lol savage!

hell yeah octopus couch fort of singlehood success

Best time to buy candy: Day after halloween, 2nd best day: February 15th!

well... everybody hates such couples :D

This is me with my cat all the time

Painfully fake, but funny

And that cat will NEVER Judge you for it!

... and a bed I don't have to share! one i can sleep on diagonally and naked if i wanted! How bow dah!

That girl with the pizza is my soul mate!

You're mah soulmate.

Lol

The dog has been traumatized!

Owh... now I feel for you.

I take the Whiskey

You're not single!You have chips with you!

I can understand that guy :P

but I don't think she can get out of the house and walk wherever she wants, so no way, she single

Literally me.

whooooops

sriracha sauce <3

What!? No! I RELISH the idea!

I am milk, I am red hot kitchen, and I am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean ♬♪

lmao, I wonder when a dildo with solar energy will come to ladies.

Not if they have a dog

thats the driver side tho?

Well, I enter my mom's car through the passenger door since I ride in the front. Alas, she is single.

Isn't that the drivers side.

What?

Why so pessimistic? Let's try again: What's the difference between you and a calender? A calender has dates, but will never fall in love. You may have no dates, but still chances to fall in love.

ouch but pretty much my story.

That seems like a really good place to be

Guinea pigs make squeeky sounds if you tickle them, I am told.

I actually have found that. If you are single and tell your friend they really deserve better than what they have (like someone with a job or at least actively looking for a job cause things happen, or someone that doesn't ask for rent money cause they drank it-again) you are just being jealous.

Me everyday.

Reminds me of middle school dances "ya'll make sure you leave enough room for Jesus, now, you hear!?"

Charlene?! *sobs* You cheating b***h!

I love her! LOL

Cat Lady to be....

I remember this dude from other series of tweets posted here. He seems to tweet more than I comment on Bored Panda.

Awwwwww

I'd prefer the nutella at this point

Now Now, lets not be sexist ... this can apply to some single fellas out there too!

My boyfriend purposely miss-pronounces the word and after I correct it, he looks at me andgoes like "I am so proud of you."

Hahaha! Clever.

ACCURATE!!!!!!!!!

Pizza is bae

obviously

Well, that's a fair point!

that guy is on fire!

Wow. Rejected by your own voice. That or someone could hear and was yelling back...

At least he got that one guy in the background...

Pizza the Hut's son

Oh my god, I just almost fell out of my chair laughing.

He's cute