Sweetheart... TALK to him!!! Sounds like y'all need some communication!!! And if you can't get y'all in some therapy!!!!

As Nichole said talk to him. ASK him how he feels, don't put words in his mouth. He may well find other women attractive but it doesn't have to mean he loves you any less.

One of our parish counselors told us that there was nothing wrong with using adult sites before intimacy...and as long as you two are still faithful to each other, let it go. Let's face it: there are images on the internet that are never going to resemble you and what you would ever look like or do, but as fantasy it's perfectly acceptable. But you need to have the conversation with him, to let him know your concerns. There's a chance it's about him, too, and he may also be reluctant to discuss.

You need to talk to him. As a man of roughly the same age, and one who has been married for roughly the same amount of time, I would encourage honest and open discussion before you do anything drastic. I suspect this is more about your low self esteem than it is about anything your husband is feeling, but I could be wrong. I do know that a man looking at nudes on the internet in no way means that he does not love and is not attracted to his wife. If him looking at nude women on the internet bothers you, then you need to tell him that specifically. It is very likely not any kind of reflection of his feelings toward you though. Again though, you need to talk to him about it, not take advise from some stranger on the internet.

Ok bbg! Lemme help you out!! Ok so far lemme. Just say I love you 💕 . It takes a lot to go out there and ask like that so period boo 👻 and also I think you should try some self-improvement activities. Although this may seem very harsh, that’s just the reality. You may think I am being harsh but you should try and look good for you, not him. Confidence is Key 🔑 and, you’ll easily gain some afterwards! I recommend not going to friends and family, because the truth is they will sugarcoat everything, leaving the actual honesty aside. but you should also know that your husband sounds like a 🥷, and doesn’t deserve you. Beauty isn’t everything! But I DO think you should talk to him about this ⛅️.ps I’m only 13 so it’s ok if you ignore this comment I love you💗and I hope u r ok 👌🏾 💋

Stop depreciating yourself!

My take: First, talk to him, openly, honestly, and without accusation or judgement. Second, seek therapy- you seem to have some other underlying issues. Third, have you tried to initiate intimacy with him, as in, you specifically engage him? If you are relying on him to start everything, he might have just given up on the intimacy part. He might be under the impression you don't find him attractive, or be trying to spare you since he might think you're not interested. This all goes back to the first point- COMMUNICATION! Don't just leave him after 23 years, but instead talk things out.

The OP should get individual and couples therapy first, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. She has her own personal self esteem issues she should discuss solo with a therapist, and also she needs to have her husband reveal why he's doing what he's doing, which is disrespectful to her and negligent as a partner.

Think about what you want, and what your priorities are. Talk to your husband. Read Dan Savage.

As many have stated here before me, communication is key. You and your husband need to sit down and actually talk. Right now (according to your post) you are ASSUMING that he is unhappy in the marriage. Has he actually said this to you? (Verbal words, not implications) And while some may tell you couples counseling is needed; I honestly think you may need a therapist yourself. Someone that can help you gain that self-esteem you say you are lacking. Finally, you keep mentioning that you want him to be happy. My question to you: What will it take to make you happy? I've learned that I needed to love myself before anyone could truly love me. Two ex-husbands (and a great therapist) made me look, not at "what is wrong with me?" but "what is right with me." I hope you find what you need.

I did speak with him asking him if he wanted me or wanted me to leave. He said no. I told him I knew he was trolling the internet for nudes and porn. He told me he wasn't. I didn't have the courage to get his phone and show him the proof(?) . Now I see that he has deleted all all his searches. He says he loves his life and he loves me, but I'm still not sure. Thanks for all the advice.