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Pretending to be a little different than you are is perfectly normal and quite common. We've all done it — laughed at a bad joke to make someone feel better, or faked a smile to hide what we're really feeling. However, taking this fabricated persona too far can be deemed cringeworthy or just plain pitiful, especially if you're doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Recently, ThatOddFrenchNobody turned to the internet to ask, "What screams 'I am not [as tough as] I pretend to be'?" and people were quick to chime in with their opinions and stories. It seems like there are a few examples of people trying way too hard to seem cool and strong, but falling short and ending up looking foolish.

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#1

"People don't like me because I tell it like it is."

No, people don't like you because you're an a*s.

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C.O. Shea
C.O. Shea
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Persecution complexes seem to always begin with that line... people don't like me because...

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We got an interview with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, and he explained how to spot someone pretending to be tough: "The telltale signs of someone pretending to be [cool] when they're not, typically include overcompensation, excessive boasting, and a constant need for validation. These behaviors can be driven by cognitive biases such as the optimism bias and the halo effect. The optimism bias leads people to believe that they are better or more skilled than they actually are, while the halo effect causes them to overemphasize positive traits in themselves or others, creating a distorted self-image."
#2

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Claiming you are an "Alpha Male". If you have to tell people you are a natural leader you probably aren't one.

jasenzero1 , Jeff Tumale Report

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These self proclaimed alphas and sigmas are really just douches who like to think of themselves as better than they actually are. They feel the need to proclaim how great they are to make up for their lack of actual qualities and a small banana.

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#3

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are “Inside me is a wolf, mess with me or my pack and I’ll show my fangs” or any similar cringy edgy quote about being an animal

Ragingbull444 , Cristopher Ott Report

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B.Nelson
B.Nelson
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Inside me is a giant sloth. Also, outside me is a giant sloth. Give some sloth love.

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky also explained why people do it: "People often pretend to be tough due to feelings of insecurity, which may stem from a desire to fit in or to establish dominance in social situations. The horns effect, a cognitive bias where we tend to see negative traits in a person and ignore their positive attributes, can contribute to this behavior. If someone feels they are perceived as weak, they may overcompensate by pretending to be tough in order to counterbalance that perception. In other cases, they might be influenced by the empathy gap, a bias where people underestimate the power of emotional states in their decision-making process. When people feel insecure or anxious, they may misjudge their emotional response and engage in exaggerated displays of toughness to protect themselves from perceived threats."
#4

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are “Do you know who I am... or whose son/daughter I am” kind of people...

No_Bullfrog5811 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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in.love.with.taylor.swift
in.love.with.taylor.swift
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this

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#5

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Do you know those people who disrespect teachers, janitors, and other people who work just to make them able to not being f****d in the a*s by life? That. That screams it out loud. You're not badass, you're disrespectful and ignorant.

RaimondoSpit , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disrespecting staff of any kind just automatically makes me dislike you. They're worked half to death and payed minimum wage, they don't need your b******t added on top of it.

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky shared if he'd ever witnessed someone pretending to be tougher than they were: "While I cannot personally attest to pretending to be tough, I have certainly observed this behavior in others. As an expert in cognitive biases, I've seen people project a tough exterior to mask their insecurities or to fit into certain social environments. Sometimes, these performances can be quite convincing, but they often unravel when the individual is faced with a situation that tests their mettle."
#6

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are "You don't want to see me mad"

Unless your name is Bruce Banner, STFU.

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#7

I went to lunch with a friend and a friend of his. The waiter was a little slow in bringing us our drinks and food because it was busy. So when our bills came, instead of leaving an actual tip, the other guy wrote something snarky as his "tip". I was really embarrassed and ask if he can refrain from doing that. He refused and then basically called me a wuss. I left a bigger tip on my bill to compensate and never wanted to be associated with that guy ever again.

You're a real badass now buddy - punching down on a retail worker who has to be at least polite to you to keep her job.

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They live off those tips. Not only did you give them basically nothing, but you actually tried to make it worse by making some comment you didn't have to. You're an absolute douche.

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky also shared that most people put on this tough facade: "I believe that many people do indeed pretend to be tougher than they are, often due to the influence of cognitive biases such as loss aversion and the status quo bias. Loss aversion makes people more sensitive to the prospect of loss than the potential for gain, so they may act tough to avoid being seen as weak or vulnerable. Similarly, the status quo bias leads people to prefer the familiar, so they may maintain a facade of toughness to keep up appearances and not risk disrupting their social standing."
#8

I'm prior enlisted in the Marines and I'm happy I was in, but now that I'm out that time has passed, I can't stand people that were in and it's their entire identity after they get out. All clothes are military stuff, vehicles covered in military decals, all they talk about is when they were in and so on.

