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We all value our partners. The warmth, love and companionship we get from sharing a life with someone is one of the most rewarding things about being human, but living in such close proximity to someone can have its awkward moments too...
Sometimes your beloved can shock you with the dumb things that they say or do. You thought you knew them so well, but we are all capable of the odd brainfart, aren't we?
Someone took to AskReddit recently to ask the question “What’s the dumbest thing your significant other has said or done?,” and it had us all scrolling through suspiciously. She didn't, did she?
Luckily for me, my secret shames are safe for now. The thread quickly went viral as people couldn't resist spilling the beans about 'that time,' and the examples are as baffling as they are hilarious. Scroll down below to check them out for yourself, and share your own in the comments!

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#1

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I had a kid prior to getting together with my fiancée and having a second daughter. The father of my eldest is not in the picture and my wonderful fiancée has taken her on as his own. To the point that he frequently forgets that she isn’t his genetic offspring.

We were at a holiday party at his parents house. I was talking to my future SIL about my eldest and her night terrors when fiancée pops off with “she gets that from my side of the family...” cue really confused faces all around. His sister sat there and started questioning what other genetic diseases my eldest has magically got from stepdad. It took a few minutes before he figured it out. I love this man...

coffeetish , jonty.fisher Report

Final score:
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#2

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I’ll answer for my wife. I had gone to Home Depot to pick up a trailer hitch ball for my truck. I didn’t realize that they had different shaft sizes, and I didn’t know which size I needed, so I called my wife and this conversation took place:

Me: “Are you at the house?” Her: “Yeah, why?” Me: “Can you go out to the driveway and measure the hole in the bumper of my truck? It should be either 1/2-inch or 3/4-inch.”

There’s a pause...

Her: “Isn’t your truck with you?”

Yes. Yes it was. That was how I had gotten to Home Depot. I forgot.

PrimarySearcher , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:
240points
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Nadine
Nadine
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not stupidity; it's just a brain fart and it can happen to anyone. Once I was on my cell phone talking to my husband and frantically searching my purse for...my cell phone. lol

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#3

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done On the phone trying to describe where we are to her parents:

“We are behind the car that’s in front of us.”

I lost it.

Envision06 , TexasDarkHorse Report

Final score:
201points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do it to my wife. She "loves" it. Also, I'm a dad, so I'm allowed to make jokes like this.

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#4

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My parents have an extremely ugly little dog. Like, this thing is unfortunate. A cross between a Chihuahua and some sort of lesser demon. Buggy eyes, underbite, just ugly. And she picks on my dogs, so she's not my favorite.

But this little creature adores my husband. One day, he came in to my parents' house from work (I was already there) and ugly dog runs up to him like she just won the lottery. He scoops her up, laughing, and completely without thinking, he said, "Ticktockmaven, why is it that only the ugly girls like me?"

There was dead silence, and his expression blanched in slow motion. It was like someone looking down and realizing they had **** all over the floor. I said nothing, just got up and walked outside, the sounds of his pitiful grovelling following me. "Not you!! I didn't mean you!! Oh my God, I am so sorry, I didn't..."

I know he meant nothing by it, but to this day my entire family gives him **** for it. He definitely paid for the faux pas, lol.

ticktockmaven , Joanna Poe Report

Final score:
182points
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#5

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done In high school, my girlfriend said, "Do you know what I just realized? There's no state that starts with the letter F!"

We went to school in Florida.

warm_sock , Jim Kelly Report

Final score:
165points
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#6

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done One time my husband called me at work, "Babe, you're gonna be mad, I made a mess but don't worry I'll fix it!" I didn't even ask, just sighed, because he is basically Lucy from I Love Lucy. When I got home a little bit later it was to a living room COVERED in gray powder, my husband completely filthy with a trash bag and broom and a super panicked look on his face. Turned out he'd decided to help around the house and wanted to clean the fireplace, he'd just decided the best way to do it would be to stand in front of it with a trash bag and use the leaf blower to blow the ashes in.

Spoiler - that doesnt work. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I laughed my ass off and it's still one of my favorite weird things he's done

awash907 , chrisbb Report

Final score:
159points
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#7

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done Once me and my SO went for a walk around a local nature reserve.

On the way in we got a map given to us so we could navigate the area. Later on the walk she is looking at the map and says to me "these maps really need a 'you are here' on them."

It took me a second to realise what she meant, so I explained that it's a hand held map and that it wouldn't be possible, it took 4/5 attempts before it clicked with her.

