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Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices I do regret - but if I had children with any of my previous partners, I’m sure I’d regret that more.

raqloooose , Marisa Howenstine Report

Final score:

118points

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Alexia 8 months ago

I feel you.

15points

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 50M and no.

My mental health fluctuations would not have provided a good and healthy home for kids to grow up in. It's not that I wouldn't have loved them, in fact that's more the why I didn't, because I respect these people that don't exist because of this choice enough to not pass on my problems. It was a decision I came to, probably in my early 20s.and even when times have been good, and I have been stable, I have never regretted the decision.

Mal-a-Propism , Krists Luhaers Report

Final score:

112points

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Alexia 8 months ago

Same here. Growing up in a toxic, abusive family gives you emotional and mental health issues. Unless you understand and address them, you'll take them out on your spouse and child - like my parents did with me. Nobody deserves that.

36points

To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to author and blogger Sue Fagalde Lick. Sue is the creator of the Childless by Marriage blog and author of several books including Childless by Marriage, Love or Children: When You Can't Have Both, and No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer's, which comes out this June. Sue was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about her experience being childless and when she realized that kids weren't in the cards for her.

"I grew up assuming that I would have children. All of the women around me were mothers. I mothered my many dolls and my big black cat," she shared. "Before my first husband and I were married, we signed forms at church saying we would welcome children and raise them in the Catholic faith."

"During our six-year marriage, I spent a lot of time knitting and crocheting baby things and fantasizing about being pregnant. My husband was in no hurry to have children," Sue continued. "Not yet, he kept saying. By the time I realized he didn’t ever want kids, the marriage was broken. He married twice after me and didn’t have children with those wives either."

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices Almost 40 female. Never regretted. Sitting here on the Red Sea on a deck chair, sipping a cocktail. Scrolling reddit at 1pm on a Wednesday. I was also a live in Nanny for 8 years to other peoples kids, so it's not like I don't know what it's like.

capricabuffy , Efrem Efre Report

Final score:

95points

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Cathy 8 months ago

This one and the travel one! It is also a good choice if you have a nice partner and stable mental health bit just don't really feel like having children.

12points

bgufo , Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 Report

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 41 male here, no I do not regret anything. My mental health is balanced thanks to me being a "hermit" for 13 years now

Final score:

85points

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Canandelabra 8 months ago

I'm about to lose everything. Literally. Hermithood would have been the only way I could have gotten better if things had gone different. Kudos op!

10points

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 45M. Not married but not single. No kids wanted or had, no regrets.

You realize not being married nor having children doesn't mean someone doesn't have a family, yeah? What does one call one's parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.? It also ignores people's "family of choice," i.e. longtime friends who are often closer than family.

W-S_Wannabe , Kelsey Chance Report

Final score:

85points

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LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago

I have a family. It's my boyfriend of 23 years and our four pets. XD

45points

ashleymeloncholy , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

"When I remarried in my early 30s, I thought I might still have children, but my second husband, who was 14 years older than I was, already had two sons and a daughter from his first marriage and didn’t want any more," Sue shared. "He had had a vasectomy after his youngest son was born."

"I should have known then that it was never going to happen for me, but I spent years hoping for a miracle that didn’t happen. I was in my 40s when the truth finally sank in," she continued. "I hoped that my stepchildren would fill the gap, but we never formed a close bond. When my husband was 65, he developed Alzheimer’s Disease. He died at 73, leaving me a widow at age 59. I have been single and living alone since 2011."

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices I regret not having enough money to have the choice.

Final score:

74points

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BlueCat 8 months ago

This isn't talked about nearly as much as it should. At 40, I wasn't anywhere near a place where I could provide for a child and myself, so that became the end of my reproductive cycle. I apologized to my folks (to which they were more than understanding) that it just wasn't going to happen for me. Shame should never be placed on ANY individual who makes a concious decision to not have children for financial reasons. I work in education, I've done my part to help raise yours.

76points

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices As a guy nearing his 40s: id love to have a family, but my genetics are so broken that it would be unresponsible to pass them on to any children

AverageFishEye , Jamie Street Report

Final score:

68points

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Georgie Montague 8 months ago

Good to break the cycle. But sad that you didn't get that fulfillment you would have liked.

18points

Annabelle 8 months ago

May I borrow the dog from the picture.

3points

SadieCat17 (she/her) 8 months ago

It's unethical to deny someone the right to have children based on genes because we call that eugenics, but it's also your personal responsibility to decide if you *should* have kids. Frankly, my parents should not have reproduced. I got the worst from both sides of the family health wise (mental and physical) and it's pretty miserable tbh. I don't want to die or anything but I also think it was very irresponsible of them to have a child for the very sake of continuing the genetic line when they knew from the start how many horrible genetic indications they had. My many many medical bills were payback lol.

2points

Kathy 4 months ago

There is always the option of fostering or adoption. :)

0points

ῳıƖƖơῳ 5 months ago

maybe adopting a baby or adopting a fur baby

0points

Craig Reynolds 5 months ago

If you knew my father and my childhood (imagine being a boy raised only by your mom and two older sisters because dad could be bothered to teach anything a son needed to know) you would understand my choice to never have children. Imagine being that kid in school who knew nothing about any kind of sports (gym class sk'd big time) and no interest.

