“AITAH For Serving My Wife Less Food Than Me And Our Guests?”
Interview With ExpertWe all have our quirks when it comes to food. My partner, for example, absolutely hates tomatoes and onions and avoids them at all costs. He will, however, dip his french fries into ketchup. I, on the other hand, am not picky at all and will eat basically anything, as long as it’s plant-based. But I’ve never been a fan of ketchup and always skip it, despite the fact that I love tomatoes.
As peculiar as someone’s food preferences may be, as long as they’re eating a healthy diet and getting enough calories, it’s important not to judge loved ones for their quirks. That’s why one man has accepted that serving his wife a small first portion of food is the best way to go. But when his sister-in-law noticed this, she decided to stir up some drama. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man recently posted on Reddit, as well as a conversation between Bored Panda and Nataly Georgieva, Registered Dietitian at JM Nutrition in Toronto.
This man’s wife has a very specific way that she likes to eat meals
Image credits: Alexy Almond (Not the actual photo)
But when her sister noticed that she was served a small portion, she immediately jumped to conclusions
Image credits: mstandret (Not the actual photo)
Image credits: Acceptable-Split-428
Later, the man clarified how his wife feels about starting with a small portion
We all have preferences when it comes to eating
Eating should be one of the simplest things that we do as humans. We all need fuel to survive, so we’re required to eat a few times a day. But depending on your culture, your budget, your personality, your health and more, those meals could be as simple as peanut butter slapped between two slices of bread or as complex as a 6 course meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant.
If you’ve ever lived with a roommate or partner, you’ve likely noticed early on how different people’s eating habits can be. Personally, I’m someone who needs breakfast as soon as possible after waking up and getting ready for the day, but I can wait 3-4 hours before having my first coffee. My partner, on the other hand, needs coffee STAT, while an early breakfast is less of a priority for him. And many of us have our own preferences when it comes to the specific diets we eat as well.
According to a survey from Food Insight, 52% of participants reported following a specific diet or eating pattern. Among these diets, the most popular were clean eating, mindful eating and calorie counting. And when it comes to those following a vegetarian diet, CEOWorld Magazine reports that about 18% of people around the world don’t eat meat. Meanwhile, a third of Americans are trying to limit their gluten intake.
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes (Not the actual photo)
“There are many factors that can influence a person’s habits or food rules”
But is it healthy to have some preferences and habits when it comes to eating? Or have we severely complicated the simple topic of food? To gain more insight into this topic, we reached out to Nataly Georgieva, Registered Dietitian at JM Nutrition in Toronto. Nataly was kind enough to have a chat with us and discuss whether or not it’s normal to have eating habits like this.
“While some folks may describe themselves as picky eaters or have various quirks when it comes to eating, others may use picky eating as a disguise in order to justify restriction or food rigidity in a way that appears more socially acceptable,” the expert told Bored Panda.
“What is important to note is when these quirks developed and how rigid they are in nature. For example, is it a long-term behavior that stems from childhood, perhaps due to a lack of exposure to certain foods? How flexible is the person when the food environment cannot be controlled, and they are unable to eat in the way that they prefer?”
We were also curious about where these food quirks come from. “There are many factors that can influence a person’s habits or food rules, including but not limited to, certain health conditions that require diet modifications, a history of trauma around food, and the environment in which one grew up in where certain behaviors may have been modeled or promoted,” Nataly says.
Image credits: Helena Lopes (Not the actual photo)
“Seeing a Registered Dietitian who specializes in disordered eating and picky eating can help to expand a person’s food variety and dismantle potentially harmful food beliefs and behaviors”
“Additional factors include a history of dieting, religious or cultural beliefs, socioeconomic status, social media, and peers, to name a few. Habits are generally difficult to break and over time, may appear normalized even if it stems from disordered eating,” she explained. “Even habits that originally started off with good intentions may be at risk of morphing into disordered behaviors over time, especially for folks who have a history of dieting or restrictive eating.”
When it comes to supporting a loved one with unique eating habits, Nataly noted that acceptance can sometimes be harmful, if it means enabling restrictive behaviors. “Instead, it can be helpful to gently probe to uncover more information, such as by asking, ‘I’m curious, how and when did this behaviour develop? Is it purely a food preference, or is it a food rule? What would it be like for you to be unable to eat in this way? Does it cause stress, or is it just an inconvenience?'”
“Seeing a Registered Dietitian who specializes in disordered eating and picky eating can help to expand a person’s food variety and dismantle potentially harmful food beliefs and behaviors, with the ultimate goal being greater flexibility with food,” Nataly added.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man did anything wrong by serving his wife a small portion? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda piece discussing similar themes, look no further than right here!
Image credits: Travis Yewell (Not the actual photo)
Many readers took the husband’s side and assured him that he did nothing wrong
However, some thought that he could have handled the situation better
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Whats up with the YTA- folks? Recently they are very unhinged at every other AITA-second hand reddit.
They got nothing else to do so they take their fun at making Op-people feel bad
Load More Replies...I'm autistic, and this is exactly how I eat! Except I need to have my drink first, I'd be so happy if someone did this for me haha
Also autistic, came here to say something similar. As in, I don't eat like this, but I have similar quirks in other areas and my partner is like OP - accommodating instead of judgemental/getting me to change. This is the first time in my life I've met someone who can accept me in this way, so this post actually brought me joy.
Load More Replies...So if you are actually concerned that someine might be being abused... THE LAST THING YOU DO IS CONFRONT THE ABUSER. The harm she could have done in the case he was actually f***ed cannot be understated. If she actually cared abd was worried, as opposed to trying to start drama and be the saviour, she would have approached wife with a non judgemental statement like "are you getting enough to eat? I noticed you were still hungry after dinner, can I grab you another plate?"
This is the most important comment.*IF* he had been a controlling a*****e, ten to one after the sister left he would have blamed the wife, retaliated and just learned to cover his tracks. That is not how you save someone.
Load More Replies...Whats up with the YTA- folks? Recently they are very unhinged at every other AITA-second hand reddit.
They got nothing else to do so they take their fun at making Op-people feel bad
Load More Replies...I'm autistic, and this is exactly how I eat! Except I need to have my drink first, I'd be so happy if someone did this for me haha
Also autistic, came here to say something similar. As in, I don't eat like this, but I have similar quirks in other areas and my partner is like OP - accommodating instead of judgemental/getting me to change. This is the first time in my life I've met someone who can accept me in this way, so this post actually brought me joy.
Load More Replies...So if you are actually concerned that someine might be being abused... THE LAST THING YOU DO IS CONFRONT THE ABUSER. The harm she could have done in the case he was actually f***ed cannot be understated. If she actually cared abd was worried, as opposed to trying to start drama and be the saviour, she would have approached wife with a non judgemental statement like "are you getting enough to eat? I noticed you were still hungry after dinner, can I grab you another plate?"
This is the most important comment.*IF* he had been a controlling a*****e, ten to one after the sister left he would have blamed the wife, retaliated and just learned to cover his tracks. That is not how you save someone.
Load More Replies...
42
72