“What Are Some Signs You Should Not Become A Parent?” (30 Answers)

I agree, don't do this. Too much pressure on the kids, and they may not help when the time comes. We all know families where one kid does it all, the sibs don't pitch in. Heck, I'm living that now, and it's not fun. Yes, I'm the one taking care of mom. I love her, but it would be nice to have some help.

Much better to save the money you would've used raising a child as a retirement plan.

This was only a good plan in the 1800s and before that. Because people lived on farms and parents were dependent on kids to help with the farm work and to take over the farm when they (the parents) couldn't work on the farm anymore. So.... if you want kids as a retirement plan I'd say you are living in the wrong time in history. You are off by several centuries.

Well, in some third world countries it‘s exactly the very reason to have children, the more, the better. Doesn’t mean these children aren‘t beeing loved by their parents.

Please upvote this. People need to be more accepting of people who don't desire to have kids. It should be accepted without judgement or unnecessary comments.

I was 8 when I told my mom I was never having children, and 55 years later I have zero regrets about keeping my word.

That is profound !

Should be a given.

I thought I wanted only boys until I got pregnant....at that point, all I wanted was that precious baby. Im very lucky to have 2, now adult, kiddos.

My partner and I have one girl and almost two boys (pregnant with the second currently) the amount of times we hear "you're SO lucky you have both" is actually insane, no we're lucky that they're happy most the time and healthy, that they're best friends and protect each other.

Look when I got pregnant I really wanted a girl but was going to be happy either way. I honestly didn't care what the gender was. I was lucky and got a girl but trust me if it had been a boy I would have been just a thrilled.

My bf and I wanted to have a boy so much. We had a name ready and everything. And now we have 3 girls and we love them all to bits. I guess we'll end up with a male pet that we can call the name we wanted for a son. 😁

Gender reveal parties are stupid too.

If you think that you did not turn out fine...

When I was in elementary school (in the mid-80's), my parents did not sign the consent form that would have let the school spank me with a wooden paddle when I got in trouble. Frankly, I'm amazed at my parents restraint, because I had a lot of behavioral issues stemming from ADHD and I was constantly getting in trouble. The only time my dad put a hand on me was when he pushed me up against a wall by the throat (he wasn't choking me, just restraining me) after I threw a pair of scissors at my mom and they stuck in the door like a throwing knife about a foot from her head.

In my country the children are not just spanked, they are hit with absolutely anything that is within reach: stick, spoon, belt, steel plate, chopping board, etc. And this is very normal for most parents as they think that the child deserves this for disobeying them.

There are times, and children, where "gentle parenting" just doesn't work! Times, and children, that "time-outs", grounding, and other forms of discipline just don't do the job! One of my parents best discipline philosophies came from the John Wayne movie McLintock, "When raising your voice doesn't do anything, it's time to raise your hand," and I think a lot of kids would benefit from more parents adopting this philosophy.

The kids I know who get spanked are generally more well behaved than the ones that don't. The worst kids I know never get spanked. Thats all i need to know. Oh and I got spanked and turned out just fine.

I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m second generation, so while I know I was loved, I also got heavy pressure about understanding how much the previous generations had done to get me where I am. There was this expectation that I be perfect and brilliant and that I do everything for the family and for god. I went to college out of state and finally had some breathing room to figure out me. There was so much gravity with my parents. Everything was a big deal and my desires didn’t seem to matter at all. Both me and my partner have been in and out of therapy for various demons. At 39 I think I am finally starting to get the hang of this life thing. Similar to you, we don’t want to pass on any of our baggage to another soul. Power to you, brother. It sounds like you’re on a good path. For whatever it’s worth from a stranger, I’m proud of you.

I don't think this is always the case. I have PTSD I'm a mom of a verry happy and healthy boy of three. I have a stable husband. We chose to have only one child because of my PTSD. When I have bad days I'll put all the energy I have left and more in to carring for our son. I'm in therapy and I have help keeping my house clean for him. I don't think a perfect parent exists. But my husband and I are working our buts off to give him the best life we can. And when I look at him. I know we are doing something right. He is so happy and loved. Yes sometimes it's a struggle but I don't regret ever having him. I wanted to build my own family since I was 16 years old. I wanted to build the save happy home I never had as a child. My dreams came true and I'll die before my mental problems get in the way of my parenting (figurative ofcourse). I think it all depends on Witch illness and witch mindset you have if it comes to being ready for kids.

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Yeah, this. I wouldn't have minded having children if someone else did all the work. Maybe. Fortunately I was never selfish enough to believe that it could work that way.

And many will resent the child.

Not entirely true. I'm entirely apathetic towards animals. Don't want to pet one. Not getting out of my car to chase one down. Could care less about your stories. And yet, I love my daughter more than anything else in the world.

*While holding cat like a baby and kissing him* I don't understand why my kids are so jealous. It's like they can't understand I love them equally!!!

Or worse!

My mom was like that with me. Not the concert pianistor opera star she so desperatelywanted to be. I was an only child so I had to learn piano and take singing lessons. Was never really good at it. Decades later I still have the beautiful piano my grandparents bought me decades ago, sitting in my lounge xnd never touched. Mom gone almost 14 years now, so I guess it's time to finally get rid of it. Couldn't do it while my parents were alive, would've caused such drama.

If you are married to a Karen/Kevin don't have kids. The world doesn't need more self important, self righteous, self entitled people.

A major plot line in Dead Poets Society

My brother is in the "lack of personal achievement" dept. He refuses to be an actual dad while wanting to wear that "I'm a dad" badge. Any minor stress and he's sucking down vodka like a fish. Then wonders why he doesn't have custody, his ex-wife has an RO against him and personally has a DUI. But then still continues to drink and brag about being a dad. He's got that victim mentality, to boot. "She took my kid. I'm a great dad. My own father won't pay my bills so if I'm homeless, it's my dad's fault." Honey, you're 33 years old. Get a stable job, stop hitting on high schoolers and quit drinking. And yes: this is after his court-ordered rehab as well. You're not a dad. You're a donor and disgusting. No fam member will have anything do to with him, including me.

Yeah. I am sure there are a lot of people here on Bored Panda, who hate Dr. Phil, and I get that.....I don't have a lot of respect for him either. When he tells parents that children shouldn't be brought into the world with a "job" though, he is utterly correct.

It is the parents job to direct and mold them into well functioning adults who ,can work, fit into your society, and someday make their way-- beliefs are foundation.

As someone who grew up in a HUGE catholic family, I was fully indoctrinated into the religion without second thought by my parents... that being the case, I assumed that that was the standard for most kids in the US born into religious families... is that not the case? Did yall have actual cool parents that let you decide on your own???

This should be higher up!

An aunt of mine, who is now a grandmother to four, puts it very well. It's easy to become a mother or a father. Far harder to actually be a parent to one's children.

Babies are not cute though. Kittens are cute. Babies are gross.

So much about parenting is that cliche that I used to hate hearing before I had a child - You'll understand if/when you have a child of your own. That used to annoy me so so much. It might annoy me even more now, because it's frustratingly true.

thank you. I want to see more parents who just love their kid because it's their kid. conditional love it not what a kid needs. Kids should not have to live in fear of their parents reaction to coming out. Coming from someone who has parents like this, please don't do the same to yours. (if you decide to have any)