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30 People Who Couldn’t Make It Any More Clear That They’re Single
Interview With Expert
30 percent of U.S. adults are single. This number jumps to 51 percent if we look only at gay, lesbian, or bisexual people, and to a whopping 63 percent among 18- to 29-year-old men.
Interested in how to recognize them, Reddit user Riff_lick601 asked everyone on the platform to share what they believe to be the telltale signs of a solo lifestyle, and in just a few days, they have received over 4,500 replies.
To cut through the noise, we've sorted the most popular and interesting ones. Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the chat we had with psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo — you'll find it spread in between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I used to work in the film industry, meaning I got fed two very good meals a day + snacks. So when I went to the supermarket it was basically some cereal for the weekend, toothpaste, maybe some chocolate and a lot of beer.
I'd get to the checkout (this is in London) and a large Jamaican lady would scan my items and say.....
"tsk ohhh, you live on your own don't you?"
I'd shyly nod "yes".
"You don't have a girlfriend??? You want a girlfriend?"
Then she'd shout to the till 2 away "Sylvia! SYLVIA! you want a skinny white boyfriend?".
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#2
Incels, mostly. They never shut up about it.
I don't play golf, but I don't spend my life complaining about not playing golf, or how I'd be a really good golfer if golf only gave me a chance, or how golf is such a b***h and doesn't want me because golf doesn't know what's good for it even though I've never bothered to make the slightest effort to learn how to play golf.
Psychologist and author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, Dr. Bella DePaulo is considered to be the leading expert on single life, and she says that for a long time, singles have been viewed mostly negatively.
"Over the past decade or so, that's been changing, probably in part because of the growing number of single people," DePaulo tells Bored Panda. "When nearly half of all Americans 18 and older are not married, it is hard to make the case that there's something wrong with that many people."
DePaulo says single people are also starting to push back on the stereotyping and stigmatizing that they endure, which she calls singlism. However, that "generates backlash, and then you start to see the demeaning of single people and people who don't have children (e.g., 'childless cat ladies') and the glorifying of married people."
#3
When I need my laundry chair to game, I move everything to the laundry bed. Then bedtime comes and my laundry chair is reborn.
As you can see from the things shared in the online discussion (and probably your own friends), for some people, being single is much more difficult than for others.
"Their experiences growing up are part of the answer," DePaulo says. "If you are part of a family or culture that reveres marriage and looks down on single people, it is going to be harder. If you have never had role models in your life who stayed single and were happy and flourishing as single people, it will be harder. If you are a people-pleaser, or if you find it daunting to try to go against social norms, living single will be harder for you."
But "if you've never stayed single for long, you may have never had the chance to discover that single life is something that suits you."
#5
I'm going to be positive and say "Doing whatever you want all the time".
#6
When your trash stinks. Not because you threw something stinky in there but because as a single person you don't produce enough trash to fill and take out a bag of trash before it all rots and stinks...
As the title of her latest book suggests, DePaulo studies people who are "single at heart."
The psychologist says they are the ones who are happy and flourishing because of their status, not in spite of it. "They love their independence. They also value solitude — spending time on their own refreshes and fulfills them, it doesn't scare them."
"While people in conventional romantic relationships have 'the one,' people who are single at heart often have 'the ones' – a whole circle of friends and relatives, and other people who are important to them."
The key thing, according to DePaulo, is that single at heart find it easy to be single. "Coupled life is what would be hard for them. It would feel more constraining and inauthentic."
#7
The other side of my bed is used for keeping my water bottle, it’s where my phone sleeps, my emergency midnight bag of crisps, I take my bra off just before bed and stuff it there.
There’s no room for anyone else to sleep on that side.
If you also want to make the most out of being single, you have to approach it with the right mindset. DePaulo suggests viewing it as something that doesn't take away from your life but rather adds to it.
"Think about all that [it] has to offer you, the way people who are single at heart do," she says. "Invest in your single life. Take advantage of the opportunities your freedom offers you. Follow your interests and passions. Tend to the people who matter to you. Feel proud of yourself for not feeling like you have to be in a romantic relationship all the time."
It's about being yourself fully and not waiting for a better part to fill you up.
#9
(Straight) guys with long dirty fingernails. No woman would let those UTI daggers go anywhere near her fun bits.
Barong 2 months ago (edited)
I learned as a kid to keep my nails short and clean. My grandparents, parents, elementary school teachers, all made sure my nails were clean and short, clean, and filed. Made sure we wash our hands regularly before eating and before leaving a restroom. My son too. I don’t know which people this person has been seeing. Manners, etiquette, and hygiene go a long way. Doing little things that help other people feel more comfortable is important for getting along integrating together whether it be at work, family, or out in the general public.
#10
When I was in college, single, and broke, I went to the grocery store and they had these really...adequate frozen spicy chicken sandwiches on sale for like 25 cents a pop. I grabbed all of them.
I went to ring up, the cashier said "Wow, that's...a lot. These must be really good." I responded with "Eh, they fill the hole."
Dude scanned a couple more in silence and asked "So, you're like, really single, aren't you?"
However, the psychologist also warns to be aware of the stereotypes and dismissive comments even within these replies. Some of them, she says, are not just demeaning, but also plain wrong.
