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There are people who have been dreaming about creating a family ever since they were kids and that's basically the main goal of their life. And while some of those folks want to have a large family with multiple kids, some think that 1 or 2 is more than enough. However, there are also those who want to live child-free lives. They don’t like kids, don’t really see joy in creating a family and that’s not how they aspire to live. And despite various opinions out there about childless people, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. According to statistics, 1 in 5 people don’t want to have children.

Speaking about that, I think many people would agree that it's far better to not have kids than to have them and be unhappy with the decision. Besides, it would probably do no good not just for the parents but for their children as well. On that note, a person on Reddit asked netizens to share signs that show that a person should not become a parent. Here's a list of 42 of these red flags that folks believe indicate unsuitable parents.

More info: Reddit

#1

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you’re thinking of having kids so they can be your retirement plan then please. Don’t.

Pizzawithchickensoup , Pixabay Report

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LizzieBoredom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never heard anyone say "I had kids because I thought I'd be a good parent".

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#2

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) Not wanting kids.

W-S_Wannabe , Lisa Fotios Report

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Ace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yupp. The best, indeed the only, reason for not wanting kids. It doesn't, or shouldn't, need any explanation.

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#3

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you care too much about getting one gender of child and not having the same desire for the other. Parental love needs to be unconditional

DeviousDapper , RDNE Stock project Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think secretly most women have a favorite gender, but when they actually get the opposite gender they love them just the same

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#4

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You think spanking children is cool because your parents did it to you and you "turned out fine".

heelspider , Allan Mas Report

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Rain Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is this downvoted? People agrees that hitting your kid is okay because they 'turned out fine" ?

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#5

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you have mental health issues and can barely keep yourself happy let alone raise a human being. I quit booze five years ago.

I’m a 38 year old male and have just started to get my life together and find some semblance of happiness. We’ve both been in therapy now and are making leaps and bounds.

We had both had very tough childhoods being indigenous and all.

I highly doubt my parents held us in their arms and thought ‘I can’t wait to abuse and neglect you’. I don’t think that’s how these things happen but it did. None the less, for the sake of my own sanity and that of my spouses (who also is on her mental health journey and 15 years into our relationship), it is the most loving thing we could’ve done for ourselves and that of our would be children.

Snak3Doct3r , Andrew Neel Report

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Niki A
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone with mental health issues, I can tell you that it is a struggle. I suffered a few forms of abuse as a child, and as a result I have some issues. I am not abusive by far, but my ADHD and PTSD sometimes make me anxious and difficult to understand. If you have issues you need help BEFORE you have kids. I didn't get help until AFTER. My kids love me very much and think I am a good mom, but I could have been a GREAT mom if I had sought therapy long ago.

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#6

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) Don’t have kids if you’re a man and you think your wife will do all of the work. It’s not possible. You have to parent too. She will resent you. It doesn’t work like that.

hypnochild , Caleb Oquendo Report

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Headless Horseman
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone like this. His wife has a full time job as a cardiology nurse, he has a full time job as a project manager of his own business. Both difficult and time consuming jobs, no judgment there from me. He still expects her to do all the housework, childcare, and shopping. He is only just now learning to care for his own kids while also managing a full time job. But, their house is awfully dirty because he refuses to help her or even do it for himself once in awhile 🙄. They've been together forrrr.. 8 years? 3 kids, oldest is 7. Yeah.

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#7

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you treat animals poorly / abuse animals. People often treat animals similarly to how they treat children.

HeartOfTheFrozenCrow , Ellie Burgin Report

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LizzieBoredom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, but I'm only buying 5 kinds of Fancy Feast so I hope they're all happy with that.

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#8

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You view your child as a mould in which you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all of your failed aspirations and ambitions on them and forcing them to be something they are not.

Rather than acknowledging your role as a guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help them discover and forge their own identity and loving them even more because of it.

SublimeVibe , Caleb Oquendo Report

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Ace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only an actual parent could write this, and it's referring to other actual parents. Nobody goes into parenthood thinking that they will be like this, even if they turn out to be so.

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#9

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) if you do it in the hopes of "saving" or "advancing" your relationship, or if you wish to "compensate" for perceived lack of personal achievements

Comprehensive_Day511 , Markus Spiske Report

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Leslie B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate it when women will get pregnant to hold on to a man. Like, have some self-respect and respect others. That's a human child, not a toy.

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#10

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you demand your child to be like you and share the same beliefs/opinions as you.

zrru , RDNE Stock project Report

#11

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you obsess over having a cute baby without actually having any experience taking care of babies/kids. The cuteness does NOT fully compensate for the energy, time, patience, and UNCONDITIONAL love needed to properly raise a child.

People see babies as objects or status, and then get frustrated when they actually have to parent. This typically leads to some sort of abuse because the parents are emotionally immature and don’t realize that kids need so much guidance. You’re literally developing a brain from scratch… parenting is not what a lot of people think.

patternsrcool , Pixabay Report

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Headless Horseman
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom has 4 kids only because she wanted a daughter to primp and call princess, to treat like a trophy of some kind. I am that daughter. If I had been her second child, she would have only had 2 kids. I beg you, my fellow pandas, to not do this to your children.

