Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors

Being a human is hard. There are so many physiological, psychological, social and cultural things that are in play all the time, there's bound to be hiccups every once in a while, if not more often.

And it's even more so a problem when a very complicated you have to pass on your worldly knowledge and skill on to your kids so that they won't make the same mistakes. But they're as complicated as everyone else!

And the vicious cycle keeps on perpetuating itself because of this, leading some to wonder about it. And much of today's wondering is done on Reddit, among other places, where, incidentally, we have one user asking folks what’s a sign that somebody wasn’t raised right?

Bored Panda collected the top answers to the now-viral thread, and has glued together the macaroni-art piece you can see below. So, upvote, comment, and discuss these and other signs someone wasn't raised right in the comment section below!

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors How they treat animals and people without power.

loganalytics , Sergey G Report

Final score:

443points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors If you go to someone's house, and they cook for you, you eat it with a big smile and lots of thanks, even if it was garbage.

My wife brought her friend over for lunch, I made pierogies, she goes "that's not a meal, that's a side" and goes to get Quiznos. Blew me away.

Someone's hospitality is the deepest respect they can show you. You have to give it back. How conscientious you are of that scenario is a good sign on how you were raised

Chip_Winnington , Taz Report

Final score:

443points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They always portray themselves as a victim. Nothing is ever their fault and somebody is always out to get them.

HighlyOffensive10 , Lindenlink Multimedia Report

Final score:

381points

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Stardust she/her 1 year ago

I’m a victim minded person. Each time something happens, I blame the other person and hold a grudge against them. Now I’m doing much better and have started owning up to my mistakes without unfairly blaming someone

205points

dof huggle 1 year ago

We're polar opposites. I blame myself for everything

35points

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Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 1 year ago

Well done for realising and making a change.

22points

pink_panda 1 year ago

This is so wonderful to hear, Stardust. I too was raised in a household with a victim mindset and am always working to take more responsibility in my life. We can get better and become more like the people we want to be!

13points

Bunzilla 1 year ago

Excellent personal growth :)

12points

Amanita Muscaria 1 year ago

Good for you! :)

11points

patricia patricia 1 year ago

You are ready to see your mistakes and make changes, and that requires a lot of courage

10points

Laura Jackson 1 year ago

Keep it up! We're rooting for you!😁👏🙏👍♥️

9points

PattyK 1 year ago

Also please accept that a person — any person — is not always to blame. Stuff happens.

7points

Baali Venomax 1 year ago

The root of that often starts in childhood if you were neglected or invalidated by parents or family members. Glad to hear you are managing to move past it.

6points

The Veil of Fire 1 year ago

"If its going to happen to someone its going to happen to me." Has been one of my life mottos since childhood. Its wonderful you (Stardust) have taken note of your previous behavior and quite glorious to take steps to change it. Its like trying to heal from addiction and will be a life long process or fight. There will be many frustrating times when you want to fall back into the old behavior but this is something so worthwhile to accomplish. The strength and self empowerment you are giving yourself is grand indeed. Keep it up. Keep trying. People will treat you better and you will have greater respect for yourself and from others.

5points

Chewie Baron 1 year ago

Well done Stardust!

4points

Marilyn Russell 1 year ago

That’s big - a real breakthrough. And the next step is to forgive ourselves for our own choices which caused much of our problems.

4points

BatPhace 1 year ago

Yay for personal growth! 😁

2points

Truth Hear it 1 year ago

Take responsibility for what you do but don't let other's gaslight you.

2points

Summer and Luna K 1 year ago

Good for you. It is NOT easy.

2points

that weirdo in ur closet 1 year ago

Yea, I do the same. I also have realised that a lot of the time, it is my fault, and do own up to it. I have realised how bad it is, and I’m trying to stop it.

2points

Sande Knight 1 year ago

Climbing up that hill every day builds character... ; (

1point

Mine Truly 1 year ago

Huge congrats for making it to this point! That takes true power, strength, and self-control.

1point

Seiun-kitsune 1 year ago

I've been working on this.

