50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents

It's not unusual to have a more or less complicated relationship with your parents. After all, they're human just like you, navigating the same complex feelings and emotions. However, there's a line between familial disagreement and toxic behavior. And Reddit user snoofle-science wanted to find it.

So they made a post on the platform, asking its users to share what signs have they noticed indicate that their moms and dads were lousy caregivers. From not being able to show affection to desperate attention cravings, here are some of the most popular problems that people attribute to their upbringing.

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents You feel intimidated by everyone around you, you feel like you're never good enough for anyone, no matter how much they tell you that you don't need to try so hard, and you generally have low self-worth.

Edit: Wow. I don't know whether to feel encouraged that so many people know where I’m coming from with this, or heartbroken about it. Either way, thank you, everyone.

mR-gray42 , Anubhav Saxena Report

Final score:

510points

POST

a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

ah. okay. i’m.. a little concerned for myself now, as i relate to all of these.

124points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents A second chance to do it better when you have kids. Every time I got angry or upset with my own children, I would take a breath and think about what my mom would do—and then do the exact opposite. Lots of laughter and forgiveness in our house and zero violence. My mantra has always been “there is value in a bad example.”

Slow-Distribution119 , Ilya Pavlov Report

Final score:

480points

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Magpie 2 years ago

Well done!!!! I admire and respect your courage and sanity.

153points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Doing everything yourself, not asking for help, because you knew no help was coming.

nch1307 , frank mckenna Report

Final score:

458points

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Magpie 2 years ago

Was shocked reading a re-imagined story about Cinderella " other kids knew they could ask any adult for help - and get it, not Rella ". My sister and I were both kind of Cinderella.

68points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Never believing a compliment. Always being anxious that people are mad at you/ignoring you if they're being quiet/not responding. Not being able to deal with confrontation/conflict in a constructive/healthy way.

Basically you get shitty people skills and emotional damage.

nisharfa , Joice Kelly Report

Final score:

455points

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Rylosalex 2 years ago

Same here. Whenever someone told me that I did a good job on something I would instantly think "Did I really do a good job? or is she/he just feeling sorry for me?"

102points

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Over-explain the tiniest issues because of a compulsive need to justify every thought, action or inaction

darermave Report

Final score:

427points

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Jeffery 2 years ago

As well as an ability to lie wonderuflly...

142points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents You can't identify your own emotions immediately, or sometimes at all, but can identify others without them having to say a word. Don't know how to react to things in the moment, and are extremely mature for your age. Mature kids often aren't a result of great parenting.

Louminous19 , Arwan Sutanto Report

Final score:

381points

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a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

i cannot say enough how true this is. i’ve wondered why i am always so uncomfortable if i am unable to read someone, and this really explains it.

94points

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I had to sneak out of the house through my bedroom window to go to school and take my finals because my mom locked my room from the outside. This was punishment because I wouldn’t do the dishes because I was cramming for my exams. To top it off after she locked me in my room she went to the breaker and turned off the lights to my bedroom so I wouldn’t have any lighting to study and I had to spend the whole night studying with a flashlight.

I aced all my exams. And instead of my mother being proud of me she locked me up in my room for a week for sneaking out.

I ended up going to college and grad school in STEM and made something of myself. And now she brags to people that I am successful because of her. When she says that I tell her and everyone “absolutely not! I’m successful DESPITE her”.

Witty_Goose_7724 Report

Final score:

372points

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weewoo 2 years ago

oh i am so happy for this person. they managd to get good grades with bad parents? now thats a great achievment

163points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents The panicked rush to jump and start “doing something” when you hear someone come in the house. Lest you be subjected to a barrage of insults and commands.

sadhandjobs , Volha Flaxeco Report

Final score:

371points

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Kristi Savage Cook 2 years ago

OMG this! Heaven forbid I'd be resting while nobody was home to see or comment....

112points

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Why is nobody mentioning the silent foot steps?

When you grow up with parents that will yell at you for existing you develop the ability to hide your presence as much as possible and always try to keep your noise and visibility to a minimum.

xaxiwan102 , Jake Hills Report

Final score:

362points

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weewoo 2 years ago

and you also leanr whos steps are whos when they are walking up and down the stairs.