Yazad , Sakeeb Sabakka Report

Final score:
159points
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#8

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky.

"Wow, there's so much we don't know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?".

He was dead serious.

tinbasher97 , aivas14 Report

Final score:
158points
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Oathbraker
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a kid I found this nifty little program called Stellarium- it basically shows you the stars and constellations with their names. So I was pretty surprised to learn that the stars actually change with the seasons with some stars only visible from the south hemisphere. (Somewhere an astronomer is cringing at my terrible explanation).

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#9

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I asked him to plant a baby tree in the back garden. The next day I saw it and thought it looked strange. Walked up and it had been planted upside down. He thought the roots were tiny limp branches. Laughed for days

goaheadblameitonme , HarshLight Report

Final score:
155points
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Lef
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did he also think that the actual branches were stiff roots?

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#10

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done We were sitting in a bus in the middle of heavy rush hour traffic. I'm kind of a car geek, so I spotted a mint condition 1970s classic Mustang.

I just went and said "Look honey! A car!"

There were hundreds of them.

... I don't think she'll let me live this down.

Vakardur , Oran Viriyincy Report

Final score:
148points
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#11

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done When my now ex-wife first started dating. I had made a roast for dinner, in my slow cooker. After dinner, she was helping me clean up. I come into the kitchen, and she had the entire crock pot submerged in the sink. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was cleaning it. (She didn’t know that the ceramic inside could be removed to clean).

After I explained that to her, she said, “I guess I shouldn’t have put the whole thing under water!” I said, “No!” And reached over and unplugged it! I have no idea how she didn’t get electrocuted.

Crestwoods , Alex Shultz Report

Final score:
143points
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Ryo Bakura
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a slow cooker, so it was cooking her slowly. Duh.

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#12

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done Now ex girlfriend from high school. Her power had gone out in the neighboring town. She called crying saying she had so much homework to complete. I said to drive to my house since I still had power. She yelled at me saying “how dare you attempt to get me to drive! How do you expect me to do that... my headlights won’t work!”

It didn’t last much longer after that.

jlancaster26 , NO NAME Report

Final score:
135points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The lights are on but nobody’s home. Well, the lights are off and somebody's home. Hm, nevermind.

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#13

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My eldest child was born in December 2004. This was the year that we found out that London had won the bid for the 2012 Olympics.

It was announced that children born on 20/12 would get free entry to the Olympics.

“But what if they’re not any good at sports?”

I had to gently explain that it was free entry to watch the Olympics.

NotoriousREV , David Jones Report

Final score:
133points
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#14

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, "why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!".

I almost died laughing.

Zombombaby , Paulo O Report

Final score:
129points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What are these? Tents for ants? The tents have to be at least... three times bigger than this!

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#15

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done As we were driving along the road we saw a horse with its head over a gate. We slowed down, she opens the window and says “Mooooooo”.

StingerMcGee , Pavel Report

Final score:
126points
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Johnny
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many horses understand cow as a second language (they don't generally speak it because they feel like their pronunciation is not good), so she had a pretty good chance of having the horse understand her.

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#16

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done When he first got a popcorn maker, he was excited to try it out. He got the popcorn, I think the machine came with seasoning, he got out a cereal bowl to catch the popped kernels. He scooped out a cup of unpopped kernels and put it in the machine.

Now, those of you paying attention to the quantities may have noticed a fatal flaw in this plan. After a minute or so, the popcorn started coming out, slowly at first. As it picked up speed, it gradually became clear that one cup of popcorn doesn't fit into a cereal bowl when popped - not even close. As the popcorn started to rise higher and higher, about to overflow, with no signs of stopping...

I will remember his mildly panicked face for as long as I live. At first he stood there, touching the bowl, trying to figure out how to replace it without making an even bigger mess. Finally, as the popcorn started bouncing onto the counter, he softly said "oh no." At that point, I couldn't hold it in any longer and collapsed on the floor laughing

mamavapa , Ann Larie Valentine Report

Final score:
120points
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#17

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I had an ex who didn't realise that vacuum cleaners had to be emptied. He genuinely thought the vacuum was broken because it was full of fluff and didn't suck any more. The worst thing was, I believed him that it was broken because it didn't occur to me that someone could think vacuum cleaners magically made dust disappear.

peace-and-bong-life , Rich Moore Report

Final score:
119points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you clean a vacuum cleaner you become the vacuum cleaner.

