I get it that you might want to use a surrogate when you're infertile, but to use one when you can get pregnant but don't want to lose your figure? It makes me wonder: was it sister's decision alone to use a surrogate or did her hubby not want to deal with a wife with a post-pregnancy figure? If you're already so shallow as to not want to, potentially, ruin your figure, then I shudder to think what will happen if the child that becomes yours doesn't turn out the way you want. Will you, like your pregnancy, outsource it too?

The YTA and ESH comments are in insane. It is indeed her choice if she doesn't want to get pregnant, but she is beyond entitled to think that anybody else should pay for it when she does not need to go through that process. "A gift doesn't come with conditions" well it wasn't a gift. It was help, help that was fully solicited by the sister.

“Everyone who wants a child should have one.”: NO. Absolutely not. IT’S A HUMAN BEING. If only there were LAWS to prevent “everyone” from having a child (the stupid, the molesters, the murderers, the unfit, the alcoholics, the addicted, etc). I’m imagining someone on Death Row filing a suit because she wants to have a child before she goes. No, no, no, no, NO.

Definitely NTA when the reason is very shallow - "I don't want to put on weight". Then pay for your own surrogacy. And especially don't ask the person who went through it for very valid medical reasons to fund it.

This woman prioritize her figure over her family? Whoa, imagine what kind of mother she'll become. Postpartum body goal is totally manageable with diet & exercise

I'm on the fence about surrogacy. I can see infertile couples desperate to have children, and if someone is willing to bear the child for them, I suppose it's mutually agreed upon. But I am also aware of the dangers of pregnancy, you are literally risking someone else's health - possibly long term - when asking them to bear that baby. And doing that purely for vanity ala Kardashians, is horrible, IMO. So NTA on this one.

She wants to keep her figure, so she planned to let a stranger lose their figure for HER child? I don’t understand that level of selfishness, perhaps because surrogacy is illegal in my country.

Wow, I really really hope the parents of the wife will forever be ashamed of what they allowed to happen to her! May they always feel guilty and hurt at heart for what their daughter suffered.

What does "SA" mean n the context of the story?

Have a natural baby, and then pay for a tummy tuck. It's going to be cheaper.

NTA - Why on Earth did she expect you to help her financially? Some posts said you could have been more diplomatic but given the absurdity of her request & reasoning anything you did or said would be completely understandable. And about what you said to your parents: 1) they were completely out of line & 2) you were simply informing them of another "option" & at no cost, courtesy of Mother Nature.

Did the YTA even read even far enough to see that the sister said she didn't want to ruin her body? Jeez. I was a "surrogate" after I had my daughters, I had a touching moment at Christmas when I was very pregnant with my younger one and my mom's cousin's wife asked to feel the baby move. You could see feet rolling in my dress lol and of course she could feel it! I didn't know her very well but always liked her, so waddled into a different room so we could talk for a minute away from noise. I found out that she had had an iud when they were more experimental and it ruined her fertility. They are rather religious and don't believe in medical intervention like IVF. 3 adoptions fell through where the birth mom changed her mind and kept baby. Long story, in about 18 months I chose to get pregnant and give them the baby. They are wonderful parents, their daughter is now a forest ranger in Yosemite. If it had been about "ruining her figure"? Hell no. Infertility? Any day.

To the idiot that said >Anyone who wants a child should have one Ummmmm no. If they're emotionally immature, a liar, and trying to swindle family to cover costs over vanity... Then no, I dnt think he should be helping his sister Nta

As somebody who struggled with fertility, I'm genuinely stunned that she wants a surrogate just because she doesn't want to get pregnant! If she doesn't want to get pregnant, stay child free! Surrogacy creates families but usually for people who can't create a baby themselves, not for somebody who just doesn't feel like pregnancy is her thing

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If she doesn't want to get pregnant, fair enough. There are health risks, discomfort, mental trauma, etc - there are lots of reasons for any woman to want not to get pregnant, and they're valid. As his wife's case demonstrates, there doesn't have to be infertility to make surrogacy the better choice. No one else is required to pay for your choice to use a surrogate, and people willing to help you if it's a necessity may not be willing to help if it's elective. The sister needs to factor the cost into her decision, and make her choice accordingly. Withdrawing his financial support doesn't make her brother the a*****e, but verbally abusing her for her preference does. Asking for financial help with it, without specifying that it's elective rather than due to infertility, is the move of an entitled spoilt brat.

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It doesn't matter why she wants a surrogate. He may be her brother but he doesn't know her history and what she could be hiding from him by giving a tossed out answer. He is also not entitled to that history. My brother doesn't know I was repeatedly SA by my uncle and that I've been SA 2 other times and he'll never know. The maternal mortality rate is insane in the US. 3rd world countries have better maternal mortality rates. To call a woman an idiot for not wanting to traumatize her body or risk her life is absolutely despicable and even worse than an AH. **I will not defend the sister** for lying, calling in their parents to harass him, and thinking she's entitled to his money. She's a major AH for doing so. But the brother is beyond an AH, to the point of making me sick.