188points

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#10

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Emotional numbness especially in the face of bad things. Once you've seen enough shit certain things just don't faze you anymore

UnhappyField102 , - - Report

Final score:

326points

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SparkleFarts 2 years ago

And not knowing how to comfort someone. Like I know I should feel something, but I just don't.

133points

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#11

Okay lets do it -

self doubt, self esteem issues and overall not feeling good enough or feeling like you have an intense obligation or expectation to fulfil to keep your parents happy.

The inability to know what you want or not knowing how to say no when someone asks something of you in fear they will react poorly.

Inability to be assertive and telling people what you are/aren't ok with.

Not having high values of yourself and putting everyone else before you.

Feeling guilt the minute you 'let someone down.'

TRIGGER WORDS - example 'I'm disappointed'

Having a habit of toxic and repetitive relationships with friends and partners. Also switching around friend groups often or having little to none.

Feeling emotionally inept or being extremely emotional and feeling like you cannot express it.

Difficulty with maintaining life skills, self care, hygiene, finances ect

feeling like a child stuck in an adults body

anon Report

Final score:

308points

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Magpie 2 years ago

Yes all of these are too familiar.

82points

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#12

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents You apologize for everything you do, good or bad.

JBLBEBthree , Arif Riyanto Report

Final score:

268points

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a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

i apologize because i’m just worried that i might mess something up.

72points

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#13

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Paranoia when people are just being nice. Like why are you being friendly? What do I have that you want from me?

chilifavela , Fernando @cferdophotography Report

Final score:

266points

POST

Alexia 2 years ago

Or "Why are they nice to me? Are they actually mocking me?"

5points

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#14

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Being a people-pleaser to the point of it being detrimental to yourself

Wips_and_Chains , Ryoji Iwata Report

Final score:

261points

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Magpie 2 years ago

Oh yes!

38points

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#15

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents being really good at hiding things (physical or mental). being able to sneak something to my room, being able to look like i haven't cried even though i was five minutes ago.

soggy-sleeves , bady abbas Report

Final score:

247points

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Agent 8433599 2 years ago

I relate to this the most.

48points

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#16

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Being afraid that you'll continue the cycle and treat your kids terribly

EnialisHolimion , Kelli McClintock Report

Final score:

246points

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a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

i don’t want kids. mostly because i know there is no way i would be able to handle them.

101points

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#17

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents You are in your 40s and still crave attention and validation from anyone at all because you were ignored all the time.

JBLBEBthree , Alex Blăjan Report

Final score:

236points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)

::raises hand:: I'm 40 right now and I still have "the class clown" personality because at least if people are laughing at me, they're paying attention to me, right? Right?!

118points

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#18

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents When i tell stories of my childhood that i think are funny but my friends stare in horror

probablykelz , Daiga Ellaby Report

Final score:

233points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

"Haha, omg guys, so once when I was 6, my dad was about to leave on a business trip and my mom grabbed me, pressed the revolver she'd gotten from my grandpa into my throat under my chin, and told my dad that if he left on one more business trip, she'd kill us kids and then herself! Isn't that hilarious?" (that is a true story from my childhood, sadly)

232points

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#19

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Being surprised people will apologize and want to talk out and deal with an issue instead of screaming and pretending everything is fine and never mentioning why there was a fight or argument at all.

ToastedMaple , kevin laminto Report

Final score:

222points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I was always terrified of my mother as a young child, because one moment she would be screaming at me, beating me, and throwing me across the room, and then 5 minutes later she'd come into the room smiling with a plate of cookies she'd just baked all "Do you want a cookie, Cryssie?" I was off-balance all the time because I had NO idea what I'd done to make her angry, nor why she suddenly wasn't angry AT ALL any more, and I was terrified that I'd do whatever I'd done to p**s her off again and she'd go nuclear again in the next 30 seconds. I had no idea that that wasn't normal.

119points

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#20

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents When you really don’t remember any good times you spent with them.

AverageLegoGameFan , Juliane Liebermann Report

Final score:

216points

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Lisa H 2 years ago

There were some good times in my childhood, but I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always, always did. Every day, good or bad, would end with my dad being in a bad mood for some stupid reason.