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#12

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) if you are homo-/transphobic or have other very bigoted and narrow-minded views. your kid might come out as gay/trans, and you should be the one to support them and protect them from haters, not be one of them. if you can't love your kid, no matter what, you should not have kids.

Comprehensive_Day511 , Anete Lusina Report

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Sean
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are way too many stories out there of parents abusing or kicking out their own children just because they are LGBT. I get “sincerely held beliefs”, etc. but I cannot fathom how anyone could treat their own child that way.

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#13

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you can't look after yourself first

whetstonereek , Madison Inouye Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think many parents, especially mums, don't have the social net that's needed to raise a child anymore- and thus no time to look after themselves first

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#14

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you're doing it just because everyone else is

EllsyP0 , Kids Work Chicago Daycare Report

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Ace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty sure this would apply to the vast majority of parents globally. Cultural and family values not allowing for the possibility of not having children, so at no point is the question "Do I want children?" ever asked.

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#16

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you want to use them for content on your social media account.

AnonymousPopotamus , Solen Feyissa Report

#17

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) 1. You hate humans
2. You can barely take care of a house plant.
3. You are broke AF

Xcalat3 , Teona Swift Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate a lot of humans and plants and me don't get along, but I love my chick like nothing else on this world. Ok, I'm not broke though,that being the deciding factor

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#18

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you can't feed the baby then don't have a baby

Verlepte , Sydney Troxell Report

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Surenu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With the obvious exception of mothers being forced to carry to term an unwanted pregnancy.

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#19

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You had a traumatic childhood and haven’t put in much work healing from it. You’ll transfer a lot of harm unintentionally to your kids, and likely choose poor partners, as you’re attracted to people who mimic your trauma inducing parental figures.

bristolbulldog , Dexon Dave Silva Report

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Headless Horseman
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I have been in therapy for many years and my husband and I have been together for 4 now. We decided together that I am ready for children now and we will be bring our first baby home in just a few months 🥰. I feel that I did it right.

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#20

Because you're a narcissist and just want a copy of yourself

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Steph
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had this guy tell me on a first date he wanted children with me. Now, as a woman you probably should feel flattered. Well, good thing I asked him „why?“. He 100% meant what he said then: „because my genes Are too good Not to pass on.“ Such a prick! Glad I didn‘t waste time on a second date with him. (Though I‘ve got to admit he was very good looking and a very talented person, but a narcissist is an absolute no-go)

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#21

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) Selfish. The most honest thing I ever heard was a family friend tell me "I realised once I had him I could never have more. I'm to selfish, I want things too and I dont want to spread my time and money further. I love him and would do anything for him now but I'd never do it again" it's OK to be selfish in that way but better to realise it before a few kids.

Edit : there is more one type of selfish. There is many many types of selfish on both sides (kids vs no kids) this comment is about the specific type of selfish shown above. A selfish that Is perfectly ok to feel

crocodiletown , Анастасия Триббиани Report

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#22

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you’re not a fan of being peed on… If you like silence more than 2 minutes per day… If you like spending your own money on things you want/need… If you don’t enjoy being a human jungle gym… If you’re sensitive to people liking what you cook… If you don’t want to get good sleep anymore…and it continues as you stay awake waiting for your teen to get home safe

Personal_Conflict_49 , Audrey Report

#23

The world is on fire and we can't afford to live

genexsen Report

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Michele Monfrecola
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that who don't realise this is more willing to make they're children orrible people for the health of our planet just like them, yes some kids may turn good unlike parents, but if all the "good caring people" stops having children and educating them to the good things of life (and supporting them through the bad) then it would remain only bad parenting with angry traumatized child who doesn't care about the world we live on but just fulfilling their traumatic needs, isn't that worse? (Asking for a friend :p)

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#24

Just knowing it's not for me

rodriguezj625 Report

#25

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You are not yet stable enough in your life and finances to properly raise a child.

Skwerilleee , Nicola Barts Report

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Linda Garcia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was only 18 when I got pregnant. I had never been around babies before and had never even held one. I had low paying jobs but was living by myself and got by. Once I held my son, I was instantly besotted and we spent every moment together doing things which cost no money. We played at the park, went on picnics and had make believe adventures. He is now 49 and I am still besotted with him. He turned out amazing.

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#26

I do not care to change my standard of living. I want to continue traveling overseas without impediment

Freak_Out_Bazaar Report

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I’mSoEmotional
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My MIL asked me one day why I didn't have children (with her son,who has a daughter from a prior marriage.) I didn't feel that I should even have to answer this question, as not everyone wants kids. Plus I have never heard anyone ask someone "so why did you choose to HAVE children?"

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#27

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You're not mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities that parenting entails, you're still thinking of yourself first and aren't willing to put someone else in that position, and if you think the child's income is your retirement plan lol

deanfranz12 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

#28

You don’t like children. Or people for that matter.

Tranquil-Soul Report

#29

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You're not in your late 20s yet. I wouldn't recommend becoming a parent your whole adult life.