For anyone that wasn't in, the easiest way to tell someone that was in the military but weren't in any kind of real combat situations is if they wear and do all that c**p.

Edit:spelling

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Snorkeldorf
Snorkeldorf
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work for a company that had numerous retired military clients. I was always careful as to how I addressed them verbally and in correspondence to be respectful. Some of them were real sticklers about that. One day I was speaking to a gentleman for the first time and I asked if I could call him "Colonel" or if he preferred something else. His reply? "Honey, I've been retired for 30 years. Please call me Sam."

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#9

I work in a psych hospital in a unit that is the roughest unit we have. We have a lot of people with violent histories and serious mental issues.

Without fail, the tougher someone acts, or the more intimidating they try to be is inversely proportional to how soft they actually are—and that goes for patients and staff alike.

The people you don’t want to f**k with are the ones who are confidently quiet.

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#10

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Demanding respect, but giving none to anyone.

yankstraveler , Yan Krukau Report

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#11

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are “I would have enlisted and probably made Special Forces, but I would have punched a Drill Sergeant if they had gotten in my face.”
Sure, bud.

aircavrocker , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Ba-Na-Na
Ba-Na-Na
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“I would have been a professor in super duper physicology but I was smarter than my instructors and punched the dean in the face”

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#12

Spousal and child abuse.

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S Schmidt
S Schmidt
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, the classic bully. And all bullies are cowards. In terms of male abusers at least, it's strange how many of them can control themselves if there is a bigger, stronger man in the room which means they can control their tempers when it suits them.

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#13

Moms who constantly threaten to go “mama bear” on people

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Irish woman abroad
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most mothers are capable of turning into a tigress when their baby is threatened, but they don't go around broadcasting that fact, in fact they may not even realise it's a thing until something happens to their child.

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#14

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Refusing to wear safety equipment like helmets when its available. True badasses (including truly skilled people) have goals in doing dangerous s**t, and they understand the challenges in carrying it out.

SilverYayFern , Ambitious Studio* - Rick Barret Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Katie Lutesinger
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw a car once with a bumper sticker saying "NO SEATBELTS. WE DIE LIKE REAL MEN". So.... unnecessarily and for reasons of your own stupidity? Okay.

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#15

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are I saw a massively lifted truck wit the words "ALPHA AS F**K" stamped across the windshield the other day, does that count?

gatheringdusk , Irfan Rahat Report

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#16

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Claiming to be "crazy" like it's something to aspire to. In this context it just means abandoning tact and acting like an a*****e to feel like a badass.

ETA: I'm not referring to people with legitimate illnesses. I'm referring to people who think acting like an a*****e makes them look tough.

anon , engin akyurt Report

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I'm a crazy Aries, mess with the bull and you'll get the horns." or some stupid s**t like that on a tshirt

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#17

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are My gf serves tables for work right now. Apparently yesterday some “tough” dude refused to write his signature with her pink pen simply because it was pink

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Elec Aire
Elec Aire
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're not "man" enough to write with pink, you're not "man" enough for any color 😂 "I AM ALL MAN! NOTHING GETS TO ME! I'M THE ALPHA!!!! NO ONE GETS TO ME! *Whispers* do you have one with an different ink? 🙄

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#18

Revving your engine loudly at a red light/ burning rubber just to hit the next red light

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#19

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are “When I get mad I blackout and lose control”

Okay buddy.

Edit: I’m disappointed that there’s some people replying that claim to black out.

anon , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Jesse Setliffe
Jesse Setliffe
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a serious problem if true, not something to brag about. Especially if it happens while driving.

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#20

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Joker profile pic

treeinaforest9 , Zachary Kadolph Report

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Joker is probably my favorite villain or just comic book character ever and y'all are out here misusing his name and image, come on. You aren't the joker but you are a clown

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#21

People in their 20s hanging around with prepubescent kids, thinking they are the top dawg. Doesn't have any friends their own age because people their age know what they are about.

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Ken Beattie
Ken Beattie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think anyone over 20 actually hanging out with kids who are what? Younger than 12? Has got to be problematic. I don't mean uncles/aunts taking nieces/nephews to do stuff. But if you're trying to hang out with random kids that age... yikes!