93points

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#21

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Not reacting appropriately to ordinary situations. Usually an overreaction to a normal situation or underreacting to very messed up situations.

ESQBOJaguar , Justin Snyder Photo Report

Final score:

206points

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Alexia 2 years ago

Yeah. This is when survival instincts kick in, based on previous experience with your parents. I overreacted so many times in normal situations, because I felt in danger - and obviously this affected my relationships.

42points

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#22

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents My dad was yelling at me once and I couldn't take it so I made a snappy comment back. Instinctively I threw my hands up to block the blow I knew was coming. But then they both tried to convince me that my dad has never hit me before and why would I act like that.....so physically abusive and mentally abusive with gas lighting

DV_Police10 , Caleb Woods Report

Final score:

199points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

My older sister gets pissed when I talk about how abusive my mother was towards me. She'll say "Mom never HIT you!" Uh, mom used to cut me with the kitchen knives, not just hit me/throw me across the room. But my sister is my parents' biological child, and I'm adopted. My sister is just like my mother and is/was "the perfect child", so she was never yelled at or hit while we were growing up.

92points

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#23

Can’t explain myself without crying

iiJojo Report

Final score:

188points

POST

Brazen 2 years ago

Frustration tears, angry tears, sad tears, and tears from laughing too hard...basically all the crying. I'd give anything for this to not be a knee jerk reaction from my body.

100points

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#24

Someone raises their voice- doesn't even have to be in anger; they could just have a deep voice but suddenly its *loud* - and your first reaction is to either shrink in on yourself or focus on anything but their face and wait for your throat to stop feeling so tight or for your eyes to stop watering.

Coffee_Addict019 Report

Final score:

188points

POST

a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

this!!! i have never been able to describe the feeling i get when someone becomes loud- it has always terrified me.

71points

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#25

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents When, as an adult, you witness an example of good parenting - and experience a sense of shock, and get dizzy.

Journeyman-Joe , Sarah Medina Report

Final score:

172points

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Magpie 2 years ago

THIS. Spent a weekend at a friend's home. Was shocked how nice her parents were. Was shocked how she could joke *with* them.

74points

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#26

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents You remember being severely neglected yet you were told “you are spoiled.”

Embarrassed-Swan3568 , Kelly Sikkema Report

Final score:

168points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I'm apparently "spoiled" because I was adopted! My biological mother was an unmarried alcoholic/drug addict who already had two other children (from unknown fathers) and she didn't even have working utilities in her trailer. I was told from a very early age (5ish or so) that I needed to be grateful because I had been taken away from such a HORRIBLE situation and brought to have a "normal" life. Apparently that = me being spoiled.

61points

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#27

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Unable to form or desire romantic attachments and not to forget the numerous mental illnesses you have no control over because your parent doesn’t believe in poor mental health so allowed you to go undiagnosed your whole life :)

ooopsadestructy , Dương Hữu Report

Final score:

160points

POST

alex cosgrove 2 years ago

Mine treated me like I was slow. My twin was very book smart. Took a therapist when I was 16 to test my math skills (first diagnosis) and at 23 I got the full testing to find out, nope not slow.. lots of mental disabilities.. I cried hysterically because I finally had a name to the learning disabilities that plagued my life. Best day of my life.

93points

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#28

Not being able to recognize affection or how to show it healthily.

TwoLaysea Report

Final score:

157points

POST

Brazen 2 years ago

Wanting it and not getting healthy affection is equally as painful.

66points

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#29

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents A fantastic sense of humor

bombaderogato , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:

157points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

Making jokes hides the pain! If you can make others laugh, even if they're laughing AT you, then you are a-o-kay. I'm a master "class clown"/comedian and most of my jokes are self-deprecating.

83points

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#30

- Thinking you do everything wrong, even small daily tasks, and at a certain moment you hear other people compliment you about doing it well or asking why I am a perfectionist.

- Always apologizing for everything, multiple times

- When people say something, you suspect that they mean something else, something you did wrong, buy they won't tell you until they get so mad they burst.

- Extremely nauseous feelings when someone gets irritated or angry

Ananoriel Report

Final score:

154points

POST

Kristi Savage Cook 2 years ago

I've tried to explain to my husband what it's like to ALWAYS feel that things are my fault. If anyone is ever unhappy in my circle, it's my fault and it's my responsibility to fix what's wrong. I think it It must be amazing not to feel this way.