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#18

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My boyfriend (now husband) and I were playing cash cab when we first started dating. For those of you who don’t know the concept of this game you have to try to answer as many questions as you can in a short amount of time, so you obviously answer really fast. My question to him was “what animal in Africa kills the most people a year.” And he blurted out very loudly “ANTS!!!!” I laughed so hard I was crying. 11 years later we still every once and awhile look at each other with a wild look in our eyes and yell “ANTS!”

bunnyfitz26 , Lennart Tange Report

Final score:
117points
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Ozacoter
Ozacoter
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say mosquitos (If you dont count humans)

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#19

When my wife and I started dating in the mid 1980's she knew I was a huge fan of David Letterman. She said she had a huge surprise for me as she had tickets to see Letterman at a local venue.

I was confused since David Letterman did not tour. I looked at the tickets she purchased and they were for the old 60's band "The Lettermen".

We didn't go, but I married her. 30 years this September...

DetroitBreakdown Report

Final score:
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#20

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I work at a school and received a candle as a gift one year for christmas from a parent. They were known to be hippies and set in their lifestyle. My boyfriend picked it up and said “wow, what hipsters, they even got a candle made in Mexico. It says soy candle!!” The candle was made from soy wax, it did not say “I am candle” in Spanish, much to his disappointment and my delight.

whoisgalgadot , Felix the Cat Report

Final score:
113points
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#21

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done She believed that the Earth is made of water. She thought you could just swim to the bottom of the ocean and come out on the other side of the freaking planet. That one took a long time to convince her that she had it wrong. Heck, I'm not even certain I have convinced her.

Stopthelemurs , Jaysin Trevino Report

Final score:
111points
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#22

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I love my husband but I have watched him empty a vacuum cleaner bag into a wire wastebasket.

I, on the other hand, am frequently unable to remember common words and have to resort to saying things like “The box you put stuff in to make it cold.”

AugustaScarlett , ebrunar Report

Final score:
109points
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#23

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done My wife couldn't think of the word "wood," and told me to clean up my "tree chunks."

irwinlegends , VSPYCC Report

Final score:
104points
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#24

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done Ex-girlfriend now, but one time we were talking about changes in taste preferences when she said “taste bugs”.

I corrected her, and she looked at me confused.

She had thought that “taste buds” was “taste bugs” her entire life up until that moment.

FireButchJones , Marc Majcher Report

Final score:
98points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course! Tiny little creatures that live in your mouth. They taste the food and quickly phone the guys at Head Office to tell them if the food's any good. Makes perfect sense.

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#25

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done One time, my wife (then girlfriend) and I were at her brother’s house for a game night of Cranium.

I don’t remember the exact details (probably because I was in hysterics) but someone asked my wife what caused the US to enter WWII.

Now, my wife is not very history savvy. Probably her least knowledgeable subject. I, on the other hand, loooove history.

Point is, she didn’t know the answer. Her guess was the Boston Tea Party.

I lost my ****, and so did she and everyone else. To this day, if my wife doesn’t know the answer to something, I tell her to write down “Boston tea party.”

ItsTimeToExplain , Joe Hall Report

Final score:
98points
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#26

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done “What do you put in carrot cake to make it carrot flavoured? Is it carrot zest?” I’ve never let him live it down!

chokeyourselftosleep , Brian Teutsch Report

Final score:
96points
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#27

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done When my wife gave birth to our oldest daughter the doctor offered to let me cut the umbilical cord. I told him "Surely that's YOUR job."

I had no idea that was a thing.

_welby_ , laflor Report

Final score:
90points
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Oathbraker
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's got a point you know. I find it mildly annoying when I get in a taxi and the driver asks what route to take. If I knew the location of the place I wouldn't have called a taxi in the first place.

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#28

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done Tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave for the first time. Wrapped them in tinfoil. Came to ask me why there were lightning bolts in the microwave and why was it getting very hot.

john_wb , coltomatic Report

Final score:
86points
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KarmaQueen
KarmaQueen
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does one get through life not knowing that metal in a microwave is not a good thing.

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#29

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done I have a fan with different settings labelled L M H for how fast the fan spins.

She was looking at it and told me she set the fan to 'Large'.

hafuhafu , Dennis Sylvester Hurd Report

Final score:
81points
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What would the H stand for? Huge? But then the M in the middle wouldn't make sense, if she thought it meant Medium. Massive, then? Large, Massive, Huge. Is Huge bigger than Massive? Humongous? I'm giving this WAY too much thought...

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#30

30 People Expose The Dumbest Things Their Significant Other Has Said Or Done She genuinely through Barack Obama’s name was ‘Black Obama’.

SubjectObjective Report

Final score:
79points
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