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There are people who have been dreaming about creating a family ever since they were kids and that's basically the main goal of their life. And while some of those folks want to have a large family with multiple kids, some think that 1 or 2 is more than enough. However, there are also those who want to live child-free lives. They don’t like kids, don’t really see joy in creating a family and that’s not how they aspire to live. And despite various opinions out there about childless people, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. According to statistics, 1 in 5 people don’t want to have children.
Speaking about that, I think many people would agree that it's far better to not have kids than to have them and be unhappy with the decision. Besides, it would probably do no good not just for the parents but for their children as well. On that note, a person on Reddit asked netizens to share signs that show that a person should not become a parent. Here's a list of 42 of these red flags that folks believe indicate unsuitable parents.
More info: Reddit
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#1
If you’re thinking of having kids so they can be your retirement plan then please. Don’t.
LizzieBoredom 1 year ago
I've never heard anyone say "I had kids because I thought I'd be a good parent".
RELATED:
#3
If you care too much about getting one gender of child and not having the same desire for the other. Parental love needs to be unconditional
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago (edited)
I think secretly most women have a favorite gender, but when they actually get the opposite gender they love them just the same
#4
You think spanking children is cool because your parents did it to you and you "turned out fine".
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
Why is this downvoted? People agrees that hitting your kid is okay because they 'turned out fine" ?
#5
If you have mental health issues and can barely keep yourself happy let alone raise a human being. I quit booze five years ago.
I’m a 38 year old male and have just started to get my life together and find some semblance of happiness. We’ve both been in therapy now and are making leaps and bounds.
We had both had very tough childhoods being indigenous and all.
I highly doubt my parents held us in their arms and thought ‘I can’t wait to abuse and neglect you’. I don’t think that’s how these things happen but it did. None the less, for the sake of my own sanity and that of my spouses (who also is on her mental health journey and 15 years into our relationship), it is the most loving thing we could’ve done for ourselves and that of our would be children.
Niki A 1 year ago
As someone with mental health issues, I can tell you that it is a struggle. I suffered a few forms of abuse as a child, and as a result I have some issues. I am not abusive by far, but my ADHD and PTSD sometimes make me anxious and difficult to understand. If you have issues you need help BEFORE you have kids. I didn't get help until AFTER. My kids love me very much and think I am a good mom, but I could have been a GREAT mom if I had sought therapy long ago.
#6
Don’t have kids if you’re a man and you think your wife will do all of the work. It’s not possible. You have to parent too. She will resent you. It doesn’t work like that.
Headless Horseman 1 year ago (edited)
I know someone like this. His wife has a full time job as a cardiology nurse, he has a full time job as a project manager of his own business. Both difficult and time consuming jobs, no judgment there from me. He still expects her to do all the housework, childcare, and shopping. He is only just now learning to care for his own kids while also managing a full time job. But, their house is awfully dirty because he refuses to help her or even do it for himself once in awhile 🙄. They've been together forrrr.. 8 years? 3 kids, oldest is 7. Yeah.
#7
If you treat animals poorly / abuse animals. People often treat animals similarly to how they treat children.
LizzieBoredom 1 year ago
Okay, but I'm only buying 5 kinds of Fancy Feast so I hope they're all happy with that.
#8
You view your child as a mould in which you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all of your failed aspirations and ambitions on them and forcing them to be something they are not.
Rather than acknowledging your role as a guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help them discover and forge their own identity and loving them even more because of it.
#9
if you do it in the hopes of "saving" or "advancing" your relationship, or if you wish to "compensate" for perceived lack of personal achievements
#10
If you demand your child to be like you and share the same beliefs/opinions as you.
#11
If you obsess over having a cute baby without actually having any experience taking care of babies/kids. The cuteness does NOT fully compensate for the energy, time, patience, and UNCONDITIONAL love needed to properly raise a child.
People see babies as objects or status, and then get frustrated when they actually have to parent. This typically leads to some sort of abuse because the parents are emotionally immature and don’t realize that kids need so much guidance. You’re literally developing a brain from scratch… parenting is not what a lot of people think.
Headless Horseman 1 year ago (edited)
My mom has 4 kids only because she wanted a daughter to primp and call princess, to treat like a trophy of some kind. I am that daughter. If I had been her second child, she would have only had 2 kids. I beg you, my fellow pandas, to not do this to your children.
#12
if you are homo-/transphobic or have other very bigoted and narrow-minded views. your kid might come out as gay/trans, and you should be the one to support them and protect them from haters, not be one of them. if you can't love your kid, no matter what, you should not have kids.
#13
If you can't look after yourself first
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
I think many parents, especially mums, don't have the social net that's needed to raise a child anymore- and thus no time to look after themselves first
#16
If you want to use them for content on your social media account.
