My whole family. In fact, my uncle said as much or rather yelled it at me, as we were driving to the lawyer's office after my mother died. I've lived in this city my whole life, been driving these roads for nearly 30 years, I suggested he should get over to the right lane so he could take off the highway. he starts screaming at me "I'm older than you, I've been driving longer than you, I know better than you, you know nothing because you're just a child" I'm 43 and my 14 year old son was sitting in the back seat...

This can cause serious emotional/mental health damage down the road.

Or parents who just don't care or are too busy to notice. I've struggled with this because I was bullied both by classmates and teachers. My parents were nowhere to be found. Now they are in complete denial. Took me a while to understand that my failures were not always my fault. Now I make sure not to make the same mistake with my daughter, who tends to doubt her abilities. I would hate myself if she started to actually believe it.

THIS

I think of respect as more of a garden. Everyone has a plant in my garden. When you show respect to me you water and feed that plant. When you disrespect me your plant withers and dies. But everyone starts with at least a baseline of respect. I don't like the idea that respect is earned, like you start at zero, or that someone is due complete respect until shown otherwise. Respect is cultivated, and if you want someone to respect you, you are responsible for that cultivation

Also, never actually teaching them how to do things so that they are crippled in any attempt to live on their own.

Mom always yells at me and threatens to punish me for crying or being angry but’s it’s perfectly fine for her to do it

This. By the time I was twelve, I was taking care of my half-siblings while my folks were at the bar. I was expected to clean, cook, iron my stepfather's shirts, and do the laundry, all while volunteering and maintaining an A average. I can't BELIEVE how easy it is to be an adult, because I have freedom now. I moved out of state at 17 and everything got much, much better.

Also, the silent treatment. Sometimes I argue with my mom and she snaps back asking why I'm arguing. At times she refuses to accept that I'm a separate human being capable of anger and having my own opinions. If that's the case she just stops talking to me so that I feel obliged to apologise even if it's not my fault.

"Was I really such a terrible mother?" Any time you dare to bring up traumatic events from the past.

“I could be dead on my couch drawing flies and you wouldn’t care” -My dad

When their kid then says "one can only hope" or "looking forward to that day"

My mother.She's in her 70s and still doing it! I recently discovered that she was blackmailing my sibling into doing what she wanted her to do by threatening she'll jump off the building.

The best thing to say when your parents say this is: "Clearly, my opinion doesn't matter to you, so why do you seek it? Does trying to make me feel guilty make you feel better? Is that how low your self-esteem is? You KNOW what you're doing isn't right, so lead by example and show me how a REAL adult would react in this situation." It's best to make them self-evaluate. That's how you grow as a person.

"Maybe I'm not a good mother" Honey, stop...you are...you taught me everything I dont want to pass on to when(or if) I have children...trust me...you've done enough good to last me a lifetime

My ex..

The passive agressive martyr

My grandmother

Gaslighting

True

If you're the kind of person who justifies child abuse with "My parents hit me all the time and I grew up fine", you didn't, in fact, grow up fine.

I have a serious case of this at home. So glad I'm not alone.

This. Like children are just supposed to nod and comply. They’re not your slave. If you don’t want to hear what they have to say you really shouldn’t have had kids at all.

The WORST people I’ve known hid behind the Bible

We don't demand unconditional attention, love, and respect from a pet, why should we do so from a child?

Yes, can cofirm. Also, an interesting fact I'd like to add: when adult survivors of childhood (psychological) abuse look back at situations in their childhood, they typically appear to themselves as much older and more mature than they actually were.

I had years of this. I finally got my mother to stop contacting me by printing out a list of "Adverse Childhood Experiences" and checking off the ones I was subject to under her rule. Final score: eight out of ten. As an abusive narcissist, she can't admit what she's done, and this rude awakening did what nothing else could. It stunned her into silence.

Yes yes yes yes I hate it.

"You're such a drama queen!" "Why do you have to be so defensive all of the time?" "STOP THAT CRYING." Yeah, you torment us, we break and respond, and WE'RE the ones who are wrong? No, that's just abuse.

I cannot dry dishes. It triggers massive PTSD attacks even at age 46. My mom would make me dry the dishes every night with a single towel - lots of dishes -- and berate me constantly that I "did it wrong". Every night. Oh and yes, we had a dishwasher. She was insane about rules for it, you could barely use it and never, ever in the summer.

This is often where weaponized (Christian) forgiveness comes in, too. We all know the rhetoric. "How can you hang on to anger like this?" "Honor your father and mother!" "You seem like such an angry, sad person. You need to forgive and let go." No, actually, I'm allowed to be angry and resentful, have feelings, and hold others accountable for their abuses. Sorry it made Grandma cry, but the ones who were "disrespectful" were the relatives who molested me, not me for finally outing it.

I have to disagree with " to there a little minds" and "may not have a bad day like and adult would" because there day might be worse than an adults and it might not just be small. I had a earth-shattering panic attack at 10 and laid on the floor unable to move after my knees buckled because the earth and walls were shrinking and the only thing I could say for my hour of hardly breathing was "I'm not good enough, why can't I be perfect." I also had depression at 11 and contemplated suicide. So yeah a kids day can really suck sometimes

I relate to the first two, like a lot

I've mentioned before that my childhood was pretty much a constant gauntlet of bullying and sexual abuse. Every. Single. Time. I mustered the courage to beg my mom to help me, she deflected and made it like it was my fault. My stepfathers had SUCH hard childhoods, I needed to be more understanding, and not put so much stress on them. So-and-so was abused. So-and-so was in Vietnam. So-and-so had mean parents. Maybe I should consider that one of my four-dozen tormenters at school were going through a rough time at home? Or were sad? Or hurt? Maybe I should try reaching out and being friends? OR HEY, MAYBE MY ABUSE AND PAIN WAS JUST AS BAD, MOM? "Hurt people hurt people" is not a f*****g "get out of jail free" card, especially not when it's suggested that, because they had a bad childhood, they now get to destroy mine, too. STOP VICTIM BLAMING CHILDREN. It's not their job to make life easier or more bearable for the adults. If you're that hurt, get therapy.

I swear thats my dad with my brothers

What this means is that your parents don't genuinely love you. They "love" you (huge quotation marks) but it means they don't want you to communicate with them to force them to exert any effort whatsoever pretending they actually care you were born. So you ask a question, it's an inconvenience because you're not supposed to be there... you're just there for the tax breaks... they want you to be more like a stuffed animal or a caged hamster.

I’ve had to do cello since second grade. My mom’s side of the family has always done some sort of music thing, but it stresses me out so much. She just won’t let me quit.

This is so, so hard. The way my mom phrased it was "Your father loves you as best as he can." That was the only way to understand why he never called, wrote, or had any interest in us except for maybe once a year for a "family" thing where he needed to look like a good dad in front of his brothers. Two insecure, stupid teenagers got married and crapped out kids for all sorts of insecure reasons to make themselves feel important and fulfilled before they'd grown up at all themselves, and then embarked on years of fights and cheating and open marriage? You both sucked, Mom and Dad.

I see so much of this coming directly from Gen X-ers and growing up as latchkey kids. So many swung that pendulum in the extreme opposite direction as parents themselves that now I have students who start college and have never completed a homework assignment without a parent. They break down at every step of a project or paper because the second they were a little uncomfortable, Mom or Dad would swoop in. Now they have zero life/coping skills.