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49 Deal-Breaking Traits In A Significant Other, As Shared By People In This Online Group
Knowingly or not, we all have those little lists of qualities we tend to look for in a potential romantic partner. However, there's also the other side of the coin—traits we're not so stoked about. And while some of these unappealing traits we can accept or at least halfway tolerate, some of them are absolute deal-breakers that we simply can't stand. And since nothing unites people more strongly than a common dislike, let's talk about that.
Recently, Reddit user u/Pnd1528 went on the platform and asked fellow users to share an "all too common" trait they find extremely unattractive in the opposite (or same) sex. As expected, the Reddit community didn't hesitate and delivered some pretty spot-on ones. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the best, relatable, and most interesting answers found in this viral thread, so here you go! As per usual, don't forget to vote for your favorite submissions and feel free to talk about the traits you find unappealing in the comment section down below.
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Littering. You'd be surprised how many people dont give a f*** and throw s*** out their car window. It's disgusting.
Being rude to wait staff
This. An ex-boyfriend of mine did this, and the waiter was still a trainee. Fumbled with the wine bottle, trying to keep his composure while my boyfriend treated him like crap. I just gave the guy many "Please excuse this dumbass" looks, and insisted that my boyfriend tip him properly when paying the bill. Needless to say, we didn't last long.
Men bragging about being violent. Bar fights ain't sexy honey.
THIS IS SOOOO TRUE - neither is telling me how many women you've 'had'. The whole macho thing is extremely unattractive.
Shouting at their partners in public.
Lack of compassion. They only seem to care about themselves.
The inability to admit they are wrong or when they apologize and then justify their actions.
A general lack of curiosity towards the world
Big one. Take someone to one of your fav' places and if they don't seem to register it on any level - it's a bit of a red flag for me.
Chewing with your mouth open. F*** dude it drives me crazy
Always on their phone. This s*** annoys me so much, I want to talk to someone while looking at them. When they are constantly on their phone it makes me feel like I am talking to myself and its awkward as f***.
Everyone says they want their partner to be super career ambitious. Screw that, I say put in your 40 hours then chill. I want someone who knows how to relax
The telepathy tax. Partners who hold it against their SO when they fail to anticipate and fulfill their unspoken needs and desires.
"did you tell them that annoyed you?" 'no, they should just know' Life is way too short to waste time huffing about and sulking, just communicate with each other properly.
Anyone who takes any advice, disagreement, constructive criticism as a personal attack
I think a lot of people struggle with this, doesn't mean they're "toxic".
Toxic positivity, I need to be able to feel bad for a moment when I am dealing with something crappy. It helps me get through it. I dislike people pleasers too, be kind but don’t be a doormat.
Being oblivious to different economic circumstances.
So true. At times in my life, I've been incredibly poor and it stops you from taking part in so many things that people who aren't in the same position simply don't understand.
Just general "toxic"/jeslous behaviour.
No, i do not want to sleep with the Barista because they asked my name for my order. Yes, i was told to treat as I wanted to be treated as a child so I Will be polite and smile to others from Time to Time, this does not mean i want to shag every human being i interact with.
I'm glad you don't want to shag every human being you come across, if you did, we'd have a problem. AND if the point you're making is "just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm flirting" I TOTALLY agree. I smile all the time, and I love talking to people, but I'm sick of people thinking I'm flirting just cause I talked to them. it's only happened a few times, but when it does happen it can mess you up for a while and leave you thinking, "wtf?"
People being obsessed with their social media presence.
It saddens me that some people care more about their curated online presence than their real life.
For me, its the girls who CONSTANTLY say “I’m ugly” and then you tell them they aren’t, and then they go “no, im really ugly” and it just goes back and forth. I can’t stand it :/
I would find this annoying too if it was apparent she only says it for compliments. However, some people really just have that bad self esteem. I used to be similar in my self image and have had too many experiences with people saying contrary to what they actually think that I wouldn't believe someone unless their actions matches their words. Some people are just treated badly.
Narcissistic, that goes to both genders
It could be argued that all of you, who are arguing about gender identities are being narcissistic with your beliefs while denying others their beliefs such as the OP's. Priscilla and the rest, stop trying to dictate how others think and where their beliefs fall. You believe in all genders meaning there are more than one and that is groovy but it's not a shared concept by quite a lot of us. And that is perfectly ok because each of us is allowed to think for ourselves. Stop trying to change the narrative of a post you didn't create.
Self absorbed behavior... the Kardashian/Housewives of ??? Syndrome. You are NOT the star of some reality show, stop acting like it.
The whole “let me push all your buttons, you’re wrong, I’m right, I do it because I think it’s funny to rile you up” schtick. Then repeat it immediately.
When they think that their taste in music makes them a superior person instead of just having different tastes. Applies to both genders. Edit: phrasing
Looking down on anyone because of a personal preference that impacts nothing makes them pretty douchey
Being needy and acting like your the only human in their life. Like please give me a f****** break I didn’t adopt a 37 year old child.
Refusing to do anything they think is considered more "feminine" cause they think it's gay. Not washing your face doesn't make you straight, it just makes you crusty. I may have some bias since i do lean towards more feminine guys, but there's certain limits, man.
Fake tans, like the ones where they look orange. I've seen both men and women walking around like they are hot s*** looking like an Oompa Loompa
Smell and poor hygene. No one smells just because they are a dude, they smell because they don't clean themselves. Excessive body spray is not an alternative
If I can smell your stink at a normal conversation-having distance... I don't want to know what other aromas lurk. 🤮
Making fun of my appearance, even as a joke. It’s a giant red flag and I won’t date anyone who “teases” me about it.