Take the one that mentions single people's supposed availability for last-minute plans, implying that they have more time than coupled people do. "Research shows that when aging parents need help, their grown single children are more likely to be providing it than their kids who are coupled. They are not always available for last-minute plans because they are doing the hard work of caring for other people."
As with every online discussion, it's great for making us think about sensitive topics but don't take everything as fact.
#12
Being able to wake up on a saturday morning, think to yourself "f**k it" and stay in bed for another half hour before you decide wether you'll be reading, gaming or going somewhere today.
#13
I have two seats in my tiny apartment. One faces the tv. The other is for the computer. They don't face each other.
Oh, also, I have one pillow on my bed.
#14
My first ever apartment after I moved out from home,
All I had was a TV, Xbox, and bed, no other furniture. My whole apartment was empty.
My fridge was full of beer and frozen foods
I'd say that's pretty bachelor.
#15
Not finishing your groceries before they go bad because they don’t get eaten fast enough.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago
You need to cook in batches and freeze. Almost everything can be frozen. Except cheese. But cheese is never gonna last so long anyway.
#16
Having 8 cats.
#17
Actively looking around at parties.
MhrisCac:
That might be the worst one, having nobody to anchor to temporarily at a party is the worst feeling. Feeling like you’re a random free floater desperately searching for somebody to connect with blows.
Barong 2 months ago
See, I stopped feeling that way. I used to be shy and introverted. The. I realized I was hurting myself and enjoyment of life by feeling lonely for no logical reason. Being a floater, an outsider, isn’t perhaps as being the center of attention at your own birthday surrounded by friends cool, but with a bunch of new faces two things can happen. One, you make some new acquaintances which is the most likely, or less likely, you make attempts to get to know people where everything feels awkward and no one seems interested in talking but that’s ok, because you probably won't ever have to see any or most of them again. I stopped worrying and just go and talked to people. Most people don’t mind and if they do, it’s on them. Hopefully I make their day brighter because theirs a good chance they made mine.
#18
I got teased for this at work recently, but “ordering a sh*t ton of takeout for Friday lunch so you don’t have to cook over the weekend.”.
#19
When the price of rent makes you physically sick to your stomach because all the places are priced for two.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago (edited)
THIS. When the average rent is equal or higher than the average salary (looking at you, Spain), you realise single people or single parents aren't considered part of society. Honestly, f**k that.
#20
Not being invited to stuff because everyone else is going with their SOs.
Real_Sir_3655:
Or being invited anyway but hanging out with kids or grandmas instead.
Barong 2 months ago
Hang out with the dogs. Or just invite someone even if they are a platonic friend. I used to hang out with four friends who were two couples (sounds awkward) and often I invited a friends and one friend, well, she became a regular sixth friend in the group. We were always platonic and our group got along fine until we at various times started moving away
#21
I bought one of those “DiGiorno Pizza - for one” personal pizzas at Walmart and the cashier said “Fun night?” as she rung it up.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago
I'm so glad we don't have cashiers commenting on your groceries here.
#22
Going to the gym by yourself in the evening on Valentines Day.
TotallyNOTAFox 2 months ago (edited)
Or buying butt loads of chocolate for 50% off the next day
#23
The lawn chairs in my living room.
Colleen Glim 2 months ago
Housing is expensive. You gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe add a sturdy cardboard box for someplace to set a coffee cup/wine glass
#24
Always available for last-minute plans: No need to check in with anyone, so you're always down for spontaneous hangouts.
Colleen Glim 2 months ago
No, no, no, no, and did I mention no? I don’t do plans. Spontaneous or otherwise. Because people
#25
Me eating lasagna straight from the pan.
Multa Nocte 2 months ago
Nah, my spouse and I do that all the time. We have absolutely no shame.
#26
Having "The Deal" with your opposite sex bestie that you'll marry each other when you turn 30 if neither of you are already married.
#27
Posting those motivational comics or drawings to Facebook that more or less say something like "the right one will come along eventually, just be patient and stay true to yourself. You deserve to be loved" and what not.
Never seen someone in a relationship, or a healthy one I guess, post anything like that.
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago
😂 kinda true, every time l see one l know they're desperately single. BUT staying true to yourself seems good advice.
#28
Asking the veggie vendor at the market whether I can split that bunch of veggies in half because I can't finish it all.
Tempest 2 months ago (edited)
One old lady (vendor at the market) once chased me off when I tried to buy a quantity (can’t remember of what it was) so small that she couldn’t even weigh it on the scale. That was embarrassing… And the constant need to split the veggies in half or, when they refuse to, end up having to eat just that veggie everyday for a week or more.
#29
Receiving the "Microwave Cooking for One" cookbook as a Christmas present.
Colleen Glim 2 months ago
I would love this! I’m now down to one child at home who is working all the time and I have no clue how to cook for just me
#30
Body pillows.
What do you think ?
Annabelle 2 months ago
and people in relationships who prefer to live separately, or otherwise just be themselves either way. 😊
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KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
It took me a very long time to realise that while I have had some awesome sex, I don't actually like it all that much. This is not them or me doing something wrong, I just genuinely can't be bothered with it.
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Annabelle 2 months ago
and people in relationships who prefer to live separately, or otherwise just be themselves either way. 😊
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
It took me a very long time to realise that while I have had some awesome sex, I don't actually like it all that much. This is not them or me doing something wrong, I just genuinely can't be bothered with it.
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