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“AITA For Not Wanting My Sister At My Wedding Since She Is In A Wheelchair?”: Internet Defends Woman
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“AITA For Not Wanting My Sister At My Wedding Since She Is In A Wheelchair?”: Internet Defends Woman

Sister Takes Away Spotlight From Sibling On Special Occasions, They Disinvite Her From WeddingCancer Survivor Uninvited From Sibling’s Wedding As She “Will Take Up All Of The Spotlight”Person Is Sick Of Ill Sister Stealing The Spotlight, Uninvites Her From The Wedding“I Am Sick Of Her Stealing The Spotlight”: Person Refuses To Have Sister At Wedding, Drama EnsuesWoman Keeps Stealing The Spotlight At Sibling’s Important Events, Gets Uninvited From WeddingSister Gets Uninvited From Wedding Because She Always Steals The Spotlight From Her SiblingSister In Wheelchair Isn't Invited To Wedding, Because She Might Steal The SpotlightSister Keeps Stealing Sibling’s Spotlight, Gets Uninvited From Wedding
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If you have plans to tie the knot, your wedding day will likely be one of the most special days of your life. And it’s beautiful to have all of your loved ones gathered in one place to celebrate you and your partner. But unfortunately, life doesn’t take any days off from being complicated, even your wedding day.

One soon-to-be newlywed recently shared on Reddit that they’ve decided to uninvite their sister from their wedding to try to ensure that the focus of their big day doesn’t drift to her and her health problems. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies readers have left them. 

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    The bride and groom always have the final say as to who will be welcome at their wedding

    Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    So after hearing about their sister’s recent health issues, this person decided it would be best to exclude her from the event altogether

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    Image credits:  Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Agitated-Ad-2603

    Image credits: Nataza Krys / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Inviting guests who might make the whole day about them is a huge risk for brides and grooms to take

    There are only a few days in our lives where it’s reasonable to expect to be the center of attention. When you graduate university, welcome a child into your family and get married, your loved ones should be happy to celebrate you and put aside their own issues for the day. But if they can’t manage to do so, they might end up being excluded from the event altogether.

    One of the cardinal rules of attending a wedding is to not steal the spotlight from the bride and groom. “Creating a dynamic that deters from a carefree and happy flow to the bride and groom’s day is selfish, inconsiderate, and a total faux pas,” Monica Delevaux, owner and director at Haute Wedding, told Vogue.

    While the happy couple is thrilled to have all of their loved ones there, the last thing they need to be worrying about is their aunt’s alcoholism or their sibling’s health issues. They will remember this day for the rest of their lives, and everyone attending should be respectful enough to ensure that the day is all about them. A great wedding guest radiates positivity and keeps their lips sealed about anything that would put a damper on the day.

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    Image credits: Leeloo Thefirst / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    It’s actually common for family members to be excluded from weddings for one reason or another

    While it might sound taboo or harsh to exclude a sibling from your wedding day, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the decisions you make. And if having your brother or sister buzzing around will only bring you stress, you have every right to remove them from the guest list. But according to Good Housekeeping, experts say it’s common to exclude some relatives who might not behave appropriately.

    “When making healthier choices for oneself and moving away from family dysfunction, it may feel like pumping an atrophied muscle,” LCSW Heather Coleman told Good Housekeeping. “If you are struggling to set healthy boundaries with your family or friends, or saying no to them for your own well-being, I highly recommend sorting out your feelings with a professional in order to gain the support to take those courageous steps.”  

    There’s no better day to put yourself, and your partner, first than your wedding day. And while it might be difficult to have the conversation ahead of time, explaining that certain relatives won’t be welcome at the gathering, it will be worth it when you’re stress free on one of the most important days of your life. Calmly explain why you’ve made this decision, and keep in mind that you have good intentions, even if your relatives try to make you feel guilty.

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    Image credits: Nathan Cowley / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Dealing with a toxic sibling can take a massive toll on anyone

    In this specific situation, it seems that the OP has had a tumultuous relationship with their sister for a long time. According to PureWow, some telltale signs of a toxic sister are someone who insists on playing the victim, who makes everything about her and who doesn’t respect boundaries. And sometimes, these toxic siblings might even be narcissistic.

    Choosing Therapy explains that having a narcissistic sibling can take a huge toll on anyone’s mental health. It may make you conflict avoidant or avoidant to criticism, distrustful of others, overly tolerant of abuse in relationships, used to a lack of stability in your family life, and lead you to having a lack of nurturing relationships. Experts recommend siblings assert their boundaries when dealing with narcissistic brothers or sisters, know their limits and know when to walk away. 

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever had to choose to exclude one of your siblings or relatives from a big day in your life to protect your mental health? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar wedding drama, look no further than right here!   

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    Later, the OP provided more background information

    Readers were quick to share advice for the sibling as well

    Many assured the OP that they had every right to uninvite their sister

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    And some shared similar stories of their own experiences

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    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Ron Baza
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Design at least a few parts of the wedding to be explicitly wheelchair- inaccessible. Photos on a flight of stairs, a contrived jumping competition, prizes for everyone who isn’t in a wheelchair…

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Send out an announcement updating everyone that she’ll be in a wheelchair but she wants everyone to not make a fuss or talk about her illness so as not to distract from the wedding. In the announcement, talk about how brave she is and thank her. But be prepared to carry on if she is hospitalized or whatever during the wedding, meaning your parents can’t attend. Tell everyone that you know “it’s what she would have wanted”.

    Scotty B
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yikes! As a disabled person, I'd be pissed off if anyone spoke on my behalf because you found me inconvenient. Acting condescending and patronizing will make you look like a huge ah in retrospect. Maybe try empathy or at least google it. You still have some growing to do.

    Load More Replies...
    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is faking it just so she can be in the spotlight. She loved the attention she had lavished on her when she had cancer and now she will escalate her 'condition' when she feels the attention drifting. I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly had nose bleeds at very specific times and always carried a pencil with her

    Scotty B
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Faking cancer? You don't know what she's going through. Your post is seriously F'd up! There's nothing lavish about cancer.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Ron Baza
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Design at least a few parts of the wedding to be explicitly wheelchair- inaccessible. Photos on a flight of stairs, a contrived jumping competition, prizes for everyone who isn’t in a wheelchair…

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Send out an announcement updating everyone that she’ll be in a wheelchair but she wants everyone to not make a fuss or talk about her illness so as not to distract from the wedding. In the announcement, talk about how brave she is and thank her. But be prepared to carry on if she is hospitalized or whatever during the wedding, meaning your parents can’t attend. Tell everyone that you know “it’s what she would have wanted”.

    Scotty B
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yikes! As a disabled person, I'd be pissed off if anyone spoke on my behalf because you found me inconvenient. Acting condescending and patronizing will make you look like a huge ah in retrospect. Maybe try empathy or at least google it. You still have some growing to do.

    Load More Replies...
    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is faking it just so she can be in the spotlight. She loved the attention she had lavished on her when she had cancer and now she will escalate her 'condition' when she feels the attention drifting. I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly had nose bleeds at very specific times and always carried a pencil with her

    Scotty B
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Faking cancer? You don't know what she's going through. Your post is seriously F'd up! There's nothing lavish about cancer.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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