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#22

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Fancy car, no money in bank account

macaronsforeveryone , Bailey Alexander Report

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MontanaMariner
MontanaMariner
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know several guys with $70k trucks living in $20k single wides for the sake of image.

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#23

People who boast about bullying

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#24

"Alpha" males losing their s**t when their self image is even remotely challenged in any way.

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Cyber Returns
Cyber Returns
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did this to an 'alpha' and as he was screaming about how he could crush me I started chuckling and in a camp voice said "He is so butch, look you can see his Adams apple bouncing" then in a normal voice "Hey! Look! He has a hard on!"

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#25

One of my ex has a joker sleeve and a pickle rick tattoo. He also yelled that he was a *sigma male* and wouldn't be listening to an alpha.... as a response to a werewolf based RPG system. So... that. **Edit to add**: *I didn't expect this to be so popular or for so many people to tell me I f*****g deserved the abuse that ensued. Y'all are sick*

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#26

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Continually requesting a fight, but never actually starting the fight.

AlterEdward , Luis Quintero Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Katie Lutesinger
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw a guy try that on once, but the victim remained completely calm and collected and refused to be provoked even while being yelled at and threatened about how "I'M GONNA F**K YOU UP!!" Needless to say the guy doing the yelling and threatening eventually gave in and slunk away with his tail between his legs. A classic example of being tough vs being "tough".

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#27

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Anyone who gives themselves a tough-sounding nickname. They are to be earned, not self-imposed.

history7s , Davide De Giovanni Report

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MontanaMariner
MontanaMariner
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My earned nickname is Mule, because I'm stubborn and strong. Not a nickname anyone wants to brag about. 😂

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#28

The biggest indicator that you are not a baddass is telling me you are a baddass. If you have to tell me how important you are, you are not terribly important.

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#29

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Post bible quotes online about how you’re being tested.

For example my Aunt, who has never had a job, has barely ever left her hometown. Has posted this quote:

* “The devil whispered in my ear, ‘you are not strong enough to withstand the storm’. Today, I whispered in the devil’s ear, ‘I am the storm’.”*

With a puppy dog face. When her previous visible post was about traffic.

anon , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Rachel Reynolds
Rachel Reynolds
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Devil whispered "Your not strong enough to withstand the storm". I whisper back "At least I didn't lose my golden fiddle to a Georgia hillbilly"

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#30

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Saying ‘I’m a psychopath’.

jimmisjumbobumbo , Rene Asmussen Report

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#31

Picking on that one friend in the group around everyone and then acting like an offended little b***h when they even try to joke back with them.

Trying to start a fight with just about anyone that gives them a dirty look.

Buying a giant pick up truck that they need to climb into to just get in, and never even use the *bed of the truck for its purpose.

And finally… screaming/yelling at anyone who disagrees with them no matter how big or small the subject matter is.

Edit:*

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C.O. Shea
C.O. Shea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw a guy with a tricked out Tacoma. 35 inch tires... lift kit. Turned out it was a 4-cylinder 2-wheel drive.

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#32

I follow a guy on Instagram who try so hard to be a badass, always posting pictures of drinking black coffee, straight whiskey, smoking cigars, and he always has his handgun showing. But it's so easy to tell the only time he does these things is when he posts on Instagram.

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MontanaMariner
MontanaMariner
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the bros at the bar that act tough and order shots of Jack Daniel's or whatever, drink it, then make a face like they just ate poop, and pretend to act like they enjoy the flavor.

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#33

Bragging about how many people you’ve had sex with. No one really cares, and at worst, it’s a cause for concern.

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#34

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are guy at a Christmas party told me he could easily drink heavily and drive safely if he just concentrates. Half an hour later he passes out and falls on the Christmas tree.

edit: Infront of his boss and his whole family. I‘m 16 and he is 31. I‘m german so I drink too. I had to bring him to bed…

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#35

40 Signs Someone Is Trying To Look Way Cooler Than They Actually Are Talking about being the most badass zombie killer in a zombie outbreak when truth is most of us would simply die

Amy_Tar , cottonbro studio Report

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#36

Men who take their shirts off when they're mad, punch their chest like a gorilla and get red faced yelling. Usually someone's going to pull them back so nothings really going to happen, nor is anyone scared. It's all bark. If they can't stay calm, there's no doubt they're not tough.

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C.O. Shea
C.O. Shea
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watch how fast those same guys will wet themselves.

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#37

Telling the same stories from years back.


I have a friend whose only personality is that she is aggressive, always telling the same story from middle school where she apparently had a reputation. Acting like she is the toughest person and no one should mess with her. Fake confidence, extremely annoying.