1point

RandomPanda648 1 year ago

The fact that you can admit your character defects goes a long way and shows you are working to change it

0points

Neir Lucan 1 year ago

That's awesome that you're trying to grow as a person! I know how hard it is to really strive to improve aspects of yourself that you don't like. Being raised well is the easy route. Seeing a flaw and improving it yourself is strength.

0points

V 2000 1 year ago

again but true Dump-63b45...0dd18d.jpg

8points

Julia Mckinney 1 year ago

Well, when you think about it, Newt Gingrich's "scorched earth" idea of handling politics and Rush Limbaugh's idea of weaponizing lies is how we got to Trump. So that's how we ended up with a lot of our current problems, including our current catastrophic climate change weather.

9points

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Laura Jackson 1 year ago

This perfectly describes my mother. I know she wasn't raised this way, my grandparents were absolutely wonderful people that raised 5 daughters. Mom is the only one that's like that. She also has some very extreme attention seeking behaviors. She was always like this a little bit, but after my father passed away suddenly 24 years ago she turned it into an Olympic event. Daddy spoiled her to death and was very overprotective of both her and myself. Sometimes people are a product of the home/environment, sometimes they've went through something so traumatic it changes them to their core. Either way it's sad.

6points

JoJo is 50 1 year ago

I thought I had everything figured out and I was pretty generous, but what I didn't realize is having the unfailing support of my father is what gave me my confidence. Once he died, my marriage ended up failing (not directly related but it did) and then I had no father and no husband, resulting in 7 years of hell. Takes a long time to figure oneself out.... Now I understand.

1point

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CHRIS DOMRES 1 year ago

The other kinds of people who always blame others are the righteous religious type and the judgemental perfectionist type. Both intolerable to be around.

5points

Randolph Croft 1 year ago

This is a sign of malignant narcissism. They are the only real person in the world - which is why they are always a 'victim' of 'other people.' Because 'other people' are always mean and nasty to them. Avoid these people like the Bubonic Plague.

4points

Anička 1 year ago

It's a sign of narcissism in general. But yes, avoid them if you can. 😬

0points

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1 year ago

*looks at my dad*

3points

Lee 1 year ago

That's a lot of people now a days

2points

Frando Bone 1 year ago

Higher on the list please!

2points

Parriah 1 year ago (edited)

That can actually KILL you. My brother died from alcoholism in 2019 at age 40. He believed none of his problems were of his own making, everyone was unfair, every awful thing he did was because of how someone else treated him, nothing was his fault but someone else's. That lack of personal accountability left him dying on the dirty carpet in his apartment all alone, because how could he fix anything wrong in his life when he wasn't doing anything wrong or that contributed to his hardships in the first place? How can you fix something you won't admit you broke? On my last birthday I became officially older than my older brother and that feels f*cking horrible. Not being responsible for your own mistakes and reckless choices and always blaming others can cost you everything way sooner than you can imagine. Rest in peace David.♡

1point

Cynthia Thurston 1 year ago

Like the sister who trips over her shoe laces and blames the other sister for tripping her...

1point

Christopher Creighton 1 year ago

Oh wait. I thought this was the soccer thread.

1point

N G 1 year ago

and then they sell their story to netflix

1point

Soaps 1 year ago

I worked with a guy like that. Everyone was the bully in the situation and he was the victim, which meant that 2 departments full of people were bullies. Even the union washed their hands of him because of all his false accusations.

1point

Captain Panda 1 year ago

My mother and sister...

1point

Ocean #Four 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Don Flynn 1 year ago

So much... This specific trait is one of the worst.

0points

Janet Howe 1 year ago

I'm just the opposite. I'm usually blaming myself when it's NOT EVEN my fault. Guilt complex. Lol.