55points

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#31

I can never open up to them. No matter how big or small my problems are, because they'll just tell me I'm being dramatic.

notcindymae Report

Final score:

154points

POST

SparkleFarts 2 years ago

Yep. There have been a lot of days lately when I really needed to "talk to my mom" but that's just not an option

52points

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#32

You don't talk to them anymore or want them in your life otherwise as an adult (e.g., not inviting them to your wedding, or want them around any potential children you may have).

Cuish Report

Final score:

136points

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Magpie 2 years ago (edited)

Cutting off all contact was one of the sanest things I have ever done for myself. And telling social services that my nephews must a NEVER be left alone with either grandparent was also. edit:Life is a bit complicated for them.

64points

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#33

Lot of anger problems

Samuelwankenobi_ Report

Final score:

134points

POST

SparkleFarts 2 years ago

Because anger was the only acceptable emotion

61points

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#34

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents They don’t want you to have any better of a life than they did

tunaball25 , Luemen Rutkowski Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Hatred Pony 2 years ago

So much this. I had several opportunities as a teen that were never even discussed but shot down immediately. A trip to Greece for $400 with my class (better believe I would try to scrape that money together for my kids), an invitation to study abroad and the big one, admittance into art school my junior year of highschool. My mom never wanted me to succeed or have anything better than she ever had and she pulled opportunities out from under me any chance she had. I even won "sweetheart" at a Valentine's dance at church as a kid, I was so thrilled then because I never won a thing. In the car on the way home she told me about a lady who said I was very rude to her when she said I looked pretty. I couldn't then recall anything close to this situation , she called me a liar and made me feel awful. It wasn't until much later in life that I realized she was the liar.

70points

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#35

My mother treats me like her personal therapist and I'm only 17. She asks me where she went wrong in raising my brother and I and I don't want to tell her because I'm scared of her when she yells.

Extension_Payment525 Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

Oh yes. Recognize this one.

28points

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#36

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Apologizing constantly

Stopsign09 , Jack Lucas Smith Report

Final score:

116points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

I still apologize to the wall when I bump into it.

51points

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#37

Even at 31 feeling like if I get close to anyone they'll find a way to take advantage of me

NoticeWhenUAreHappy Report

Final score:

115points

POST

Kristi Savage Cook 2 years ago

Or they'll find out who you are

56points

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#38

You're raised by people who can barely function, people who are basically at subsistence level. So you have no tools to be successful in the real world. There's no support other than vague crappy advice to just keep plugging along. You know that everything you get in life can disappear in a moment, and no one will be there to provide for you. Worse, your parents are expecting that you'll somehow magically provide for them in their old age. They send you out into the world with worse-than-s**t life skills, and they expect you to support them.

paxinfernum Report

Final score:

114points

POST

T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago

When your valid feelings are dismissed with the words, "You've got to be better than that."

30points

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#39

Feeling weird when people tell you that they love you, recieving hugs, feeling weirded out when you have to give hugs, and my personal favorite, being at the end of the favorite's list

jaynvius Report

Final score:

113points

POST

a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago

i like hugs. but one of my friends constantly calls me her favorite, and is very affectionate, and i get very confused. like, why me??

31points

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#40

Not knowing a lot of things that are "common sense" and not realizing til you're an adult yourself

maggyta10 Report

Final score:

100points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

Yes as a student nurse there were some really basic things I didn't know. Like where adults use talc powder. *arm pits and groin.

21points

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#41

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents If you're the eldest, an extreme urge to help and "save" your younger siblings, even to the detriment of your own mental health.

monster3381 , Juliane Liebermann Report

Final score:

98points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

I'm the youngest and I constantly tried to save my older sister. From her drug addictions, from the poverty, from her abusive husband.....and so on. It was *all* my fault.

33points

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#42

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents When you are telling a story which you think is a funny story from your childhood, only for someone to turn around and tell you "That's not normal".



If you've grown up in a very dysfunctional household, then not only is your norm set at a very messed up bar, but things that would be horrifying to others might be funny to you because of where your norm was set at. Examples of this can include "funny stories" that actually featured a lot of violent or neglect.