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
Better use that money to have some great trips you can use as 'content'
#17
1. You hate humans
2. You can barely take care of a house plant.
3. You are broke AF
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
I hate a lot of humans and plants and me don't get along, but I love my chick like nothing else on this world. Ok, I'm not broke though,that being the deciding factor
#19
You had a traumatic childhood and haven’t put in much work healing from it. You’ll transfer a lot of harm unintentionally to your kids, and likely choose poor partners, as you’re attracted to people who mimic your trauma inducing parental figures.
Headless Horseman 1 year ago (edited)
This is why I have been in therapy for many years and my husband and I have been together for 4 now. We decided together that I am ready for children now and we will be bring our first baby home in just a few months 🥰. I feel that I did it right.
#20
Because you're a narcissist and just want a copy of yourself
Steph 1 year ago
Had this guy tell me on a first date he wanted children with me. Now, as a woman you probably should feel flattered. Well, good thing I asked him „why?“. He 100% meant what he said then: „because my genes Are too good Not to pass on.“ Such a prick! Glad I didn‘t waste time on a second date with him. (Though I‘ve got to admit he was very good looking and a very talented person, but a narcissist is an absolute no-go)
#21
Selfish. The most honest thing I ever heard was a family friend tell me "I realised once I had him I could never have more. I'm to selfish, I want things too and I dont want to spread my time and money further. I love him and would do anything for him now but I'd never do it again" it's OK to be selfish in that way but better to realise it before a few kids.
Edit : there is more one type of selfish. There is many many types of selfish on both sides (kids vs no kids) this comment is about the specific type of selfish shown above. A selfish that Is perfectly ok to feel
#22
If you’re not a fan of being peed on… If you like silence more than 2 minutes per day… If you like spending your own money on things you want/need… If you don’t enjoy being a human jungle gym… If you’re sensitive to people liking what you cook… If you don’t want to get good sleep anymore…and it continues as you stay awake waiting for your teen to get home safe
#23
The world is on fire and we can't afford to live
Michele Monfrecola 1 year ago
The problem is that who don't realise this is more willing to make they're children orrible people for the health of our planet just like them, yes some kids may turn good unlike parents, but if all the "good caring people" stops having children and educating them to the good things of life (and supporting them through the bad) then it would remain only bad parenting with angry traumatized child who doesn't care about the world we live on but just fulfilling their traumatic needs, isn't that worse? (Asking for a friend :p)
#24
Just knowing it's not for me
#25
You are not yet stable enough in your life and finances to properly raise a child.
Linda Garcia 1 year ago
I was only 18 when I got pregnant. I had never been around babies before and had never even held one. I had low paying jobs but was living by myself and got by. Once I held my son, I was instantly besotted and we spent every moment together doing things which cost no money. We played at the park, went on picnics and had make believe adventures. He is now 49 and I am still besotted with him. He turned out amazing.
#26
I do not care to change my standard of living. I want to continue traveling overseas without impediment
I’mSoEmotional 1 year ago
My MIL asked me one day why I didn't have children (with her son,who has a daughter from a prior marriage.) I didn't feel that I should even have to answer this question, as not everyone wants kids. Plus I have never heard anyone ask someone "so why did you choose to HAVE children?"
#27
You're not mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities that parenting entails, you're still thinking of yourself first and aren't willing to put someone else in that position, and if you think the child's income is your retirement plan lol
#29
You're not in your late 20s yet. I wouldn't recommend becoming a parent your whole adult life.
#30
if you have a genetic or hereditary disease that has no cures or chronic and very tiresome, like cancers, diabetes, Huntington's disease, etc...
till genetic modification becomes an everyday routine. you will probably be bringing another sick person to suffer into this world.
What do you think ?
Gøøse 1 year ago
Legit don't unless you really really want to. The cost required to raise a child is immense, and there are already too many people in the world. People are worried about extinction of humans, but we have surpassed 8 BILLION people.
Stay Off My Lawn 1 year ago
My mother really really wanted to have kids. One of us is a punching bag, another is her retirement plan, and the other is a real-life cartoon villain because our upbringing warped their mind beyond repair. Her only regret is that she didn’t successfully beat the punching bag into submission.
Load More Replies...
Jiji The Cat 1 year ago
seems like bp really knows me... my parents just yelled at me for not choosing the subjects that they wanted me to choose, huh!
Gøøse 1 year ago
Legit don't unless you really really want to. The cost required to raise a child is immense, and there are already too many people in the world. People are worried about extinction of humans, but we have surpassed 8 BILLION people.
Stay Off My Lawn 1 year ago
My mother really really wanted to have kids. One of us is a punching bag, another is her retirement plan, and the other is a real-life cartoon villain because our upbringing warped their mind beyond repair. Her only regret is that she didn’t successfully beat the punching bag into submission.
Load More Replies... Jiji The Cat 1 year ago
seems like bp really knows me... my parents just yelled at me for not choosing the subjects that they wanted me to choose, huh!
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