Lailalou08 , Wendy Wei Report

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Leslie B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My former sister-in-law is 34. She has six children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 8. I love my nieces and nephews to pieces but just, no.

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#30

if you have a genetic or hereditary disease that has no cures or chronic and very tiresome, like cancers, diabetes, Huntington's disease, etc...

till genetic modification becomes an everyday routine. you will probably be bringing another sick person to suffer into this world.

HorrorNSlobber Report

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Leslie B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband has neurofibromatosis which has a 50% chance of being passed on. I have mental health issues that were inherited. To knowingly do that to an innocent child is abusive. We both took steps to prevent pregnancy. It was a hard decision, it hurt like hell to have to make it, but I'm glad we did.

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#31

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) I always tell people "Go buy a dog first and see how you do".

Want something that loves you unconditionally? Go buy a dog. Dont make a kid.

Want something that will s**t all Over your carpet, test your patience, and test your teaching abilities? Go buy a dog.

Want something you have to plan your life around? Go buy a high-energy dog and keep it indoors (see what happens)

That will test whether you are ready for a kid.

If your answer is "just put it in the yard and leave it there", youuuuuu really shouldn't have a kid.

xJD88x , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

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Headless Horseman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At first I was thinking "OP is comparing human children to dogs" but then OP kept talking and now I'm thinking "these criteria make sense, good points"

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#32

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) Anger Issues and the fact that you didn't go to therapy.

Self insert, don't mind me.

KitkitKate , Alex Green Report

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Dread Pirate Roberts
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be sooo much closer to the top. Anger issues are one of the worst things a parent could have. If you're easily enraged, do NOT have kids. They don't deserve to suffer through that.

#33

You lose patience over basic inconveniences

sew1tseams Report

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#34

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) You're expecting the child to be your caregiver when it grows older.

SilentSerel , Noelle Otto Report

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Rain Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is literally business. I don't trust people who give birth to kids as they will 'take care' of him/her later on life .

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#35

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) If you really enjoy your "me time" and have little tolerance for stupid s**t.

wickedblight , cottonbro studio Report

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Cloudy
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I enjoy my me time, but have a decent tolerance for stupid s**t thanks to my brother (edit: oh bp censored it)

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#36

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) Not wanting kids and the responsibilities that come with them

Queen_of_Tudor , Michael Scialdone Report

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Mbfsc63
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Truth. It's selfish to have kids you don't want. I am 60 and NEVER regretted not having children.

#37

You call children weird childfree jargon like "cum pets" or "crotch goblins" without any sense of how weird and gross that is

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#38

Being selfish. Kinda like me. I am more concerned with what I wanna do. If I had a child it would not be good.

stankdick69er Report

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Dread Pirate Roberts
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least they admit to it lol and they have the decency to not ruin a kid's life.

#39

“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers) * If you have genetic issues you could pass on. Like why on earth do you want to bring ill or disabled kids into the world?
* When you have mental issues yourself. Heal yourself instead of suffer and pass on.
* When you can barely feed yourself.
* When you already have sleeping problems.
* When you like your free time and dont want to give that up
* When you are not willing to put your life on hold for 20 years and put a child on number 1.
* when you dont have a good stable relationship. No a kid isnt going to fix your relationship/marriage. Its actually a fact that they make it worse.
* when you have sensory problems. And dont like to be touched or loud noices.
* When you live for your career.
* When you want to have a mini-me. You are going to have a entirely new person with own thoughts, dreams and wishes, not a clone of yourself.
* When you want to pass on a legacy. You are forgotten in 3 generations. Lets be honest 99,9% of the people cant remember past their great grandparents. tons of people dont even know their great grandparents.
* When you want a kid because they are cute and all your friends have one. Oh boy, look past the kodak moments a baby is more than just the cute moments.
* When you cant give them a good future. Dont have kids in poverty. Its hard enough for us now to survive in this world. Its going to be so much worse in 20 years.

GoodAlicia , Królestwo Nauki Report

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Ace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of these are really dodgy. Someone who has managed through life living with an inherited condition should in no way be forced to feel like that the possibility of passing it on to children should stop them from having a family.

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#40

You're planning on using them as a retirement plan.

If all you want is a mini-me, you should not have kids. They're individual people, whether you like it or not

If you believe having children is the only way one can have a legacy.

If you think it's going to fix your relationship or help you keep them. Let them go.

If you expect there to be a village there for you 24/7 and don't plan on bringing anything to the village.

2020s_Haunted Report

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#41

With the mid-latitudes quickly becoming uninhabitable there will be a worldwide mass migration, lots of disease, even slaughter, disruption of goods/conveniences everyone enjoys, and sea currents gone wrong thereby ruining commercial sea products. It's all happening now, is fed by emissions we created 30 years ago (we burn more oil every year), and will all go faster than climatologists are willing to tell us. We won't try in earnest to solve it until we are entirely unable to execute any real plan. A solar deflector out in space is just a terrible idea. Why send anyone to that future?

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#42

Your child will have to be born on food stamps / medicaid

zerosdontcount Report

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Timbob
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did no one mention finding out when they’re teens, that you are the most stupid person on the face of the earth !