0points

Cassie 8 months ago

I regret having kids for this reason. We found out when my youngest was 13 that the problems plaguing us all was a chronic genetic condition they now have to live with for the rest of their lives. I feel badly for having done that to them and I'm pretty certain I would have chosen not to have kids had I realized sooner.

0points

Panda Kicki 8 months ago

With donation you still have possibility, parenthood isnt in the genes, it is in the bonding.

0points

rullyman 8 months ago

It takes a lot of strength to make that decision and recognise that your desire for children should not come before minimising suffering. I wish you could have a family though, and I hope you find a way to make it happen.

0points

crousleystephens 8 months ago

Had a close friend say something similar. When he was 24 he got a vasectomy because he had frequent debilitating panic attacks, social anxiety, grief issues surrounding finding his father deceased, and an inability to stand on his own without his mother's complete control. He didn't feel like a capable adult most times and didn't want to be responsible for another person feeling misplaced and unprepared for life. It's incredibly sad when a person chooses not to make the family they've always deserved out of fear that

0points

MP 8 months ago

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Auferstehen78 , Sam Moghadam Khamseh Report

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices First marriage was when I was 18 to an abusive friend of my stepfather. That lasted 5 years.

Second marriage was 10 years to a mentally and financially abusive guy.

Had a boyfriend for 6 years, broke up because I was tired of being his mother.

I am 45 and single, it's been 3 years since the breakup and I do not miss being in relationships.

Never had kids and I am thankful I made that decision otherwise I would be tied to people that I would rather not be.

Final score:

64points

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nomnomborkbork 8 months ago (edited)

Having kids with bad partners is the worst. For multiple reasons.

18points

Although Sue didn't choose to be childless, she can still acknowledge some of the upsides of not having kids. "Freedom is the big one. No babysitters, no working around a school schedule, no being interrupted every five minutes by a child needing attention," she noted. "During the years we might have spent raising children, we are free to work, travel, and pursue our dreams. We don’t have to wait until the kids are grown to do things for ourselves. We have more choice about how to use our money, too."

#10

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices Nope, i prefer my lifestyle of travelling. Too much stress dealing with a family. Bad enough with my parents who are getting old.

ginalook , Simon English Report

Final score:

61points

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Little Wonder 8 months ago

Amen. I'm caring for my parents at the moment and if I was doing that WITH children as well I'd have melted into a pile of gloop already from the stress. Hugely impressed by those who can do both, I know I couldn't.

15points

Status-Photograph608 , Eduardo Soares Report

#11

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices Nope. I have an average income and still barely make it until the next month's pay.

I can't imagine how anyone can have a family and kids without being very wealthy.

I mean, my kids wouldn't starve, but I wouldn't be able to buy them everything they want and give them a top tier life. So, I feel it's better this way.

Final score:

57points

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ShyWahine 8 months ago

My sentiments exactly...

13points

#12

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 47M, no regrets not having children, considering the state of the planet, along with the increasing cost of living.

In fact I personally believe that if I cannot provide an equal or better standard of living to any hypothetical child of mine than what I enjoyed as a child it would be incredibly selfish and abusive to said child.

asmodraxus , Hermes Rivera Report

Final score:

56points

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Ana 8 months ago

Well said! I think we should be lauded for choosing to break the cycle of poverty in our family systems and not made to feel like failures for choosing a different path.

19points

While many people choose to be childfree and are happy with that choice, there are also many people who did want to have families. So we were curious what Sue wishes parents understood about what it's like to be childless. "So many people don’t understand that it really is not by choice. Not directly anyway. I am childless because the men I married wouldn’t or couldn’t give me children. The man I dated between marriages would have gladly gotten me pregnant, but he was abusive, and my life with him would have been horrible."

#13

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices F58. Would have loved to have gotten married but never wanted children and don't regret not having had any.

MaidenMarewa , Annie Spratt Report

Final score:

55points

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Alexia 8 months ago

I would have loved to get married, but... somehow, all my former partners were identical copies of my father: abusive, violent, misogynistic. Thanks, but no thanks.

19points

#14

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices Female and over 40. I tried getting pregnant with 3 different men and none of them was able to impregnate me.

2 of those men fathered kids in previous relationship.

So I think the problem is me.

I was depressed in my late thirties about never having kids.

But now seeing my siblings with children actually made me super glad I didn't have them.

I am not envying their life right now and it's much nicer to be auntie.

condemned02 , Aditya Romansa Report

Final score:

54points

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Shark Lady 8 months ago

Someone I knew once said "I like children how I like dogs - the ones I can give back to their parents at the end of the day" she never wanted her own children but is a great aunt.

16points

fire_breathing_bear Report

#15

No. I deal with depression and I have a lot of difficulty reading people.

My fear was that I’d pass whatever genes cause depression on to my children and / or I’d have a really hard time reading my kids and either be too strict or too naive to raise them.

Had a vasectomy at 26. Was a pain (wanted to say, “a pain the in the a*s” but thought better of it) because no doctor would agree to it. Started looking at 24 and couldn’t even get a referral from my PCP to a urologist.

Eventually went to planned parenthood and they agreed to do it. But they didn’t accept my insurance. So, went back to my PCP and told him to make a referral or I’d go to Planned Parenthood and have them do it.