Creative_Recover , https://unsplash.com/photos/VTE4SN2I9s0 Report

Final score:

93points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)

Yep. I've told my friends "funny stories" of times when my mom cut me with kitchen knives, or times when she'd hit me only below the neck so that "no one would see the bruises", or how funny it was that when I was small and light, she'd throw me across the room and into the walls. My friends would be all O_O; and then hug me.

42points

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#43

Parents that lean more on you in rough times when it should be 100% the other way around

WeLoveYouJoshua Report

Final score:

92points

POST

Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I was 18 and planning to move out, when my dad had an accident that resulted in a catastrophic brain injury. He had such extensive brain damage that he was bedridden, could not speak/communicate or understand, had to wear diapers, and had to have a feeding tube installed. My mother refused to hire professional caregivers for him, so I was his primary caregiver for the next 21 years (he died last year). I never moved out. My dad was a wonderful person and a great father, so I willingly cared for him because I loved him, but it was pretty awful that my mother assumed that well OF COURSE I'd stay living at home and take care of him so that she could go to the casinos/on vacation whenever she wanted.

61points

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#44

You can’t stick to your boundaries

Jaded_Research_2099 Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

What are boundaries? Had to learn about them from a psychologist.

47points

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#45

Self-harm such as cutting

SuvenPan Report

Final score:

83points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

And taking far too many pills and alcohol just to stop thinking about it all.

36points

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#46

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents Uncomfortably into Disney stuff well into old age. I've noticed that a lot of hardcore Disney fans AS ADULTS (I'm talking people who buy the plates, cups, figures, cookie jars, plush characters, etc) often have had bad parents or experiences as a kid. They probably are trying to hold on to some child like feeling that's still in them. Idk.

There's nothing wrong with being into Disney, but, at a certain point, I have to question what exactly went down in your household as a kid.

josiahcruz__ , PAN XIAOZHEN Report

Final score:

81points

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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago

I'm not into Disney specifically, but I'm 40 and I still buy stuffed animals for myself quite often.

61points

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#47

Always screaming. Always angry. Never showed any physical affection. Completely out of tune with their children's lives.

dryintentions Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Alana Voeks 2 years ago

Heyyyyyy. This is me 100%. Also never giving any life lessons, like don't lose your virginity to someone who shows you romantic affection for the first time! (Or ever teaching me about sex. Still yet to be taught, they still think I'm a virgin.)

14points

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#48

I knew how to open a beer and pour it with minimal foam for my mom while she was driving.

RedFlare15 Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Nancy Tate-Leach 2 years ago

Oh boy

38points

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#49

You call them for advice and they give you literally the worst advice ever. So you have been doing the opposite haha

youareverygood8 Report

Final score:

73points

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Ronald Cookson 2 years ago

Hearing the phrase " when life hands you lemons,make lemonade" is the most repeated and worthless platitude I've ever heard.makes me want to choke the ever loving s**t out of the person who says it.

30points

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#50

They told me the wrong date was my birthday. Didnt find out until my sixteenth birthday going for my drivers licence. Couldnt be bothered with getting it right, real nice of them.

Argybargyass Report

Final score:

70points

POST

Alana Voeks 2 years ago

Mine is just always forgotten. 10/23. Not hard to remember, yet no one ever can. It's literally 0123 with the 0 and 1 flipped. It's not that hard. And I've never been anywhere even out of the city for my birthday because "education" was so "important" here. But since my brother's birthday was during the summer, we've celebrated his every time we went on vacation.

23points

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#51

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents We fought alot about boarding school.
One day, she said that she's tired and that she gives up. She then proceeded to tell me that she will put me up for adoption and welfare. Yep.

CocoBark24 , MChe Lee Report

Final score:

25points

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Hatred Pony 2 years ago

Yeah, my mom put me in a children's home when I was 14 and then took my siblings on vacation. She said I would thank her one day, I have 3 kids now and I still don't feel very thankful.

16points

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#52

When all the people you thought loved you at school disappear once they aren't legally forced to be coincidentally in the same place as you every day.

desz4 Report

Final score:

24points

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Alana Voeks 2 years ago

It's like everyone held the same mentality as my birthgivers and just never want to be near me and don't want to give me a chance. How do interviewers know this? I don't know.