0points

Joren Miner 1 year ago

I'm victim minded, but that's a result of how I was raised. As this article is pointing out... (Lol joke ofc)

0points

Marie Orlando 1 year ago

Oh I know lots of adults like this! One in particular, blaming all the men she had children with, then blames everything on the nan when they see her true colors and leave her. Sorry, after 3 times, it's their fault

0points

Maya Heet 1 year ago

my ex friend was like that, i literally still have emotional damage :( at least im not crying in the bathroom anymore :)

0points

Valdemar 1 year ago

This isn't necessarily a commentary on how the person was raised. It can also be a mental health issue or a result of past trauma, suggesting it's a reflection of how someone was raised is not necessarily correct.

0points

Sande Knight 1 year ago

It's called "mental illness."

0points

Sheila Cobb 1 year ago

Victim this 🖕

0points

Erin Charles 1 year ago

This doesn’t just pertain to people that weren’t raised right; I know plenty of people that were “raised right,” that have this mind set unfortunately.

0points

Cat Mom times 11 1 year ago

I have a friend like that

0points

John G 1 year ago

I see you have met my sister-in-law.

0points

Ruth Hempsey 1 year ago

Prince Harry, if you need an example.

0points

Johnny Storm 1 year ago

Oh man, flashback... Lots of flashback with certain relative.... 😂

0points

Agnes Kirsch 1 year ago

This is the traut of a narcissistic personality. People who act like that where often neglected or abused as children.

0points

Alvia Vseobecna 1 year ago

that is textbook narcissism not necessarily upbringing

0points

BluEyedSeoulite 1 year ago

This is my father. He goes through a new group of friends every couple of years, ghosts them when they start putting the pieces together. I noticed this pattern with another friend of mine that would drift in and out of my life every few years. Sure, there will be some fluctuations but if your friend group entirely changes every couple of years, maybe try talking to a therapist...

0points

Marilyn Russell 1 year ago

Yikes! That’s my sister.

0points

Evi Grimes 1 year ago

I had a friend like that. She was always determined to bring everyone down and hoard sympathy from others. She called herself my best friend, but turned her back on me when I needed her for the first time. I finally shed myself of that person. Ugh

0points

Jan Bowyer 1 year ago

Sounds like tfg's modus operandi

0points

Jonathan Kilpatrick 1 year ago

The word "victim" has become meaningless.

0points

patricia patricia 1 year ago

In many cases it has. It's a shame, because people get fed up and the real victims sometimes don't receive the help and attention they need. I hate it when people try to get their own way by playing the "I'm a victim" card.

0points

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Weirdest Bi You’ll Ever Meet 1 year ago

My sister. Now I stuck raising her daughter, as she does drug and plays with her new bf. With her doings she hated among her family and I have panic attacks when I see her. Her lies, narcissistic behaviors, and her choices led her to rock bottom and she doesn’t even care about her daughter. She neglected my niece and my niece had became unhealthily skinny. Please don’t become like this people, this isn’t even the top of the iceberg of what my sister had done.

0points

patricia patricia 1 year ago

I don't know the details, so forgive me if I'm wrong. Just a piece of advice. Document everything you do. Inform the police or the court of justice of everything related to your niece, how neglected she was and what you are doing for her. Keep receipts, invoices, applications, everything. I'm sure you do it because you live the girl, but bear in mind that the mother might appear in some years time and take the girl with her. You need to be able to prove the kid was abandoned and you looked after her for years. You are brave and you deserve the best.

1point

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors If they make messes in public areas and just wander off (leaving trash in the theater, not flushing, leaving the cart in a parking space).

Edit: forgot the theater thing is the norm in Britain! I meant in general, leaving a mess where it's not supposed to be.

swervefire , Jon Seidman Report

Final score:

359points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Disrespecting people for doing their job.

indinicove , ttarasiuk Report

Final score:

343points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They act like mental illness is something you can just get over.

Chill_Franchfries , Nicholas Canup Report

Final score:

341points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors How they treat people from whom they have nothing to gain.

anon , Chloe Muro Report

Final score:

300points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They don’t take responsibility for their actions.

Esorier , Imogene Huxham Report

Final score:

287points

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Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors How they act as a boss when their employee messes up.

Yelling and belittling shouldn’t be your first option.