He made the referral and the urologist said he’d do it but he made me go through three months of counseling beforehand.

While I won’t pretend to fully understand the struggles women have with reproductive health, I do kind of get it. If someone says, “I shouldn’t have children.” for God’s sake, believe them.

As a side note - I’m 50. I’ve only dated one girl who felt my vasectomy was a deal breaker. Every other girl was literally relieved and happy that we wouldn’t need to use birth control - though I am always insistent we get STD panels before we sleep together.

Final score:

45points

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Moë 8 months ago

That's BS you should be able to do whatever you want to your body whenever you want to! I get so mad when I hear about docs refusing to do tubal ligation or now a vasectomy who do they think they are?

22points

Trick_Boysenberry495 , Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 Report

“'You did this to yourself,' my sister-in-law told me once," Sue shared. "Her whole life is wrapped around her children and grandchildren. 'Stay away from Aunt Sue. She doesn’t do kids,' she told her daughter’s children. Wrong. I love children. Don’t shut us out because we’re not moms and dads."

"Parents don’t understand that we didn’t choose this, that it hurts like hell, that we are not anti-kid, and that we’re not weird or crazy because we’re not parents," she continued. "I wish they understood that we grieve the loss and are ever conscious of what we’re missing."

#16

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 35F- not quite there at 40+, but I think I'm close enough. I've been single for over 10 years now, so I don't see that changing.

I would've loved to have been married and had kids. I think it's too late for me to have kids now... I don't see myself getting married, either. It would've been nice... it wasn't my choice- I was just never... anyone's choice. So, there's nothing to regret, cause it wasn't my decision- but I still feel like I've missed out on something special.

I would've made a good wife, I think.

Final score:

41points

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Fish Face 8 months ago

I think you also have to always be open to it if it's what you want. I was feeling the same as this woman at 34. At 35 I met my now husband on a random dare from a friend. (Long story) I had my daughter (also a surprise) at 38. Not looking, but surprises happen if you are open to life's unexpected highlights.

33points

Plastic_Bullfrog9029 , christopher lemercier Report

#17

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 53m. Regret it every day.

Final score:

38points

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Georgie Montague 8 months ago

That's sad.

22points

#18

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices I’m a 42 year old female with no husband or kids. The only reason I regret not having kids is because I don’t feel connected to my friends or community. I’m pretty introverted so that makes me feel isolated. Other people’s reasons for having kids seem selfish to me. I don’t need kids so someone can take care of me when I’m old or because that’s what I’m suppose to do. I love kids but I can’t imagine them in my life every.single.day. Traveling the world and loving my pets is fulfilling enough.

jessica4994 , Marissa Price Report

Final score:

38points

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Little Wonder 8 months ago

There's a huge community aspect once you're in your 40s. Around here (I can't speak for everywhere) the community house/library/community hubs do masses of things for children and parents, and masses of things for people over 60, so those of us without the kids and not yet in our 60s are sort of bouncing around.

14points

Sue also shared what she would like people to understand before deciding whether or not to have children. "Yes, raising children is difficult and expensive. You sacrifice a lot, but they are not children forever. Eventually they become adults you’ll be glad to have in your life," she told Bored Panda. "You should not let someone else make the decision for you. If you don’t have children, you could end up very alone in your older years. The loss doesn’t go away."

Sue also pointed out that IVF costs a fortune and frequently doesn’t work, and adoption is expensive and difficult as well. "There are no easy fixes. If you physically cannot have children, you need to grieve that loss as much as if someone you loved has died, but know that there are other things you can do with your life and you have the gift of time and freedom to pursue your dreams," Sue shared.

#19

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices I (F) turned 40 this year. Single, never been married and no kids. When I was younger I definitely envisioned having a husband and a kid or two. But I've reached a point where I definitely don't want to give birth to my own, but I have been thinking about adopting, especially an older kid. But it is a bit daunting to take on by myself. A supportive spouse would be great, but the dating world can be so frustrating.

Maybe I'll eventually adopt, maybe I won't. However I do certainly enjoy many aspects of my life with just me and my pets. I don't have to worry about a babysitter, can travel pretty easily (with or without the dogs), and I have a great group of friends, many of whom I also consider family.

Hey-Sunshine- , Steven Lewis Report

Final score:

37points

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tw 72 8 months ago

When I was younger, I assumed I would have kids. As I got older, I realized that I didn't really like kids. Glad I figured that out so I didn't actually have any.

21points

Miserable-Tadpole-90 , Providence Doucet Report

#20

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices 38F I don't regret the kids thing, I love kids, and I have 3 nieces and a nephew that I adore, but they are a handful and I can honestly not picture myself having to deal with all of that on a permanent full-time basis. Even just 1 might be too much.

As for a partner, theoretically, I would like that, someone to share the load with.
Practically, however, is a different story. Whenever most new couples start to reach the point where they get comfortable being around each other and want to spend more time together or move the relationship forward, my anxiety acts up. I get stressed out by this person constantly occupying space with me.

I mean, goddammit, just let me sit on my couch munching popcorn in peace and don't be here.

I've just figured out I'm a lot more comfortable on my own, and I will probably stay that way.

Final score:

35points

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Nad.nad 8 months ago

This.

