesmaids all get tattoos is veering into creepy and controlling. In some cultures, less permanent tattoos are made using a material called mehndi paste. These are traditionally applied to the bride and groom before the ceremony in places like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Afghanistan. Both recipients will have complex patterns ‘painted’ on their skin, though it will last roughly two to three days. It can also be cleaned off faster using moisturizers and skin oils.

While these mehndi or henna tattoos are temporary, people should still be advised of some potential risks. The FDA has found that certain types of traditional henna possess PPD which can irritate the skin and leave red marks long after the dye fades. Some might also be allergic to it and have very negative reactions. But all in all, a proper ink tattoo will be longer lasting than any of these alternatives, making the SIL’s demands seem even more ludicrous. Most people struggle to decide on a tattoo just for themselves, so it’s doubtful that anyone actually wants a permanent tattoo depicting the marriage of a friend.

The comments were full of people voicing their shock at the bride and some wanted more details from OP

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