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“[Am I The Jerk] For Humiliating My Sister’s Fiancé At A Family Gathering After What He Did To Her?”
Have you ever seen a guy propose to his girlfriend in a movie or TV show – and then laughingly declare that it was just a prank? It may seem funny when it happens to actors on screen, but in real life, it’s much less amusing. And even more so when it happens to you or one of your relatives.
For example, the user u/MiaDawnx has a sister who was recently pranked by her boyfriend with a fake proposal – and although the woman decided not to make a fuss about the situation, her sibling decided that they would not let it go. And here’s what came of it.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post has a sister who recently fell victim to her own boyfriend’s harsh prank
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The guy proposed to her in front of his friends – but then claimed it was just a joke
Image credits: MiaDawnx
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He apologized to her later, but, as the author says, it wasn’t sincere
Image credits: MiaDawnx
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Later, at the family gathering, they all met at the table – and the guy went on being ironic over this
Image credits: MiaDawnx
The author called him out and exposed his fake proposal to all of her relatives – which ashamed him and mortified her sis
The original poster (OP) says they have a 28-year-old sister who has been dating her 32-year-old boyfriend for three years. Recently, in front of his friends, he proposed to her – and then laughingly declared that it was actually nothing but a prank and that, of course, he wasn’t serious. He later apologized, but it all seemed extremely insincere.
The sister decided not to leave him because of this situation, although she felt humiliated. However, when, sometime later, they all met at a family gathering, the OP decided to stand up for their sister’s honor. Especially when the guy, answering one of the relatives’ questions about when they would get married, ironically stated something like, “We’ll have to wait a little longer, won’t we?”
The author saw red. They asked the man if he was referring to that humiliating scene with his fake proposal in front of all of his friends. And if so, did he want to laugh about it again? The whole table was dead silent, and then, when the guy mumbled something about it being just a joke, the OP’s father told him directly that it was not a joke but cruel. Soon after, the ashamed boyfriend left.
And guess who now blames the original poster the most? That’s right, her own sis, who claims that by doing so, the sibling “ruined everything” for her and that they only made it worse. However, the author is pretty sure they did the right thing, and their parents are also backing them up. So, the OP decided to ask netizens’ opinions about the situation.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Interestingly, a few years ago, there was a whole trend of fake proposals on TikTok, and the women who fell victim to these pranks were, to put it mildly, not thrilled with the situation. The New York Post reported on this – and, despite the fact that some of the videos got several million views, the girlfriends of those bloggers called it ‘a beige flag’ – as it was told to the Independent.
It’s quite possible that the boyfriend in our tale was also “inspired” by the example of those bloggers – but it’s also quite obvious that the situation went awry. And, for some reason, it seems that even if the couple’s relationship is completely destroyed after this scandal, the OP’s sister probably dodged a bullet with this dude. In the end, it’s not even beige – it’s a red flag.
People in the comments also think that this is a red flag and that after the fake proposal prank, the author’s sister should have broken up with that man. According to the responders, he just has a twisted sense of humor – to put it mildly – and such situations are completely unacceptable. Moreover, further jokes about things that are obviously hurtful to her were even more inappropriate.
However, other commenters also noted that if the original poster’s sister still wanted to be with this man, then there’s really not much they can do here. The author agreed, noting that it’s her own life – but believed that standing up for their sibling was simply necessary. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this position?
Most commenters praised the author for standing up for the sister but also said that if she still wants to be with the guy, the situation wouldn’t change anything
Poll Question
How do you perceive the sister's reaction to the prank proposal?
She should have been more upset with him
She reacted reasonably by staying with him
She should have left him immediately
She was too forgiving
What do you think ?
Serena Myers 2 days ago
Pranks that upset, humiliate, injure others, are not pranks, they are bullying.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 day ago (edited)
Public humiliation is a good indicator of an abu sive relationship. That she didn't make a bigger deal of it even though she's heartbroken supports this. It's good that the family has the sister's back, but that wasn't the best way to handle it. If you humiliate her it both normalises what he did and can be used by him later as proof against the family, to isolate her. See they never like d me, or they don't understand us, or I realised my mistake but your sister won't let it go/insists on embarrassing you etc. She needs support and frank discussion but not something that can be skewed as an attack.
Secret Squirrel 1 day ago
Top 5 predictors, in case anyone needs a review: Bullying and constant pushing boundaries Can't be corrected in public, can never be wrong Rigid gender/racial roles, and anyone who doesn't meet them is met with derision Really fast moving relationship, especially if there's relocation Playing the martyr or victim to focus attention either away from their bad behaviour or just to keep the spotlight Any one is cause to take a closer look, but the prediction is stronger the more boxes they tick. Abuse is often a slow burn so good news there's often time to help, bad news you have to pay attention.
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Serena Myers 2 days ago
Pranks that upset, humiliate, injure others, are not pranks, they are bullying.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 day ago (edited)
Public humiliation is a good indicator of an abu sive relationship. That she didn't make a bigger deal of it even though she's heartbroken supports this. It's good that the family has the sister's back, but that wasn't the best way to handle it. If you humiliate her it both normalises what he did and can be used by him later as proof against the family, to isolate her. See they never like d me, or they don't understand us, or I realised my mistake but your sister won't let it go/insists on embarrassing you etc. She needs support and frank discussion but not something that can be skewed as an attack.
Secret Squirrel 1 day ago
Top 5 predictors, in case anyone needs a review: Bullying and constant pushing boundaries Can't be corrected in public, can never be wrong Rigid gender/racial roles, and anyone who doesn't meet them is met with derision Really fast moving relationship, especially if there's relocation Playing the martyr or victim to focus attention either away from their bad behaviour or just to keep the spotlight Any one is cause to take a closer look, but the prediction is stronger the more boxes they tick. Abuse is often a slow burn so good news there's often time to help, bad news you have to pay attention.
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