12points

#21

44 F and absolutely zero regrets. All my friends with partners and kids start all their conversations with I love my family but… then go on to say how lucky I am. I have a very fulfilling job. Love my friends and get to be the fun at to all their kids. I have such a peaceful and stress free life. Not one of my friends makes me feel jealous or makes me want what they have even if their partners are amazing and great providers. I love having freedom to do what I want when I want it. I love not having to stress about others and their choices. I love the quiet and when I want the chaos I can choose it at my own discretions.

dozerdaze Report

Final score:

34points

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Isaac Harvey 8 months ago

I prefer expected, controlled chaos over unforeseeable/unforeseen chaos.

2points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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"I am childless by marriage. As far as I know, I had no fertility problems," Sue noted. "There are more people like me than you would think. In a society with so many divorces and remarriages, the second wife or husband may lose their chance because their partner has already raised children and doesn’t want to start over."

"Also, these days, many young couples find they just can’t afford to have children. Overwhelmed with student loan debt and a huge cost of living, they can’t even buy a house; how can they raise kids and pay for everything they need? They may delay childbearing until it’s too late," she added. "Childlessness comes in many forms, and there are more of us all the time. Strangers need to stop opening conversations with, 'How many kids do you have?'"

#22

55 male. Never married no kids
Honesty I wish I would have found someone but it never happened. I spent my early 20’s in the military and it seems that is when most get married. Don’t even look or try anymore.
About 3 years ago my mother passed away and my brother a few months later.
I got hit with this I am alone in this world feeling. It is not pleasant especially during the holidays.
So yea I got regrets.

Ilovefishingandweed Report

Final score:

31points

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nomnomborkbork 8 months ago

Don't give up. After two failed marriages, and then single for 20 years, I met the love of my life at age 63.

23points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#23

Modern life is brutal. We sign away the best time of our lives just to scrape by until we retire and hopefully have something left to make it till the end. I’m not going to put another soul through that.

somander Report

Final score:

28points

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brittany 8 months ago

agreed. i work 2 jobs ust to make ends meet. theres nothing for savings or retirement, theres medical bills piling up and one health issue after the other, if i live to the current retirement age, i wont be able to stop working. no one should have to face tha as their future

5points

#24

My dad used to say I wouldn’t take $1 billion for one of my children but I wouldn’t pay $.50 to have another one

Debbie_Gaines Report

Final score:

26points

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Auntriarch 8 months ago

About sums it up

3points

DoubleSynchronicity Report

#25

There's a lot of my life that I don't love, but I really love being single and not having any depends. That freedom is awesome.

flotsam71 Report

Final score:

26points

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#26

I am 40f. My regret is being with someone who didn't fully commited when I ready. When I talked about having children he started saying things like: "It's unfair to not be able to ask the children himself if he wants to exist." And said I don't want to do it to you. (Talking about pregnancy's risk and toll on your body) Eventually I decided he wasn't ready and I stuck around way too long. So I am unhappy I never had kids but I am learning to live without them.

Final score:

25points

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MisterE 8 months ago

Sorry, but the whole "the kid did not ask to be born" line of thinking is mentally deranged. No living thing asked to be created.

10points

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#27

46M, I never got married or had any kids. I got SA'd multiple times as a child and it has utterly destroyed my life and me as a person. I have a collection of broken relationships (lovers and family) in the past where I've pushed my girlfriends and family members away because of my mental health issues and self hatred and very self destructive tendencies. While I'd still love to settle down and be a dad, I'm a realist... I know that's unlikely to happen the older I get. And tbh the older I get the more I'm sure that i do not want to hurt other people by inflicting my mental health and personal demons on them.

Anon_777 Report

Final score:

23points

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Cathleen Cummings 8 months ago

So sorry for what you've gone through! I hope you are able to find some help and finally gain a bit of peace!

22points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#28

Childfree People Over 40 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices M41... no, don't regret it, I never wanted kids, and so far, that's working out. Always dated women with no desire to have kids either. Don't want to get married... or live with someone either. I do kinda live a hermit lifestyle

I don't want a family life anyway, never did... I'm totally fine with being by myself and spending all my time, money and space on things I want, rather than things I have to because I have a kid or something... (because I'm well aware that these thing take resources from me, I don't want to spend)

Rivetlicker , Nathana Rebouças Report

Final score:

20points

POST

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#29

48M Here, and never been married, no kids. I've shared a house with friends until I was 35 then bought my own place. I had a flatmate until 5 years ago and I've never been happier. I work full time, I get to eat what I want, life is good. Could I have married? Yes, but I never met someone I hated enough to inflict me onto them.

Finbar_AU Report

Final score:

19points

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SonicAlchemy 8 months ago

"I get to eat what I want" 😆 Best reason to not regret not having children I've ever heard. I have a son bur there's plenty of nights my wife and I will say "F**k it, he can have a grilled cheese tonight, we'll get some tacos and carne asada fries after he goes to bed."

7points

#30

I (Male 47) have been on both sides of this. So I have more insight than others.

I was married for 10 years and got divorced at 36. We didn't have kids together (Thank god)

After the divorce was single into my 40's. I had an awesome job, great big house all to myself, "A LOT" of disposable income and friends to hang out with to keep my busy. Traveled with work and for fun. And I was dating a lot. I thought it was the best thing ever.

I was on track to be that old creepy guy that hangs out at bars hitting on younger women.