EpicBlinkstrike187 , darkday Report

Final score:

272points

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#10

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They never say please or thank you.

writerintheory1382 , wadebetter Report

Final score:

272points

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#11

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Someone that does things to intentionally hurt another persons feelings after they’ve expressed that, that certain thing hurts their feelings.

JadeM05 , shellhawk Report

Final score:

244points

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#12

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Not respecting personal boundaries.

If you're wondering why someone has these sorts of issues, take a look at their parents.

Wearer_of_black , Phil Denton Report

Final score:

236points

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#13

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They whistle, snap their fingers, or make that "pspsps" sound to get their server's attention in a restaurant.

evil_agent_perry , SidewaysSarah Report

Final score:

229points

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#14

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors We lost a beloved pet today, one of our friends said "time to get another". This happened today! I'm not sure if he's stupid, insensitive or just an a*s know we're not friends anymore.

princessaurus_rex , Mohamed Nanabhay Report

Final score:

216points

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#15

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors You give them a lift and they leave rubbish in your car.

kitjen , Keenan Pepper Report

Final score:

213points

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#16

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Who are the guys who spit out their chewing gum into urinals? I see this all the time at work and I work in a high end corporate place. Do they think it disolves and goes down the pipe? The janitor has to pick that out.

NealR2000 , Dan Ox Report

Final score:

200points

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#17

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors The word "no" just means throw a fit and be as obnoxious as you can be until you get your way. "No" does not mean that rules are rules or someone's job might be on the line, they're the important one, not anyone else.

llcucf80 , UnknownNet Photography Report

Final score:

193points

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#18

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They one-up you *all the time*.

maleorderbride , Steven Lilley Report

Final score:

192points

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#19

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors I know a few of these types of people, and they tend to have one or more of the following traits:

* They are disrespectful to everyone, not just authority figures. Watch how they treat customer service or retail staff.

* They have no manners in general, or only use manners when they absolutely have to in order to preserve their own interests.

* They are cruel to people and/or animals, and laugh at the suffering of others.

* They are selfish.

* They destroy things, steal, and cheat. Some also commit more serious crime.

* They expect handouts from everyone.

* They shirk hard work and responsibility whenever they can.

* They complain a lot, and constantly act like they are a victim.

* They are terrible parents to their own children.

BlackCaaaaat , Alper Çuğun Report

Final score:

185points

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#20

They gossip about others and will be vindictive behinds people’s backs, but pretend to be sweet to their face.

cucumberMELON123 Report

Final score:

173points

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#21

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Not putting the cart back at the grocery store.

01kaj10 , Paul Swansen Report

Final score:

164points

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#22

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Turning conversation back to themselves at all cost.

Being a good listener is a sign of a person raised well.

Edit: to clarify, I don’t mean quiet or a doormat. I mean generous, empathetic, supportive and curious. Good follow-up questions without making it about oneself, etc.

anon , Steve Jurvetson Report

Final score:

152points

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#23

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors People who don’t offer to help you clean up when they are visiting you.

Like having friends over and them leaving you with all the beer bottles, bowls and glasses on the table. I don’t mind cleaning up, but I always offer when at someone else house. You make the mess together.

anon , Trix and friends Report

Final score:

152points

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#24

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors Chewing with their f*****g mouth open...

YSOSEXI , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

149points

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#25

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They don't know how to do normal household stuff. I've seen people that don't even know how to make their own coffee or clean a toilet.

Edit: I only mentioned making coffee as an example. If you don't know how to make coffee because you don't drink it, that's fine.

ImInJeopardy , George N Report

Final score:

137points

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#26

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors If they have zero manners.

bydneybevens , Brendon Connelly Report

Final score:

135points

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#27

Thinking abusive/manipulative behaviors are the norm.

slamdoorscarface24 Report

Final score:

126points

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#28

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They apologize for every little thing. Probably a sign that they grew up with abusive parents that got mad over anything and everything.

potatozceuncher , Hemmerling Law Report

Final score:

102points

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#29

They will never try to defend something they believe using logical reasons.