Very true. I don't like it when someone teases you in a really bullying way and then says 'it was just a joke, can't you take a joke?' Making you feel even worse!!
Not being "teachable", as in can't be introspective or when faced with new information cannot budge on their initial opinions/conclusions, is unattractive. It comes off as stupid and arrogant and makes me feel like I'm dealing with someone who is unreasonable.
I am accused about this a lot at work. By one guy. Because I don't agree with him. He's always telling me, 'well that's your perspective'. But often it is just his personal opinion which he hasn't bothered to research or back with any credible evidence, findings or reports. So there could be two responses to this, is the person who you're referring to like him, someone who just refuses to think about or acknowledge statistics and facts that have been peer-reviewed in respected publications? Or are they like me and are simply not going to substitute whatever your opinion is for their own, just because you think they should with no viable basis for it?
Pushing you to do something you don't want to because " everyone does it and it's fun"
When they can’t take no for an answer. This is a pretty broad statement, but a lot of guys have trouble taking no. It can go from slightly annoying to really scary in a heartbeat
Playing hard to get. if you like me just f**** tell me, stop beating around the bush.
edit: i am a girl.
Or being really vague about what you mean to them, so you don't know what sort of relationship you are in. You feel like a nag if you try to clarify it all. I think it's so that they can justify the 'non' status of your relationship when they start dating other people without telling you.
Inflated egos. Entitlement. Incapability of being humble and make fun of yourself.
Lip fillers. Its super popular right now but it just grosses me the f*** out.
Squeaky little girl voices, especially if it’s on purpose.
People who only like one side of you. No, I'm not going to be upbeat and cracking jokes all the time, sometimes I wanna be serious and if you can't even pretend to care then the whole relationship feels kinda fake
Yup. Had this one. Fair weather friendship - here for the fun, not for anything else. Everybody has rough patches and bad days and we should be allowed to be prepared for all sorts of weather in life.
Feeling the need to post on social media constantly and pretending that they don’t care about it but obviously care A LOT
Acting thirsty or making sexual innuendos early on. Nothing dries me up more
If they think making innuendos on day 1 is sexy, then they probably also lack maturity/ respect.
The need to take pictures so often and record everything. This should never have been normalized.
I write everything down. On any piece of paper from anywhere. I don't know why - and I seldom use that information for anything further. Because I can't find it anyway. I think it's just a latent desire to be a writer of things and stuff.
Not taking the f***** compliment. Like, if I say your hair looks good today, and you say, "haha, no! It looks like s***!" And i try to tell you again that it looks good, if you disagree the second time, I will tell you that fine, I agree it looks like s***.
Once I was at a large convention. A woman complimented me on my eye color, and I did the above behavior. She told me that compliments are like gifts, you can either say thank you and appreciate or toss the gift back in the person's face like a jerk. 20 years later I still remember this wise woman's words.
People who do things for ‘clout’ and don’t actually care for being genuine until they need something from you.
If you're at work apparently that's called being 'professional'. Which as far as I can tell is another word for pseudo-sociopath.
"Im just too crazy😝", "Not like other girls"
b-bb-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bb-b-b-b-but I'm not like other girls... I'm a microwave
Acting stupid for attention.
Using your partner as your therapist.
Man, I don't know why I attract the 'broken' guys, but every date I've been on where it went past the first date, they'd start telling me all about their disturbing thoughts and I'd be supportive, but I'd internally be screaming because this was supposed to be a fun time and I didn't emotionally prepare for this.
Well this last one is I guess more about Americans... I dont think that in europe people are so obsessed with dating for the sake of dating. In europe people just hang out and try to make friends,we do t get the part where I will sleep with you and you can buy me meals but I dont really like you as a person and that's ok... it's just madness what americans see as standard..
Not respecting when something upsets or bothers you. Whether its a joke or comment they made or an incident that happened. Being told to "calm down" or "its just a joke" or "you're over reacting"
That is called gaslighting and it's a common form of abuse.
Load More Replies...FTR, as a woman I absolutely do not believe it's okay to hit a man. Sadly, our culture often downplays a heavy handed slap across the face as some kind of bad b*tch mark of power but it's abuse, plain & simple. People should not be hitting each other, regardless of gender, period. This behavior sets a potentially dangerous precedent and is never okay.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one whose biggest turn off is bias? If you're racist, homophobic, transphobic, hate one breed of dog because it looks scary, anything like that, I'm gone.
No, this is one for me as well. What started off as a "dark sense of humor" quickly became flat out every "ism" in the book. Funny thing is, for all their supposed superiority, most insecure & immature person I ever dated. They literally feared anyone different than them because they might be "better" somehow. Really pathetic individual.
Load More Replies...Not respecting when something upsets or bothers you. Whether its a joke or comment they made or an incident that happened. Being told to "calm down" or "its just a joke" or "you're over reacting"
That is called gaslighting and it's a common form of abuse.
Load More Replies...FTR, as a woman I absolutely do not believe it's okay to hit a man. Sadly, our culture often downplays a heavy handed slap across the face as some kind of bad b*tch mark of power but it's abuse, plain & simple. People should not be hitting each other, regardless of gender, period. This behavior sets a potentially dangerous precedent and is never okay.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one whose biggest turn off is bias? If you're racist, homophobic, transphobic, hate one breed of dog because it looks scary, anything like that, I'm gone.
No, this is one for me as well. What started off as a "dark sense of humor" quickly became flat out every "ism" in the book. Funny thing is, for all their supposed superiority, most insecure & immature person I ever dated. They literally feared anyone different than them because they might be "better" somehow. Really pathetic individual.
Load More Replies...