But I ended up meeting a great woman. She moved in and after a few years we had a fantastic baby enter our lives.

Being a partner and a parent is 10x more stressful. But its 1000000x more rewarding and fulfilling.

When I reflect on these two different lives I lived, I wish I had met my partner earlier and I didn't waste so much time f*****g around, partying, hanging out with friends, and blowing my money. Because my partner and I really want a second child, but unfortunately we have aged out.

I often think about the poem used at the end of the last James Bond film, No Time to Die.

*"the proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” -Jack London.*

SDN_stilldoesnothing Report

Final score:

18points

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Auntriarch 8 months ago

People who have children are not happier, but they have more joy.

2points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#31

41f recently broke up with my 38m ex boyfriend with whom I was living with since more than 3 years. We didn’t want children since the beginning but he left saying that since we are not going to start a family there is no reason to be in a couple. I disagree but I have to cope with it and go on and it’s f*****g painful

TheBase82 Report

Final score:

16points

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Ana 8 months ago

You dodged a bullet! Be thankful you didn't have to deal with them for more than 3 years! Someone better will come along, just have enough self respect to be upfront and honest from the beginning about what you want in a relationship.

11points

#32

I'm 36 I'm not even at the feeling ready for a baby time yet lol. I haven't said no but I don't think it will be on the cards for me. I've never really had a desire to be a mum though I find it exhausting. I work with kids every day it's enough for me

viper29000 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

#33

62 in 6 days. Never married no kids. Sometimes I wonder how it would have been. Bur I feel God has led me on this path. I was able to help out my parents at the end of their lives. I like being alone at times.

Natural_Pace3454 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Guigsy Gwiggins 8 months ago

Wherever you are in life right now is the way it was meant to be. Every experience to this point makes you who you are and you can never be anyone else. The decisions you make now make you the person you will become tomorrow. Peace

7points

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#34

40s, single female.

Sometimes I do as I always wanted kids and I feel as if I have no value to men as I can't have kids anymore.

Other times, I'm glad. I am not great with a budget and struggle with my mortgage. I also am mostly undateable so maybe having kids is not a great idea! And I am just happy to be able to live my life and do whatever I want. I go away, have hobbies, stay up etc. Never have to worry about anyone else!

Odd-Opening-3158 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Ana 8 months ago

Love yourself!

7points

#35

54 male, 48 wife. We made an active decision. WHilst I don't regret it, the downside now we are getting older is becoming clearer... We will die alone.

neopaniso1600 Report

Final score:

15points

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Kylie 8 months ago (edited)

We ALL die alone. Sometimes even people who do have children.

36points

#36

42F. Semi-regret. I didn’t think about kids or marriage at all in my 20’s. Too busy having fun. In my mid-thirties I was ready for all that, but the life partner just never came. Although ive had a good life and got to spend it doing anything I wanted (travel, years salsa dancing), I now wish I had children.

Summer_Lolita Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Ana 8 months ago (edited)

It's not too late...f*ck having kids. Having an awesome partner could still totes happen! Maybe they'll already have kids and you can be the awesome step parent! It could happen! Did for me at 45💕🥰👍🏻

7points

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#37

49 here and no.

rpaul9578 Report

Final score:

12points

POST

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

45 and also no.

6points

#38

Not me but my sister, she talks about this frequently. She's 41, never married, no kids. It wasn't by her choice necessarily. She made a lot of mistakes when she was in her 20s with drinking and duis. Various other life events led her to now where she lives with my parents. She blames herself all the time and says she f****d up, no one will ever want to date a 41 yo who's never been married etc. She has her s**t in order now, a job she's been at for 2 years and going into management. I wish she had the confidence and care to not completely give up.

I guess to answer your question, she's very unhappy about it but kind of just accepts it.

Adorable_Zoey Report

Final score:

11points

POST

nomnomborkbork 8 months ago

Her life is SO far from over!

4points

#39

I'm 33 (M) about to turn 34 and I feel like I'm just missing out on life by not having children or even having a partner.

My last relationship lasted for 2.5 years, we broke up just before COVID happened and I've just been doing casual hookups and such since that point in time, now currently, the idea of getting back into a relationship with another woman is daunting, it actually fills me with dread, like I don't want to go through that again but at the same time, I would like to start a family at some point. Idk, I guess I just feel lost more than anything else.

xdkivx Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Seonag 8 months ago

Your still young, you still have time.

4points

#40

I'm not 40, but I'm 38. And I don't. I do however like to have casual relationships, for now it's still pretty easy to get them, I wonder if it'll be the same down the line. Kids I'm pretty sure I'll never want to have, but maybe get married eventually, let's hope I'm not too late if I decide I want that. For now though I can't see myself having a comited relationship for too long.

Nekratal99 Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Read less »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. Looking at pets and memes is the best part of my work. I love to travel and want to see the world. Still looking and exploring stuff I like and want to do so thats exciting... and sometimes not

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What do you think ?

POST

Sabeena Webb 8 months ago

I'm so sick of people assuming I'll change my mind or regret it later beacuse I'm a woman. Been with my fabulous husband almost 15 years now, we have cats, a dog and are incredibly happy with the family we've built. Children are just something we've never desired and our family feels complete without them.