_Stalwart_ Report

Final score:

100points

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#30

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors I'm gonna answer this literally.

As a teacher, I see there's a lot of different values that go into parenting styles, some that aren't my values but still raise a productive, responsible, and successful child. But there is evidence of bad parenting from a child development point-of-view.

-Is extra clingy and implies or outright states your their sole custodian for their well-being.

-Is incredibly aggressive about getting their way or being correct all the time.

-Responds to slights or inconveniences violently.

-Is extremely withdrawn and doesn't care for self.

-On the flip side, is very self-sufficient from a very young age and also has anxiety and/or depression.

-Seeks attention constantly. Not just a lot, but *constantly.*

Obviously, the child abuse signs are indicators of not being raise right, and only apply here to actual children, but it never hurts to remind people of them:

-Has suspicious bruising/injuries on body where it's not normal to have injuries (ex. bruised forehead and skinned knees are normal on toddlers, black eyes are not)

-Carefully covers parts of the body that would not normally be covered (Ex. Won't roll up sleeves even a little on hot days which, bonus, is also a sign of self-harm)

-Is inappropriately sexual and/or knowledgable about sexuality for age group

-Is weirdly afraid to be alone with another person. Not just, I dont want to go home because my dad's gonna give me a whuppin for starting a fight at school, but something like finding a lot of excuses to not hang out with an older cousin ever

-Is often dirty, stinky, soiled

-Is often underfed

-Tells you they are being abused

I took this way too seriously, but there you go!

EDIT: People are commenting with personal situations that involve the warning signs of child abuse I mentioned, but aren't child abuse in their case. This is what makes it so hard to detect. Kids are always bruised, stinky, and secretive. What's important is to keep an open mind, and sort of observe a pattern of signs and behaviors. If alarm bells go off, our first impulse is to explain it away, but making an anonymous tip is not as harmful as people believe. In my experience, nothing is even investigated until the reports pile up unless you physically witness the abuse.

EDIT 2: Just to be clear, the first list just means the parents or household should be better to optimally encourage the wellness of a child. The second is of warning signs of abuse.

maxtacos , Scott Report

Final score:

91points

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#31

They don't ask about/say hi to your family members when they come over. I've seen people completely ghost my parents as they walk through the house and I couldn't wrap my head around it honestly.

Edit: I realised that alot of people actually may be forced into this by any form of anxiety or any mental-issues/traits they have, I just want to clarify that this is not targetting those people at all, just the people that straight-out were never taught that this isn't polite or knew that and never acted on it.

OhMySamir Report

Final score:

17points

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#32

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors They don’t actually listen to what you’re saying, are just trying to formulate a response.

Edit: just want to clarify what i meant. the person I’m thinking of who does this, does this as a means of not really caring about your opinion, trying to make you look inferior, and rather than listening to why you feel the way you do, they want to try and just prove you wrong. i hope that makes sense. like not being interested in having a discussion, more interest in showboating their own opinions/beliefs/experiences. i think that makes someone selfish, therefore maybe not raised right. i could be wrong.

fillupthesky , Brian Evans Report

Final score:

14points

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#33

When they say that they deserved being physically abused.

anon Report

Final score:

13points

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#34

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors We know someone that won’t get a checking account/Direct Deposit because “the banks just steal your money”, and he takes his paycheck to a check-cashing/payday loan shop instead.

We also know his mom, who is in her mid-40s and on her 3rd bankruptcy.

Edit: Not discounting the likelihood that mom destroyed his credit long ago and still would empty his account today if given the chance (which still falls in the "raised wrong" category if you ask me), but we're talking about a 20 year old guy living with mom no rent/no car/no kids that shouldn't have any substantial debts/expenses of his own to make overdraft fees an issue.

AllGarbage , Carlos Varela Report

Final score:

11points

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#35

Folks Online Think People Who Weren’t Raised Right Show Clear Signs Of It With These 30 Behaviors I'd say on the other end of the spectrum, if someone is anxious about simple social interactions, like sharing their opinions.

Lapsha_Ffa , schleikmeister Report

Final score:

10points