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C.O. Shea
C.O. Shea
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend like that. Emphasis on past tense.

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#38

"I'm a psychopath!

One day I made my therapist cry and that's tooootally legit!


I'm insane! I have so many mental illnesses!"






Acquaintances I actually have to deal with.

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Lee F.
Lee F.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone who claims to know how to assemble and disassemble ANY firearm in under a minute. Because he has an app that shows him parts of guns. We live in Canada. He also tried to tell me my beach glass was quartz. Because of course, an app identified it as quartz. People are A LOT.

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#39

18 year olds with more tattoos then face on their face.

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#40

Most military styled clothing, almost none of the actual special teams people I know wear that c**p.
Maybe the occasional shirt or whatever but the guys wearing tons of it, yeah that’s nonsense

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similarly
similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid, back in the 70s and 80s, a LOT of people wore army surplus. Let me tell you: surplus stuff is good quality, comfortable, sturdy, and lasts FOREVER. I was a high school JROTC cadet, and as such, got to keep my shoes: army low quarters. Best pair of shoes I've ever had. Lasted 12 years. I have a pair of steel-toed combat boots that are fantastic work books. One of my favorite coats ever was a wool USSR surplus great coat. Loved that coat! Yeah, some people wear military stuff because it looks cool. Let it go. It's not hurting anybody, and especially if it's teens: I was teen who wore that stuff and thought I was cooler than I was. Everybody's entitled to be a kid for awhile.

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#41

Acting like they don’t need things like sunscreen because they are manly

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do yk what's manly? Being BURNT and in PAIN every summer and eventually getting CANCER and DYING because I'm a MAN and I don't need no suncream 😎

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#42

Aggressive responses to non aggressive situations. Nobody who’s really about that life WANTS to do things to people.

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Nosirrow
Nosirrow
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm scared of saying anything to my father bc while I'm polite, he may or may not get angry over nothing and start yelling. He's an alcoholic, so there's no hope.

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#43

Feeling threatened by other people's successes.

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#44

Driving a car without a seat belt and filming yourself speeding and putting it on Instagram or Facebook

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#45

Basically any statement of being tough at all--whether that be outright spoken or written or whatever. Letting people know you're tough is such a weak move. Tough people simply are that way and, a lot of the time, people would just have to f**k around to find out.

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MontanaMariner
MontanaMariner
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "tough statements" largely revolve around my tolerance to cold weather, because I'm cool. Haha. No I'm not.

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#46

A Punisher sticker on your car

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Rachel Reynolds
Rachel Reynolds
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Off topic, but why do those people always have blue lives matters stickers too? Or worse the Punisher skull with he blue line? Did you read the comics or watch the show? Frank hates cops.

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#47

Same picture of a lion that 20.000 others already posted to prove how they're not sheep that fall in line.

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#48

Jake Paul not fighting a trained professional boxer in his weight class

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#49

People that need to be the center of everything and they act special.

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#50

Only God can judge me

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Ty Stratton-Quirk
Ty Stratton-Quirk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be hilarious if someone said this, completely seriously, seconds before being struck by lightning.

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#51

Jesus, where do I start? Maybe humiliating people. The most frightening powerful people don’t need to prove themselves by making other people look small.

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#52

Keyboard warriors

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#53

“Hold me back”

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#54

Telling people how badass you are.

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#55

People who brag.

EDIT: I think most people understand what I mean but just to clarify, I’m not at all referring to being proud of your accomplishments or sharing your success with people you care about. That’s obviously healthy and good.

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Surenu
Surenu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only used 16 instead of the usual 20 swear words when I heard my alarm yesterday, does that count as an accomplishment?

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#56

Barbed wire tattoos.

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Jesse Setliffe
Jesse Setliffe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How else is he going to stop the milk cows from being rustled off his skin?

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#57

Tribal tattoos.

"Sure thing Chad. You and Brett and the rest of the Orange County Native Council, have our attention."

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#58

"I know karate"

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#59

Open carrying a gun

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MontanaMariner
MontanaMariner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Montana, surrounded by bear and meth. I concealed carry.

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#60

Getting your a*s beat in a fight you provoked.

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#61

“Don’t tread on me”

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#62

Pseudo edgy demeanor. A sort of sad deflector of your inner most insecurities that shine brighter and brighter the more you attempt to mask them.

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Boatswain Bill
Boatswain Bill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pseudo-intellectual psychological analyses like this post's second sentence is just as bad. You don't know a damned thing, son

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