17points

Bonesko 8 months ago

I'm 38F, I don't want children and I hate when people say 'you'll regret it later'. That is not a good reason to have a child. I'd rather regret not having one than regret having one. I also hate when people say 'never?! You'll never want a kid?!' How am I supposed to answer that?

8points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

The opening blurb perpetuates the idea that having kids = having (starting) a family. I don’t have kids and I have a family. It’s not like my parents or sisters stopped being my family when I became an adult. It’s also super insulting to married people who don’t have kids - they are a family too.

11points

devotedtodreams 8 months ago

I'm 35F (almost 36) and have never experienced even an ounce of baby fever, thank God. Children sound like the biggest ball and chain to me, and I can't shake the feeling that having one would absolutely wreck me. I like my freedom, my independence... what's missing in my life is not a child, but a cat or two. (A partner... eh, I can't imagine anyone would ever want to be with me, and for now, my one relationship I ever had has been quite enough.) My neighbors had a baby last August, and it's screaming its head off every time they leave or come back... what a nightmare!

9points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

I’m 45 and I feel you. Whenever I see people out with their kids, even when the kids are behaving, it seems awful to me.

6points

Sephora Black 8 months ago

There's an astonishing amount of mental illness on both sides of my family tree. I never want to pass that on. Even if that wasn't an issue, I won't bring a child into this f****d up world.

9points

Little Wonder 8 months ago

I could give a ton of reasons for why I don't want, and never wanted, kids (mental health issues, no money, world is going to s**t) but the only one that counts is this: I didn't want to. I think if you're going to create some new humans you have to WANT that, you need to be totally on board to raise new people. I wasn't. I couldn't think of anything worse. So I never did, don't regret a thing about it and have had a hysterectomy for health reasons so couldn't now anyway (which is excellent for those old Uncles who insist on asking when I'm going to start having babies - simply can't, soz!)

9points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

I often liken it to sky diving. I have no interest in sky diving so I have never done it and never will. I just don’t want to. Same with kids.

5points

TheOGpandaHavana 8 months ago

Middle-aged married female and child-free. I wouldn't change a thing. I've never had the desire to have children and when I see how miserable parents look or how exhausted they are, I'm even happier that I made that choice. Dogs are a big enough commitment and I honestly don't know how people have time for themselves or their kids .

7points

Stefaan De Clerck 8 months ago

I am now 55, no relationship and no children. When I was diagnosed as autistic when I was seven, I decided at a very young age that a relationship was not for me. As the child of an alcoholic father and a mother who sought refuge in a cult, I had no need for children at all. Whatever others may say, having children is no one's duty. A society that looks down on people who don't have children is just as crooked as a society that excludes people for any other reason.

6points

Kylie 8 months ago

Considering pretty much anyone can have a child statistically speaking, there's so many people having children who shouldn't, whether because they're not financially or emotionally sound enough to care for them properly or didn't care to use bc and a lot of times other people end up paying for their decisions to have children (welfare etc etc) that I applaud all the posts on this thread that CHOSE to not have children knowing it was the right decision for them.

6points

Giraffy Window 8 months ago (edited)

Have no kids: "Who's going to arrange your funeral?" Have one kid: "They're going to have to arrange your funeral all alone..." Have two kids: "They need a brother or sister to balance them out, especially some day when they have to organize your funeral" Have three kids: "You going to try for a/another boy? You need more pallbearers for your funeral..." Have four kids: "Wow you must be done now, huh? Gotta leave a few seats free at your funeral hahaha" Have five kids: "You've got your hands full you must be done now, huh?" They're never ever satisfied anyway, so have as few or as many kids as fills your heart. Zero is a well-rounded number.

5points

The Original Bruno 8 months ago

You have strange, morbid friends or relatives. "Who's going to arrange your funeral?" "Won't you, Karen?"

3points

María Hermida 8 months ago

Who's going to arrange my funeral? I couldn't care less! FFS, I'll be dead, so it's none of my business.

3points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

With the money I’m saving not having a child, I can probably pay someone to arrange my funeral. Also if that’s the only reason to have a kid, that is fůcked up

3points

Seonag 8 months ago

Had my baby at 41. 40 is not a cut off point for having children, and people answering in their mid 30s is just silly as they still have plenty of time if they do want kids

5points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

It annoyed me only because the title says “people over 40” and a decent portion were under 40. I knew I didn’t want kids in my early 20s so I’m not saying it’s not valid for people in their 30s to have opinions. Just match the title to the content. THAT is an easy thing to do

6points

The Original Bruno 8 months ago

Lucky you. Fertility begins to decline at age 30. By 35, it's steeply declining. By age 40, it's very common to have grave difficulty conceiving, and most people who want children have to plan very carefully and hope for the best.

0points

Happy_Pandalover 8 months ago

Same thought. I understand that most women in their 50s can‘t have children anymore. But a 40 year old could still change her mind and might have a child a few years later. Not that it‘s wrong to share your opinion at any age. But the title makes it look like at 40 is a turning point, where people can‘t have children anymore.

0points

Michael Largey 8 months ago

We never had any children. But like any high school teacher, I have served as parent to many.

4points

Emie N. 8 months ago

The VAST MAJORITY of childfree people do not regret it and never will. Best decision to make. We know ourselves better than anyone else.

4points

Pandaroo 8 months ago

43, married. No regret. I've never wanted them and never will.