6points

#53

You, as a parent, also use spanking as a form of punishment and then say “I tUrNeD oUt FiNe”.

pksmama Report

Final score:

19points

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Magpie 2 years ago

One of the reasons I chose not to have children ( I'm a woman person and there was a lot of pressure to have them) was I *knew* I'd be a terrible parent.

17points

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#54

You think the Confederacy is an valued part of your heritage.

Mahaloth Report

Final score:

19points

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Alana Voeks 2 years ago

Or politics comes up in every conversation somehow.

0points

#55

50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents I'm 27, and I still get anxious and a high heart rythm whenever I hear someone shakes his key chains.

It was my father's habit when he used to come home late at night.

HannibalGoddamnit , Nicolae Valera Report

Final score:

17points

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T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago

I used to get in a panic whenever I heard a motorcycle outside our house (abusive person had one). It took our neighbour across the road getting one to finally pull me out of that. It still happens that I hear one and panic, but not too often.

2points

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#56

Depends on the person. Some people will take their shitty upbringing and take it out on others who had nothing to do with it. Other people will use their past as motivation to be better people than their parents.

Hot_Club1969 Report

Final score:

16points

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Alana Voeks 2 years ago

Or, you know, there's the majority who just fade out of anyone's presence.

2points

What do you think ?

Joseph Moore 2 years ago

Welp, this was totally a great idea to read.

::gives a hug:: :(

20points

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I know this was a difficult read. But for me, a survivor, it was sort of comforting, knowing I am not alone in feeling this weird. - and yes feeling guilty for feeling weird also. And if it is ok, a safe socially distanced e-hug. Always ok to say no, perhaps just a friendly supportive hand wave.

9points

T5n 2 years ago

I regretted reading this too. Each one referred to things caused by either one or both of my parents onto my sisters and I . On the plus side, I, and I assume you as well, are conscious of the impact/detriment they made on you or me, and are less likely to continue the chain that they were part of. I’m sorry that anyone had to go though having toxic parents.

David Force 2 years ago

Like watching a true crime show when you can’t look away. Thankfully I couldn’t relate but I hope it gives me more empathy for those suffering from emotional and mental issues which are clearly not their fault. It helps me understand why so many people seek mental health care and are on medication. It also makes me appreciate my parents who I clearly took for granted because I assumed a happy home was everyone’s normal. I was wrong.

3points

Beth S 2 years ago

Same! I feel you 100%. Hugs!

1point

I'm posting this comment before I even read the article with the prediction that I have probably experienced 80%-90% of the "signs" listed. I was adopted at birth because my mother didn't want my older sister (my parents' biological child) to "be an only child". I was told continually by my mother that I ought to be "grateful" that I was adopted and that I "owe her" for adopting me, especially since my bio mom was a "junkie alcoholic". This year I found out from my uncle (dad's brother) that my mom adopted ME specifically because she wanted a "blonde, blue-eyed" child (my mom is Mexican). I'm fortunate that my dad was a great guy and a wonderful dad, but he wasn't a strong person, so my mother often abused him as well. (Physically and verbally/emotionally/mentally.)

22points

Skylar Jaxx 2 years ago

That lady isn't ur mom. She is someone who thought she was doing good with bad intentions.

Annie Bieber 2 years ago

I'm really glad you had your father. My adopted. Gramma was my Angel, a more Beautiful Soul never lived. Were it not for that woman's uncondition love I would not be here, 3 of my siblings didn't make it. Stay Stong my friend...You ARE Valued. 💛✌️

Hugs to you Lakota!

alloutbikes@yahoo.com 1 year ago

Sometimes we have to find "family " elsewhere. I have older friends that are more like an older sister or aunt. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything. They say you have to hear something good 7 times to counter hearing 1 bad thing. Just read this a hundred times or so. Sorry you have to come to us for support. Wish we could be there for you. Stay strong.

Cracked Justin 2 years ago

I can imagine that words aren’t enough to describe that “mom”

Not understanding the concept of feeling safe. Having to learn that from a Psychologist. Having to practice feeling that. Always trying to make other people feel happy. - and/or solve their problems. Saying "thank you" over and over for the simplest help someone gave me.

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50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents

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