4points

Guess Undheit 8 months ago

Environmental damage. Mental health. Medical conditions. Money. Personal freedom. Overpopulation. ALL reasons to not have kids are valid, including reasons I can't think of. Breeding is an option, NOT an obligation. Breeding is selfishness because it's something YOU want, not having having kids is NOT "selfishness". [ .............................. ] Whenever some idiot calls you "selfish", tell them to give you $5 million to cover the costs of a kid, and to hire nannies to take care of the kid so it doesn't cut into your free time. Suddenly, they shut up. [ .............................. ] Billionaires (like that fElon whose cars are programmed and designed to murder pedestrians) have openly talked about denying the right to vote to anyone without children. Do you really think they would deny it just to Childfree people? They would deny it to people who are divorced and separated and don't have custody.

4points

zovjraar me 8 months ago

it seems more people are sad they didn't find a life partner rather than not having kids. i'm so lucky to be with my husband for 24+ years, and neither of us regret not having kids.

3points

Delenn 8 months ago (edited)

I like that in this post there is a lot of people that says they did not have children because they could not aford them (which is sad) o they dont see temselves as capable. People should not have children if they cannot take care of them. Of course there is people that were able to provide and then have bad luck (lose job, crisis, health...) but many other people have children without being able to care them from the begining. There are animal shelters where they make you a study and interview to see if you are comitted to have that pet but no one do the same with people who want to have children

3points

Dragons Exist 8 months ago

"50 childfree people share their regrets" will be followed by "50 people reveal why they hate their children" in a week

3points

Ephemera Image 8 months ago

70 years of age and never regretted not having them. I can play or look after them for a few hours but after that, I'm done. Oddly enough they like me - maybe because I do focus fully on them and play with them? i don't know. But I've travelled around the world, accomplished everything I want to do, and am now very happy in retirement, single, and hand pick friends that I feel are good for me, and I try to be good to them.

3points

Ace 8 months ago

I don't get why this is focussed on single people; many married couples don;t have, never wanted to have, children. . . . Nor do I see, on the three or four that say they regret, any reason for that regret. There seems to be an assumption that the desire to have children doesn't need an explanation, whereas in my world it very much does.

3points

Jaguarundi 8 months ago

Never wanted kids, always used precautions to prevent kids, never had kids. Seeing how my sister's kids turned out, I'm very happy with my decision.

2points

Scarlett 8 months ago

I work as a camp counselor. I love my job and I like the kids I work with. However, at the end of the summer, I’m happy to hand them back to their parents and go back to my peaceful life and my pets. I am young but I have never wanted children of my own even as a child.

2points

Mantis_shrimp(they/them)🇺🇦️‍ 8 months ago

Having children is a choice people can choose to be child-free for many types of reasons. Others can also have children for many types of reasons. It all depends on the person, their life choices, and their situation. Whatever you want.

2points

Julia Cargile 8 months ago

I didn't miss having children but I miss not having grandchildren terribly. Age 66.

2points

Anička 8 months ago

I think there are programs where you can be a grandparent for unrelated kids. Plenty of families where the grandparents aren't around...

2points

Cathy 8 months ago

For anyone who really regrets having children: there are so many older children who need foster parents.. Imho if you are really into children this is the way. Oh btw: female, in my 40's, married, nice house, no regrets and very happy with my choice!

2points

tee-lena 8 months ago

Nope. No regrets. Hell entering menopause is fantastic. Except for the side effects.

1point

AUndomiel 8 months ago

F58, had children young (accidents cause people), so been an empty nester quite some time. There's always a few regrets, whatever. If I'd done the whole thing up "proper" as by example by my generation, I'd be totally miserable. Do NOT feel guilty. KNOW. THYSELF. and prepare aggressively!

1point

supertall 8 months ago

43 and absolutely delighted to be childfree. Never wanted them. I can give a million reasons why I DON'T want them, but people who WANT kids can never give me a straight answer as to why they DO want them. Odd. At any rate, I've never been pressured to have kids, which is nice, and I am very happy with my decision.

0points

LokisLilButterknife 8 months ago (edited)

Wow BoredPanda, your headline and the listicle make it sound like people over 40 who don’t have children or choose not to have children should be shamed and embarrassed for their poor life choices and should feel regret that they don’t have kids. How insanely toxic. Some people can’t have children and some choose not to. They should never be made to feel like they are lesser like this toxic listicle makes them out to be. God, what has happened to this site?

0points

Livingwithcfs 5 months ago

I had kids, lots of my friends didn't and I think they made the better choice. I don't have a relationship with my kids (too much trauma) and am now a single old lady with a cat and am happier than I ever was with children. Some people just should not be parents, I wish I knew I was one of them before I fell into a family is a blessing trap

-1point

Evelien Stijger Martens 5 months ago

I do have kids, but it would have been netter if i didn't. If i had known about myself what i know now, i would never have givin this to another living creature. In nu 20, i didn't want them, but somehow that changed. Eventualy they became the reason for me to keep fighting, bit i am not very sure if it would have been better if istopped there and than. I see them strugling as mutch as i did and i don't want that for them. They are wonderful, but no. I cn emagine people not wanting them and not regretting it.

-1point

Janet C 5 months ago

I knew when I was still single-digits old I never wanted kids. I'll be 69 this year and have ZERO regrets. I've had an amazing, fulfilling, happy, rewarding childfree life.

-1point

Casey Payne 8 months ago

"If you are over 40 and single, do you ever regret not having children?" "You betcha I do. I want a child. A child to raise. A child of my very own. A child to manipulate and twist into a viable human adult. Really, really I do. So why don't you give me yours? What's the matter? You don't want me to have a kid now? That's incredibly selfish. You don't have to give me all of them. Or even the best of them. Give me the ugly one. You know the one. Give me the one you like the least. I'll be a good parent. I'll be the best parent. I think I can at least be a better parent than you." - - That was for fun, but in all seriousness, some people should not have children whatsoever and they don't need encouragement.

-2points

FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago

What gets me (child free over 40) is the number of people who say they wish they had kids, but they don't do anything active to support kids in the community. You don't have kids if you own, but you're not coaching, supporting youth theatre, working in outreach, volunteering or working in schools. This says to me the part you regret is not passing on your genetics. And no, it is not the same working with kids and having kids, but as someone who has worked in child and teen focused jobs most of my career, we need more people active supporting youth, not more people churning out rugrats. Children aren't theoretical, put up or shut up about wanting kids if your own while contributing nothing to the ones that already exist and need someone.

-3points

María Hermida 8 months ago

First of all, let people decide what they want to do with their lives. If you think you are great because you are "supporting youth" you are really wrong. You have *worked* in child and teen focused jobs, which means you have been paid to do it. And second. Who the hell do you think you are to tell people to shut up? Nobody owes you anything, and you are not a moral example or a guru that everybody has to obey. So, take your own advice and STFU.

2points

POST

Sabeena Webb 8 months ago

17points

Bonesko 8 months ago

8points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

11points

devotedtodreams 8 months ago

9points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

I’m 45 and I feel you. Whenever I see people out with their kids, even when the kids are behaving, it seems awful to me.

6points

Sephora Black 8 months ago

There's an astonishing amount of mental illness on both sides of my family tree. I never want to pass that on. Even if that wasn't an issue, I won't bring a child into this f****d up world.

9points

Little Wonder 8 months ago

9points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

I often liken it to sky diving. I have no interest in sky diving so I have never done it and never will. I just don’t want to. Same with kids.

5points

TheOGpandaHavana 8 months ago

7points

Stefaan De Clerck 8 months ago

6points

Kylie 8 months ago

6points

Giraffy Window 8 months ago (edited)

5points

The Original Bruno 8 months ago

You have strange, morbid friends or relatives. "Who's going to arrange your funeral?" "Won't you, Karen?"

3points

María Hermida 8 months ago

Who's going to arrange my funeral? I couldn't care less! FFS, I'll be dead, so it's none of my business.

3points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

With the money I’m saving not having a child, I can probably pay someone to arrange my funeral. Also if that’s the only reason to have a kid, that is fůcked up

3points

Seonag 8 months ago

Had my baby at 41. 40 is not a cut off point for having children, and people answering in their mid 30s is just silly as they still have plenty of time if they do want kids

5points

CanadianDimes 8 months ago

6points

The Original Bruno 8 months ago

0points

Happy_Pandalover 8 months ago

0points

Michael Largey 8 months ago

We never had any children. But like any high school teacher, I have served as parent to many.

4points

Emie N. 8 months ago

The VAST MAJORITY of childfree people do not regret it and never will. Best decision to make. We know ourselves better than anyone else.

4points

Pandaroo 8 months ago

43, married. No regret. I've never wanted them and never will.

4points

Guess Undheit 8 months ago

4points

zovjraar me 8 months ago

it seems more people are sad they didn't find a life partner rather than not having kids. i'm so lucky to be with my husband for 24+ years, and neither of us regret not having kids.

3points

Delenn 8 months ago (edited)

3points

Dragons Exist 8 months ago

"50 childfree people share their regrets" will be followed by "50 people reveal why they hate their children" in a week

3points

Ephemera Image 8 months ago

3points

Ace 8 months ago

3points

Jaguarundi 8 months ago

Never wanted kids, always used precautions to prevent kids, never had kids. Seeing how my sister's kids turned out, I'm very happy with my decision.

2points

Scarlett 8 months ago

2points

Mantis_shrimp(they/them)🇺🇦️‍ 8 months ago

2points

Julia Cargile 8 months ago

I didn't miss having children but I miss not having grandchildren terribly. Age 66.

2points

Anička 8 months ago

I think there are programs where you can be a grandparent for unrelated kids. Plenty of families where the grandparents aren't around...

2points

Cathy 8 months ago

2points

tee-lena 8 months ago

Nope. No regrets. Hell entering menopause is fantastic. Except for the side effects.

1point

AUndomiel 8 months ago

1point

supertall 8 months ago

0points

LokisLilButterknife 8 months ago (edited)

0points

Livingwithcfs 5 months ago

-1point

Evelien Stijger Martens 5 months ago

-1point

Janet C 5 months ago

I knew when I was still single-digits old I never wanted kids. I'll be 69 this year and have ZERO regrets. I've had an amazing, fulfilling, happy, rewarding childfree life.

-1point

Casey Payne 8 months ago

-2points

FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago

-3points

María Hermida 8 months ago

2points